Recently in Children Category

Uhhh...

A study put out by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy has found evidence that the majority of teens at risk of unwanted pregnancy are not from low income and/or single parent families.

via Susan Reimer for the Baltimore Sun.

According to research conducted for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, only 28 percent of those who report having given birth or fathered a child as a teen lived in families with incomes below the federal poverty line.

And just 30 percent of those who report having given birth to or fathered a child as a teen say they were living with a single parent.

We are not only wrong - and probably bigoted - about whose teens get pregnant. Those of us in middle-class, intact families have our heads seriously in the sand if we think it can't happen to us.

This doesn't change that low-income families are disproportionately at risk of unwanted or teen pregnancy, but it certainly changes the demonized media image of the poor, black, single, teenage mom, so readily available to the national imagination. Looks like all those family values indoctrinated via abstinence-only education programs are not working out so well for all the "intact" families of America.

I wear a few hats on campus. Along with being a graduate student and a Feministing contributor in constant search of my next post, I am also the President of the Campus Coalition for Sexual Literacy (CCSL). CCSL, an org that is an affiliate to the National Sexuality Resource Center, promotes sexual literacy through community forums and serving as a liaison between students and campus health providers. This past Wednesday, with the help of HBO, film distributor Roadside Attractions, University of Michigan academics and student organizations, we held a private screening of Chris Rock's Good Hair 2 days before the film premiered in Michigan.

While the event, and the conversation that followed with the 300 audience members was powerful and revealing, the film really underwhelmed me. The sexist comments and the framing of black hair issues was striking. In addition, the portrait of Black hair excluded some important voices that were equally vital to the black hair conversation. However, the film did make a contribution by grappling with the relationship that decision-making about hair has with age. Lastly, it educated the masses about the harm involved with relaxers using two methods that are bound to be widely received--humor and famous people.

So let's break this down.

There are a lot of pretty ridiculous kids toys out there, and we've taken on the sexism they invoke before.

The My Cleaning Trolley is an amazing eleven piece cart to push around with all the cleaning supplies you could ever need! I'm all for teaching kids about cleaning--even making it fun.

But the big purple "Girls Only" stamp is just too much.

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, right?

But while this baby shirt (that's right, for 0 - 4 year olds) has created a huge uproar among parenting blogs, Sociological Images updates that the designer of the shirt claims it was actually a critique in response to clothes that sexualize young girls. (Check out her Equal Opportunity Baby Grows line.)

So what do you think, still offensive (after all, I wouldn't be surprised if the designer failed to mention another reason behind the shirt was to get this publicity) or a humorous way of poking fun at the ridiculousness of sexualized children's clothes?

h/t to Daniela!

Check out this awesome news! From the AP:

"Uruguay lawmakers Wednesday adopted a trailblazing law allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt children, in an unprecedented move in Latin America."

This is hugely exciting, and a true sign of progress towards equal rights! I would be remiss not to note, though, that, as the article mentions, religious leaders and right-wing politicians continue to push a conservative agenda and hold great influence in Uruguay (abortion remains illegal there, for example). So there is much work still to be done. But today, we can celebrate this exciting landmark victory for progressive values and equal rights in Latin America!

P.S. I can't quite make it out, but I'm pretty sure the banner in the pic reads "No Mas Homofobia" or "No More Homophobia"!

You thought My First Stripper Pole was bad (which was thankfully taken off the shelves), but it looks like there's a new toy in town selling the sexualization of young girls.

This one isn't a pole dancer kit per se, but a pole dancer doll who goes up and down and all around! There might be divided opinions on the popularization of pole dancing as a form of fitness or even the consideration of it as an Olympic Sport, but teaching young girls and giving them toys highlighting a dance that seems to continue its historical purpose - for the male gaze - is just not okay.

h/t to T-Square.

This weekly Saturday column "Ask Professor Foxy" will regularly contain sexually explicit material. This material is likely not safe for work viewing. The title of the column will include the major topic of the post, so please read the topic when deciding whether or not to read the entire column.

Dear Professor Foxy,

Thanks!

Hello Feminist Mom -

I think that the first place to start is with your own attitudes and values about sex. Clearly, you have spent some time working out how you want to raise your son and I commend you for this. Do you want him to put sex and caring together? Do you want him to put sex and a serious relationship together? Sex and love?

Your son is seven and it is important to balance your own desire to be open and honest with what is age appropriate for him. It is also important to keep in mind that the best sex education from a parent or guardian is not "the talk," but many, many talks and a shown willingness to answer questions without judgment and to provide resources beyond yourself. I am also heavily invested in what is referred to as "teachable moments." For example, when your son comes home and tells you that his friend has two daddies or when his teacher is pregnant. These are chances to naturally discuss sex and sexuality with your own son. More importantly, it is a chance to impart your values to him.

I worry that in progressive sexual circles, we too often remove values from our conversations, but we have to remember that values are important and can include things like respect and acceptance. The far right and conservatives have claimed the word values for far too long.

So what values do you want to impart to your son? You can describe it as something that two people do when they are older and when they care about each other. He may very well be satisfied with this answer for the beginning. If he presses further, you can give more details: sex is when two people (you can say adult if you want) who care about each other are naked together and touch each other.

What is important here is to separate sex from procreation. When he comes to you and asks how a baby is made or you have one of these teachable moments of your own or another's pregnancy, you can then say it takes a part from a man (semen) and a part from a woman (egg). When a man and a woman have sex, they can make a baby. Then go on to explain that while it does take a part from a man and a part from a woman, families look all sorts of ways and many families do not involve a mommy and a daddy.

One of my favorite, favorite authors on this topic is Robie Harris. Her books, It's Not the Stork!, It's Perfectly Normal, and It's So Amazing, talk about sex and sexuality in kind, age-appropriate, and progressive ways. You can tell they are amazing since they constantly top the list of most banned books. I would buy them for yourself and your son.

What is most important in all of this is that he knows he can ask his mom anything, so as he ages and begins to think about becoming sexually active himself, he knows he can turn to you for help and advice and information about safe sex. You are off to a great start.

Best,
Professor Foxy

If you have a question for Professor Foxy, send it to ProfessorFoxyATfeministingDOTcom.

A feminist couple in Sweden is attempting to raise their child (who is now two and a half years old) without gender norms. They call the child "Pop," do not use gendered pronouns, and have kept Pop's biological sex a secret.

"We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset," Pop's mother said. "It's cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead."

The child's parents said so long as they keep Pop's gender a secret, he or she will be able to avoid preconceived notions of how people should be treated if male or female.

Pop's wardrobe includes everything from dresses to trousers and Pop's hairstyle changes on a regular basis. And Pop usually decides how Pop is going to dress on a given morning.

Although Pop knows that there are physical differences between a boy and a girl, Pop's parents never use personal pronouns when referring to the child - they just say Pop.

"I believe that the self-confidence and personality that Pop has shaped will remain for a lifetime," said Pop's mother.

The article goes on to quote a biological-determinist psychologist who is dead-certain that the child's "real" gender will assert itself sooner rather than later -- and that gender will be aligned with Pop's biological sex. While I obviously don't share the psychologist's strident view that gender and sex are one and the same, I do agree that Pop will probably end up identifying as either male or female shortly after Pop begins school. The gender binary is very, very culturally ingrained. When every other child in Pop's class is a "he" or "she," Pop will face strong social pressure to choose one or the other -- no matter what Pop's parents say about gender. It seems like even they understand this.

Given that the parents expect Pop to choose one side of the binary eventually, what's the point of ensuring that Pop's early years aren't gendered? Is there research showing that those first few years are really central to forming a person's gender identity? I guess I would love to read a more in-depth article about Pop's family and their day-to-day.

UPDATE: Go read Holly's take at Feministe and Helen's post at Bird of Paradox.

Speechless:

A plea deal that sent an ex-convict accused of raping a 4-year-old girl to jail for only a year has prompted outrage across Oklahoma, where lawmakers are calling for the removal of the judge who approved the deal and the attorney general is investigating a new set of abuse allegations.

Under the deal, David Harold Earls, 64, of the southeastern Oklahoma town of McAlester, pleaded no contest last month to first-degree rape and forcible sodomy. Normally, the rape charge carries a sentence of between five years to life in prison, but the deal he struck with prosecutors called for 19 years of his 20-year sentence to be suspended.

While many involved are saying this happened because the outcome of the case rested on the testimony of the now 5-year-old girl, whom made "contradictory statements" in pretrial hearings, Earls admitted to the crime and medical evidence showed she was sexually assaulted. Can someone in law please explain how and why this sentence was reduced so significantly, because I just can't fathom it.

Love her, love Elmo. (Transcript after the jump.)

Via Michelle Obama Watch.

Binary gender systems are constructed. They rely on the repetition of dominant narratives via psychology, music, popular culture, film and of course children's books. This gem comes from a children's book called, "I'm Glad I'm a Boy! I'm Glad I'm a Girl! It is from the 1950's and I almost appreciate how blatantly obvious it is, since there is no question what it is trying to do. Gender-based messaging is much more subtle and nuanced these days.

You can see the whole book here. I am very glad no one read this book to me as a child, I probably would have set it on fire.

Whenever I see vintage sexism now all I can think of is Mad Men.

Jennifer Block, author of Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care, has a great piece up on Babble about the backlash against breastfeeding. (Specifically, she takes on Hanna Rosin's recent Atlantic article.)

We tell women that breast is best, we tell them to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months, we even tell them it will raise their kid's IQ (and we should give that a rest), and then we send them home with formula samples, or with a baby whose throat is too sore to suckle, or a mom whose milk is delayed because of surgery, and we don't teach technique, and we are offended when a woman breastfeeds in public, so we make her feel housebound, and we don't give a mother and her partner paid leave, and we send her to go back to a workplace without on-site childcare, and so her only alternative to formula is to plug her nipples into a machine, and if she's lucky she gets periodic breaks and a "non-bathroom lactation room" in which to pump, and if she's not she gets a toilet, and so on and so forth.

It's no wonder women are ready to burn their nursing bras.

Nice.

For more takes on Rosin's piece and breastfeeding, check out Pandagon, Kay Steiger, Broadsheet, Rachel's Tavern, and Lawyers, Guns and Money.

This is the second incident this month of a young man of color that killed himself because of anti-gay bullying. The first was an 11-year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover. The second is eleven year old Jaheem Herrera hung himself last week and speculation suggests it was due to homophobic bullying.

Jaheem was bullied relentlessly, his family said. Keene said the family knew the boy was a target, but until his death they didn't understand the scope.

"We'd ask him, 'Jaheem, what's wrong with you?'" Keene recalled. "He'd never tell us."

He didn't want his sister to tell, either. She witnessed much of the bullying, and many times rose to her brother's defense, Keene said.

"They called him gay and a snitch," his stepfather said. "All the time they'd call him this."

In an interview with WSB-TV, Bermudez also said her son was being bullied at school. She said she had complained to the school.

She said she asked him about the bullying Thursday when he came home from school and he denied it. She sent him to his room to calm down. It was the last time she would see him alive.

At what point do we start paying attention to kids that are being called "gay" as an epithet? It is never OK and no matter how much it is happening, it seems that our cultural fixation with masculinity and homophobia subsides. My heart goes out to his family, this is truly devastating.

Also check out GLSEN's 4-steps you can take to stop anti-LGBT bullying in your school.

(h/t BiancaLaureana via Twitter.)

Check out this piece from the NYT featuring two pediatricians talking about young people and sex:

It has never been easy for adults to deal with young teenagers honestly and sensibly on this subject, and it isn't easy now. We live with an endless parade of hypersexualized images -- and a constant soundtrack of adults lamenting children's exposure to that endless parade. There's increasing knowledge of dating violence, including well-publicized celebrity incidents. And there's always a new movie to see about how adolescent boys are clueless, sex-obsessed goofballs.

Stir it all together, and you may get an official worldview in which boys are viewed as potential criminals and girls as potential victims.

Thoughts on the whole article?

Trigger warning

This is just so incredibly sad. Via the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN):

An 11-year-old Massachusetts boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, hung himself Monday after enduring bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay, despite his mother's weekly pleas to the school to address the problem. This is at least the fourth suicide of a middle-school aged child linked to bullying this year.

Carl, a junior at New Leadership Charter School in Springfield who did not identify as gay, would have turned 12 on April 17, the same day hundreds of thousands of students will participate in the 13th annual National Day of Silence by taking some form of a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) bullying and harassment at school. The other three known cases of suicide among middle-school students took place in Chatham, Evanston and Chicago, Ill., in the month of February.

It shouldn't have to take this person's death for folks to realize that bullying - specifically, anti-gay and transphobic bullying - is a very real and very serious problem that absolutely must be addressed in schools. GLSEN Executive Director Eliza Byard says:

"As we mourn yet another tragedy involving bullying at school, we must heed Ms. Walker's urgent call for real, systemic, effective responses to the endemic problem of bullying and harassment. Especially in this time of societal crisis, adults in schools must be alert to the heightened pressure children face, and take action to create safe learning environments for the students in their care. In order to do that effectively, as this case so tragically illustrates, schools must deal head-on with anti-gay language and behavior."

In 2007, almost 9 out of 10 LGBTQ youth (86.2%) reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation and gender expression. This should be reason enough for schools to take action, and now.

Our deepest sympathies go out to Carl's family and friends. If you work in a school, check out GLSEN's four steps they suggest that schools can take to combat anti-LGBT bullying and harassment.

For more pics, check out Women's Glib.

America's Next Top Model doesn't have the best track record when it comes to sexism and photo shoots, so I guess this shouldn't shock me. The show had the models dress up like little girls as a way to promote...purity?

This issue is really important to me, the issue of teen girls and being what I call 'out of control.' I did a survey on my talk-show website, and I found that one in five girls that are teens that we surveyed actually want to be a teen mom. Purity and innocence is something that's being lost and as you Top Models are doing this photo shoot, you guys are role models, too. The assignment was for you all to embody different little games that little girls play on the playground.

I write about this a lot in The Purity Myth (cough, buy it, cough), but I'll say it again: fetishizing "purity" and "innocence" generally just means that you end up fetishizing little girls.

UPDATE: Community blogger LTB also wrote a kick-ass post about this (long before I did, it seems - my bad!).

I had to post this considering I received a Barbie Collector Catalog - Spring 2009 in the mail the other day. I'm guessing it was due to Barbie's 50th birthday, which also inspired Sarah Haskins to respond.

She also wrote a kick-ass Op-Ed in WashPo about it, which I second Jill in that Haskins' childhood playtime with Barbie was all too familiar to my own.

We were thrilled when we found out New Moon, the magazine for girls, created an interactive website for girls aged 8-12 to use to express themselves. Well, it didn't take much longer for them to launch a second site, Daughters.com, where parents of girls can engage with each other and the slew of experts they have on hand - and it's all coming from a pro-feminist angle. Love it. Make sure to check it out.

Via Chicago Tribune:

Faced with mounting unpaid lunch charges, Albuquerque Public Schools last month instituted a "cheese sandwich policy," serving a cold cheese sandwich, fruit and a milk carton to children whose parents are supposed to pay for some or all of their regular meals but fail to pick up the tab.

There is a lot that is troubling about this policy, but the main thing is the idea of making kids suffer because of their parents financial situations. Not only would this policy have a nutritional affect on the kids (since they don't get the variety offered by the hot lunch options) it also has a shaming affect, singling them out and making it clear to their peers that they are poor.

Tactics like this are becoming necessary in a worsening financial environment but it's sad to see that low-income children are the first to suffer.

What do you all think?

This is good news and will ensure coverage for immigrant children. Previously, these children have been denied adequate healthcare and had to wait 5 years to get any medical coverage. Bush had vetoed the expansion to the bill.

Senate Democrats moved one step closer to handing President Barack Obama an early health care victory Thursday, passing a bill extending government-sponsored health insurance coverage to about 4 million uninsured children.

The bill, which was approved 66-32, authorizes an additional $32.8 billion over the next 4 1/2 years for the State Children's Health Insurance Program. The House plans to take up the same measure next week.

Even with the added spending, an estimated 5 million children still would be without health insurance. During his election campaign, Obama called for requiring all children to have health coverage.

"When President Obama signs this bill, the real victory will belong not to politicians, but to kids," said Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont.

Wow, a step in the right direction. I don't know what is going on, what does the government exist to ensure the health of its people? I forgot about that.

via AP.

I generally can't take these shows. But I couldn't help but watch this episode of Wife Swap that reader Angela emailed us. First of all, one of the women featured was a bad ass doctor/roller derby player. Add in all of the mouth-dropping moments from the husband of a beauty-obsessed pageant mom - like when he says he hopes his daughter will be a man's "accessory" one day - and I was pretty much hooked.

Maybe this can be my unfeminist guilty pleasure...

Sociological Images posts on these two stamp sets, and well...just check them out for yourself.

Lorë P, who alerted SI to the product, breaks it down:

One of the first things that struck me was that both of these is that they have stamps that mention dad -- "daddy's girl" and "like father like son" but only the female one mentions mom (I guess it would be considered too emasculating to have "mommy's boy?")

Another interesting part of these stamps is that the "Girl talk" emphasizes the sweetness of girls - their giggles, their silliness, their angelic qualities (not to mention princess..). On the other hand, the male version has more objects - trucks, rockets, robots and "strong" traits - being brave and embracing adventure (and what does "all boy" mean anyway?).

It's the so-called little things, folks. This shit is everywhere. Not to mention, I've been staring at this thing like a 90s era Magic Eye poster and I'm pretty sure I see a 3-D image of "daddy's girls" flipping the bird.

The stamps are made by Sassafras Lass.

One of the less-discussed anti-gay ballot initiatives that passed in November was an Arkansas measure that bars unmarried couples from adopting or foster-parenting. Now the ACLU has filed a suit that says the law is not in the best interest of children -- which makes sense, because at a time when there are 3,700 children in foster care and only 1,000 foster homes, the state is further limiting the number of potential caregivers.

"Act 1 violates the state's legal duty to place the best interest of children above all else," Marie-Bernarde Miller, a Little Rock attorney in the lawsuit, told the Associated Press.

The group filed the suit on behalf of 29 adults and children from more than a dozen families. The families claim the act's language was confusing and voters were therefore misled.

The Arkansas Family Council, a group that campaigned heavily for the ban, admitted to targeting gay couples but said it will affect both gay and straight people.

To say that they're doing this on behalf of kids is just ridiculous. Laws like these are opposed by nearly every child welfare organization in the country. And don't you love that twisted line of argument? "We discriminate against gay people and unmarried straight people, so it's not actually discriminatory." WTF.

There's some minor comfort in the fact that the ban doesn't affect adoptions approved prior to November 4. I'm not sure about foster-care situations, though.

Feministing reader Raine sent this in, and I just wanted to share.

I was recently at Chuck E. Cheese for my little brother's birthday party. They have a new feature that, for one coin, produces an "ID Card". You put in your coin and then push a button that either says "BOY" or "GIRL". I tested this with six cards- three boys, three girls. The three boys that I got were Pro Snowboarder, Policeman, and Fireman. The three girl cards I got were Diva, Popstar, and Cheerleader.

Ah, I love Mondays.

There's a really in depth piece in this month's Atlantic about the growing movement to honor the wishes of transgender children and all the complexities therein. Though I don't claim to be anything near an expert on this issue, I thought that writer Hanna Rosin did a commendable job of bringing in plenty of diverse opinions and exploring so many different angles (and truth be told, I was shocked that the usually stodgy Atlantic devoted so much precious real estate to the issue).

She looked at the sociological, biological, and psychological implications of transgender children's rights through the story of one fascinating family living in a very conservative, small town. Tina, the mother of 8-year-old Brandon (who wants to be Bridget), had never even heard the terms "transgender" until Barbara Walter's special on the topic aired.

(I have my own beef with Barbara. While I admire her long and groundbreaking career, I sort of feel like she can't help but simplify most complex feminist issues into shock-and-awe nonsense. See her recent special on "the pregnant man.")

In any case, the article shows the ways in which this 8-year-old's mother and father come to grips with their child's gender nonconformity. They find community at the Trans-Health Conference, consider the pros and cons of hormone blockers, and experiment with letting Brandon be Bridget when they get back to their tiny town. It's not easy, as you might imagine, but I thought it was beautiful portrait of a family's honest struggle.

I leave you with my favorite moment in the story:

Nothing can do more to normalize the face of transgender America than the sight of a 7-year-old (boy or girl?) with pink cheeks and a red balloon puppy in hand saying to Brandon, as one did at the conference:

"Are you transgender?"

"What's that?" Brandon asked.

"A boy who wants to be a girl."

"Yeah. Can I see your balloon?"

Don't miss these pictures. I don't know that my tear ducts can take much more...

We couldn't not post this, considering tomorrow is the big day. (And Jessica said it made her ovaries hum.)

Who would want to let these adorable babies down??

Wow. The FBI rounded up 600 adults and rescued 47 children in 29 different cities for sex trafficking of minors.

"Sex trafficking of children remains one of our most violent and unconscionable crimes in this country," Pistole said.

The 47 rescued children ranged in age from 13 to 17, and all but one are female. Of these, Pistole said, 10 had been reported to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Child prostitution has taken on a new urgency in recent years with the growth of online networks where pimps advertise the youngsters to clients. The FBI generally gets involved in child prostitution cases that cross state lines.

A University of Pennsylvania study estimated that nearly 300,000 children in the United States are at risk of being sexually exploited for commercial purposes.

Those are staggering statistics. There is no other demographic data on the youth, but I do wonder what impact the declining economy has had on this issue.

via AP.

Fellow midwest diva Rachel sent along the following picture she snapped at a Target store in St. Paul, Minn.:

This wall decoration was for sale in the baby-items aisle. Apparently it's never too early to start fat-shaming and instilling body-self-consciousness! I wonder if parents who buy this also buy their infant daughters "high heels" and their six-year-olds padded bras? Ugh.

I'm sure you remember the epically sexist Rose Petal Cottage commercial. About five minutes ago, during a commercial break from Heroes (yes, I like the show) the ad comes on again. I'm already pissed, thinking that this stupid commercial should have been complained off the air months ago. Then something incredible happens. At the end of the standard ad (above) a quick promo for Hasbro's latest disaster, the Sweet Lily Castle, is tacked onto the end.

I can't remember what it said word-for-word, but I swear the last sentence was about letting her have a place where she "can wait for her prince." Seriously. I mean, the frigging castle even comes with a frog to kiss. I think I need to go to bed early tonight. Sigh.

Congrats to Rachel at Rachel's Tavern, who recently had adorable twin boys. In light of the ridiculous news about "heels" for baby girls, I really appreciated Rachel's thoughts on gender and baby clothes:

One of the reasons that baby clothes are so strongly gendered is that babies themselves are often androgynous. If you put them only in a diaper, it's often hard to tell what sex the baby is, but that androgyny doesn't fit well into our gender polarized society, so this is where the clothes come in. Those clothes have underlying and blatant messages. Baby boy clothes have subtle and not so subtle messages. They say-be active, be bold, enjoy the outdoors, and get a paid job. It doesn't seem that baby girls clothing has similar messages.

Read the rest here.

UPDATE: On a related note, Latoya at Racialicious has a post on gendered baby socks that are racist to boot. (Pun intended. Unfortunately the socks aren't funny at all.)

We all know that sexualizing young girls is no new trend; between underwear telling girls their vagina is a commodity to padded bras for six year olds, we can't be too surprised that young girls - including infants - are now being sold high heels.

Reader Lisa alerts us to wedges for young girls called "Hot 2 Trot" sold on Amazon.com that are described in a super icky way:

She'll feel extra fab prancing around in these Hot 2 Trot wedges by Mia. . . . Crossing patent vamp straps wrap over the arches to a slingback . . . . A 1/2 inch cork textured midsole rises to a 2 1/2 inch wedge heel.

In the meantime, the Today Show had a feature this morning on high heels for babies. While the line of heels are soft (because if not, you know, an infant could break her 3-month old ankle on it) and the Heelarious founders seem to imply that this concept of heels for babies is strictly for humor, the shoes still run for 35 bucks a pop and are being pitched as a trend by the likes of Nicole Richie and others. And they come in zebra, hot pink and leopard. (Pic above)

Bobbi Thomas' comment on the Today Show was quite nauseating: "Little girls can get a jump start on their strut and be top-models-in-training before they leave the crib."

Tell the ladies of Heelarious that you're not laughing.

There are certain headlines that I really never want to see. This is one of them:

Dora to explore older, racier market

For those who don't know the fabulous Dora the Explorer, she's the character of a top-rated Nickelodeon television show about a little girl who goes, well, exploring while also teaching children Spanish. It's a great show. But apparently, it's not sexy enough.

Dora the Explorer, the wide-eyed cartoon character adored by young children around the world, is facing a makeover amid competition from older, racier rivals.

Nickelodeon, the children's television network owned by Viacom, has been discussing a redesign of some Dora-themed toys and other merchandise that would make the character appear more feminine, say people familiar with the talks. (Emphasis mine)

Oh dear. Dora wouldn't be the first beloved cartoon character to get a sexy new look, but for some reason I find this more depressing than past "makeovers."

You can contact Viacom, who owns Nickelodeon, here.

Thanks to Morgan for the link!

Sad to say that this piece's origin seems to be parenting.com, but we can't be surprised CNN snatched it up for themselves. You had me at "post-feminist world." (Check out the first sentence. Sigh.)

Thanks to Rachel for the link!

Not just leather daddies, haha. Well this does warm my heart on some level, but I am cheesy like that. I have known many gay couples through out my life that have desperately wanted to adopt and weren't able to for legal reasons or because of homophobia.

The cost remains high, and a good lawyer is essential. Yet despite complications, the idea of becoming a biological dad with help from a surrogate mother is gaining allure among gay men as the status of "married with children" grows ever more possible.

With same-sex marriage now legal in California even to nonresidents, and Massachusetts extending its 4-year-old gay-marriage policy to out-of-staters, in-wedlock parenting is suddenly a realistic option for gays and lesbians nationwide, even if their home state won't recognize the union.

Fertility clinics and surrogacy programs report increased interest from gay men, while couples who already have children are getting married -- or considering it -- to provide more security for those kids.

But before I keep doing my happy dance, I have some issues with the framing of "married with kids." The fact that it is a very costly thing to either adopt or have surrogacy, makes it something only elite (white, male, upper middle class-as depicted in the picture above) gays can do. Furthermore, the assumption that you have to be married to have children perpetuates the myth that women who have children out of wed-lock are somehow illegitimate. It is a slippery slope while mainstream gay/lesbian rights groups fight for "legitimacy" in the marriage system, there are many many other types of people engaging in alternative sexual behaviors who's rights are not only overlooked but not met through the fight for gay partnerships and adoption rights.

via CNN.

Thanks to Twanna for the heads up!

So this video is NSFW (not safe for work) and it is very disturbing. Trigger warning! But it is one of the trailers to the new Grand Theft Auto coming out today, and it is reprehensible. All around the country posters for the new GTA have been removed due to their offensive nature. Most of the complaints have been about the violence in the video game. Not one article has been about the blatant violence and misogyny displayed towards women.

If you get through the trailer you will notice that not only are the sex scenes very real looking, most of the women are killed shortly after forcibly performing sex acts. So, many young men are going to have their first (or already have, as this is not new content for GTA) sexual experiences via GTA and then they are going to kill the women they are sleeping with. The implications of that are mind-blowing. It is no question that GTA is merely reflective of the bigger misogyny embedded in capitalist patriarchy, but the question is why is a game that depicts such violence towards women so popular? How is that acceptable?

I think this has two consequences in the land of no child left behind where standardized educational systems have led to a cutback in the teaching of metacognition in elementary schools. What does that mean? Youth don't get taught to think about why they make the choices they do, they are instead force fed information that they must memorize. So it can be argued that they are being force fed heavily marketed violent images (that often reflect the violence in the media, movies, government policy and in their own communities) that become normalized. And not only normalized, but given the popular nature of GTA, it is cool to be violent and kill prostitutes.

The second implication is where does this put young women gamers? How do they feel when playing video games with such violent representations of women?

I can tell you that watching that video was humiliating and I don't play video games, so I never have to see it again if I don't want to.

A lot of issues here. Other thoughts?

A new children's book, My Beautiful Mommy, (being released on Mother's Day, no less) aims to explain to kids why their mom is getting plastic surgery.

It features a perky mother explaining to her child why she's having cosmetic surgery (a nose job and tummy tuck). Naturally, it has a happy ending: mommy winds up "even more" beautiful than before, and her daughter is thrilled.

Okay, I can understand the need to explain to children why a parent is getting surgery, but this...well, it's just ridiculous.

"My Beautiful Mommy" is aimed at kids ages four to seven and features a plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael (a musclebound superhero type) and a girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants. Before her surgery the mom explains that she is getting a smaller tummy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better." Mom comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist.

Superhero, huh? I suppose that should come as no surprise, given the book is written by a Florida-based plastic surgeon, Dr. Michael Salzhauer. Now, I'm certainly not going to sit in judgment of those who get plastic surgery - but do we really have to teach our kids that we need it to "feel better" and be "beautiful"? Ugh.

Thanks to Alexis for the link.

From The New York Times: "New Jersey moved another step closer on Monday to becoming the third state in the country to give employees the right to take paid leave to care for a newborn or a sick relative."

For more information on why paid leave for new parents is so important, check out Moms Rising.

A forewarning: This is about as bad as it gets.

A Maryland man with bipolar disorder with a history of suicide attempt murdered his children this weekend after a court refused to submit a permanent restraining order requested by their mother partly because she was still "having sex" with him in fear for her and her childrens' lives.

While the psychologist's report claiming that Mark Castillo was not someone of harm to his children was a factor in the decision, Amy Castillo said that her husband told her "the worst thing he could do to me would be to kill the children and not me so I could live without them," which she wrote in the petition for the order.

Nonetheless, Judge Joseph A. Dugan Jr. said, "I am not satisfied that indeed there is clear and convincing evidence of abuse in this case." And brought up the fact that Amy continued to "have sex" with her husband, including "twice on the day he allegedly talked about killing the children," despite Castillo testifying that she was - very understandably - scared of him and worried that if she didn't, he would suspect she was taking action against him.

This is beyond horrid. To discredit a woman for being raped to save her and her childrens' lives is unbelievably heinous. I wonder if Dugan has that on his conscience now that her children are dead. Fucking horrible.

Thanks to Sarah for the tip, who is from the same neighborhood.

This is too gross. An online game, Miss Bimbo, encourages girls (as in under 10 years old) to buy their avatars plastic surgery - face lifts, boob jobs, you name it - in order to be the "hottest, coolest, most famous bimbo in the whole world." Yeah.

Children are given a naked virtual character to look after. They compete against other players to earn "bimbo" dollars so they can dress her in sexy outfits and take her clubbing. They are given missions, including securing plastic surgery at the game's clinic to give their dolls bigger breasts, and they have to keep her at her target weight with diet pills.

Perhaps even worse than the sexist and dangerous messages being sent to young women, is the cavalier response of the Miss Bimbo creators (both men, btw).

[Chris Evans says,] "But there are lots of positive lessons that replicate messages in real life."

While feeding your bimbo too much chocolate has added virtual pounds to the animated girls' hips, feeding her fruits and vegetables will improve her health, Evans points out.

That and diet pills, apparently. Evans also claims that the game is just aiming to be realistic: "The breast operations are just one part of the game and we are not encouraging young girls to have them, just reflecting real life." You know, the kind of real life where nine year-olds get boob jobs. Charming.

Reason magazine topped its article on the "we need more white babies!" movement (and its accompanying film, Demographic Winter) with this great headline:

Best EVER! But seriously, the article also makes the excellent point that people don't choose to remain childless for some weird or nefarious reason. Some of us, uh, just don't want kids, and have decided our lives will be just as happy or happier without them.

When I think about my happiness and my lack of desire to have babies, I'm reminded of the Simpsons episode in which Marge starts a crusade against "Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays," and she has the following exchange with childless activist Lindsey Naegle:

Bart: Mom, I locked your keys in the car.
Marge: Then wait in the shadows!
Bart: Also, Maggie puked in your purse again.
Lindsey Naegle: Poor me… all my purse is full of is disposable income.

Of course, you should feel free to have lots of babies if you like them and they make you happy!

Now this is an awesome campaign.

The New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence is running a campaign developed by the Family Violence Prevention which is attempting to redefine the meaning of "manhood," by raising young boys to become leaders in the fight against domestic violence. In a society where notions of masculinity has become so distorted and, to a degree, contribute to violence against women, making "manhood" (as much negative connotation may come with the word) into something positive is all good with me.

The post Katrina housing crisis is one that we know about but is failing to get as much national attention as it should. It is an ongoing problem and the structures that are supposed to be fixing up housing, providing and protecting the residents and working to "bring New Orleans back," have failed to keep their promises. New Orleans has been flooded with bad policy decisions in the last 2 years that has left thousands of people homeless.

This week has been an eventful one in New Orleans as activists fight against the city of New Orleans and US Department of Housing and Development who have plans of demolishing four public housing developments, that is 5000 units of public housing, and replace them with newly developed "mixed income" housing. Mixed income is one of those terms that sounds harmless, but really means, push out the poor, women of color and single mothers, poor families and families of color and replace them with higher income folks. The people most affected by displacement and possible demolition plans are women of color.

According to the Times-Picyune, most of the demolition plans are going ahead full force with the exception of one of the developments that the Historical Conservation Committee decided to preserve in response to activist demands.

Who knew that Australia's toy of the year would contain gamma hydroxy butyrate (GHB), a drug commonly used to sedate rape victims. Crazy.

Since a number of children were recently hospitalized after eating beads from Aqua Dots, or Bindeez as they're called in Australia, their products are now frantically being pulled off of all store shelves internationally. The chemical can cause seizures, a coma and even death, if enough is ingested.

I've admittedly seen others take GHB for "recreational" purposes back in the day and to be frank, that shit was terrifying. The fact that it was being sold not only in a toy product, but in beads out of all things (probably the most ingested inedible material out there), is pretty unbelievable.

O'Reilly appeared on Good Morning America yesterday to talk about his new book on the youth of today. I am scared that O'Reilly actually was near young people. But I remember teachers like him, the ones that did it to really set these kids straight. They sucked.

But now he has a book out about young people and how to control them and how they act in school. I wouldn't normally pay attention this, but this got me. O'Reilly claims that wearing a burqa/hijab/veil, is an imposition of religion onto OTHER people. Huh?

O'Reilly and host Diane Sawyer are in agreement that today's youth are unacceptably dressed. Indicators of this include the flaunting of low-hanging pants and burqas. Burqas, O'Reilly says, are an imposition of one's religion on others. He alludes to such an expression of religion as a path to "chaos in the classroom" and an acceptable loss at the discretion of school administration.

Oh, I see, low hanging pants AND burqas. So too much exposure, bad-too little exposure, bad. No wonder kids are so confused and angry these days. All they get are mixed messages. And what do these two fashion choices have in common? It is probably young brown kids wearing them, so of course they shouldn't be wearing them to school. My god, how did they even let them IN the school?

And you have to love the hypocrisy. First he chides the school district for firing a teacher to have the students pray and then demands that wearing a burqa in school creates chaos. Obviously for him, it is only an imposition of religion if it is not one that he adheres to.

(Oh and he hates on Colbert, so boo to him. AND, what is up with Diane Sawyer all, "thanks for saying I am pretty?" Barf.)

via Raw Story.

via AP.

J.K. Rowling, author of the mega-selling fantasy series that ended last summer, outed the beloved character Friday night while appearing before a full house at Carnegie Hall. After reading briefly from the final book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," she took questions from audience members.

She was asked by one young fan whether Dumbledore finds "true love."

"Dumbledore is gay," the author responded to gasps and applause.

She then explained that Dumbledore was smitten with rival Gellert Grindelwald, whom he defeated long ago in a battle between good and bad wizards. "Falling in love can blind us to an extent," Rowling said of Dumbledore's feelings, adding that Dumbledore was "horribly, terribly let down."

The part of my brain that determines sexuality was mildly shut off while I read Harry Potter. But thinking back, the characters in Harry Potter were frighteningly asexual or heteronormative.

Maya Nussbaum (right) with author Tayari Jones at the Girls Write Now 10th Anniversary Friendraiser on October 18. Photo taken by Nana Brew-Hammond.

Founded by Maya Nussbaum, Girls Write Now is the only East Coast nonprofit that provides all-girl mentoring and creative writing training for high school girls. Based in New York City, Girls Write Now matches young aspiring female writers with a professional female writer to serve as her mentor and writing coach.

Founder and Executive Director Maya Nussbaum reflects on the past 10 years and why girls need to write. Here's Maya...

The latest Dove ad dealing with women's body image issues is called "Onslaught":

The commercial is indebted to Jean Kilbourne's pioneering "Killing Us Softly" series, which was one of the first video explorations of how all these images of women's bodies we see in advertising really add up and influence how we view women's bodies in real life.

What I find fascinating about this Dove ad is how the fashion/beauty industry is finally portrayed like the drug it is. I mean, the whole, "Talk to your kids" message is usually used for things like weed or cigarettes or drunk driving. It's not often associated with the portrayal of women in mainstream advertising, which also has an extremely destructive influence on girls (and boys) who consume these ads. It's a powerful message.

Of course, as with all of these "body-positive" Dove ads, this message is coming from a company selling beauty products. A company that wants you to believe your thighs need firming and your underarms need "fixing" so that you'll buy their shit. A company whose parent corporation, Unilever, has pledged not to use size 0 models, but also makes products like Axe eau de asshole and skin-whitening cream. These things are hard to reconcile.

via Jezebel.

We are still fixated on the girls like pink and boys like blue thing. Seriously?

A new poll says that one in five women are deciding against having children--or delaying having one--because of the high cost of child care and preschool. The poll, which was commissioned by an anti-crime organization, recommends increased funding and support for quality child care and preschool programs like Head Start.

It's kind of amazing how a country that just lurves to tell women that we need to be having children (so long as we're white, of course) is so damn crappy at providing the resources necessary to have kids and not go broke. Sigh.

If you want more information on the care crisis, this article is a must-read. Also check out Legal Momentum's Family Initiative.