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John Mayer: Douchier than usual

Via Jill at Feministe, I see that John Mayer is being more of an asshole than usual - he recently threatened to sodomize a New York Magazine editor. Seriously.

UPDATE: Ann's take after the jump.

Posted by Jessica - October 20, 2009, at 12:00PM | in Music , Sexism , Sexual Assault

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48 Comments

I don't see how that makes him any douchier. He IS already a major douche-bag, so it's not like he's upped himself this time ;-)

Heh, fair enough!

[0+] Author Profile Page Ann said:

I'm sorry, but I thought this entire interview was hilarious. Agreed he would never have talked to a male reporter this way. But something about male celebrities revealing their true, douchey nature is just too funny to me.

See also: Jean-Claude Van Damme

[0+] Author Profile Page MarySophia replied to Ann :

I've always kind of . . . enjoyed? . . . John Mayer for his mostly open doucheyness.

So you like this guy because he's an asshole?

That makes no sense to me at all!

[0+] Author Profile Page alixana said:

I wish he hadn't ended on that note, because up until the forceful sodomy line, I was wanting to high five him for pointing out how fucking stupid it is to ask people who are in the entertainment business their opinion about non-entertainment things.

[0+] Author Profile Page JesiDangerously replied to alixana :

If he doesn't want to be asked about his political beliefs...maybe he should stop writing political songs.

[0+] Author Profile Page alixana replied to JesiDangerously :

Yeah, I'm sure he's got one on his next album about his opinion on public health care. Your Body Is A Plunderland?

The whole celebrity-as-expert culture we have is ridiculous, and he was right to point out that the journalist should have been asking him questions about music and his upcoming album.

[0+] Author Profile Page Juli replied to alixana :

Celebrities shouldn't claim to be involved in politics if they don't want to talk about it. It's like when they get pissed about how they can't go out without someone asking for their autograph.

I do agree with the stupidity of celebrity = expert though.

[0+] Author Profile Page Sandi replied to alixana :

"Celebrity-as-expert" ideas are misguided, granted. But:

1. He does write overtly political (if not very incisive) songs.

2. Even if he does not want to discuss politics, there is no need to be such a total shit about it.

3. the journalist should have been asking him questions about music and his upcoming album

The journalist did. Here's where that went:

Is there hope behind the heartbreak?
The melody is the hope. The lyrics are the heartbreak, the melody is the hope. If you have the lyrics being the heartbreak and the music as the heartbreak, your editor made you ask stupid fucking questions! You're standing in front of me acting as if these questions are fair, but now we're talking about something real. So there was stuff I wanted to put on the record that just didn't fit the concept. So the next record will have that concept.

What concept?
More political things, worldly things.

Such as?
Nothing rhymed with public option.

4. Note, that, intermittent with being a total shit, he explicitly states that his next album will have a political concept. And he's perfectly willing to talk about that as long as it's in a discussion of "something real," whatever the fuck that means. (Public option = tooth fairy?) So he doesn't even share your position of sticking to the music--he's just a total shit.

5. While celebs are not experts, there is no good reason why people who are not experts cannot educate themselves on political/social issues and take a position. In fact, they should. And there is a good reason to want to know where entertainers stand on issues--not because they are celebrities and therefore experts and therefore to be emulated, but because if I didn't know, for example, that Mayer is a misogynist ass, I might have bought another one of his albums. Similarly, I would not buy the albums of (and thereby pay for the health care of) anyone who opposes health care access.

[0+] Author Profile Page Lilith Luffles said:

They play his music over the intercom at Staples. I get so sick of this one song where he says "Girls like that don't sleep alone."

Of course it could be Jack Johnson. I can't tell the difference between the two musically.

[0+] Author Profile Page Livia_Augusta said:

Wow. That guy's a total douchenozzle.

[0+] Author Profile Page Sandi said:

Yup, that's about right. Does anyone remember the jaw-droppingly misogynistic/patriarchal "Daughters"?

Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

In conclusion, why must he continue to exist?

[0+] Author Profile Page eaelias replied to Sandi :

If you thought "Daughters" was bad, have you heard his new single "Who Says"?

Who says I can’t get stoned?
Call up a girl that I used to know
Fake love for an hour or so
Who says I can’t get stoned?

Who says I can’t take time?
Meet all the girls on the county line
Then wait on fate to send a sign
Who says I can’t take time?

It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Austin too
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you

He is a douche. But he IS really fucking good at the guitar.

[0+] Author Profile Page borrow_tunnel replied to eaelias :

There are a lot of people who are really fucking good guitarists who aren't douches.

[0+] Author Profile Page Juli said:

Now now ladies, lay off. He's apparently really fucking good at the guitar. (Ego much?)

[0+] Author Profile Page JesiDangerously replied to Juli :

Kaki King could play circles around him.

Really? I'm surprised he doesn't leverage that talent in his music career.

[0+] Author Profile Page eaelias said:

If you thought "Daughters" was bad, have you heard his new single "Who Says"?

Who says I can’t get stoned?
Call up a girl that I used to know
Fake love for an hour or so
Who says I can’t get stoned?

Who says I can’t take time?
Meet all the girls on the county line
Then wait on fate to send a sign
Who says I can’t take time?

It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Austin too
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you

He is a douche. But he IS really fucking good at the guitar.

[0+] Author Profile Page borrow_tunnel replied to eaelias :

Speaking of, does anyone else think Mayer was stoned or drunk during the interview? Or is he just that slow in the head?

[0+] Author Profile Page b said:

I seriously think is one of the funniest things I've ever read. He's an idiot. He's good at playing guitar for sure, but he's a douchey idiot, the kind of douchey idiot I like because I get to laugh at him via Feministing via New York Times.

Perhaps John has been hanging out with Roman Polanski a little too much....

But seriously, this guy is a total pig - and you know this jerkoff would never threaten a male editor with rape!

If you're planning to buy one of this degenerate's CD's - please DON'T!

[0+] Author Profile Page cattrack2 said:

Sorry I don't get the misogny in, "Fathers be good to your daughters." I do think this guy is abosolutely f-ing INSANE!!! Geez, first Kanye dives off the deep end, now John Mayer...

[0+] Author Profile Page Sandi replied to cattrack2 :

Well, it is made explicitly clear that fathers should be good to their daughters because said daughters will become lovers (hereosexual, of course) and mothers and the way they treat men in their lover/mother capacities hinges on how their father treated them.

He then goes on to literally advocate abusing one's male children, because boys are tough ("strong," "soldier on"), whereas girls have "warmth" and "good, good hearts." Also, there are no gay men, because boys couldn't make it without feminurturing, obvi.

THEN he explains that every "man" is "looking out" for every "girl." Um, no thanks? Also, men should be paired with women, not girls.

And, of course, the last line, addressed to fathers is "You are the god and the weight of her world." I mean, I don't even know where to begin explaining what's wrong with that.

[0+] Author Profile Page Sandi replied to Sandi :

"Hereosexual" is quite a typo... Sorry 'bout that!

[0+] Author Profile Page cattrack2 replied to Sandi :

You suggest a pretty cynical reading of the lyrics. What girl, or boy, isn't influenced as an adult by the parenting strategies of both their fathers & their mothers? In a world of increasingly absent fathers, Mayer is simply telling men to mind their relationships.Two parent households are still normative, if not always the norm (and this takes nothing away from single parent households).

You also bash him for heteronormative lyrics when the overwhelming majority of music is heteronormative. This would be like complaining Bruce Willis movies never feature black heroes. Who really expects straight men & women to write songs about homosexual love??? You can be for full acceptance of homosexuals & still be heteronormative, the two are not mutually exclusive.

The guy is clearly insane, but I think its a stretch to say he hates women...Its the height of cynicism to twist 'fathers be good to your daughters' into a misogynistic treatise.

[0+] Author Profile Page Sandi replied to cattrack2 :

What girl, or boy, isn't influenced as an adult by the parenting strategies of both their fathers & their mothers?

At no point did I suggest that children were not influenced by their parents.

In a world of increasingly absent fathers, Mayer is simply telling men to mind their relationships.

He is telling men to mind their relationships, yes, but he is explaining that they should do this because "girls become lovers, who turn into mothers." The reason to build a good relationship with one's child is because one's child deserve to be loved and happy and grow into a secure, happy and fulfilled adult. Fathers should "be good to" their daughters for their daughters' sakes, not to ensure that their daughters grow into ideal lovers & mothers.

It should be noted that the song opens with the speaker realizing that the "girl" (woman) he's into can't have an uncomplicated relationship because her dad fucked her up. Who's the real victim? The man, of course!

You also bash him for heteronormative lyrics when the overwhelming majority of music is heteronormative.

There is a difference between lyrics describing a heterosexual relationship and heteronormative lyrics. Mayer's lyrics are heteronormative because they make sweeping statements that assume totalizing heterosexuality:

"But boys would be gone without warmth from/ A woman's good, good heart" or "On behalf of every man/ Looking out for every girl."

Many "boys" (men) are, in fact, just fine without women. And every man is not looking out for every "girl" (woman), especially since what's being implied by "looking out for" is "hoping you won't mess her up in childhood, thereby complicating my later relationship with her." (Here's a thought, Mayer—why don't you not feed into rape culture by off-handedly threatening sexual violence? This would be a lot more useful than whatever you currently conceive of as "looking out for" us, I assure you.)

You can be for full acceptance of homosexuals & still be heteronormative, the two are not mutually exclusive.

Yes, yes, they are.

I think its a stretch to say he hates women

"You're beautiful, love you, but shut your fucking mouth."

"I'm going to forcefully sodomize your editor."

"Call up a girl that I used to know/ Fake love for an hour or so"

Seriously, you think it's a stretch to say he hates women?

Its the height of cynicism to twist 'fathers be good to your daughters' into a misogynistic treatise.

No, the height of cynicism is to write a song about how best to shape young girls into ideal future mates and then pretend it has anything to do with "being good" to girls/women.

Let me just ask, how do you feel about the last line?

"You are the god and the weight of her world"

Do you really think this is an even remotely healthy way to view fatherhood? To construct the father as the "god"—the GOD, for fuck's sake!—and the "weight" of his daughter's world? Is this not the very definition of patriarchy?

[0+] Author Profile Page cattrack2 replied to Sandi :

I have problems with the last line & from that perspective its fair to label it a patriarchal piece. But the lyrics don't indicate a hate of women.

As far as this view that heteronormativity & homosexual acceptance are mutually exclusive, well that's just ideology masquerading as fact. You could argue that heteronormativity is biologically determined. But for me its as simple as this, everyone deserves respect, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That's really all there is to it.

[0+] Author Profile Page Sandi replied to cattrack2 :

I have problems with the last line & from that perspective its fair to label it a patriarchal piece. But the lyrics don't indicate a hate of women.

Patriarchy requires and perpetuates the hatred of women.

You could argue that heteronormativity is biologically determined.

You could, but you'd need some evidence.

everyone deserves respect

Word. But justifying/excusing—and therefore bolstering—heteronormativity is not respectful.

[0+] Author Profile Page Juli replied to cattrack2 :

This isn't really significant to anything, but... "This would be like complaining Bruce Willis movies never feature black heroes." ...isn't true.

[0+] Author Profile Page Jjuliaava said:

WAIT...UMMMM...FEMINISTING, YOU TAUGHT ME I SHOULDN'T USE THE TERM "DOUCHE" LIKE THAT BECAUSE IT IS DEROGATORY TOWARD WOMEN. YET HERE CLEARLY, YOU USE "DOUCHE" AS AN INSULT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. CAN'T COMPUTE...

[0+] Author Profile Page alixana replied to Jjuliaava :

I don't think the word "douche" is derogatory towards women...douche itself, the product, is nasty stuff that harms women. Therefore, calling a person a douche is calling him nasty stuff that harms women...good enough for me.

[0+] Author Profile Page Jjuliaava replied to alixana :

I thought that too, until reading FEMINISTING which explained that "DOUCHE" insult is code for "VAGINAS ARE DIRTY" "WOMEN ARE DIRTY"..
Yo! That's from FEMINISTING---NOT ME!!!!! although, i agree to some extent. next time use "prick" maybe?

[0+] Author Profile Page JesiDangerously replied to Jjuliaava :

Why are you putting so many random words in all caps?

And WHERE did YOU read that on FEMINISTING? PLEASE tell me BECAUSE I would really LIKE to know.

[0+] Author Profile Page Claudia said:

But guys, his lyrics in "Waiting on the World to Change" *WERE* trenchant. Don't you all know a deep political song when you hear one? And of course it's not hypocritical to deflect questions about politics and then casually state lyrics in your upcoming album were political. My ONLY complaint with the interview was that I wanted her to go after him for that one!


GREGORYABUTLER10031: And IF he decided to threaten a male editor with rape, he'd clearly have to throw in a "No homo" to save his masculinity. Because male = heteronortmative, of course. (Find Brian Safi at Current for more!)

I'm a longtime hip hop head (going back to the days of Run DMC and Kool Moe Dee) so I knew all about "No Homo" six years ago when Juelz Santana coined that homophobic phrase.

Santana, and the crew he performed with, The Diplomats [also known as Dipset] used to wear lavender capes and all pink outfits, on and off stage, and they all drove pink cars.

Apparently, Santana was concerned that his group's fashion and car color choices might make people think he was gay - a prospect which horrified that rather homophobic individual - so he came up with that phrase, so everybody knew he was 10,000% heterosexual!

Perhaps Brian Safi at Current TV should find me - because I knew all about "No Homo" years before he did!

[0+] Author Profile Page Claudia said:

But guys, his lyrics in "Waiting on the World to Change" *WERE* trenchant. Don't you all know a deep political song when you hear one? And of course it's not hypocritical to deflect questions about politics and then casually state lyrics in your upcoming album were political. My ONLY complaint with the interview was that I wanted her to go after him for that one!


GREGORYABUTLER10031: And IF he decided to threaten a male editor with rape, he'd clearly have to throw in a "No homo" to save his masculinity. Because male = heteronortmative, of course. (Find Brian Safi at Current for more!)

I don't know.... it seems to me he's clearly joking (even if it is a lame joke) - the interview's funny though - I like that he points out that celebrities are ridiculous people to ask about politics.

I'm not surprised he's an asshole. I'm so sick of people assuming that musicians who make soft music are sophisticated, deep, and thoughtful. When someone makes soft music, the only thing you should assume is that they probably aren't skilled enough to make faster and more complex music. I mean compare John Mayer to System of a Down or Iron Maiden. Mayer's music is idiotic.

He's found a gimmick and an easy way to make money. Some who makes music like that clearly doesn't respect his fans. I don't think it's even a little bit surprising that he's a douche, doesn't respect women, can't articulate an opinion about serious issues, and can't even be bothered to do a one decent interview.

As far as the soft music goes, I'll make an exception for Tracy Chapman though, she's really, really good.

[0+] Author Profile Page Cicada Nymph said:

He sounds like such an arrogant condescending asshole in this interview that it makes me cringe. The interviewer answered the questions that he refused to answer when she asked him and then he attacks her for her answers. When he says "i love you, you're beautiful but shut your fucking mouth" I wanted to punch him. Just because you are famous and the person asking you questions is a "lowly reporter" doesn't give you the right to be rude. The combination of the arrogance and the disrespect and the not funny joke/threat of sexual violence reminds me of an arrogant jerk I knew who thought he was brilliant and who once told me that if his girlfriend got raped he would dump her because she would be "damaged goods" and then hit on me.

[0+] Author Profile Page ebetty said:

i'm not sure this is worth a post......

[0+] Author Profile Page Alexis said:

It wasn't so much the forced sodomy bit as the rest of the interview that made him look like a douchecanoe. That particular answer, in my opinion, is the LEAST offensive thing he may have said. He was mean an patronizing and demeaning to the interviewer the WHOLE INTERVIEW, especially the bit where he said "You're beautiful, love you, but shut your fucking mouth."

Now I'll admiIt, I'm a John Mayer fan. I won several of his albums. What can I say? I like the guy's music. But I didn't realize he was this much of an asshole. He really does seem kind of...inebriated during this interview, though. No smart celebrity would put THAT bad of a face forward to the public if they knew what was good for them.

Actually, the rape threat was the most douchebaggish part of the post - although he was a prize winning asshole throughout the rest of the interview as well.

And the funny thing is, I never even heard of this jackass before reading this post!

Is he famous or something?

If so, where, and with whom?

Based on his arrogant braying and verbal abuse, you'd think he was a superstar like Elton John or David Bowie or something!

But, of course, a real star would be classy enough to politely answer the reporter's questions - and, of course, would NOT make rape threats to the reporter's editor!

The irony is, one day, there won't be any reporters for this nimrod to insult and threaten with rape, because he'll go back to being a total nobody - I hope somebody explained that to this dude!

[0+] Author Profile Page Tinnie said:

*IMPORTANT QUESTION TO ALL FEMINIST READERS*

Srry, I didn't have time to post this question last night as a post, but in my speech class we have to tell a quick speech about THREE things we would change about the opposite gender (men)
What would you choose?
I want to take this opportunity for the feminist cause :)

[0+] Author Profile Page Juli replied to Tinnie :

Personally, I think that society shapes people. So I wouldn't change men, I would change society. That being said, it would just be really, really nice if the sense of entitlement/persecution were dropped. I swear I've spoken to so many guys that think they either A) deserve something simply for being male or B) think that they are being persecuted for being male (see reverse-sexism, puh-lease).

And there's the inferiority thing. Guys think that women can't drive/play sports/do math, you name it.

[0+] Author Profile Page Toongrrl said:

Who is he? Why is he famous?

That's what I was trying to figure out!

He just seems like some random rude sexist asshole with a bloated ego and a mean streak a mile wide.

[0+] Author Profile Page vegkitty said:

I really wish he'd stop doing interviews. I love his music, but his personality just ruins it.

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