Recently in Girls Category

I'm speaking at a conference on Saturday in Austin about relational aggression and body image (info here), and it's got me reminiscing about "mean girl" middle school and all the sad memories I have of feeling alienated and alienating others. My friends and I used to have something called "truth talks." Essentially we would sit around at slumber parties and tell one another "tough truths" about the events of the week...

Justin told me that he thought your outfit was ugly. I thought you should know.
Your new haircut doesn't look good. I wanted to tell you when you first asked, but I was afraid to.
Daniel doesn't want to go out with you. He wants to go out with me.

Ouch all around.

I think that Rachel Simmons' Odd Girl Out is the best text we've got on relational aggression and the underlying causes. In it, she shines a glaring light on the previously shadowed ways in which women undercut, criticize, alienate, and disrespect one another (not to mention themselves). She's does amazing work since it's publication through her Leadership Camp for Girls, speaking engagements, and consulting work through out the world. (Rachel has a new book coming out next spring--The Curse of the Good Girl--which I am so excited to read.)

Rachel has brought about a whole shift in consciousness with her groundbreaking first book. It seems that we are finally comfortable publicly admitting that women and girls do have the capacity to be highly aggressive. But it still feels like we are fairly stuck about what to do with this new field of "relational aggression" (covert bullying or psychological abuse). How do we actually make change? Rachel's camp is one model. The Ophelia Project is another.

I wonder what your personal take is. Why do you think adolescent girls, in particular, but women, in general, resort to competition, body snark, and passive aggressive manipulation? And most importantly, how can we stop it?

Fellow midwest diva Rachel sent along the following picture she snapped at a Target store in St. Paul, Minn.:

This wall decoration was for sale in the baby-items aisle. Apparently it's never too early to start fat-shaming and instilling body-self-consciousness! I wonder if parents who buy this also buy their infant daughters "high heels" and their six-year-olds padded bras? Ugh.

Elle, PhD noticed a little something (ok, a big something) about how some science kits are marketed to kids:

(Image via Elle, PhD)

She notes:

And while the "boy's" kit promises to boost your brain... the "girl's" kit promise to relax you and let you experiment with different fragrances. The boy's box is also covered with words like "go wild" and "erupt" and "blow your mind,"while the only thing that promises to be exciting about the girl's is the foaming and frothing of bubbles.

Then reader Maggie sent along a link to One-A-Day vitamins for teens:

It says, under the picture:

- Healthy muscle function with Magnesium (for Him)
- Healthy skin with Vitamins A and C, Copper, and Iron (for Her)

(Emphasis mine.) These are only two examples -- things I'd probably just roll my eyes at in the store and walk on by -- but it's worth pausing sometimes and thinking about how pervasive this messaging is. These aren't even cosmetic products! They're selling science kits and vitamins on the stereotype that girls want to smell nice and have soft skin, not strong muscles and big brains.

Related:
Heels for Babies: Not Funny.
Who needs credit cards when you have a junior vagina?
Barbie Girls and the culture of consumption
Because you're never too young to start adhering to patriarchal norms
Padded bras for six year-olds
Branded: The Buying and Selling of Teenagers by Alissa Quart
Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing Our Daughters From Marketers' Schemes by Sharon Lamb and Lyn Mikel Brown

Then to cheer yourself up, check out New Moon and Teen Voices, which provide non-stereotype-laden takes on girlhood today.

This PSA just about takes the victim blaming cake and plays off several inaccuracies about sexual violence towards young women.

TRIGGER WARNING.

Cara takes it to task at the Curvature. I am disgusted by this video.

Update: After thinking about this some more, I think what is upsetting about this is that it perpetuates the belief that rape is a young woman's fault and that if parents buy their daughters alcohol they are putting them at risk of rape. I am assuming that there is a harm reduction campaign around parents monitoring alcohol intake of youth by providing it for them and probably providing a place for them to drink it.

It is victim-blaming to suggest it is the fault of parents for buying alcohol or the fault of their daughter to be drunk and therefore gotten herself raped. What about telling young men to not rape drunk women? That is what the focus of the PSA should be. Perhaps another conversation about youth and alcohol consumption is needed, but let's not tangle the issues. Alcohol is not the cause of misogyny and sexual violence against young women.

New Moon, the magazine for girls by girls and the first place I was ever published (awww, how cute), has just launched a brand new online site for girls ages 8-12. It's totally interactive and completely safe. If you've got a girl in your life that needs a virtual space to express herself, learn from others her age, and generally feel heard, check it out.

There are certain headlines that I really never want to see. This is one of them:

Dora to explore older, racier market

For those who don't know the fabulous Dora the Explorer, she's the character of a top-rated Nickelodeon television show about a little girl who goes, well, exploring while also teaching children Spanish. It's a great show. But apparently, it's not sexy enough.

Dora the Explorer, the wide-eyed cartoon character adored by young children around the world, is facing a makeover amid competition from older, racier rivals.

Nickelodeon, the children's television network owned by Viacom, has been discussing a redesign of some Dora-themed toys and other merchandise that would make the character appear more feminine, say people familiar with the talks. (Emphasis mine)

Oh dear. Dora wouldn't be the first beloved cartoon character to get a sexy new look, but for some reason I find this more depressing than past "makeovers."

You can contact Viacom, who owns Nickelodeon, here.

Thanks to Morgan for the link!

Check out Girls Inc. new project, Dear World, It's Me, a Girl. They asked girls one question:

If you could send a message to the whole world about what it's like growing up as a girl today, what would you say?

Two hundred and seventy-five girls from Girls Inc. organizations across the United States and Canada wrote Dear World letters about growing up a girl in today's world and read them on videotape.They will slay you.