Results matching “"(Un)Feminist Guilty Pleasures"”

As a lot of you already know, I'm getting married (this Saturday, eek). And I'm not going to lie, while there was definitely a lot of feminist-minded thought behind my planning process, there was also a lot of...well, other stuff. I succumbed to buying wedding magazines despite their gross consumerism, bought a pair of nearly-unwearable - though fabulous looking - shoes, and decided to have flower girls even though I didn't want a wedding party simply because I think my cousins' kids are adorable. It doesn't surprise me that I bought into some wedding culture stuff - after all, some of it is fun - but it was wedding blogs that did me in. Truly.

I've always been a bit of a dork over design, and wedding blogs were just the thing to bring my love of things aesthetically pleasing together with my control freak planning side. Whether it's "wedding porn" (yes, people call it that) shots of brides and table settings or DIY madness, I wanted it all. My Google Reader nearly collapsed under the weight of my bridal RSSness.

And though there's no doubt that some of the blogs I've been frequenting buy into the wedding industrial complex in a way that makes me massively uncomfortable (Martha Stewart Weddings, I'm looking at you!), I also found some sites along the way that we're amazingly helpful not just from a planning point-of-view, but from a feminist one as well. Like A Practical Wedding, Offbeat Bride, and IndieBride (no blog, but the forum is great) - these sites helped me keep my sanity with their sage advice and senses of humor.

When the wedding is over and my planning all finished, there's no doubt that I'll have to leave some of these blogs behind - after all, how many wedding cake shots can one look at? But there are a few that I'll keep reading, because the women who run them are funny and smart and remind me why I love the internet. Also, because I like pretty pictures.

Another guilty pleasure - wedding flowers! The picture above is a sample centerpiece from my dope florist, Sarah of Saipua - who incidentally has a really great and hilarious blog herself. Pretty, no?

From the age of a wee toddler, my grandmother would watch Jessica and I every day while our parents worked. And how she loved "her shows," her favorite being All My Children.

Perhaps I watch it partly as a silly way to still feel connected to her (she passed away some years ago), although I'll willingly admit that I'm also just simply addicted to the absurdity of it all. Either way, following a daytime soap comes with its feminist guilt; many soaps perpetuate sexist stereotypes to the extremes - AMC has the glamorous yet highly dramatic Erica Kane as well as the aggressive and money-greedy Adam Chandler. (And let's not even get into the race and class dynamics.)

But I will say that out of all daytime soaps, AMC is actually not all bad. It's the first daytime show to have a contracted gay character, Erica Kane's daughter Bianca, who came out on the show in 2000. And last year, they introduced daytime's first transgendered character, in which the producers brought in GLAAD and other trans folk to consult them on shaping the role.

And today, they're featuring daytime TV's first lesbian wedding between Bianca and her partner. GLAAD released a statement applauding the show for the wedding - although this doesn't come without its soap drama, which is included in AMC's video on today's episode after the jump.

So I was really late on the Sex in the City Movie bandwagon. I watched the film many months after it was released, so I didn't bother blogging on my thoughts.

I have to admit that I have a soft spot for cheesy romantic comedies. I think it's an escapist thing for me--the movies have NOTHING to do with my life, so I can detach and just enjoy the simple plot lines and general silliness of the movie. Maybe I'll write an (Un)feminist Guilty Pleasures post about this soon.

Via Bitch Magazine Blog, a sequel to the Sex in the City Movie is in the works. Although I can often shut off my critical feminist voice during these kinds of movies (as I did when watching the entire series), the movie was just too much. Or maybe I've changed. Either way, the fact that the only two people of color in the entire movie were Charlotte's adopted Chinese daughter and Carrie's African-American assistant rubbed me wrong way. In some ways, the complete absence of people of color in the series (with a few small exceptions) didn't highlight it as much as a movie with two people of color playing really minimal rolls.

And that doesn't even begin to cover all the other complaints we could have about Sex in the City. But now that there is a sequel in the making, it presents a new opportunity.

Tammy at the Bitch Magazine blog asks:

What are your hopes for the sequel?

I hope they can address some of the issues around Charlotte's adoption. The series did a good job of showing her struggles with infertility in a relatively realistic manner, but totally dropped the ball on the adoption piece. I also hope they can incorporate some characters of color who are not so marginal or tokenized.

What about you?

For Samhita's take on SATC, go here.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my joining Feministing full-time. It feels like nothing compared to the almost five years that many of my co-bloggers have put into this site, but it's been an amazing ride so far.

Having this kind of platform, sharing it with such amazing women and getting to be in conversation with all of you is a privilege I'm thankful for everyday. Writing for Feministing gives my anger an outlet, my frustrations a venue, and even the most ridiculous things I want to write about have a space. Then I get to see how all of you feel about it too!

So, to honor my first year writing for this blog, a round-up of some of my favorite posts as well as one's that really pissed some of you off.

In this first year I've written 186 blog posts for Feministing. That's really a drop in the bucket compared to the THOUSANDS that my co-bloggers have written, but I'm proud.

Writing about queer issues has dominated my blogging at Feministing. I often wonder if some of you get tired of hearing about these issues, but then I get emails thanking me for the queer content.

My first post ever at Feministing, which was actually a guest post, was about being a radical doula. The responses to that post inspired me to start my own blog, Radical Doula.

Over this year I've written about cervixes, reproductive justice, frustrating gender norms, lots about feminist sex shops, going to the gyno, race, motherhood, fatness, birth, marriage, politics, my favorite authors and bloggers, movies, relationships, latinos, health, immigration and sex. Lots about sex.

Then there is the series I started that many of you love to hate, (Un)feminist Guilty Pleasures. I also wrote a highly contested post about long distance relationships and another one calling Angelina Jolie breastfeeding sexy. While it can be really hard at times to see commenter backlash about my posts, I appreciate that it helps me refine my arguments, shows me when I might have screwed up and promotes dialogue about these issues here.

It's a fitting time for me to reflect on my first year with the blog because there are a lot of changes coming my way. Today is my last day in my current position at the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health, a job I have loved and been at for two and a half years. I'll be continuing to work for them part-time doing online communications work, and will be taking the rest of my time to do more blogging, speaking and writing. I'm so excited about this new phase and grateful for the opportunities that Feministing has given me.

One of my favorite things to do on Halloween is to just chill out with my peoples/honey and watch horror movies. I'm a big fan of scary flicks, yet I always run into the obvious - that so many of them are pretty damn sexist.

So yes, I'll admit I've watched some horror films that are a feminist's nightmare - basically those cheesy, old school sexist flicks that are so silly and ridiculous, it's laughable. But I also can't tell you how many times I've had to turn off a movie five minutes in because the glorification of violence against women is so blatant.

Yet every once in a while, I come across a scary movie that actually manages to be sexist-free. I would say one example is The Descent, a scary-ass film with an all-female cast of really strong characters.

So tonight, Jessica and I are getting a bunch of scary movies to watch. Do any buffs have suggestions of some feminist-friendly horror we could get?

Family Guy, which I must admit I enjoy, seems to have a thing for rape jokes. And I'm getting sick of it.

The most recent episode, I Dream of Jesus, featured this conversation with Peter and a waiter (Peter is trying to get the waiter to give him a jukebox record he likes):

Peter: Can I have that record? I love that song. I'll let you have sex with my daughter...

Waiter: I don't know...let's see what your daughter looks like.

P: She's...uhh...(pans past Meg to "hot" girl)...right there!

W: Ok, I'll do her. But can you tell her to cry and beg me to stop?

P: I think that can be arranged.

And this isn't the first time the show has made light of violence against women. Usually, I'd consider Family Guy one of my (Un)Feminist guilty pleasures, but I think I have to cut the show off completely. Sigh.

Thanks to Caitlin for the heads up.

In an effort to continue the dialogue idea Jessica and I started recently (also, Michfest belated update to come later today) I wanted to respond to this post about the church signage.

First, I've been thinking about writing an (un)feminist guilty pleasures post about the Katy Perry song for some time now. Honestly I was almost too embarrassed about how much I liked the song, but after seeing this, I can't avoid it.

You can see the video here on youtube, the embedding has been shut off.

Obviously the church signage is absurd. Not really much debating there. What is debatable is his comment that the music video is so suggestive it borders on pornography. Now, it's true that there are many scantily-clad women in lingerie (male slumber party fantasy anyone?) in the video, but there was surprisingly little objectionable behavior. I mean, she never even kisses a girl in the damn thing! And then, to top it all off (if her lyrics weren't bad enough "it's not what good girls do, not how they should behave") the video ends by making it seem like it was all a dream.

So Pastor David, I think there about a million other music videos out there with more suggestive behavior. And, do you really likethink kissing a girl in your dream is worthy of an eternity in hell? Actually, don't answer that.

And to Katy Perry, come on! I really want to like your upbeat, pop like song, but you're killing me. Don't capitalize on the idea of kissing women and then lame out like that. Oh, and have you all heard her other song, Ur so gay?!?

It's back folks! This series which I kicked off a few months back with the Millionaire Matchmaker edition. As a refresher:

In this series we're going to share a few of our own (un)feminist guilty pleasures. It's those pop culture things that you love, even though deep down inside you know that they might conflict with your feminist values. Maybe it's a show that makes your Women's Studies 101 alarm go off, but you just can't stop tuning in every week. Maybe it's a celeb gossip blog, or an immature movie marketed to teen boys, or high-fashion magazines where all the models look half dead. Maybe you're just human, and humans are complex occasionally hypocritical beings. Maybe you have created your own unique definition of what it means to be feminist that includes all of these guilty pleasures (and much more).

We at Feministing believe there are ways to maintain a critical eye towards these (un)feminist things while still enjoying them. It can even be fun! We think you believe this too and we are psyched to see what guilty pleasures you have to add to the mix.

So on that note, to today's edition, which is reggaeton. Now maybe it's because I'm Cuban, but nothing gets me dancing faster than some good old reggaeton. We're talking Daddy Yankee, Don Omar, Wisin y Yandel, Aventura. I love most of it, but especially the songs with a great dance beat. Unfortunately, a lot of my favorite reggaeton tunes have horribly sexist and offensive lyrics. You name it, it's there. Talk about brutal sex, the objectification of women, machismo at its worse. None of this is unique to reggaeton, and a lot of it comes from the roots of reggaeton, which is a fusion of Jamaican music like reggae and dancehall with Latin American music like bomba, plena, salsa, merengue as well as US hip hop and R&B. (Go here for a great explanation of what reggaeton is, and its history).

That's why reggaeton is my (un)feminist guilty pleasure. I can't stop listening to it, because I enjoy it too much (I even have a pandora station that I'm listening to right now!). Occasionally I just pretend that I don't understand spanish so I can ignore the lyrics, but its tough. What do we do with art forms like music that might use these kinds of sexist troupes? Boycotting the artists does little to remedy the underlying issues of sexism and misogyny that lead to these lyrics. Luckily, there is an alternative for reggaeton lovers who can't handle the misogyny anymore: Ivy Queen, a female reggaetonera has been gaining popularity. Now, being a woman does not guarantee that her music won't include any of the same sexist ideas, but from what I've listened to, it's a big improvement.

What music is your (un)feminist guilty pleasure?

Speaking of (Un)Feminist Guilty Pleasures, last night Nik and I are watching The Real World, yes, it's a habit I don't seem to break, and one of the girls on the show admits to her alcoholic friend that she struggled with an eating disorder. Didn't think much of it.

Then this morning my friend Kate sends me an email:

I'm watching the Real World, and one of the girls in it (Sarah) is lying on her bed in front of a bookshelf. And I see an acid green and book spine and think, "Hey, I know that book." I slowed it down frame by frame and guess what it is? I took a picture because I was so tickled.

Yeah, that's my book people. Mind is blown. Now if we can just get Jess' books on that blonde girl's shelf...she needs a serious dose of feminism 101.

To kick off this brand-new series, I'm going to start with the guilty pleasure that spurred it all, the Millionaire Matchmaker. Now we could probably dedicate a whole post just to Bravo and the gamut of shows they have which fall into this category, but for now I'm going to focus on this one.

I love it. I've watched every episode, including maybe some re-runs. The show is reality style, focusing on Patti Stranger, the matchmaker herself (she comes from a long line of matchmakers). She specializes in taking really rich men and helping them find hot sexy women--to marry. While almost everything about her service (and the show) is based on sexist and debasing stereotypes about women, she makes it pretty clear that this is not an escort service. She even has some endearing things to say about the matchmaking profession, and how if she could do this for free around the world, she would. By the end of the season I started to almost believe her.

Her manhandling of the men on the show also appeals, as she tries to whip them into the shape she thinks they need to snag a woman. And some of these guys are weird.

In the end it definitely makes my feminist alarm bells ring at high volume, especially when I found the link to the service's site. Talk about leggy blonds. But it's fun to be outraged by Patti and her crazy techniques, to poke fun at the awkward bachelors and at this same time hope that someone might find love.

Stay tuned for more (Un)Feminist Guilty Pleasures from the Feministing crew!

Introducing a new Feministing series: (Un)Feminist Guilty Pleasures!

In this series we're going to share a few of our own (un)feminist guilty pleasures. It's those pop culture things that you love, even though deep down inside you know that they might conflict with your feminist values. Maybe it's a show that makes your Women's Studies 101 alarm go off, but you just can't stop tuning in every week. Maybe it's a celeb gossip blog, or an immature movie marketed to teen boys, or high-fashion magazines where all the models look half dead. Maybe you're just human, and humans are complex occasionally hypocritical beings. Maybe you have created your own unique definition of what it means to be feminist that includes all of these guilty pleasures (and much more).

We at Feministing believe there are ways to maintain a critical eye towards these (un)feminist things while still enjoying them. It can even be fun! We think you believe this too and we are psyched to see what guilty pleasures you have to add to the mix. Stay tuned for my first contribution to the series (and the inspiration for it altogether).