This weekly Saturday column "Ask Professor Foxy" will regularly contain sexually explicit material. This material is likely not safe for work viewing. The title of the column will include the major topic of the post, so please read the topic when deciding whether or not to read the entire column.
Hello Professor Foxy,
I know I've heard of a lot of women having this problem but I was wondering what you thought about it. Or if it's even a problem.. I guess it's really not.
Anyway, I have inverted nipples and I'm extremely shy about my breasts because of it. Which is a problem, because other than that, I am pretty confident with my body. I just feel embarrassed because I feel like it makes my breasts look strange and I almost always cover them if I'm naked besides the rare once in a while chance that I feel they look normal. Since I have pretty big breasts (34D) I feel that that makes it even more awkward looking. I mean sometimes I feel like they look like craters! (even though that's exaggerating) I'm definitely against plastic surgery so I would probably never get it fixed that way.
I was just wondering if it's normal or how other people feel about having inverted nipples? It also sucks that when a guy can't make my nipples hard they often ignore my breasts during foreplay which is frustrating because that's an area that is actually really sensitive and I don't even want to address the fact that my boobs aren't normal to my boyfriend because I feel like he'd pay more attention to it. Also, I was wondering if many people that have inverted nipples get them pierced and if you would recommend it?
Thank you,
Shy About Inverted Nipples
Hello Shy -
Things are a problem, if they are a problem for you. If a part of your body makes you uncomfortable, it matters.
Both men and women have inverted nipples. Breasts are different on everybody: size, shape, aerola and nipple size, color, heft, etc. Around 20 percent of women have at least one inverted nipple. (That's right, people can have one inverted and one not).
The important thing about this is to claim them. They are a part of you and if you can find them hot others will follow. As a sex educator, people constantly talk to me about the parts of their bodies that they hate. My response is pretty consistent "people are just glad to be in bed with you. No one is judging your body more than you are."
As for guys ignoring your breasts, the only way to get what you want in bed is to ask for it. Move your lover's hands to your breasts and moan. Erect nipples are just one way we have of showing our lovers what we like, our linguistic and verbal cues and how our body moves are equally if not more important.
Some people with inverted nipples do get them pierced and while there are no great studies, for some people this actually does cause the nipple to stand out even after the piercing is removed. If you decide to go this route, I would carefully choose a piercer who has experience piercing inverted nipples. Call around and find someone who will answer your questions honestly. Piercing causes scar tissue to form and this may impact your sensitivity (for better or worse) or your ability to breastfeed (if you want to have children and breast feed).
I would try the owning route first. See how it feels to try and love and accepting your body as is and projecting that to lovers. Give it time and see if you can start to truly love what you have.
Best,
Professor Foxy
If you have a question for Professor Foxy, send it to ProfessorFoxyATfeministingDOTcom.
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Totally agreed on loving your body.
Several sites also suggest daily manual stimulation or the regular use of a nipple protractor (a large syringe with the needle removed) to encourage inverted nipples to turn outward.
According to the La Leche League, (and anecdotal evidence from my friends), there is little to no evidence that nipple piercings prevent breastfeeding.
http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVJunJul99p64.html
Can't believe I'm admitting this in the comments but solidarity is important, right? I too have inverted nipples and they've caused me a lot of grief. Nothing like having a hookup in high school tell you that your boobs are "really weird" to cement an insecurity...
They syringe thing didn't really work for me and it's a lot of damn trouble. You could not pay me to have my nipples pierced. Period.
I've just told my former boyfriends before the bra comes off that my nipples are inverted and I feel insecure about it. That way they don't have to ask about it later (awkward) and it makes me feel better. I know it's not a sexy conversation and when someone suggested that I deal with it this way for the first time I was convinced that I was just going to end up with more men telling me how weird my boobs are. But they didn't. The consensus has been that a boob is a boob regardless of the condition of the nipple.
Great advice Professor Foxy! There's no reasons for us innies to be embarrassed. Thanks for reminding us of that!
I have to admit, PF is probably my least favorite part of Feministing, so maybe I'm picking at nits...
But is this figure even close: "Around 20 percent of women have at least one inverted nipple"? Twenty percent? Around one of every five? Does this match anyone's experience -- even with a generous definition of "inversion"?
A quick web search shows me that, yes, this estimate is prevalent, usually presented with a vague range of 10-20% (cf. womenshealth.org). But I have been unable to track this to any source -- and pushing the figure to a flat 20 only increases the problem.
Here's one random survey which gives a figure of 3.26% for congenital nipple inversion, and here's another article that cites an even lower figure of 1.77%. I can't vouch for the journal, itself, which is devoted to research in "Aesthetic Plastic Surgery," but neither can I see why these researchers would have an interest in artificially deflating their figures.
I can understand why one would want to give a concerned writer a feeling that "hey, don't worry, every fifth friend's got at least one." But bad numbers are a bad cure for bad feelings, even when one has good intentions.
One-in-five or one-in-fifty -- still no need to be embarrassed.
So the point of this post was ... what? Because it contributes nothing to the question posted by Shy. If anything, your goal seems to be, "I don't like the Prof. Roxy posts. I'm going to try to find something to complain about."
If you don't like them, that's fine. But you're not doing the OP any favors, you know. Go start a FB group.
OR -- address the question and matter in way that is helpful to Shy.
An "FB Group"? I'll have to go check urbandictionary after I'm done typing this.
But on to your question. How was my post at all helpful to Shy? Perhaps it wasn't. But my point was that it wasn't really "helping" her to present false or misleading numbers. That kind of well-intentioned help isn't really help.
And why would you assume that it would harm Shy in any way to have more -- as opposed to less -- accurate information? If the 4% (or 2%, or 9%) figures are accurate, should she feel worse? Of course not!
I give her more credit than that.
Oh, bull. C'mon -- you really thought pointing out that a statistic of 20% was actually a statistical range of 10-20% was about addressing anything other than your need to poo poo on something you don't like? Because that made such a difference?
I don't think either statistic makes a big friggin' difference in how to help the OP deal with her personal feelings regarding the matter, eh?
Thread focus. Please.
Tara,
If it doesn't make a "big friggin difference" what the actual numbers are, then why provide a number in the first place -- and why get so upset if I suggest that PF's numbers seem to be baseless?
Do I think it is, ultimately, unhelpful to pass along faulty conventional wisdom under the guise of helpfulness? Yes, I do. Good feelings promoted by false information are fake.
But that doesn't mean that I want Shy to feel worse about her 1-in-50 or 1-in-25 (or 1-in-10 or 1-in-5) body.
Indeed, I would say that promoting a falsely inflated number not only discounts the importance of accuracy; it pushes a diseased appeal to "normalcy."
It says, in effect, "You don't need to be embarrassed, in part, because your condition is so prevalent, so normal." But if it's relatively rare, then who knows....
Well, fuck normal. And if solidarity demands normalcy or fakery, then fuck that too.
*****
And to Shy: pierce away if you want, and nip/tuck if you want. They're both ways of manipulating one's body, right?
But, overall, PF is correct: you've got to claim that body, no matter how you try to change or not change it. And that goes even if your body is one-in-a-million.
I'm not going to claim to know anything about Peter's motivations or the actual statistics in this case, but I agree that its generally unhelpful to pass along false information and statistics, even if they might seem to make someone feel better for a minute.
you're not sure why a journal devoted to research in "Aesthetic Plastic Surgery," would have an interest in artificially deflating their figures? Maybe to make women feel like they're strange + disgusting, to make it seem like no one else out there has the problem they have, therefore they should fix it?
And that is exactly what you did by trying to tell Shy that there is NO way that it could be 20%, that it must be wrong, even if you can't find any legit statistics.
I didn't say that there was "NO WAY" it could be 20%, just that it seemed unlikely -- and, given some research, appeared unsupported.
BTW, the journal of "Aesthetic Plastic Surgery" is peer reviewed professional journal, and the first study seems to have been a random sample of women, involving interviews and (creep alert!) physical examinations. There is at least a modicum of legitimacy there.
And remember, this is not a general-audience read; its written by and for people in the field. I would think that, if anything, plastic surgeons would want HIGHER incidence rates. It would mean more potential patients needing to be "fixed."
Here's another journal that predicts the prevalence of inverted nipples is at 9.8% in the abstract. The journal is "The Breast", which I've never heard of. However, I can imagine that there's a ton of funding to study inverted nipples since it doesn't necessarily cause any medical threats. Also, the abstract in this article (as well as other sources I read online) state that an inverted nipple may protract after gestation or breast feeding. The other two journals do not state whether or not their sample size included women who had been pregnant in the past (at least in the abstract, I can't access the rest of the article). Although it does say that the sample include single women, there are plenty of single mothers. Finally, one of those studies was conducted in Taiwan and the other in South Korea. Perhaps then the sample size of women would not be as ethnically diverse as it would be in the United States.
I meant to say: I can't imagine there is a lot of funding to study inverted nipples.
I'd say about 34% of the comments on Feministing are comments questioning the validity of the statistics give in the OP. Of that 34% about 1.2% are actually relevant to the OP. This is not part of the 1.2%.
And in case you're wondering where I got these numbers, I completely made them up.
This is offensive, I don't like these posts at all.
What?
How is this offensive? Nipples are offensive? Last time I checked, all mammals have them...
But seriously, what's wrong with telling people that accepting their bodies is a good thing?
Oh man, I'm one of those 34% nitpickers, but no, all mammals do not have nipples. Monotremes do not. Many mammalian species have nipples only in the female, e.g., horses. Stallions have no nipples. The naming of mammals after mammary glands was politically motivated, not biologically motivated.
Excuse me. MOST mammals have nipples.
Is it even possible to sacrifice a teenie tiny bit of accuracy here for a joke? I get it everybody. You're smart. So am I. Can we please stop picking each other apart just because we can?
Oh and fun fact: When I wrote this comment I actually fact checked the "all mammals have nipples" statement and discovered that alas, only most do. I decided it packed more punch to say all. Perhaps it's about 94%. I really don't know... but all humans do.
Rest assured though, I will never embarrass myself again by making such a foolish mistake.
My wife liked having inverted nipples to some extent. In high school she was able to avoid all of the embarrassing teasing that the other girls endured on cold, blustery days. Breast feeding our first child reversed their appearance and now she wears lightly padded bras to keep them from showing.
High school boys will be high school boys, which is to say, idiots. Why some women care one whit about their criticism after high school is beyond me. The only way to sanity is to not give a fuck about what people say or think about you - especially for people you don't care about.
So some guy thinks you nipples look weird and won't touch them? Next! There are plenty of guys who will just be happy you like them enough to fuck them and won't hesitate to do whatever you need to get off.
I don't care what high school boys think now and I realize they're about the farthest thing from body image experts but it stung at the time. High school is the time when most people begin to explore their sexuality and having someone reject any part of your body at that time is hurtful. Not giving a fuck comes later.
Please don't be insensitive.
I would like to know of one single human being in this world who doesn't "give a fuck about what people say or think about" them. And please don't amuse me by saying yourself.
I just find it offensive that you would have to 'fix' your nipples in order to please a man. Sad
I would try the owning route first. See how it feels to try and love and accepting your body as is and projecting that to lovers.
Most people dislike something about their physical appearance. Nipples happen to play a starring role in foreplay and being in the anatomical minority can create some insecurities which Professor Foxy dispelled. What is your problem?
I think it's offensive that you would insult another person because of a personal insecurity, ESPECIALLY when that person puts themselves in a vulnerable position, such as actually admitting their insecurity and/or asking for advice on it. Everyone posting here has at least one insecurity about their appearance, so who is anyone to judge her for admitting hers? Also, why chastise her because it was caused by some stupid teenage boy? Insecurities are stupid and are arguably most of the time caused by something/someone stupid, so can we move on if we don't have anything useful to write?
@Cheena and everyone else I suppose...
I am not Shy. I was just chiming in with my personal experience. I don't think teenage boys were mentioned in the OP but that was part of my experience.
I don't see anywhere in this post where Shy or Prof. Foxy said that the inverted nipples should be have to fixed "in order to please a man." In fact, Prof. Foxy even says "the important thing about this is to claim them."
So basically you're offended that Shy is SHY about having inverted nipples.
So, when reading this thread, I had never actually known what an inverted nipple looked like, so I googled it. And I have to say, based on your insecurity I expected it to be a lot more obvious and glaring than it is. I have a hard time believing that any sexual partner is going to be disgusted by it. I know that you feel the way you feel, but I think they actually look kinda cute! It's such a small "irregularity" on a body that you are otherwise very comfortable with. Maybe during foreplay, guys won't play with them because you are covering them up and seem not to want them touched.
I'm having a lot of issues with the comments on this post.
Shy is insecure about her nipples. Yes, they are a physically "small" part of the anatomy, and some people might not see the big deal, BUT if someone is insecure about something during sex it changes the entire experience, and it IS a big deal.
It is not about "fixing" oneself for a man, it is about being comfortable and knowing that what you're experiencing isn't strange, but if you're still feeling insecure, there are some resources available, some ways to make yourself feel more comfortable with your own body and sexuality.
sorry - meant as a general reply, not specifically to dormouse!
I can't respond for Shy but I appreciated this comment amy_sarah. Thanks for getting it.
I agree. I googled it and thought are these inverted nipples? Is this what she's talking about? Do I have inverted nipples? They are flat most of the time I'd say. I'm sure there are other women who think their nipples are too big.
http://www.breastfeed-essentials.com/invertednipples.html
http://www.breastfeeding-basics.com/html/flat_inverted.shtml
The above articles provide tips on drawing flat or inverted nipples out, when speaking from a breastfeeding point of view. I got them from kellymom.com - a treasure trove of breastfeeding info.
The sexual benefits of our nipples are really secondary to what nature intended them for. Inverted or flat nipples are a real concern for women who plan on nursing. I don't think saying to someone to just accept them is all that helpful, because it can lead to feelings of insecurity about being able to naturally provide for your baby.
Um, except that Shy's concerns were specifically about her sex life and she never mentioned that she was pregnant or planning on getting pregnant. I don't spend a lot of time worrying about naturally providing for my nonexistent baby.
The resources you provided might be helpful later on but Shy asked for advice for dealing with her sexual insecurities and Professor Foxy gave her that advice.
But don't you remember? All us women are supposed to think of ourselves as pre-pregnant: http://www.feministing.com/archives/005043.html
Oh right, I forgot for a minute. I guess I'd better quit drinking, partying, not taking vitamins and generally living like a 22 year-old and make sure my uterus is all shiny and clean for that future baby to breastfeed...
GAAAAAAAAH! The womenz is not all baby machines!!
Nipples can be solely erotic for both men and women. As a happily child-free woman, I'm so glad to see my body and thoughts shaved down to baby-maker on by a commenter on a feminist forum.
GEEZ.
My nips are innies or outies at any given moment. They're really flexible, I guess, because they like to pop in and then pop out, depending on how they feel. They are temperamental, sensitive and emotionally receptive. Depending on the weather, what I am wearing, my mood, caffiene/alcohol intake, temperature, and of course, sexual arousal...they change their minds a lot. They had a tendency to lean more towards being innies when I was in my twenties, but now, in my thirties they are much friendlier and a lot more outgoing. Never thought of it as an issue and haven't had any complaints about them. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, so I'm pretty much comfortable with mine in general. The only thing I've had to adjust to is getting the right bra for proper nip coverage now that they want to come out and say hello more often.
I know what you mean. My nipples can be flat, or they can perk up without any kind of stimulation. I went to the doctor, and she did a breast check on me. She asked me if my nipple is always that flat. I had one nipple poking out, and the other was flatter than a pancake. Of course, I told her that this wasn't how they looked usually because they are both either flat or poking out. She didn't look like she believed me, but that's the way they are. Sometimes, they poke out and I'm lucky if some guy even looks me in the face. I've tried padded bras, but they show up even through that! On the other hand, I'm glad when they stay inverted when I have on a blouse or a T-shirt because it can be embarrassing when they decide to make an appearance. However, when both nipples are flat, I've never had any complaints from any sex partners. My current boyfriend really doesn't care either way.
I agree with the Professor.
I had flat nipples, and I got my nipples pierced. I feel much sexier now - I never consider my nipples at all, unless it's for a good reason, but getting my nipples pierced hurt quite a lot.
I was worried that people wouldn't find that part of me attractive, so I changed it. However, my partner has oft surprised me with her acceptance and sometimes arousal at things on my body that I find odd or unattractive, so maybe the piercing was not needed. Sometimes you do have to take that risk of showing someone something vulnerable, but it's worth it when it turns out well.
Hmm. My nipples used to be inverted; now they're not. I guess they are flat now, but they perk up with cold or stimulation.
I think professor foxy pretty much covered it in terms of advice, so I'm just chiming in to say "you're not alone." I was insecure about them for a long time. Not any more, but I think that is as much a result of my body changing as it is a result of growing confidence.
My partner has inverted nipples. Her mother made her feel insecure about them from a young age. Luckily I was her first, so I could help undo that for her. During sex, I pay more attention to them, play with them a lot, mention how cute and unique they are (which they really are!), etc. I personally think they are a rare and beautiful phenomenon, much like dimples (which I myself possess). Most people don't know that dimples are actually a "deformity" in that your cheek muscles don't work in the proper way, but that doesn't stop us from thinking they are cute and special.
I also mentioned that media and porn images give people the wrong standard for what a "normal" body looks like, whereas in real life bodies are extremely diverse. The point being to not pay attention to those brainwashed people since those who respect and even prefer diversity make better friends and lovers anyhow. This idea also helped a lot with her self-acceptance over time. She's quite proud of her nipples now, haha.
"Luckily I was her first, so I could help undo that for her."
I thought this was well... um... creepy. Not because you seem to want to help your partner to accept herself. That's great. But the "I'm such a nurturing, accepting teacher" pat on the back creeped me the fuck out. A lot of women learn to love their bodies on their own. Pretty sure you partner could have too...
It was not my intention to sound self-serving. Are you reacting to me as an arrogant, i.e. masculine, voice (of which I am not)? I won't PRESUME to know anything about your thought processes so I ASK you first, and I hope you can afford me the same respect.
I wrote my comment as a view from the other side, having dealt with this situation. I did not say I was the sole source of my partner's self-acceptance. I mentioned I "helped" her, not because I'm a Savior, but only because I want her to feel loved and as her partner I am in a unique position to do that. I hope all partners can be supportive and understanding. Yes, I can accomplish that but I'm not asking for your pat on my back.
Just as a person can be easily affected by negative comments, so can they be by positive comments. My only hope is that people who face such a situation can be more open and understanding, which is why I shared my story.
In the end it was my partner who chose to accept herself, not because I forced her or brainwashed her. I simply exposed her to perspectives she was not familiar with. Over time, she made up her own mind.
Do you expect me to share our entire relationship history and mention all the things SHE has done to help ME be more self-accepting? That would be pretty off-topic and unncessary wouldn't it?
I feel bad that you are "creeped out," but do you hope that I take responsibility for your quick reaction based on your own assumption?
First off, my apologies keplar.
But there is reason behind my post. For one thing, I didn't presume that you were an arrogant, masculine voice. The first time I read your comment I though you were a woman. The second time, I decided you might be a man but I still wasn't sure. Also, it wasn't exactly a "quick reaction". I read your post for the first time last night and was put off by it but went to bed without commenting because I thought that perhaps it was just the sleepy talking. When I read it again this morning, I still didn't like it. Maybe I misread you but if I did so, then I did so repeatedly.
All of that said, there are more than a few arrogant voices (masculine and feminine) on Feministing and they've been putting me on edge for days so maybe you just caught the brunt of my frustrations.
I'm glad to have simply misunderstood you. Thanks for this post.
I can't speak for the commenter, but I read that line more as "Luckily I (and not some complete asshole high school/college boy who would freak out and cement those insecurities because he watched too much porn and didn't actually respect women and ex)..." and not "Luckily I (the amazing and talented fixer of broken-women that I am)...".
If I am a fixer of women, then I would gladly fix myself first. You say you cannot speak for me and then you do. Don't insult me by trying to sound polite and disguising your criticism.
Sorry, UnHingedHips I misread your message. Rescind latter part of comment.
*blink*
I was trying to say that your original comment didn't come off as offensive to me, but okay...
Once again, sorry for the misread. It's 2AM where I am. :P
It was not my intention to sound self-serving. Are you reacting to me as an arrogant, i.e. masculine, voice (of which I am not)? I won't PRESUME to know anything about your thought processes so I ASK you first, and I hope you can afford me the same respect.
I wrote my comment as a view from the other side, having dealt with this situation. I did not say I was the sole source of my partner's self-acceptance. I mentioned I "helped" her, not because I'm a Savior, but only because I want her to feel loved and as her partner I am in a unique position to do that. I hope all partners can be supportive and understanding. Yes, I can accomplish that but I'm not asking for your pat on my back.
Just as a person can be easily affected by negative comments, so can they be by positive comments. My only hope is that people who face such a situation can be more open and understanding, which is why I shared my story.
In the end it was my partner who chose to accept herself, not because I forced her or brainwashed her. I simply exposed her to perspectives she was not familiar with. Over time, she made up her own mind.
Do you expect me to share our entire relationship history and mention all the things SHE has done to help ME be more self-accepting? That would be pretty off-topic and unnecessary wouldn't it?
I feel bad that you are "creeped out," but do you hope that I take responsibility for your quick reaction based on your own assumption?
I would have enjoyed this APF if it was about owning your body and not just inverted nipples. I mean, it sucks that the writer has a problem with her nipples and everything, but I read the letter and said to myself, "ok, so she has a problem area on her body. Cool. This isn't necessarily an issue about able-ism or autonomy. Should I write in an article about how I hate the remnants of my love handles?"
The answer was a little lacking to me, honestly. I think that matching up other letters with similar sorts of issues and then having strategies for getting to love your body for its flaws because, just like every part of you, it's unique would have pleased me more.
I'm also getting a bit tired with every week being about someone hating hir body. Can we mix up topics a little, or is that all there is to be received?
I don't quite understand your complaint since the last 4 weeks since Prof. Foxy has been back she has not covered letters about women hating their bodies. Last week was about someone in a poly relationship wanting advice in talking to her parents. Before that was a trans woman talking about enjoying sex wtih her cis girlfriend. Then before that was someone wanting to know how to broach the subject of having HPV with future partners. And then there was someone wanting to know about satisfying their kink on the internet. So lately we haven't had many posts on this subject at all.
Argh...
Look everyone and you especially, Gular. There is not a lot of positive information about inverted nipples on the internet. Most of it is about plastic surgery, breastfeeding or those weird nipple suction cup thingies to "correct" the issue. I'm really glad Professor Foxy answered this question. This column is about helping people to improve their sex lives and this post helped me.
Like Professor Foxy said, "Things are a problem, if they are a problem for you. If a part of your body makes you uncomfortable, it matters." As we all know, breasts are super sexualized and feeling that your own breasts are "unsexy" SUCKS. It is not the same thing as love handles.
Seriously, what is with the comments on this post???
barring my last sentence which was written was I was waking up this morning and my mind equated APF with a lot of the posts on here regarding body image and was incorrect, I do stand by my statement that perhaps it would have been more helpful had the topic of body image been addressed through a few letters together from people. If she's addressing the topic, one would then assume that she would multiple letters detailing the same sort of thing. So, compiling a few and answering them all with "I've received a lot of letters like this, and I think these strategies may help you come to terms with the beauty and sexiness of your own body, whatever flaw you may see in it" because there's nothing physically wrong with this woman's inverted nipples. There's nothing wrong with having something about your body which doesn't fit the models out of Paris, Milan and New York. The strategies with dealing them -- the ways in which you come to own your body and love it -- will be largely the same despite where on the body it is.
As as for "especially me", I'm sorry I'm dissenting. I'll guess I'll just run back to my hovel now and everyone can rave about how much this helps them. I'm trying to point out a way this can be more universally helpful to people who may have other kinds of body image issues relating to specific, non-threatening and gender dysphoric areas of their lives. If that makes me an asshole, then I'm an asshole and I own it.
As for the lack of information on the internet, that's why you talk to a medical professional -- whether a personal doctor, OB/GYN, Physician's Assistant, Nurse or trained family member/friend. They'll be able to tell you about any risks or problems associated with having inverted nipples, how normal or abnormal it is and if it should be something to medically worried about. I'm also tired of people relying solely on the internet for information and pointing at their own search skills and saying BUT it's NOT THERE. I'm sorry, then! Go to a freaking library, talk to someone who can get those resources or information for you. NETWORK your way to an answer. Talk to actual people about the problem.
I think if people felt comfortable enough to ask someone face-to-face about their inverted nipples, then they wouldn't be all that insecure about it, isn't that right? It sounds like you are blaming the person for stubbornly remaining ignorant without appropriately acknowledging that their "decision" to keep quiet stems from great anxiety or insecurity or fear of being labeled negatively. Not to mention that women don't always trust their doctors, often for good reasons.
The letter writer IS asking an actual person (Professor Foxy) about her problem!
And I don't know about you, but when I've talked to doctors about sexual issues I was both embarrassed about asking my questions and disappointed with the answers I've been given. Doctors are trained to address and cure pathologies; they aren't, in most cases, educated about sexual issues that go beyond the physical. In the case of inverted nipples, a doctor would most likely say that there are no health risks, but beyond that, there wouldn't be much advice s/he could give about the impact on a patient's sex life.
Well, I'll give you one thing. You are certainly owning your assholishness (assholitude?).
I have been to a "freaking library". A medical library actually. I have talked to my wonderful, knowledgeable OBGYN. I have even discussed this matter with my friends and family. I have generally spent a lot more time than I ever wanted to thinking about and discussing my nipples. None of that has changed the fact that I still feel insecure about them at times.
I am not some hapless moron who "relies solely on the internet for information." But the internet happens to be a resource that many people use. Excuse me for thinking that it's great that Professor Foxy enriched that resource with a very good post.
Please do run back to your hovel now.
I have one inverted nipple and I haven't worried too much about it. If it's my first time with a new person, I might say something like, "Oh, yeah, that one's always like that, but sometimes it comes out if you suck on-- OOH!" And just go from there. Some of my partners have definitely been more adventurous than others in terms of experimenting with how to interact with it, but by now I have a sense of what I like to have people do with it, so I'm happy to just tell the person how I like to have it touched.
Also, I usually end up mentioning early on that I love having two different nipples and that I think the inverted one is really cute, and when I say that, the other person generally agrees! (Actually, if they didn't, I'd probably kick them out of bed. It's never happened.)
Huh. So apparently I have inverted nipples. I didn't know there was an actual term for it- mine go in when they're stimulated. Occasionally they go out, but mostly in. I've never thought they were weird or different or shameful- guess I haven't been paying enough attention to what the ideal woman's breasts look like nowadays. Oh well.
Yeah, I have large breasts and inverted nipples too though they never really bothered me. Usually they are flat or in though once in a while they come out. I have only had two sexual partners who saw them but neither seemed to think they were some kind of big deal and only one even commented on them and that was along the line of joking, saying "come out dammit" when we were messing around. I also remember that back in the days I read teen mags they always had girls writing in about this. I really don't think it is that rare.