One more reason feminists are awesome
They have a sense of humor.
You may remember a while back I wrote something about getting married for The Guardian. In it, I mentioned that some super cool dude online called me a "ball-cutting cybersuccubus" - and wondered if I could get that descriptor on a business card.
Well, thanks to the awesome Maia at Dandy Lion Press, I have the calling card I've always wanted.
Amazing, no?
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If comments about violence against women are out of bounds, even as a joke, why is a comment about violence against men okay? Because it's a joke? I just want to make sure I understand the rules.
How did I know someone would ask this? This isn't a comment about violence against men - it's a comment about what MRA assholes think of feminists.
You do realize that being a ball-cutting cyber succubus isn't Jessica's day job, right?
With snazzy business cards, she may drum up enough business to change that.
There'll be lines out the door.
Dude, think for a moment here, ok?
The first thing any feminist woman gets called is a ball-buster or castrator. Remember the Hillary Clinton nutcrackers that were being sold during the election season? It's not a joke about violence against men; it's a completely irrational and hyperbolic fear on the part of patriarchs that women who have an opinion and dare to express it will want to get back at men for the millennia of degradation, oppression and violence men have perpetrated, because that's what men would do in women's shoes.
Secondly, quick, name me a man you know personally who has been castrated by a woman.
*waits*
*waits some more*
Thought so.
Now, name me all the women you know personally who have been abused, raped or sexually assaulted by a man.
Lot longer of a list, isn't it?
Love this response. That's all.
Tempted to go register another ID so I can "like" this one more than once! :P
I love you.
That is all.
Remember the Hillary Clinton nutcrackers that were being sold during the election season?
I guess I am naive, b/c when I first saw one of those nutcrackers I was like "hells, yeah." It was parts of a display of pro-Democrat paraphenalia, so I assumed it was claiming the nut cracker title, the way Jessica is claiming her cyber-succubus title. I've since had it explained to me.:)
Those are great! I particularly like how the Cyber-Succubus part is in fancy script. And eco-friendly non-bleached card stock. Nice!
Those business cards look really nice! I like the way the text frames it around the edges leaving a blank space in the middle. It looks very clean. I also like the contrast between the two fonts. Normally I am not one for the handwriting fonts, but I think it works very well here.
If I needed (and could afford) to use a professional printing press I would totally give Dandy Lion Press some business.
Cool. Can I get some that say "boner-killing femi-nazi"?
You totally should.
Hee.
Married Feminist??
Isn't that an oxymoron?
Yep.
Just like:
"happy feminist"
"feminist motherhood"
"All the discriminatory practices against women are patterned and rationalized by this slavery-like practice. We can't destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage."
Are quoting someone, is that all you? I think that phrase is a bunch of gibberish. Marriage isn't the problem, persay, it's the society that we live in. The implications and history behind marriage. I hate how in this day and age people still view marriage as slavery. Lol. Marriage is what you make it.
On another note: Dandy Lion Press can definitely get some of my money. That was awesome.
Can we not derail this thread to rip on Jessica's personal life?
I agree. That was unnecessary and I'm sorry for taking the bait. Back to our regularly scheduled program!
Dandy Lion/Love
Okay, you can take this same quote and replace the word "marriage" with any of the following:
Skirts
Cosmetics
Bras/high heels/baby showers --- GAH!
Meaning is never implicit. Meaning is applied. So marriage is not inherently anything.
My comments aren't about Jessica's life, but the discussion of this stuff. Though that is still derailing. I'm just pissed b/c my business cards are LAME. I can't change them, though, as my company picks them out (and pays for them).
Hey Tara, while I agree with your post overall...can you please watch your ableist language?
Also, Love it. Cyber-succubus will have me laughing for days.
General reply:
1) The stance of the bloggers here time and again has been that jokes about violence are off limits. The excuse that it's just a joke was never accepted as a justification. Neither was the excuse that it's a "satire" ever accepted as a justification (like that admittedly tacky woman pencil sharpener or two girls one sub, which I know wasn't Jessica's) and yet Jessica has used this justification here with full support from the community.
Whether you agree with their stance or not (and I actually do not), the bloggers here vociferously oppose the use of jokes about violence in any context even as satire so why be philosophically inconsistent this time?
2) It's very easy to say you're "waiting" for a reply when you haven't posted your response yet. In fact I've been waiting for awhile here myself.
It is inappropriate to ask for names of victims. However, I know female victims of male violence and male victims of female violence. Anyone can potentially become a victim.
Furthermore, the number of victims of different genders is inconsequential in this instance. The relevant point is that it's either Jessica's stance that jokes about violence are ok in context, or not ok. She has shown consistently she falls into the second category until today and so I'm left wondering, what happened? I can only guess at your response to an MRA advertising business cards that read "proud rape apologist," or some other such nonsense and claiming that it's merely satire of what you call them.
you are entirely missing the point. She is not saying violence is okay, she is taking a term that is generally used against feminists ( you have no idea how many times we are called ball busters and the like) which the only way we can respond is to laugh it off or get accused of being uptight frigid women who get angry over nothing and just "need to be on prozac or xannax) and making it one she accepts because it is a reminder of the rediculous things that people attack us with.
"I know what I'll do! I'll write a 'reply' to every opposing argument without actually having read them. This will show how I have completely missed the point."
I am now going to proceed under the notion that you actually do want to get the point. Here we go.
Jokes about violence are not tolerated because real people actually experience violence and this is marginalizing survivors' experiences.
You don't have to name names. But perhaps you could just give us the number of real human people you know of who have actually had their balls "busted" or cut by a man-hating feminist. If such cases were prevalent or actually existed at all, then perhaps your argument that joking about ball busting marginalizes men might actually be relevant.
Also, men are the ones who came up with this.
Men are the ones who hyperbolically accuse feminist women of "busting balls" "boner killing" and "castration" when feminist women actually don't do this at all. That's what make these claims hyperbolic. Feminist women proceed to find these stereotypes hurtful and offensive because they are not true, and they undermine the cause of feminism, part of which is to free men from narrow gender roles.
In order to combat these hurtful claims, many feminists have jokingly adopted them in order to make a comment about how ridiculous and false they are.
So this is not a joke about violence against men. This is not about humiliating victims.
The joke is accepting a moniker that you know is false which has been projected upon you by people who simply don't understand what you are all about.
Feminists have been likened to Nazis by anti-feminists. So when a feminist jokingly refers to herself as a "Feminazi", is she making light of Nazism and victims of the Holocaust? Or is she acknowledging the blatantly irrational comparison?
By using that term, she is actually making a statement about the people who originally made the comparison, and how they are the ones who clearly have a lack of respect for victims of the Holocaust.
you cannot compare a feminist to a rape apologist.
Hell yeah! Love those cards. If I could afford it, I would definitely give Dandy Lion Press some business.
please sell these in the store