Jonathan Escobar, a former student at North Cobb High School, was told by the assistant principal to dress more "manly," or consider being home schooled. This was on Jonathan's third day of school.
Escobar said the assistant principal told him his style of dress had caused a fight..."You can't wear clothing that causes a disruption," said Jay Dillon, spokesman for Cobb County schools.
...Jonathan Escobar says he wasn't a disruption in the classroom, but he attracted attention in the lunchroom. "Everybody was surrounding me," he said.
On his second day of school, Escobar says he was pulled out of class to speak with a police officer who told him he was concerned about the student's safety.
"They should've told the students to back off," Escobar said. "They should have never given me the option of homeschooling or changing who I am."
Sounds like actual disruption were, you know, the students who were harassing Jonathan.
Escobar says, "If I can't express myself, I won't go to school...I want to get the message out there that because this is who I am, I can't get an education."
Also frustrating: Escobar says explicitly, "I don't consider myself a cross-dresser...this is just who I am," yet most news videos and articles covering this story refer to Jonathan as a cross-dresser.
To join the Facebook group supporting Jonathan, please click here.
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Im pretty sure this is quite illegal if this is a public school. Children even with severe disabilities are required, by law, to be included in the classroom. This kid doesn't even have a problem, he just dresses differently.
Also, whats up with that "Luke" guy on tv? Why is he allowed to look like that and not Jonathan?
That was on tv. Or the video. I'm dumb
While I feel for the kid, he would be causing a disruption, and, by school definition, he is cross-dressing, both of which are against most public schools' policies.
Is this right? No, of course not.
Is it still against the rules? Yes.
Should the kids harassing him be punished? Yes, they broke the rules, too.
But the fact is, if he wants to dress against school policy, he will get in trouble, and he will be asked to consider homeschooling.
Some rules are meant to be broken. Some rules only change when broken flamboyantly.
Yes, he's breaking a rule but you act as if the only option is to either give-in or stay home. The whole point of bringing this to the attention of the media is to pressure the school into changing it's unfair dress code (which you admit is not right). School rules are hardly written in stone.
I think the students who decided to make comments and fight the other students who were defending Jonathan were the ones being disruptive. If they can't control themselves then clearly they are the ones with the problem.
It's okay to punish him because he's causing a disruption when all he's doing is dressing "feminine" (and fashionably I might add!) instead of "masculine"? Seriously? Maybe it's just me, but your argument sounds dangerously close to rape apology arguments. I mean, just check this out:
SOMEWHERE IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE-
While I feel for the chick, she would be causing a disruption, and, by school definition, she is dressing immodestly, both of which are against most public schools' policies.
Is this right? No, of course not.
Is it still against the rules? Yes.
Should the kids who sexually assaulted her be punished? Yes, they broke the rules, too.
But the fact is, if she wants to dress against school policy, she will get in trouble, and she will be asked to consider homeschooling.
Huh? Come again? Schools forever have had, and should have, policies against dressing immodestly. Immodest dress has nothing to with, and is not a defense of, rape. They are wholly unrelated.
Now, I would hardly call this kid dressing immodestly. I support this kid's right to identify as a woman if that's what he wants to do. If so, he should just say it, and then perhaps he could make a legal argument with the school.
If he's doing this as just some sort of 'performance art' experiment, however, that's entirely different & the school shouldn't have to go along with it...Hopefully his big sister will stick up for him. I hate to see him go down without a fight.
The actual language of the article is, "[students should] refrain from any mode of dress which proves to contribute to any disruption of school functions." PROVES to contribute. So it's the actual disruption that proves that the clothes are disruptive.
By that logic, if I don't like someone, I can pick a fight with them and say it's because of what they were wearing, and then they won't be allowed to wear it anymore. How is that fair?
He's not really causing a disruption; I'm sure there are many, many girls in his school who wear flashier and more dramatic clothes than he. I mean, look at his clothes, and look at the attire of kids in a public school near you- nobody's clothes are normally un-attention-whoring, because thats what alot of people dress for. And this kid is just wearing normal clothing, its simply his gender which is the "problem" here.
I have a friend who used to attend North Cobb. Ze is organizing other alums to do letter writing to the principal.
I joined the support page on Facebook. It usually seems like a good idea to draw as much attention to injustices as possible. People who are doing wrong don't like attention. Maybe if a bunch of us join, they'll get the hint and reverse their school policies.
This makes me so glad I was a butch girl instead of a femme boy. When I was little, I was terrified of being in situations where I would be forced to wear gendered clothing... I always felt extremely uncomfortable being forced to wear a dress/the feminine clothes my mom used to try to compromise with me for formal events. The vast majority of the time, though, it was never an issue because no one looks twice when a girl wears jeans and combat boots, and even when I lived in backwoods Kentucky, no one looked twice if I showed up to a job interview in slacks and a nice shirt with a tie instead of a skirt. But woe to the boy who wants to express his feminine side...
More power to you, Jonathan. Kick ass.
I think it's really interesting that he's getting in trouble for wearing the same clothes young women are allowed to wear. Either he's violating the dress code, or he's not, but if he is, then all the women that wear the same types of clothes are also violating the dress code. I would think that gendered dress codes could be considered grounds for discrimination suits.
He could only sue for discrimination if his state had a law against gender identity discrimination. Not many do as of yet, and there is no national law either. That's why we need to pass ENDA.
I think it's really interesting that he's getting in trouble for wearing the same clothes young women are allowed to wear. Either he's violating the dress code, or he's not, but if he is, then all the women that wear the same types of clothes are also violating the dress code. I would think that gendered dress codes could be considered grounds for discrimination suits.
I joined the group and invited all of my supportive friends.
My favorite part of all this is to look at comments on places like AOL.com about this story and see how many people start quoting the bible on why he shouldn't be dressed like that. Because, you know, he's going to hell for wearing a blouse and I guess I'm going to hell for wear blue jeans. They make me lol.
I'm gonna join his support group. Rock on, Jonathan!
Damn, I wish I had his fashion sense!
They're just jealous/homophobic cuz he looks so good!
That seems demeaning to me, to say something like that. It's not about fashion, it's about being who you feel you are without a very real fear of violence.
I know. Please forgive. ;_;
It occurs to me that the same argument could (and I think has) be used to support separating boys and girls into separate classes.
What really bugs me about this is that it's all being put on Johnathan. What about the kids making a fuss about it? Shouldn't we be teaching them to be civilized? Instead, the administration is validating their response to his clothing by saying he's the one who needs to change. Man, I don't want to know what they'll be like once they graduate and hit the real world...
Exactly. I feel like this is a lot like the many problems women face when it comes to harassment or even sexual assault. You hear things like "Sure, it's never RIGHT to rape, but did you SEE what kind of skirt she was wearing?" It's the same sort of shit over and over again. "Boys will be boys!" and other BS will be said in defense of people who choose to be intolerant assholes, and then the ones who are being discriminated against are expected to change. I can't tell if this is because we don't have enough faith in humanity and assume that people are going to be nasty no matter what, or if it's because the people in power are just fine with the status quo where it puts people like Jonathan in tight places with little to no options... My money's on the latter.
His behavior was causing a disruption, as was the behavior of the kids who were harassing him. Typically, when students behave in a way that causes a disruption, they are either ordered to stop, or are punished. Why should cross-dressers have special rights?
No, the close-minded kids who felt the need to fight him caused the disruption. Heaven forbid they be taught to respect other people and learn *not* to fight over someone's clothing choices depending on their sex or gender identity... Do we really need to have this discussion? Seriously? XD
If I wore a halloween costume to school, would you say that it was everyone else's fault for being distracted by my choice of clothing? The other students were seriously bothering him, and I'm not approving of that. But dressing that bizarrely is going to cause a distraction one way or another.
If a female student would not get reprimanded for wearing the same thing as him, then he shouldn't be punished. There was a disruption because the kid insulted him over his nongender conforming attire at lunchtime. Also, if his clothing was disruptive in the same vein as a halloween costume, he would have been called out on it upon entering the classroom, but he wasn't.
Men and women are supposed to have the same rights in principle. It is impossible for men and women to have identical rights, since they are biologically different. Both genders have the right to dress like their respective genders.
how kind of you to explain what rights people have! laters.
Well, we'd both agree that men and women can't have identical rights. It's physically and logically impossible. Imagine if we tried to say that men and women should have identical rights in terms of whether or not their children were killed within the first nine months of their existence. I don't see how that was a discriminatory thing to say - I'm just pointing out the obvious here.
What is it with anti-choicers who want to turn every discussion into one about abortion?
I went to a protest against Bush's Social Security "Reform" a couple of years ago when he visited Little Rock. We were all holding signs saying "hands off Social Security" and there was a group of people with the pictures of fetuses yelling "Abortion is murder!"
Go troll in the cupcake thread.
I wasn't trying to discuss abortion, I was just using it as an example of a place where you all would agre that men and women cannot have identical rights. I wasn't trying to derail the thread, or start an argument about abortion. I was just proving my point.
Men have the same abortion rights as women, they just tend not to get pregnant as often. Trans men have the right to choose and if bio men can get pregnant in the future they will too. So no, you didn't prove a point. If the clothing is permitted for the young women, it should be permitted for the young men.
It depends on how you word it. You'd say "men and women both have the right to abort their offspring if it's in their body", just as I would say "men and women both have the right to dress like their respective gender".
Actually, the analogy isn't so bad, but you came to the wrong conclusion.
A man cannot control what a woman does with her body, i.e. carry or abort a pregnancy. A woman cannot control what a man does with his body, such as get a vasectomy.
Just as you have bodily autonomy and can decide what is best for your body inside and out, this teenager should be allowed the same bodily autonomy and decide what is best for his body inside and out, including what he wears.
The only rule I can think of that this teen might be breaking that would apply to females as well would be wearing wigs and hats. My school had some strong issues with hair that wasn't strongly attached to ones head, whether by roots, glue, or weaved in. Hats just goes without saying.
I did look at that outfit and think-- it's not the gender play that's distracting, it's that HAT! I can see school officials freaking out about anyone wearing a hat like that in their halls... and I want a hat like that.
The two have nothing to do with one another, but the proper analogy would be an anti-choicer saying, "You have a right to continue your pregnancy" when that's the ONLY option they want to allow women. Because what you're really saying is, men and women MUST dress as their respective genders. It's not a question of what people have a right to do in that case, it's a question of what you're claiming they DON'T have the right to do - i.e., dress in a gender non-conforming way. You're not advocating choice, period.
Why don't you explain to me the "biological differences" that dictate that a male MUST wear a suit from the men's department, and not a suit from the women's? Give me one good reason why a man only has a RIGHT to wear pants, other than the fact that you just think that's how it should be. Particularly when there is actually no magical universal standard for male/female clothing and there are men in other countries for whom unbifurcated garments - kilts, robes, caftans - are perfectly acceptable.
I do think that people should dress as their respective genders. And no, I'm not advocating for individual choice here. Why would I?
There are no biological differences between men and women that dictate exactly how they must dress differently. But in virtually every culture, there are differences between the way that men and women dress. People should respect those differences because disregarding them is distracting, and makes people feel uncomfortable. Any reasonable person would feel awkward and uncomfortable around someone who dressed like the opposite sex (or bizarrely at all), unless they had taught themselves not to be. So people are completely justified in feeling that way, because it's natural to. It's like feeling awkward around someone who wears a halloween costume. Completely normal and completely justified.
One person insists on dressing bizarrely, and dozens more are not only distracted, but justifiably feel uncomfortable around it. I'm a utilitarian on this one.
No, YOU'RE distracted. YOU'RE uncomfortable. YOU have an arbitrary idea of what people should look like and are upset when people don't fit it. That's your problem. You don't get to determine that all "reasonable people" agree with you, because they don't. I think a reasonable person should be capable of not freaking out because they see someone dressed in a way THEY don't like, the same way people miraculously refrain from freaking out when someone has a lot of tattoos or dyed hair or anything else that distinguishes them from the crowd. You're also actually not "justified" in pushing your prejudices off on other people.
As cattrack said below, with your logic women wouldn't be allowed to wear pants at all. It should also, according to you, really bother people that both men and women wear unisex stuff like jeans and t-shirts. And hint: it wasn't culturally accepted and "unisex" until both sexes started wearing those things, because they wanted to, and they ignored people who whined about how girls "dressing like guys" was OMG soooo distraactiiing! Ditto for men with long hair, and endless other fashion fluctuations that made people throw fits like the world was ending and actually did not matter one bit.
What makes you think men and women are opposites, and that there are only 2 genders?
basic common sense
Um, except for the fact that those people that feel awkward and uncomfortable have the right to demand that the person stifles who they are for their comfort?
You're advocating forcing a set of standards on someone that they don't agree with. It may make other people uncomfortable to see them, but SO WHAT? Are you seriously advocating taking away their right of self-expression? Have you not considered how uncomfortable THEY feel when they are forced to BE SOMEONE THEY'RE NOT? Using this line of logic, I could conclude that as a Buddhist it makes me extremely uncomfortable to ever see someone carrying a rosary. So let's just ban rosaries, problem solved!
I can't believe someone would really say the things you are and honestly mean them.
UD Conservative, are you distracted by women in trousers? How about women in blazers? How about women with short hair? How about women who don't wear makeup? Women in flat shoes?
Your argument is ridiculous. Gender is different from sex. No one here is disputing the physical differences between penises and vaginas. Gender norms exist because PEOPLE MADE THEM UP. Just as the definitions and usages of words can change and, dare I say, EVOLVE, over time (I'm thinking of a word that starts with "m" and rhymes with "carriage"...), so can the definition of what men and women (and everyone in between -- yes, that's right!) can and "should" wear.
Get a freaking clue.
When someone bans you, it's not an invitation to register using a different username. I'm banning your IP address. Now kindly fuck off.
Hi Jessica-
As off base as I thought they were, I don't think UD Conservative should have been banned for what he/she said on this thread. He/she wasn't curses profusely or threatening anybody, just expressing a contrary (and I think stupid) point of view.
Maybe He/she said something really egregious that I didn't see, on another thread or something. But I don't think he/she deserved to be banned for what he/she said in this discussion.
Thanks
This is a feminist space. The FAQ states the purpose of this site as "to further feminist dialogue in a progressive manner." Saying that people who don't dress according to traditional gender norms are "bizarre" and that bigotry against them is justified because they're just so weird is NOT doing that, and it makes this a hostile space for everyone who's gender nonconforming or just doesn't adhere to antiquated ideas about gender roles. We should not have to be derailed by 101 level arguments and fake science in every single thread. Also, anyone who goes out of their way to wedge in a completely off-topic reference to abortion as "killing children" is not commenting in good faith.
It is a feminist space but it's also a political blog. A number of comments have made the point that UD Conservative is basing his argument on false science, and I think most people who care to come here will agree with that criticism.
I've been personally offended by quite a few comments on this blog. I'm a rape survivor how deals with her pain by joking about it and the categorical condemnation of rape-themed jokes has made me very uncomfortable. But I don't think those people should be banned, because I know their addressing the issue as a subject, not trying to attack me and my personal way of dealing with trauma.
When you post a story about a transgendered person, you open that subject up for (respectful) discussion and debate.
UD Conservative got his ass handed to him in that free discussion so I think it was unnecessary to ban him.
I agree: the point is, it's a distraction. S/He's obviously just here to argue and drag down the level of discourse, regardless of whether they do it articulately or not, and people across the internets will ALWAYS take the bait, so I think it is productive to ban that kind of "mild" troll.
With that kind of stunning logic, Nedved, women would still be dressing like Little House on the Prairie...Bet you'd hate to see women give up those hot jeans, huh? Especially the one's that wink at you when she walks??? LOL...
And gendered dressing was sent down from on high? Who the hell decided what guys and gals could wear? There are cultures in which there aren't gendered clothing, and others in which men wear skirts.
Also? Biology does not equal gender.
Your comparison of 'boy wearing nontradional gender appropriate clothing = students in halloween costumes' really reminded me of the age old 'gay marriage will pave the way for bestiality and pedophilia' argument.
Of course there are some things that shouldn't be allowed! But again, if *some* students are allowed to wear something, *all* of the students should be allowed to wear it. I mean, how weird would it be if girls weren't allowed to wear pants?! Oh right... it used to be like that until enough people complained about how ridiculous it was.
I think I can assume this commenter is a troll, but the point still needs to be made.
"But dressing that bizarrely is going to cause a distraction one way or another."
It is only bizarre because a hetero-normative, gender binary obsessed culture has made it seem that way. His dress is not just acceptable or a right he deserves- it is normal. One day we'll finally be able to accept that society's disapproval does not inherently make something abnormal and "bizarre."
I've already written in the post that Jonathan doesn't identify as a crossdresser, so please refrain from identifying him as such. Being yourself without being harassed or threatened with expulsion isn't a "special" right.
Sorry... my reading comprehension isn't that great today
The way they decide who is "causing" the disruption in schools is really problematic, though.
If someone went to school wearing a cross and was harassed for it, the students doing the harassing would be punished.
If someone went to school wearing, say, something identifiably muslim or hindi, they would be asked to change what they were wearing or be punished.
Actually, I got in trouble for wearing my cross necklace to school once, but the Muslim boy in my class was allowed to leave and go into the hallway when it was prayer time for him. Which do you think was more disruptive, my jewelry or his prayer? Anyways though that is beside the point. He has the right to wear whatever he wants and the school cannot say that it is against dress code unless it specifically says that guys cannot wear girls clothes and girls cannot wear guys clothes. The only time they are allowed to say anything about clothing being disruptive is if it disrupts class. Which it clearly didn't since something wasn't said to him until lunch time, which at least where I am from is considered a free period where learning is not the objective
Rebekah--You got disciplined for wearing a crucifix? Was this in the US??? Sorry for the derail but that just seems otherworldly. I mean unless you were doing your best impression of Madonna on tour...
yes I am in the US. I know that it sounds strange but my school is really big on the whole religious tolerance thing aka "as long as you are not a christian it is okay, if you are a christian then you better not show it in any way shape or form, and if you do then you will be punished for it. They don't care as long as you are not a christian
Usually, Nedved, its the one's who pick a fight that get reprimanded, not the one's getting picked on.
So by reprimanding the kid what they're really doing is setting up a false moral equivalence, because in reality there's never a defense for picking a fight.
Usually, Nedved, its the one's who pick a fight that get reprimanded, not the one's getting picked on.
Really not true actually. Many school districts have adopted a zero tolerance policy when it comes to physical altercations of any sort. I find it bizarre and ridiculous, but there it is.
This is awful,I hope he doesn't have to stay back a grade because of this.
And just why the fuck would someone's prayer disrupt class because they happen to be Muslim? Neither wearing a cross nor praying should disrupt anyone.
This is awful,I hope he doesn't have to stay back a grade because of this.
And just why the fuck would someone's prayer disrupt class because they happen to be Muslim? Neither wearing a cross nor praying should disrupt anyone.
Threads like this make me want to pull my hair out.
An editor here at Feministing posts a story or link designed to call attention to an injustice or raise awareness about an issue - in this case a boy being unjustly treated on the basis of fucked-up and antiquated notions of gender presentation- and the trolls, derailers, devils advocates et al. swarm around like flies.
The same thing happened on the blackface thread. Somehow after 40 or so posts, a bunch of people clearly at least functional enough to utilize a computer and get online can't agree that blackface is offensive and instead choose to bicker back and forth about whether posters are demonstrating American chauvinism by not fully understanding the Australian context in which this lovely performance took place.
Of course there is room for legitimate and sincere disagreement by well-meaning folks - but the sheer preponderance of trolls on some threads just feel make me feel like I'm living under a bridge.
I'm sorry that you're so intolerant of opposing viewpoints. Unlike people who dress like members of the opposite sex, there is nothing justified in being intolerant of differing beliefs. I'm certainly not intolerant of yours.
Oh, and about the "blackface" thing.. for what it's worth, that is offensive. Extremely offensive.
I'm sorry you're so intolerant of people who dress like members of the opposite sex, and a huge hypocrite in the bargain.
So far you've done nothing but express intolerance for those different from you, and then say that oh, *your* intolerance is justified, because those other people with differing dress habits are WRONG.
well played. So now I'm the one who is intolerant because I am frustrated that, in a forum devoted to feminist activism, readers are consistently confronted with intentionally anti-feminist diatribes.
There is very little room here (on a feminist blog!) for opposing viewpoint. This issue is so obviously wrong that any attempts to say it isn't is derailing because it distracts the thread from discussion on the origins of this thought, the overall effects the issue has on our culture, how our perceptions play into it, etc..
Talking about whether he deserves to go to school dressed like that or not? If you think he should be banned from dressing in a way that allows him to express who he truly is (even though plenty of butch girls can get away with that... This is sexism affecting men negatively in this case - which we should fight) then really you shouldn't be here.
I'm sure. But I really don't know what we're going to do here then. If we're both so confident in our own ideoologies that we both refuse to talk to people who disagree, we're never going to make any progress. Maybe we can both agree to be open-minded?
No, the only reason I have to come to that conclusion is because your opinion on its own is the one that so close-minded it really seems like there is no helping you.
I am open-minded to opposing positions, but your position is so discriminatory and flat out immoral that there is absolutely no use discussing it with you.
"I'm sorry that you're so intolerant of opposing viewpoints."
I know this won't be helpful to the discussion and rather immature, but I feel that I just can't keep this in:
Bitch, please.
Welcome to what happens on every thread about the communities I'm a member of. The queer or non gender conforming or trans or POC or people with disabilities just need to shut up, because apparently we don't matter.
We don't don't matter because we make you uncomfortable. You think you are enlightened, but you're not. When some points out your privilege, you balk and try to deny it.
(That's a general you)
I absolutely HATE what the reporter says at the beginning. I'm surprised I didn't stop the video there.
I'm sure after dropping out he isn't JUST sitting around and watching TV at home. I'm sure there's some homeschooling options. Even if there isn't, I'm sure he's at least trying to come up with something after the mainstream education system failed to give him an education. I'm sure dressing up more feminine isn't his only interest. It's hard to be a high school dropout and still have a normal lifestyle, but there's always that possibility of becoming something greater.
Seriously, there are some dumb shits who go through college and don't take ANYTHING out of it. They just go and make sure they at least "pass". Passing isn't enough to survive in these tough economic times. Passing isn't being successful in life, it's being mediocre.
Ultimately this just seems to highlight the thought that it's okay to desire masculinity, but god forbid you desire femininity. God forbid you WANT to be like a woman. That seems to me the reason why this is such a scandal in comparison to a girl dressing in a more masculine fashion.
Go Jonathan!
I kind of suprised how ugly this thread has gotten, considering this is a feminist blog. It seemed inarguable to me that Jonathan has suffered injustice at the hands of the school. I guess that just shows how far we have to go...
It would be interesting to see the female students at this school stage a protest by dressing up in conventionally "masculine" clothing for a day. Would they be called out too?
Sorry about the troll folks. Someone I banned re-registered under a different name, the sneaky asshole. All cleaned up now.
As a 2004 graduate of North Cobb High School in Kennesaw, GA, I am saddened by this but not surprised. I remember in my time there, an incident where an unpopular "gothy" kid wore a skirt and heels and got suspended for it. That same year, one of the more spirited, golden-boys of the school wore a cheerleader's outfit for homecoming week and it was all "ha-ha, how clever!"
Even at the school I teach at now in a conservative small town in rural NC tolerates a male student who wears female clothing. They even let him on the cheerleader squad as a "female" member. This whole debacle is just sad, shameful, and embarrassing.
What makes me equally sad is people saying since his dress caused the disruption in the sense of a fight seems to justify this discrimination. No, what caused the fight is that one student's hate speech and another student reacting in an inappropriate manned. NOT Johnathon's attire.
Why can't we have a safe place at all to vent and discuss inequality without some trolls parading on here and creating hostility for entertainment?! I encourage moderators to take out the trash to keep the place from smelling foul.
Wow! That is unbelievable.. so much for individuality. Where were the teachers? They should of been stepping in and telling the kids to back off. That probably would of made it a less bigger issue then what it has turned into. They should have programs or something to teach kids to accept ppl for who they are not what they wear!
Wow! That is unbelievable.. so much for individuality. Where were the teachers? They should of been stepping in and telling the kids to back off. That probably would of made it a less bigger issue then what it has turned into. They should have programs or something to teach kids to accept ppl for who they are not what they wear!
Wow! That is unbelievable.. so much for individuality. Where were the teachers? They should of been stepping in and telling the kids to back off. That probably would of made it a less bigger issue then what it has turned into. They should have programs or something to teach kids to accept ppl for who they are not what they wear!
Wow! That is unbelievable.. so much for individuality. Where were the teachers? They should of been stepping in and telling the kids to back off. That probably would of made it a less bigger issue then what it has turned into. They should have programs or something to teach kids to accept ppl for who they are not what they wear!