What We Missed
From The Root: Toward an 'Authentic' Black Barbie
Broadsheet asks if there's an "epidural epidemic"? (And the writers weigh in on pain in childbirth.)
Also via Broadsheet, Sotomayor affirmed yesterday that she believes Roe v. Wade is "settled law."
Today, Sotomayor addressed (again) the "wise Latina" comment by bringing up Alito's words about discrimination at his confirmation.
Shiny Shiny takes a look at "rape alarms."
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Here's an interesting article from The Atlantic that addresses the question of why we care more about Sotomayor's gender and race than we do about her religion, or the religion of anyone else on the Court now.
Here's a summary: "There's a difference between minorities who feel oppressed and those that don't. Having one Protestant on the court is qualitatively different than having one woman or one Hispanic. That wasn't always the case when the country was riven between Protestants and Catholics."
But the likelihood is that if a nominee were Muslim or atheist or another faith group that is perceived to be less assimilated into American popular society, his or her religion (or lack of religion) would be as much of a talking point as Sotomayor's race and gender currently are.
So I guess it's positive that Catholics and Jews are facing less discrimination in the political arena: now we just need to strive for that same perceived equality for all types of people.
Wait, wait, wait. Barbies are authentic now? Have you looked at the proportions on those things?
Parade-raining aside, this really is a step in the right direction.
Yeah, I agree the proportions are still the same. However, the barbies have ethnic features such as full lips, dark skin, and different textures of hair, much like Black women. This makes me very excited. It's good to know that later on down the line when I have kids, my daughter will be able to play with a popular toy that she can identify with.
My (coed) college once offered everyone attack alarms, which turned out to be bright pink with charms on them.
Epidural epidemic?...I'm sorry but I think that the woman having the baby and only she can decide what she wants...and I would love for this guy to squeeze an 7 pound bowling ball through a ten centimeter hole...then he can have a say as to what prepares a a woman to nurture a child.
I also agree with the others in how then do fathers and adopted parents properly prepare to nurture and bond with their child...
Ha, I had a realistic dark-skinned (!) black doll back in the 70s (or rather my sister already had her before even I was born) - AND her proportions are 100% realistic too! :) (Well, she wasn't aspiring for an adult figure, she's more like a baby doll but slightly older than a toddler, she looks 4-6 or so.) I'm still amazed how my parents managed to find that gem!
Anyone else have a problem with how this MALE midwife from the article was lecturing how women need to experience labor pain for "preparing a mother for the responsibility of nurturing a newborn baby"??? Another reminder on how patriarchal assholes can be found in any movement these days.
There's a good corrective after that from an actual woman who has experienced actual childbirth, however. "Look, I was in it for the baby, not the birth journey."
I agree that his way of talking about it strikes me as smug and partly sadistic.
I do think, however, that the number of women who get epidurals partly reflects the disempowerment of women in modern culture. (Maybe of all people, actually; it's just that women are the only ones going through labor and delivery.)
What I mean is that women are not taught to trust in their bodies, and their minds, during the birth process. Most women are taught to be afraid of the pain, and of the whole experience, by everyone from their co-workers to their OB/GYNS who are working in a traditionally male-dominated field that likes to exacerbate fear and submission in the women it purports to serve.
The worst part of experiencing pain is the fear that accompanies it; that only makes the pain worse. I imagine a day when the women who get epidurals do so for reasons that have nothing to do with fear of childbirth, and when more women opt out of them because they realize that they don't have to be afraid.
I totally agree with you.
I had a homebirth about two months ago and the pain really wasn’t that bad. The biggest thing was that I was totally at ease in my head that everything was fine. I was in my own space, I could move around as I wished to get more comfortable, I could eat and drink as I wished…and I had a warm water birth pool which was fantastic for relieving pain. Don’t get me wrong, it hurt, but I never at any point felt like I couldn’t handle it. It hurt more when I got scared a couple of times, my midwife would remind me to keep my sounds “low” and that everything was OK and the pain lessened.
On the other hand my first child was born in a hospital with an epidural and then a c-section and even with all the drugs, I was in much worse pain than the no drugs homebirth, by far. A big part of it was that I felt powerless and terrified.
"We have a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful; it’s that women are strong."
— Laura Stavoe Harm
I agree that what a woman about to give birth needs is guidance, counseling, and the knowledge of all the CHOICES she has available... and not some patriarchal nitwit forcing his agenda on her, one way or the other.
Home-birth, anti-epidural absolutists are just as appalling and anti-woman as their hospital-based counterparts.
"Home-birth, anti-epidural absolutists are just as appalling and anti-woman as their hospital-based counterparts."
I agree with this statement, but I have to say I have yet to meet any of these homebirth, anti-epidural absolutists people that I hear mentioned from time to time. I have meet and heard from lots of people who think that homebirth parents are abusing their children and DCF should be involved, that they are doing it for selfish/fashionable reasons and are generally out of their minds. With my first pregnancy I heard over and over again from people and my doctors “oh honey, that’s so nice that you don’t want an epidural…how ‘natural’ of you” the only thing they didn’t do was pat me on the head.
And considering that in many places homebirth is basically illegal because it’s illegal for a midwife to attend a homebirth, I’d say that the “hospital-based counterparts” generally have the upper hand in our society.
But maybe we should check in with the ACOG about all this and see what they think?
http://www.acog.org/from_home/publications/press_releases/nr02-06-08-2.cfm
Oh yeah, totally condescending and patriarchal, that’s right.
Just sayen’
If a woman WANTS to have a totally medically managed birth with an epidural and everything, that’s fine…, I’ve never heard anyone in the homebirth/midwife movement say boo about it. The issue is women wanting to have the freedom to have a choice that isn’t that kind of birth. And like the right to choose an abortion, I think the right to be able to choose a non-medical birth is the real fight.
Well-said. I have yet to have children, but personally, I have always wanted to do so naturally and really couldn't imagine getting an epidural. I've felt this way since long before I became interested in feminism or anything, or knew anything about the theories behind problematic medicalization of childbirth, because it's a deeply personal choice. My mother had problems with her epidural and her telling of that story has soured me on the experience, and I simply want my childbirth experience to be drug-free and natural. Always have.
But that's my prerogative. No midwife--MALE midwife--is going to tell me what to do, or shame my friends who have chosen epidurals into thinking they're "lesser" women. They are damn strong women who made a choice different from the one I would make--that is all.
His comment was misogynistic and it's almost frightening when men in these positions--employed in traditionally feminist/female-dominated jobs--show such contempt for women. He thinks that some women just don't "fancy" the pain of childbirth? REALLY? I wonder if he would "fancy" the pain of pushing a football through his fucking urethra?
i was a natural birth fanatical back when i was pretty sure i wasnt having kids.
feminism brought me to midwives and natural birth (breastfeeding, too.) not from the notion of woman as ultimate mother figure but from woman has being really fucking kick-ass with their own bodies.
I'm 100% with you - no kids yet but I *am* 27 weeks pregnant, so it's about to happen, haha. I have only ever heard bad things about epidurals - the ladies in my family give birth easily and naturally (and sometimes before they get to the hospital) so maybe I am biased in that way...between my aunts and grandmother and mother, there are 11 natural births and not a one talking about how horrible the pain is - they all state "Yes, it hurts. Of course it hurts. But it ends, and you forget."
Two of my cousins went with an epidural and ended up with debilitating, 4-day migraines - they couldn't even care for their new babies.
My midwife is down with the whole thing and actually told me that most of her "horrible pain" stories come from mothers who HAD the epidural. Because they don't expect it, and the pushing part really effing hurts, epidural or no. And it comes as a total surprise to someone who has been sold the "pain-free" epidural.
What I love about her though is that if I WANT a totally medicated birth, she will do it, no questions asked. This guy sounds like a bit of a santimonious jerk.
"What I love about her though is that if I WANT a totally medicated birth, she will do it, no questions asked. This guy sounds like a bit of a santimonious jerk."
Exactly. I'm going to quote from the Holy Book of Evil Slutopia for this one (the blog post was actually about the Gardasil vaccine but it's perfectly translatable to this situation):
"The bottom line: Don't get this vaccine [or epidural] just because your doctor/mom/sister/friend/a perky TV commercial told you to. But don’t not get it just because some chicks with a blog [or self-righteous midwives] say that they aren’t going to. It’s your health, your decision. Do your own research and accept no guilt trips."
True Entertainment and Animal Planet are looking for female cat owners to break the cat lady stereotype.
http://www.peruta.com/clients/trueent/casting.asp?casting=8
Attention Glamorous Cat Owners!
Posted: 7/14/2009
Description
True Entertainment is looking for glamorous cat lovers in the New York/New Jersey/Connecticut area.
Are you a stylish, funny, cosmopolitan, ambitious woman, who loves her cat more than anything? Does your cat own more designer-label accessories than your friends? Do they go to the groomer and spa more often than yourself? If you treat your cat like Paris Hilton treats her chihuahua, we want to hear from you!
---
Listen folks, I'm 38, I'm single, I have a cat, and your stereotypes are not my fucking problem. Bring on the frumpy, cranky cat ladies.
Senator Coburn is grilling Judge Sotomayor on abortion caselaw now, and it's interesting to hear her responses.
A few highlights:
He talked about a "28-week or 38-week infant," as in a fetus. Love it when people warp the definitions.
He then said that 80% of the world does not allow abortions after 12 weeks. Even if that true, is that fact enough to make us change policy? Most of the world lives on a dollar a day. Does that mean we should do the same?
Keep watching the hearings!
Maybe YOUR birth wasn't painful, maybe hers wasn't painful. Mine was VERY painful. And I know pain, I live with pain--I have chronic pancreatitis, which causes severe pain every day of my life, as my pancreas digests itself. I have to take serious painkillers to deal with that pain so that I can live a normal life. And when I have acute episodes the pain is mind-bendingly bad, even with IV narcotics. No one has ever suggested to me that I somehow tough out the pain of acute pancreatitis, that I just tough out my chronic daily pain because it's natural and because I'm a strong woman. After all of that, why would I not get an epidural? Pain isn't good for anything, it's just the action of nerves. It doesn't make you more of a woman, it doesn't make your birth better than anyone else's. Yes, some epidurals have side effects, but then everything in medicine has risks. I spent hours in labor until it suddenly passed the line where I couldn't stand it anymore and I asked for an epidural. Apparently, three other women were ahead of me, so it took a while for me to get it. I suffered terribly during that hour--I can't watch the TV show that was playing at the time anymore as I have flashbacks to the pain. Epidurals aren't bad things, and every woman deserves to make her own choice. As I said, everyone's experience of pain is different, and every woman deserves respectful acceptance of her choice in the matter. And men should just shut the fuck up about epidurals and just accept women's choices.
But white Barbie didn't look anything like me when I was a kid! I've got very Italian features, full lips straight nose very dark eyes and hair etc. I'm not really sure what to say about this. On the one hand its great that there will be Barbie dolls that are more representational of young black girls, but is white barbie an accurate representation of most white girls? NO!