Even if you don't watch reality television, or television at all for that matter, you'd be hard-pressed to avoid the recent controversy over Kate and Jon Gosselin, and their eight children. The stars of the beloved reality spectacle, Jon and Kate, Plus Eight, are divorcing. Despite salacious rumors about infidelity, they claim that it is just a gradual growing apart and, they add, the media spotlight certainly did help matters. It's hard to feel much empathy for a couple complaining of overexposure when they signed the contract that would expose their entire family, eight little children included, to 24 hour cameras.
But perhaps it's not just the media, or Jon and Kate, that are to blame. Kiri Blakeley, of Forbes.com, argues that female consumers are also culprits in this family dissolution. We're the ones hungrily scavenging for every last juicy morsel about the couple's demise, particularly the stories about what Kate did wrong, Blakeley argues. We're feeding the sexist media beast. She writes:
It's obvious who is devouring the Monster Mom headlines: Women. Research firm Mediamark estimates 73% of US Weekly's, 83% of In Touch's, and 77% of Star magazine's audience are female.
It's complicated. One of the most powerful ways in which we can practice our feminism is in our consumption choices. This can mean everything from where we buy our food to what kind of tampons we use to, yes, what magazines we read. The editors of feministing aren't afraid to admit that we've got some of our own guilty pleasures (All My Children, horror movies, reggaeton etc.), but they induce guilt for a reason--we know that our consumption of these things contradicts our values on some level.
No one's perfect. At the same time, I get incredibly sick of hearing everyone complain about the quality (or lack thereof) in the magazines marketed at women, and then turn around and support these same magazines by buying them at the airport kiosk. If we really want television programming or print media that speaks to our issues, then we need to tune into shows that reflect our desires, write letters to the magazines that don't.
It takes some self-discipline to avoid some of the more salacious crap on television and in print, that's for sure. But if we really want the media world to change, then we're going to have to start taking responsibility for our consumption choices. A guilty pleasure here or there makes us human. Blindly consuming "monster mom" stories about Kate Gosselin, celebrity weight loss exposes, or the latest Real Housewives series threatens to keep the sexist status quo very much in place.
I'm wondering how the feministing community draws the lines when it comes to television and media consumption. Do you allow yourself People magazine at the airport? Do you watch reality television that degrades women? Have you ever written a letter to the editor when a magazine did something you either loved or hated? Why or why not?
See community blogger crazyface8d on the topic.
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: Jon and Kate, Plus Millions of Female Tabloid Readers.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.feministing.com/cgi-bin/movabletype/mt-tb.fcgi/14639
yeah, it is really tiring and annoying. I don't read tabloids but I see these covers ALL the time when I'm at the market or walking outside on the streets and I see these on newspaper stands. I just want to take 'em and chuck 'em down the street!
I never even heard of Jon and Kate until the whole cheating scandal broke out onto the news. I've seen so many nasty tabloids that attack the mom and portray her as an evil, controlling bitch that her poor hubby cheated, in order to find comfort in another woman's arms. *rolls eyes*
while on this topic, I'm sick of the stupid "Angelina vs Jennifer" triangle that the tabloids keep bringing up, and encouraging females to pit themselves, the "normal girls" (Jennifer) against "alpha females" (Angelina).
What's even more depressing is that many females buy into this brainwashing bullshit, helping tabloids to keep in business. STOP READING THEM! STOP BUYING THESE TRASH! STOP FEEDING THE CYCLE OF SEXISM!!!
The Jen/Angelina rift gets me, too. Especially since Jennifer Aniston seems to have only remained relevant through those stories. IMO, she hasn't had a decent movie in years (and I'm not a Jolie fan, either). Sometimes I wonder if their respective camps fuel these articles just to keep their names in the spotlight, you know?
I agree. I'm getting so sick of both of those stories. What really gets me is that the Aniston-Jolie war is fabricated. From what I see, Jen doesn't really care about Angelina, and doesn't seem like she ever did.
I don’t have a TV. But I kept seeing stuff about Jon and Kate on the tabloids in the grocery store. I looked them up on Wikipedia and I have to say 1. Yes, I do live under a rock, but I am glad for it and 2. What the hell is with this media circus? I personally feel a little badly for them. While I’d like to think that I would have the strength to say “thanks, but no thanks” to the offer they were given, 50 grand an episode, I don’t know if I would. But my life is happily boring.
I have found that since ditching the TV, I have much less patience for sexist marketing and media then I used to have. I am careful/ picky about the media I do consume, the radio and internet. I don’t know, maybe I’m choosing to live in a feminist bubble, but between websites like Feministing and magazines like Bitch I read about what’s out there and I feel like I’m not missing that much.
I guess when you have eight kids, $50 grand an episode must start looking mighty fine. (I mean, it's just me and my sister, but we could use that kind of money.) Each episode is a year of college for the kids, after all.
are they really getting 50k an episode?
that strikes me as high. i don't know how popular the show really was pre-scandal, so i guess it's possible, but unlikely in that market.
anyway i quit the celeb gossip habit over a year ago and i'm much better off for it. it's hard because this is an industry town and i work in the industry and all, but i only tangentially keep up with any gossip these days, and i no longer read the 'bloid-blogs or buy US weekly or anything like that. i rarely watch television to begin with (not having had cable until very recently helped a TON), so i try to avoid all the vh1 reality schlock. not that i'm condemning anyone whose particular guilty pleasure that stuff is--i certainly have my guilty pleasures. reality tv just doesn't happen to be one of them, and i AM kind of proud of myself for kicking the habit of celebrity gossip, because i recognized that it's damaging to women, to society as a whole, and i just plain felt icky after wasting an hour on defamer/thesuperficial/etc.
It's actually 75K an episode.
What I don't understand is why this family was some sort of media darling prior to this "fall from grace" infidelity and sepapration. Isn't this woman just the same as the octuplets mom, except she had a husband at the time she gave birth? What troubles me the most about the Jon and Kate thing is that people seem so facinated with women have 6 and 8 babies at the same time due to medical manipulation, whereas the majority of the women in this country don't have access to decent maternity care that matches international standards. Why are we so fascinated with these women/couples who engage in this extremely medicalized and technological form of reproducing?
I dunno, I kind of think of these stories as the modern version of the circus freakshow. Instead of the bearded lady, we have women who have large amounts of children. Mass Culture loves a crazy-yet-true story.
I've never read a "women's magazine" or a celebrity gossip magazine, I've never watched a reality TV show, and I have written to my local newspaper 3 or 4 times about their editorials (though I'm not sure the first time counted, since I was 9). I had my brief interest in teen gossip magazines when I was 12-13, and it ended shortly after, so I suppose I connect gawking/gossiping with being juvenile. I have often felt like the only woman in the world who has never cared about Jon and Kate, "casual actors" are paid to entertain gawkers with their daily lives.
I guess my initial opinion is that you speak with your dollar. If you want to eat shit, it's not the company's responsibility to feed you anything better. However, that excludes the possibility that you may like one part of a production while disliking other anti-woman aspects, or that you may not recognize those anti-woman aspects in the first place.
Rather than worrying about what people are entertaining themselves with, I think solving the problem (or at least addressing it) goes back to the fundamentals: quality education for all and reinforcement of women as independent, free-thinking individuals. You can't make everyone a genius, but you can train most people to think critically about their entertainment, and enable them to voice their own opinions instead of mushing into the crowd. If they still want to watch Jon and Kate, observe someone's vocal bellyflop on American Idol, or read about how fat Britney Spears is after having her baby, that's their right and something any entrepreneur with half a brain is going to cater to.
I feel a bit like I'm being asked to bat all the nosy women with a rolled-up newspaper, or that women who do enjoy these forms of entertainment are being asked to self-flagellate, but I think it's just my projection on the issue. This is like the make-up post in the community section a few days ago, in that it's something you feel guilty doing...and maybe it shouldn't be? I am woman, and I'll do whatever the hell I want? The only unfeminist thing would be to judge all other women based on what I'm doing, or to say that what I'm doing is purely a part of my biology or my monthly hormone rush, instead of my individual choice.
Yeah, rambling. It feels good and it's probably unproductive. Guilty pleasure.
I reckon rambling's highly productive and an excellent way to work out your own thoughts :)
Interesting, I'm kind of like Miriam. I chucked my TV a couple years back. I don't read the tabloids, but then I can't escape the headlines at the grocery store either. I despise reality TV. And I have from time to time written the editors if I really had a problem w/ something in their magazine or program.
That being said, I think the more relevant question is why do so many women enjoy the tabloids? Maybe for a minority of women its just their guilty pleasure, a bit of escapism from a mundane world...or maybe there's something else to it. I don't know. Of course of the 'sexist evils' in the world, I think tabloids are close to the bottom, so I certainly don't begrudge anyone their 15min of fun.
Truly, they are American royalty.
I tell people all the time that the most fundamental conflict of my entire life is reconciling my feminist values with my love for VH1 reality television.
I know. I'm a horrible person. I hate myself.
I support Spike TV by watching CSI religiously. You are not alone.
And I with G4 by watching Ninja Warrior. I might be the worst offender here! But Ninja Warrior is fucking awesome.
Oh crap I do that too!! I didn't even think about that one. Man. I really do suck!
But I love me some CSI.
The only CelebReality show I watch is Rock of Love Charm School. I just started watching it this season, and I think the show is really positive. Viewers probably don't get to know much about the women on the other shows they were on before. That's sad, because they all have serious issues that they've dealt with their whole lives. Their problems are being exploited for our entertainment, and I think a lot of people forget that these are real women with terrible experiences. To see them get help and watch them change, to me, is more entertaining than watching them get drunk and make out with Bret Michaels.
Have you seen Sarah Haskin's episode on Charm school? I don't know about how much the show helps those women if what she showed was an accurate representation.
I just watched the Target Women video, and I think it really does sell the show short. The women who aren't progressing get eliminated from the show. Violent acts result in an automatic expulsion, which happened in the first episode. Ashley, who shares her fears in the clip, is probably the most reprehensible person who's still on the show, and I'm just waiting for her to be sent home. The others have made great progress, especially in the episode where they share their fears. They shared experiences of abuse, molestation, and stalking. Those women weren't represented in the video at all. I do disagree with VH1's decision to provide alcohol, since most of the women there have binge drinking problems. Many of the women who did drink in excess have already been eliminated. The woman with probably the worst drinking problem, Marcia (the one in the video who's sporting a mohawk), has addressed her drinking problem by making a vow to not have a single drink for the rest of the show, or else she'll kick herself out of Charm School. So I just don't the video really gives the show credit for giving these women an opportunity to make big changes in their lives.
Don't hate yourself, you're not a horrible person! You're aware of what you're doing and you're able to be critical of it, which I think makes you an AWESOME person.
Awww, thanks. I like you, too!
Hurray! :)
I don't feel the post is phrased in a shamey-way. I think Courtney phrased it to ask us to talk about the choices we make and the ones we feel uncomfortable about. She's not asking us to hate ourselves - rather to think about our choices and frame them/the reasons for them within a society which is yelling at us to consume things which might not be the greatest for humanity... I hope we can do that without turning self-critique into self-hatred.
I also think that being a conscious consumer does not have to always directly affect the people 'producing the garbage' to be successful - for e.g., this year I took part in a boycott of Heinz products in the U.K. because they pulled a TV ad which featured two men kissing after conservative groups complained. The boycott didn't result in Heinz reinstating the 'gay kiss ad', but it did create a huge sense of community and empowerment amongst gay people and allies who were talking about this shit and calling up Heinz complaining. Boycotting, or other forms of conscious consumption, can create community and spread awareness - PLUS the money you're not spending in one place can sometimes be redirected to a company which DOES pay attention to your interests, and it might be that company that you really affect by telling it you support its moral stance thus encouraging it to continue.
Bit of a ramble, but I think that thinking about our media choices is never pointless. You're right to point out that not everyone is in a situation to be able to make positive change choices - but that doesn't mean we should stop interrogating our own choices, just as long as we remain aware that we cannot tell other people what to do. We can raise awareness of why we choose to do what we do though. Hell, I love conscious consumption, it's one of my favourite forms of activism.
Well, that showed up in the wrong place. I'm gonna repost it below so it makes sense.
Rescue Me is my guilty pleasure. I hate the way women are portrayed on it and every week I say they have got to get a woman writer. But I enjoy all the other elements of it and try to ignore the rest. Really the women are so one dimensional.
Having said that I won't buy tabloids, I don't watch reality tv and I thought Letterman's joke was disgusting.
But Rescue Me...guilty!
One of my biggest guilty pleasures used to be US Weekly. I used to have a subscription to the magazine and I couldn't wait until I received it in the mail. Then I had to cancel my subscription due to lack of funds. I wish I could say that I cancelled it for a more altruistic reason, but that was the truth. That was 2 years ago. I still get these cravings to buy them when I'm in the check-out line at the grocery store. And I used to give in. But now I resist! And that IS because of the feminist in me. It's a little victory for myself but that's alright. I'm resisting that little guilty pleasure and it makes me feel good. And that goes for any of those magazines (although I've never ever in my life bought or had the desire to buy Star or In Touch or any of those other mags that I swear only have covers of celebs without make-up or "guess whose cellulite!") I'm gossip mag free :)
Why does it seem like the overwhelming point of this post is to get women to say "I know. I'm a horrible person. I hate myself."
If every reader of every feminist blog including feministing decided tomorrow that they would never pick up a copy of people/watch TLC/ etc. again, it wouldn't even be a blip on the radar of the people producing this garbage. No part of this post addresses the ACTUAL problem. It shames women, but that's about it.
"I feel a bit like I'm being asked to bat all the nosy women with a rolled-up newspaper" sums it up for me perfectly. How is that going to affect any real change? All that does is present a group so futilely sanctimonious that the very women that the group is supposedly addressing will reject the group doing the guilt-baiting wholesale.
There is plenty to criticize here that makes the choices made by women purchasing tabloids extremely benign by comparison. Talking about that, of course, is a lot harder, and isn't as easy as saying "hey you just need to stop existing in consumer capitalism and it will cease to exist." It doesn't work that way, because while many of us may have more choices about our participation in things [especially those with internet access and free time etc.], a lot of us don't have nearly as much choice. And you know what, it is not their fault that they are being sold a bag of lies.
I don't feel the post is phrased in a shamey-way. I think Courtney phrased it to ask us to talk about the choices we make and the ones we feel uncomfortable about. She's not asking us to hate ourselves - rather to think about our choices and frame them/the reasons for them within a society which is yelling at us to consume things which might not be the greatest for humanity... I hope we can do that without turning self-critique into self-hatred.
I also think that being a conscious consumer does not have to always directly affect the people 'producing the garbage' to be successful - for e.g., this year I took part in a boycott of Heinz products in the U.K. because they pulled a TV ad which featured two men kissing after conservative groups complained. The boycott didn't result in Heinz reinstating the 'gay kiss ad', but it did create a huge sense of community and empowerment amongst gay people and allies who were talking about this shit and calling up Heinz complaining. Boycotting, or other forms of conscious consumption, can create community and spread awareness - PLUS the money you're not spending in one place can sometimes be redirected to a company which DOES pay attention to your interests, and it might be that company that you really affect by telling it you support its moral stance thus encouraging it to continue.
Bit of a ramble, but I think that thinking about our media choices is never pointless. You're right to point out that not everyone is in a situation to be able to make positive change choices - but that doesn't mean we should stop interrogating our own choices, just as long as we remain aware that we cannot tell other people what to do. We can raise awareness of why we choose to do what we do though. Hell, I love conscious consumption, it's one of my favourite forms of activism.
The thing that I always notice about tabloids and how they portray women is that they always want to paint a woman as a "bad mother".
Like, when the Britney Spears chaos was at its peak, the coverage was all about putting the emphasis on how she was a bad mom, which is something you just don't see with men. When the scandalous behavior of male celebrities is covered (which is way less often), there's never the "bad father" factor.
I think that's definitely what's happening in the Jon & Kate scenario. Since the story broke, it's as if these tabloids are just trying to find a reason to call Kate a bad mother. Like when they were taping some kind of interview and one of her daughters asked her for water and Kate said no, or when she spanked on of her children outside their house and paparazzis photographed it. It's like everyone wants to go, "Oh! Look how bad a mother she is! She's mean to her kids!" yet no one wants to say Jon's a bad father for having an affair.
People have also been talking about how Jon and Kate got married and had children very young. It's like men have this built-in excuse for shirking their responsibilities as parents with the whole, "second adolescence" thing. Women don't have that.
Oh, I think you make a good point. I'm not so sure the tabloids don't point the finger at "bad fathers"--before Britney's breakdown people thought 'K-Fed' was a horrible father--but I think they hold mothers to a higher standard. In some ways this just reflects reality. I think there are far fewer 'bad mothers' than there are 'bad fathers'...Its not uncommon to hear about men just up & leaving their families; its much more rare to hear about women doing so. So I'm not sure that the bad mother finger pointing reflects a double standard as much as it reflects the unusual nature of it. This is also seen in making the mother the primary custodian in divorce cases.
I don't think Jon is a bad father for having an affair. I think what makes him a bad father is the fact that he's pretty absent. It's very easy to blame Kate in this situation, because she's with the kids more now that they're not together. Jon might not have been caught spanking one of his daughters or denying one of them water, but I haven't seen him with any of the kids on his own since this whole infidelity scandal started.
From what I've heard, Jon used to work while Kate stayed home, and now Jon stays home and Kate does promotional stuff for the show. That's a lot of stress on one parent. And even though this looks equal because they're taking turns, it probably doesn't feel that way when 8 kids are yelling out 8 different requests for dinner or whatever.
I sometimes watch reality TV, read People, etc., because my brain needs a break from the challenging and/or depressing shit that makes up 95 percent of my media consumption.
I also want to add, this sentence bothers me: "Do you allow yourself People magazine at the airport?" It reminds me of women needing to "give themselves permission" to eat a high-calorie dessert ... like we can't be trusted to control our intake of these "bad" items. Just thinking aloud...
Especially since the only times I tend to read those types of magazines is at airports/train stations/doctor's offices! Those are contexts in which I'm likely to be sitting around bored waiting for someone/something else to get around to me. I prefer reading fluffy crap in those situations because I don't mind being interrupted and/or having to look up and check the clock every 5 minutes.
Slightly off-topic, but something rubs me in a funny way about the phrase 'at the airport' appearing repeatedly in here. How much do you people fly? Or, since you ask us readers in this way, how much do you think WE fly all the time? Do you think the 20 minutes before boarding are the most representative indicator of our feminist consumer choices, given the bizarre situation one is in between passing armed security guards and being allowed on the plane, in that weird frame where there may be really nothing to do but eat and drink and read and watch whatever is available in an utterly cold, state-controlled security environment?
That's a good point, No way, and one I didn't pick up on myself - not all of us necessarily fly, ever. I do once or twice a year - but my airport-related guilt* isn't to do with which magazine I pick up but with the amount I'm increasing my carbon footprint, and thinking about how my leisure is potentially affecting the lives of people more vulnerable to changing climates.
Although interestingly last time I was in an airport was the first time I've ever bought ridiculously expensive moisturiser). There is something about that environment that makes one spend money on things you wouldn't otherwise, which is maybe why Courtney mentioned it as somewhere you might 'give in' to gossip mags.
*I don't mean to say others should feel guilty and I know a ton of people have to fly for a ton of reasons, but this is how I feel.
Good point. I've been on exactly two airplane trips in my entire life (both with dirt-cheap Priceline tickets) because I just don't have the money to travel much.
Now, bus stations I know my way around. Anyone who has had to sit on her luggage at Port Authority lest someone snatch it knows you probably aren't going to be reading "War and Peace" under those circumstances.
I never saw the show, like others here.
Chiming in on this topic for me is like when I have an opinion about pornography-- I never saw it but don't like it.
The speaks loudly to me, because there are loads of people who love it. Why are they and I so different?
If a woman buys People magazine, she's got trivial interests. If a man buys Playboy it's "for the articles".
Back in med school in the 80s, a dear friend enlightened me about feminism contrary to public perception at the time. She had abandoned her conservative Christian background to embrace a liberating, secular ideal with the ultimate aim of gender equality. She elaborated that feminism is not a list of dos and don'ts in contrast to her former christian values. There are no priests or mullahs telling you what you can or cannot watch, read or do. She had socialist ideals and actively protested against physicians who advocated for extra-billing of patients in Ontario, Canada. Now on her birthday she received a first class airline ticket to Hawaii. She went there and had loads of fun. You can argue that flying first class was unfeminist and contrary to her socialist ideals. She committed heresy by succumbing to the capitalist free market that is the ultimate driving force for patriarchy and inequality. She committed an unfeminist act and she is therefore no longer a feminist, right? NOT !!!!
I couldn't care less if an individual watches a stupid TV show like "Jon and Kate" or other "unfeminist" pleasures. If a person is fighting for equal pay for equal work, ending violence against women, reproductive rights, etc..I couldn't care less what he/she does in their private lives. He/she could be watching porno films with cats and dogs fucking for all I care. Like my friend in med school, if in your heart you are a feminist and you're actively doing some good in this world then that's all that matters. Don't thought police your media consumption choices. If you like watching stupid shows like "Jon and Kate" go ahead. Plus you have the remote and there is always the choice of switching the channel to watch Christiane Amanpour.
Christianity, or religion in general, is not merely a list of "dos and donts". Also, Christianity and Feminism/Liberalism are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry, derailing. Just wanted to make that statement.
I wholly agree and my apologies if my post implied the contrary. I would also add that there are atheists who are quite sexist and mysoginist (eg. Larry Flynnt of Hustler magazine). My friend was raised in a repressive, fundamentalist household which most certainly did not reflect the liberal pragmatic majority among her faith.
Are tabloids in the United States marketed mainly to women? I would have thought tabloids in the United States would be marketed to everyone, so that they could get more revenue, and seeing how the United States is the home of a lot of celebrities, a large number of men and women would be interested in how the stars are doing/what they're doing in their lives.
If tabloids are indeed marketed in a neutral manner, then why would it have more female readership than male?
They are not marketed in a neutral manner. Most tabloids and all celebrity focused tabloids are heavily read by women. They are rarely read by men in comparison. I am not sure if it is people responding to the marketing or marketing responding to people.
Is it different in your country?
I suppose the silver lining of this is that at least a significant part of the magazine market is being driven by women's desires rather than men's.
If it were possible for a celebrity magazine in the US to market itself to men & women & double its revenue, instantly, overnight, trust me it would. But marketing is generally about the art of the possible. It takes a whooole lot of money to gin up consumer interest in something they don't have at least a latent interest in already. So, no, this is celebrity mags responding to the market, not celebrity mags shoving mags down womens' throats.
Hmmmm. But why would women have more of an interest in reading tabloids than men? One of the posters above mentioned that she sometimes pick up tabloids to see the fashion inside. But if that were so, wouldn't it be preferable to pick up a magazine that deals in fashion/clothes/accessories rather than a tabloid? It shows that besides the fashion in tabloids (I assume most tabloids in the US have fashion in them?), most women who read tabloids would want to read the news about celebrities and their lives.
But why would it be that women have more (latent, as you say) interest in reading about the lives or going ons about celebrities than men? Does it have something to do with the socialization by society that says Women are interested in relationships (between people)?
At first I thought that perhaps, because women have less choices in their lives, that reading about celebrities' lives is a way of living vicariously through the adventures of these celebrities. But then again, there must be plenty of women who have nice jobs, great education, who also read tabloids, so that line of reasoning won't hold.
I don't think there is a single answer to this question, but I know alot of women who are into celebrity gossip and such (this is my interpretation at least) because it makes them feel better about themselves.
They see these super good looking women, famous women with tons of money and perfect bodies having all these troubles with men and drugs, etc. and then they feel better about themselves, either because they have similar problems or it helps to show that these people are NOT perfect, and to a certain extent it makes them think that men will like these women less because of their problems. I don't think men actually care though, but some people think they do.
I think one of the downsides of modern culture is the fact that it encourages people to justify their so-called "guilty pleasures" instead of trying to correct them. By guilty pleasures I don't refer to the intellectually lazy person who watches Charm School in their spare time; I mean the smart, proactive one who is genuinely concerned about the state of women worldwide-- and secretly reads People magazine. I think the society we live in today, will defend the second person's behavior; in the name of defending *individualism*, we will call it a "guilty pleasure" that makes us human. What it really is is a lack of moral strength and a lack of intellectual committment. As long as this double standard for women continues, I doubt that feminists can make any real progress in the world. We are financially supporting sexism and misogyny while publicly endorsing the exact opposite.
So feminists can't make a difference in the world unless they're perfect?
What it really is is a lack of moral strength and a lack of intellectual committment.
That bothers me very much, as does the previous statement that you don't mean the "intellecutally lazy," but rather "smart" women. So, if you read Us magazine, you're either stupid or morally deficient? I'm not a saint, and I will never pretend to be. The majority of the action I take in my life is pro-feminist action. I am highly civically involved. I am a victim advocate, and I spend my days working with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, but because I drop $3 two or three times a year on a tabloid, that I buy because I like to look at the sparkly dresses before I board a plane, I am intellectually lazy or morally bankrupt. I had no idea that one tiny act cancels everything else good I have ever done.
Please. I am an environmentalist, but occasionally I use a paper towel. I suppose I'm holding back the rest of society from acknowledging global warming, then?
Where do you draw the line? Should I be questioning your moral fortitude for wasting electricity and using the internet instead of being out doing "real" activist work? Or is that taking things too far?
Is a vegan who kills a bug a hypocrite? How about an environmentalist who smokes a few cigarettes a year? Or a labor activist who drank a cup of non-Fair Trade coffee at an AA meeting?
I don't mean in anyway that feminists, or any other type of activist, must be "perfect" people in order to get what they want. I just meant that we shouldn't justify and compromise our values just so that we may indulge in a "guilty pleasure" guilt-free. Everyone contradicts themselves--its part of being human. But it is also human to take responsibility for our actions, not find a loop-hole in our integrity that allows for us to break our own rules.
So I don't condemn the vegan who decides to eat an egg one day, or the feminist who spontaneously picks up Us magazine. But what if the vegan decides that they secretly enjoy the taste of eggs, and to make up for the self-contradictions, decides to call it a "guilty pleasure" so that they may still call themselves a vegan and continue to indulge their taste without restraint. I think there is something wrong with that.
Busted. I'm totally watching Jon&Kate +8 right now.
I don't buy the magazines (why would anyone when you can read it online?) but I do watch the shows. I'm an unapologetic pop culture junkie, and I'm particularly fascinated by the popularity of TLC's mother-centric programming. I have a lot of thoughts on the subject, but they're not ripe enough to really form right now...
Anyhow, just wanted to confess.
Actually, I refuse to buy any magazine with a woman on the cover. This isn't a difficult vow, as I don't particularly want to read any of them anyhow. I do like "junk food" reading for the gym (as I just can't dig theory while doing cardio), but I won't buy magazines that feature conventionally beautiful women as eye candy on the cover, period. It's not a hard choice.
It's important to remember (and we all forget) how powerful our purchases are. Thanks for the reminder! Imagine if we could capture the commercial momentum of the green movement?
I did not read the other forty-four comments before writing this...so I apologize if my comment sidetracks where conversation has been.
I have watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 since its first one hour special. I love Kate Gosselin as if I know her and contrary to most, do feel bad for her. I do not think that by signing on to do the show she signed on for six weeks of Us Weekly covers; I do not even think Us Weekly imagined the response that they would get by putting the Gosselins on the cover.
I never bought the magazines. I do not read those magazines, and rarely do I even go to online celeb blogs (i.e. Perezhilton.com). My dad drew my attention to one of the blogs and the comments beneath it. I was outraged to see post after post from women and men alike blaming Kate for her husband cheating on her. "If she wasn't such a bitch..." "If she hadn't emasculated him..." "I'd sleep with someone else if I was married to her too...." I was outraged and reminded why I do not read these magazines or these blogs. But, it did not stop there facebook friends had statuses about how she was a monster, and how they are glad Jon "got out."
I was torn! As a feminist do I respond to this victim blaming that is being done? A million responses came to my mind, about how it must be the women's fault, how of course we would look to HER before we would look to him.
But I never said anything, I sat with grief for awhile, not one to hold my tongue, I felt it best to duck out of places where conversations about Kate would unfold, I even deleted some facebook friends. Still though, I felt heavy. Can I really let the bashing go on?
And then at some point it clicked. I am not entirely blameless in this constant conversation about Kate Gosselin. Although I watched her mother her children in adoration, I watched. And I watched the Real Housewives. Yet, I am still livid at how women are presented in the media. Audre Lorde says it best, "...I urge you to tackle what is most difficult for us all, self-scrutinity of our complacencies, the idea that since each of us believe she is on the side of right, she needs not examine her position. I urge you to examine your position"
Thanks for the reminder that I must continue to examine my position, not simply finger point.
Is there really something wrong with watching though? Now I feel less inclined to want to watch the show because I know the problems it has caused their marriage. But the problem seems to be more the way people talk about Kate, as you showed examples of. The producers tried to show reality. I don't think they tried to make Kate look bad though people interpret things in a certain way. In the beginning, I'm sure they were both really hoping people would watch and thus help with their financial struggles. I don't have TV but when I go where there is cable, I might watch it because I think the kids are cute.
Personally, I hate those magazines, especially certain ones, because I don't think having lies and speculation about you publicized should be part of the job description of being a famous actor or in a reality show. So my reason isn't focused on feminism except that these "shocking" headlines seem to focus on and demean women more often than men.
I have given up on feeling guilty a long time ago. When I was a third year soc student I had a breakdown about being a "hypocrite." I wore mascara but identified as a feminist, despised capitalism but still got off on Marc Jacobs, believe in arts for cultural impact--beyond art for art's sake--but watched shows like JK+8, The Real Housewives. Furthermore hated WP but felt in constant battle of my skin color. After that, I decided to stop being so hard on myself, work on identity transformation when and where possible, and begin the work that wouldn't be finished within my life's time.
I do not mean to say that I felt if I hadn't watched the show, the outcome would have been different. I just meant to communicate that it is always good to be reminded that by tuning in, I am, in a very muffled way, using my voice.
Sometimes I think to be enlightened on the social matrix (race, gender, class, citizenship, and sexual orientation) can be alienating. When I return to my hometown in Minnesota it makes me sick that I have to seek out outlets like feministing.com to get a real look at the news and be reminded that there are people that see the world through the lens that I do. Through this alientation an uppitiness can develop..."I never read THOSE Magazines.." "The only shows I watch are..." "She had HOW many kids?" It is nice to be put in check, to be reminded that the way I live (regardless of the invisible lens I can't take off) is not perfect.
Sadly, I play into my own hegemony everyday.
And yes, I love Kate, and No I have never met her. She reminds me of my mother (who has an army of small children and me) in endless ways. And although Kate would probably never identify as a feminist (Why are women so afraid of this word?!), I find inspiration in her womanhood. Rarely apologetic, the head of the house, and a very creative woman who impacts the world (i.e. child rearing choices, food choices) in positive ways that I believe some women are too quick to discredit. Long before she became famous and part of a media frenzy, she was a woman making compromises and choices everyday. And now that she is famous and the nucleous of this media frenzy she carries the same responsibility.
A woman's work, is never finished...her children are only eight and five.
You say you love her
as if you knew her. But you
don't know her, do you?
I don't think they're real.
Jon and Kate plus billions
of ones and zeroes.
Computer contrived
simulacra, an endless
digital buffet.
Their non-existence
exists to feed appetites
for entertainment.
The same is true of
your facebook "friends" that you so
blithely deleted.
i always look forward to your poem comments.
I used to feel a lot of guilt for not being a "perfect feminist". I don't anymore. If I find something really offensive it generally kills the enjoyment for me enough that I have no desire to purchase or watch it. There is plenty of stuff that is somewhat sexist that I still consume though (beauty products being one) and I don't beat myself up about it. Personally, tabloids and most reality tv has never been interesting to me (perhaps in part because I don't find the portrayal of women in them intriguing) so I don't consume it because I have no desire to. I don't feel guilty about what I do, though, (I'm addicted to beauty/fashion mags) because I also subscribe to Mother Jones, purchase Bitch and feminist books and music, etc. I think the main problem are the people who are buying the tabloids and beauty mags and not the more feminist friendly or simply more sexist free products. However, I still can't muster up that much anger at them because I think their tastes are shaped so much by this culture and advertising. I really don't think that aware feminists are the ones purchasing only tabloids. Plus, I can walk into any supermarket or gas station and pick up a beauty mag and not a feminist friendly magazine. I would buy it if it was there but it is not. I seek them out later, but sometimes I want something light to look through at that moment. I realize that one of the reasons it is not there is because not enough people would purchase it (though I still think sometimes companies misjudge/ don't give consumers enough credit and diversity). Basically, as long as I am not purchasing a beauty magazine in place of a feminist one I feel ok.
The rules say that one
is allowed to read trashy
mags when traveling.
Not only is your point completely valid, but in addition I can't help but want to take a black marker to every single one of those covers about them. They are all shaming HER! I saw one today along the lines of "Jon driven away by Kate's controlling attitude" on People or something like that - and yet HE'S the one who CHEATED. Every single cover I have seen goes along the lines of HER PERSONALLY DESTROYING HER OWN DREAM and BEING A BAD MOTHER.
What the hell?!!?! We are blaming her consistently for this whole damn thing, when HE cheated!! And it's not to mention that it's NOBODIES business.
God but beyond everything this crucifixion of Kate has been driving me crazy. I just want to send her a letter of apology for the entire human race.
Do we know for sure that he cheated? I actually watched the new episode last night where they talked about it, and neither one of they said anything about anyone cheating, they just kept saying how they fight all the time and it's not good for the kids.
I guess I should thought the tabloids were making that up. Because they also say that she cheated with her bodyguard and maybe some other guy. So I just wrote off all the stories as unfounded rumours.
But did he cheat? Did she cheat? How do we know for sure?
Fair point. Regardless, I'm sick of her being constantly put down by the media. Honestly I'm disgusted with all of this.
Totally agree, Courtney. And funnily enough, these mags DID used to be my guilty pleasure at the airport - but I had to draw the line when ALL of them covered the Rhianna/Chris Brown affair so despicably. A girl's gotta draw the line somewhere, and a photo of a domestic violence survivor's face posted without her permission is mine.
Guess I'll no longer know what's going on with Brangelina or Lindsay and Sam. I'm okay with that.
I don't buy these magazines but I do read the headlines when in line, and I do sometimes read gossip sites online. Not because I really care about it - just because so many women I know love to talk about this stuff that I feel I should maintain at least a passing interest/knowledge in it so I can share in their discussions. It's kinda like sports for men in a way. I know guys who maintain a passing interest in sports so they can talk with other guys about it (especially guys they don't know that well). It's a similar thing for me with this. Plus the odd the story is actually pretty entertaining. But most are not.
I really think we should stop rewarding people with TV shows when they crank out too many kids.
Yes! Why are we rewarding people for being environmentally and socially irresponsible? It isn't cute. Jon and Kate are bad enough, but every time I see the media fawning over the Dugger family I feel like throwing up.
I'm chafing slightly at the tone of some of these posts. I'm really happy for everyone that can cut TV and some pop culture out of their lives. But, sometimes a girl is tired and needs a break. And sometimes I watch John and Kate and I find them fascinating and I don't feel the need to justify it.
thank you. I enjoy my fair share of reality tv and dont think I should feel like less of a feminist for it!
Women are socialized to be "relationship experts" so I feel that's the reason why more women tune to see the drama or simply, see how another family runs their family.
I think Tabloids suck, not because they exist, but because of their content. I feel it's completely fair to talk about Jon and Kate's private life because, well, they have opened their family to it. I feel the question is--why can't tabloids provide interesting commentary (i.e. like Bitch, Feministing).
I mean, one tabloid had the whole "spanking" thing on the cover---how is that scandalous?
I'd kinda like to work for one of these magazines to see which covers sell and which don't.
My favorite tabloid (or magazine) is People, I rarely buy it, but I'll read it at the doctor's office, or hairstylist's or something. I feel at least for that magazine, they actually don't make up stuff, they have a little bit of everything--fashion, gossip, reviews and articles about relatively important issues or stories.
I read gossip mags in the checkout line too, or at least the covers. For me its more like watching a freak show. Usually I'm grocery shopping with my husband and we cause a scene hollering "what the fuck is this?!?" at the cellulite articles or the love triangles. But at the same time, using others for my own freak-show entertainment is pretty bad. These are real actual people with a career that commoditizes them for our viewing pleasure. I think we tend to see them as empty shells of a human, just pretty faces on the red carpet, and forget that there's a real person in there. That makes it easy for us to see others as less than human and treat them accordingly.
As someone who has struggled with eating disorders and body image issues in the past, I avoid any kind of publication that seeks to make women feel bad about their bodies and themselves. This is somewhat difficult considering that I am a news junkie and this kind of drivel is regurgitated even in respected mainstream media outlets, but it's done a world of good for my personal sanity.
I heard that Kate said it was $60K an episode.. but whatever the number is, I would have done it. I used to love watching Jon and Kate and their 8 adorable children, but now the show is super sad (however, I will admit that I still watch it). I dont think there is anything wrong with them agreeing to do the show. When they had the twins (I think), they were so broke they moved into a Habitat for Humanity house and then they had sextuplets! I dont think they should be compared to Octo-mom either. Like many couples, they had trouble conceiving and sought medical help. With that help comes the possibility of multiples. The first several seasons of the show were just the lives of this family and their everyday struggles. It was great! It makes me crazy that people blame all of their problems on doing the show. Life is hard. Having 8 kids is hard. Money helps, but people are still people and they grow apart. I just really hope the children get some sense of normalcy @ some point in their lives!
My guilty pleasure at the airport would never be People. It was always Weekly World News... you know, the black and white one with Bat Boy on the cover. FAR more entertaining. Too bad they more or less went under... now they are an insert in some celebrity tabloid. :(
I never understood how people can stand to read celebrity news/gossip. It's soooooo boooooring... nevermind whether it's anti-feminist or not. If I was gonna listen to gossip, I'd want it to at LEAST be about people I know...
My roomate and I used to get that every week.. did the crosswords and everything :) Aside from the page 5 girl I think WWN was pretty cool. I wonder what's happening with batboy these days...
The worst thing I used to read was the Superficial.com It started out quite funny, but descended into being the most obnoxiously sexist site I have seen (its a celebrity gossip site from the misogynistic male's point of view). I would love to wage an unholy internet war on that site. Seriously that site makes me sick.
This isn't a "my media is superior" statement, just throwing my vote in.
The only reality TV show that's ever held my interest is Canada's Worst Driver. The first I heard of Jon & Kate was a brief joke on The Daily Show. I always look at gossip rags and think, "Why do I care? I don't know any of those people."
I do sometimes follow the blogs of writers I'm interested in, but even then I try not to engage in the "tabloid culture" thing of presuming more familiarity than I have. If I met Neil Gaiman in real life, I'd call him "Mr. Gaiman", not "Neil", unless told otherwise.
I used to read some gossip magazines and go to gossip websites, but I stopped doing it because I felt complicit in the paparazzi's stalking of celebrities and their families - plus I don't like the "too fat! too thin!" shaming. It made me really uncomfortable. The other day I was waiting at the dentist and picked up a magazine and I was really glad that I don't read them any more, because it was even more vicious and punishment-oriented. Next time, I will try not to forget my book.