Anti-choice cupcakes!
I don't know what tickles me more, cupcakes that say "Abortion Kills" in icing or this telling excerpt from the site's FAQs:
Q.) What if I run into a pro-choicer and they smash the cupcakes in my face?A.) Wipe the cake off your face and share the rest of them with someone less angry inside. Go with courage and go with love, the unborn need you to be their voice.
Note to self: Rethink cupcake smashing agenda. They're onto us.
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Damn it, someone gave away the secret Cupcake Smash Counterattack Plan.
That whole FAQ is hilarious. I think my favorite line might be: "If you don't know why you are pro-life do a little research online." Is that for the many people out there who will use any excuse to make cupcakes and don't care what the reason is supposed to be?
The website tells students to go against their school's rules and "be quick about it" and then apologize (insincerely) later. Not only is this completely prohibited in CA, LAUSD, and probably many other areas, but it's dangerous (who knows what's in the cupcakes, allergies, diabetes, etc.) which is why we have these rules in the first place! Way to teach the youngin's by telling them to ignore rules and laws to go out of their way, get themselves in trouble, offend people, trigger people, potentially harm people, and lie! This is the "moral" majority?!?
Curses! I knew they were onto our nefarious plan to fight for our evil radical socialist agenda of big government and mandatory abortion coverage.
Dilemma!
I love cupcakes! I'm pro-choice! What should I do if offered a lovely anti-choice confection?
Maybe I would say, "Thanks! That abortion I just had made me so hungry. Now I will have enough energy to go have lots of sex, get pregnant again, and have another one!"
Or, "Great! I can't take the RU 486 pill on an empty stomach!"
Hmm. I hope I come across some of these protesters. I'm really craving a cupcake now.
Considering the one pictured says "Thou Shall Not Murder" I would have no qualms about eating it.
Abortion =/= Murder
That's what I was thinking. I could eat a "thou shall [sic] not murder" cupcake, I'm down with not murdering people.
I was once at some sort of school club fair, and one of the booths was for some pro-life group. They were giving out really good chocolate, and the guy looked at us and offered us some chocolate, and I thought about it for a second and then said something like "even for really good chocolate I couldn't pretend to be anti-choice."
Curses! I knew they were onto our nefarious plan to fight for our evil radical socialist agenda of big government and mandatory abortion coverage.
Wait, but isn't the whole point of giving out the cupcakes to people who disagree with you?
And if not, aren't you just left with celebrating abortions? I mean, obviously you are eating the unborn's cupcake! How mean!
Go with courage and go with love, the unborn need you to be their voice.
Oh for fuck's sake. As a CASA guardian ad litem, this wording makes me angry. Know who REALLY needs you to be their voice? The abused and neglected kids whose families are in the family court systems across the country. Stop with the fucking cupcake making and go volunteer for a worthy organization. We always need more people.
Curses! I knew they were onto our nefarious plan to fight for our evil radical socialist agenda of big government and mandatory abortion coverage.
Curses! I knew they were onto our nefarious plan to fight for our evil radical socialist agenda of big government and mandatory abortion coverage.
"What if an Anti-Choicer pukes up my cupcakes?"
Curses! I knew they were onto our nefarious plan to fight for our evil radical socialist agenda of big government and mandatory abortion coverage.
I think that we should counter their plan and make cupcakes that say "Yum! Cupcakes!"
Other favorite suggestions for high school students:
"Hand the cupcakes out with plastic baby fetus's [sic], they normally come at the size of a 11 week baby which is the age and size of the average abortion.
Hand them the cupcakes and ask people if they would like to see what an abortion looks like."
The proper response is, "Oh! Don't worry: I'll know soon enough," and then pull out a coat hanger and wink.
Fight propaganda with snark.
Pro life cupcakes on the GROUND!
Happy Birthday to the ground!
Ha, SNL reference-- SNL is still relevant!
I'm not a part of this system.
a whole website about abortion cupcakes....
Ever so appetizing!
Well, of COURSE pro-choicers number one method of attack is to smash cupcakes in pro-lifers faces...that's how all wars should be fought.
It's the pro-lifers methods of attacks that I worry about. I bet the Planned Parenthood hadbook has a similar FAQ - i.e., "What if I run into a pro-lifer and they threaten to shoot me in the face?"
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with delicious treats."
holy crap, I can't stop laughing!
That one should have a NAFW disclaimer!
Okay, that FAQ made me spit out my Snapple all over my screen. I was NOT expecting that hahahahaha
If someone offered me an anti-abortion cupcake I'd decline and say I don't eat chicken (ok, I do, but they don't know that). I'll let them puzzle on that for a while.
haha, I had to think hard about this one, but I finally figured it out. hilarious, love it! Thx Mighty Ponygirl.
I am storing all these delicious retort ideas in my brain for any possible cupcake escapades I may run into :)
Bring in a tray of cupcakes for any group of people and you will find that they will flock to get them. As soon as they take a bite they will probably ask, "Who's birthday is it?"
Then you answer. "It's no ones birthday. These cupcakes represent the 50,000,000 children who weren't allowed to be born, who never had a birthday." The cake in their mouth will become dry and the moment will hopefully become quite somber. Then you say, "If you and I were aborted we wouldn't have a birthday party either."
Then they reply, "And if all those children hadn't been aborted, we wouldn't be enjoying these delicious cupcakes."
I realize I wasn't specific, but I was quoting from their website.
Haha; "Mmm I'm all for abortion if they mean we get these delicious cupcakes! Thanks!"
Who brings in 50 million cupcakes to work. Seriously. Who does that.
i don't know, but wherever they work, i need to freakin' work there, too.
they forgot that i can't distribute propaganda if i ate it. next time, they should make a sign out of blood sausage or something similarly inedible so it would have some staying power. but no cupcake is safe in my presence, even anti-choice ones. maybe the icing will rearrange itself into saying "abortion ROCKS!" in my stomach. we'll never know.
The more time wasted making 50 million cupcakes, the less time spent harrassing women getting pap smears.
Well, it's not quite cupcake fail, but they do need a lesson in archaic grammar. Thou shalt, not thou shall. Gotta get these things right!
I've got to send that to Cake Wrecks!
The cupcake is a lie.
The cupcake is a lie.
damn it. where is the "delete post" button on this website
Why do all the aborted fetuses get cupcakes in their honour? What about all the kids who don't get to celebrate a birthday due to malnutrition, easily preventable sickness, or lack of access to clean water??
Oh, I forgot. They don't have cupcakes where that happens; those kids don't matter.
This was probably the first day in my entire life I was happy that I didn't get any free cupcakes.
Forgot to add, for more lulz, read the rest of the website. It includes gems such as:
"The website: Abort73.com is a great place to start."
"Cupcakes were designed for children's birthday parties. We love Children and we love birthdays. We think this would be a good way to tell people that we think that every child should be allowed to have a birthday.
Bring in a tray of cupcakes for any group of people and you will find that they will flock to get them. As soon as they take a bite they will probably ask, "Who's birthday is it?"
Then you answer. "It's no ones birthday. These cupcakes represent the 50,000,000 children who weren't allowed to be born, who never had a birthday." The cake in their mouth will become dry and the moment will hopefully become quite somber. Then you say, "If you and I were aborted we wouldn't have a birthday party either.""
I like to counter that kind of thing with "if my parents had never had sex, I wouldn't have a birthday either! So now I'm going to go pressure some teenagers into having sex, to save all their potential childrens' birthdays. Want to help?"
Blasphemy! There is nothing in this world worse than abusing the pure and delicious nature of the almighty Cupcake as a medium for proselytizing. I would eat them just to put the poor things out of their misery :(
(Dammit, now I'm hungry. Anyone want to make pastries?)
"What's worse than being in third grade, and no one celebrating your birthday?
Not being allowed to be born!"
BAHAHAHAHAHA, what a ridiculous statement.
Yah. I started to make a list in my head of all the other things that were also worse than 3rd-grade-birthday-neglect and also worse than 'not being allowed to be born', but it made me cry.
Wow! Those! FAQs! Have! A! Lot! Of! Exclamation! Marks!
last night, I had a dream somebody gave me one of these cupcakes. I'm not even safe from anti-choice protesters in my sleep!
The Lifists are giving out cupcakes?
Your move Choicists, what've you got to offer?
Awesome sex. Duh.
Orgasms > Cupcakes.
Yes, but I have faith in the cupcake's existence and availability. I'm even fairly confident that the Lifers will give me a cupcake the moment I sign up. I've voted for Choicers down the line in 4 elections now, so where's this great awesome sexy sex ?
Strike that, I don't care anymore. I just found out that Natalie Portman supports raping 13-year-olds, and I've given up on women entirely. Not being gay, this means I no longer am interested in the sex.