I'm really tired of these stories.
The fact that these young people are brave enough to come out in a climate as difficult as high school and then are faced with this kind of bigotry, is just really really sad.
Cynthia Stewart, a 17-year-old junior at Tharptown High School in northern Alabama, is a member of her school's prom planning committee, had personally raised over $200 for the prom, and created the theme her classmates had chosen for the dance. She is also an out lesbian.When Cynthia approached her principal to ask if she could bring her girlfriend with her to the prom, he said no. He also made Cynthia remove a sticker she was wearing that said, "I am a lesbian," telling her, "You don't have that much freedom of speech at school." Cynthia's aunt and guardian, Kathy Baker, then appealed the principal's decision to the school board. But the board let the decision to bar Cynthia from bringing her girlfriend to the prom stand.
I hope she can find support and love from her community to stand up to this and keep going on what is a difficult road.
Two older but happier stories from our archives on LGBTQ teens:
Friday Feel-good Story: Teen Lesbians Voted Best Couple in Yearbook
California high school elects gay male prom queen
UPDATE: The school is reconsidering her request.
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Quick spelling correction in the title (feel free to delete this comment afterward):
I think you're looking for the word "principal" (the person in charge of the school) rather than "principle" (an idea or value).
Thanks!
I don't want this to come off sounding ignorant, and I apologize if it does, but why would she ask in the first place?
My public high school wasn't allowed to have a Gay-Straight Alliance when I went there (we did have a bible club, though!), but some kids still brought same sex dates to prom. Given that the principal was against a GSA, I feel like he might've said no to the dates as well (of course, Idk because no one ever asked). Once they were at the prom, no one did or said anything to them. Maybe she was afraid that they would boot her & her gf at the door if she hadn't cleared it?
Point being, nobody bringing an "opposite-sex" date had to ask for permission, so why should she?
She probably didn't go to that school. I had to click a few links to confirm my suspicion, but I found an article that clarifies it:
"School officials say they were already in the process of re-evaluating the issue and concluded Stewart's girlfriend can attend the prom in March as long as she is cleared through a screening process that all out-of-district dates must undergo when attending similar school functions."
I agree! And she probably can pursue legal action over the "I'm a lesbian" sticker as well. If its ok to say "I'm a Christian", its ok to say just about I'm anything else. Mr. Principal needs an attitude adjustment & I hope the ACLU gives him one.
Update: According to the most recent news, it appears the school district has backed down. http://www.timesdaily.com/article/20091111/ARTICLES/911115033/1011/NEWS?Title=Lesbian-couple-allowed-at-prom
Usually if you bring someone from outside your school or from a younger grade, you have to fill out a form so they know who's there for safety purposes. When I was in high school, gay students just had an opposite sex friend fill out the form. Once you're all at the dance no one is enforcing who's actually with who. But its probably better in the long run to push the issue openly rather than just sneaking around the rules.
You know, as I recall my prom, no one much cared who was going with who, as long as the underclassmen and folks from other high schools had upperclassmen buying their tickets. I went with a group of friends. We all worked out who would buy tickets for who in case they insisted that we upperclassmen buy only one ticket (for a date), and I think we ended up with me buying a ticket for a female underclassman*.
But, in the end, they just let us have one guy buy all the extra tickets we needed. Frankly, I don't think it should matter if your date is same or opposite-sex, or if you're going with a date, as friends, in a giant group or alone. It's your prom too.
(I assume Cynthia's girlfriend is not a student at that school, since she's not quoted as such. I also assume that she otherwise meets the rules to attend high school dances.)
* Underclasswoman? Female underclassperson?
"I don't want this to come off sounding ignorant, and I apologize if it does, but why would she ask in the first place?"
I was wondering about that too! I wouldn't ask before I took my female date to the prom...I think that'd just make me stand out more.
But she may have just thought it was the polite thing to do, or that she may be forced to leave if she brought her date.
This is a pretty sad story, though...the senior prom is a fantastic memory for most school-attending girls, and she'll have to miss hers.
It looks like she asked because her girlfriend was from out of the school district, and not a student at the school. Also, it seems that they will be able to attend after all:
"School officials say they were already in the process of re-evaluating the issue [by the time they were contacted buy the ACLU]and concluded Stewart's girlfriend can attend the prom in March as long as she is cleared through a screening process that all out-of-district dates must undergo when attending similar school functions."
http://www.timesdaily.com/article/20091111/ARTICLES/911115033/1011/NEWS?Title=Lesbian-couple-allowed-at-prom
Happy(ish) ending? Hopefully the principal has not yet received all the backlash that will hopefully continue to head his way.
Isn't that illegal, though? Can schools really do that?
Actually, they reversed the decision today and she will be allowed to attend as long as her date passes a "screening" process they give "all out of district students".
I'll bet that's why she had to ask in the first place. Anybody want to place bets that her date doesn't pass the "screening"?
I swear, living in Alabama makes me want scream...quite frequently :(
update: http://blog.al.com/live/2009/11/lesbian_couple_prom_alabama.html
As long as her gf passes the "screening process" they will be able to attend. Let's just hope they don't try to find some random unrelated reason not to let her go. This makes me so mad. And RIGHT after Obama's new legislation.
the issue never came to a head while I was there (four years ago), but in my high school (in a small town in rural ohio), same-sex couples weren't allowed to buy couples tickets to any dances. supposedly the rule was to prevent friends from buying couples' tickets just to save money (was cheaper than buying two single tickets), but obviously still discriminatory. there were no gay or even bi kids out at that school while I was there (I know that has changed now), but I know there were a number of students that didn't like that the rule existed in the first place.
all this is mostly just to say that these things are more common than we hear about, and it's not just in the south. some places just don't have the kids willing to go up against the school, yet.
I wonder why they even offer discounts for couples. And why they even care if two friends buy it. Isn't the point of offering a cheaper price if you buy two usually to get more people to buy tickets? And didn't they consider that a boy and girl could also be friends pretending they're a couple?
They ruin prom for everybody when they do this stuff.
One more demonstration of the fact that it's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
This is why I think minors should be allowed to vote in school board elections. The principal says "You don't have much freedom of speech at school"? Need new principal.
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/11/11/school-cancels-prom-rather-than-letting-lesbian-student-attend-with-her-girlfriend
apparently the prom has now been cancelled. wtf.
When I was in high school, a boy brought another boy to the prom as his date. The principal wasn't happy about it but he did nothing to stop it. I only know his feelings because my dad, who worked at the school, told me.
So when will you be posting your outrage of similiar injustices sufferd by homosexual men? Or is it as always feminist 'L(G?)BT'activis is to be interpreted as L and Bactivists.
Way to assume there. She said "I'm really tired of these stories" implying she was also tired of when it happens to gay men. Also on the happier story links she included one about a gay man. To assume she only cares about queer women is ill advised.
http://www.feministing.com/archives/018825.html
http://www.feministing.com/archives/018800.html
http://www.feministing.com/archives/018726.html
http://www.feministing.com/archives/018428.html
http://www.feministing.com/archives/018083.html
http://www.feministing.com/archives/017995.html
http://www.feministing.com/archives/017876.html
And that's just from the first two pages of results after searching for "gay".
Your comment comes very close to, "But what about the MENZ?!" You do raelize this is a FEMINIST blog, right? Of course the focus is going to be about women! But you've clearly not been around long if you think they've never discussed gay/trans men before.
I can't offer any sound advice for the couple: but I can tell them to rent "Carrie", "Jawbreaker", and "Heathers" and hold their own "alone time". Sorry, I never went to my prom and I didn't miss having wear a dress that I can't pee in. I'm useless here