Happy Father's Day! Read Barack Obama's essay on fatherhood in Parade, Tracy Clark-Flory on where feminism meets Father's Day, and a powerful piece on the U.S. deporting fathers.
Against Facebook's gender binary.
Tied Up in Tehran: A Metaphor
Terry O'Neill is the new president of NOW. Veronica has the details.
A Chicago gay bar bans bachelorette parties.
A magazine photoshops extra pounds onto Beth Ditto.
How can young women develop as leaders, given all of the competing negative stereotypes about women in the workplace?
"Um, why weren't people changing the color of their avatars after the Zimbabwe election?"
An update from the National Network of Abortion Funds organizing summit.
A gay postman in the UK won a lawsuit against his manager, who discriminated against him on the basis of his sexuality.
Shark-Fu on John Ensign's hypocritical violations of the "sanctity of marriage."
Muslimah Media Watch on women's (and the headscarf's) role in the uprising in Iran.
How pain and discomfort are gendered.
Women in Chicago fight back against harassment on public transportation.
The NY Times profiles Yinka Shonibare, "a disabled black artist who continuously challenges assumptions and stereotypes -- "That's the point of my work really," he said -- Mr. Shonibare makes art that is sumptuously aesthetic and often wickedly funny. When he deals with pithy matters like race, class, disability, colonialism and war, he does so deftly and often indirectly."
On The Hangover: "...every time someone that wasn't the wacky white dude leads appears on screen (i.e. a black woman, an asian man, a black man, an "ugly" woman, a married woman, an ambigously middle-eastern dude, the elderly--all in glaring stereotype) their very-other presence is presented as a gag."
The problem with the "Fallen Princesses" art photography project.
The importance of Medicare in providing health care for women.
Bacardi has some awful, sexist summer advertising.
The naked, black, female body: a recurring theme in advertising.
A man defends his rape of a 13-year-old by saying she was "no virgin."
Polling places around the U.S. are still inaccessible to many Americans.
A documentary on transgender Iranians.
How coverage of the "marriage crisis" only hurts black women.
Reviewing MTV's "16 and Pregnant."
What are you all reading/writing this week?
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When You Explain Same Gender Marriage That Way: So called Christian definitions of marriage get taken down with huge snark.
The Name OF This Blog Is: Looking at why acknowledging Womanism is necessary and why it cannot simply be reduced to "black feminism."
Shopping For A Birthday Gift? Consider Having your Vagina Re-Tooled: Looking at a woman who had hymenoplasty 6 times to "please" her husband.
The Invisible People: Looking at the erasure of POC from childrens programming and the ways in which this can be harmful.
Should You Ask If Your Child Is Gay?: We don't expect straight children to declare so by making it clear any partner brought home will be welcomed will that encourage openness in children?
"All women exist in a constant state of imperfection."
From the article about hymenoplasty...that is just the perfect way to put it, everything seems to revolve around women not being good enough, not just with their bodies. Even things we are supposed to be "natural" at, like being nurturing mother types we are under constant criticism and scrutiny.
Anne, please check that page on the transwoman's "murder" again--it has been edited. The story was a hoax and has been discredited. It's a damn shame that someone pulled this stunt because it throws doubt on the many all-too-real murders of transwomen and men that do happen in this country.
Thanks for the heads up. (I bookmarked the link earlier in the week, and didn't reread before posting today.) It's removed now.
It's sad the only story about a trans woman to get any interest from cis people in a while was a faked story about a murder.
The things people are willing to hear about your experience and the things they are not go a great distance to showing you what their culture is invested in, and that they are there to remind you of their dominance.
We finally got back from the International Women's Writing Guild summer conference... here's our initial recap, plus some celebrity speaker fantasies and awesome dancing bears!
We also wrote about our 80s nostalgia, the One Million Moms' protest of the Secret Life of the American Teenager, and why New York magazine keeps dissing Rock of Ages.
Oh and since we use the blog as free therapy, we threw in a rant about friends and exes for good measure.
My thoughts on the david letterman joke
http://mzbitca.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/apparently-this-bears-repeating/
Action Alert for those in the Northwest Indiana area
http://mzbitca.wordpress.com/2009/06/18/if-you-have-any-information/
I've got a short post on depression and other things they don't teach you about in college.
Just finished reading I'm Looking Through You, soon to move on to From Barbie to Mortal Kombat: Gender and Computer Games.
"We need to say to our daughters, Don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for your goals. We need to tell our sons, Those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in our house, we find glory in achievement, self-respect, and hard work." - From Barack Obama's Father's Day Letter
Ugh. This should read:
"We need to say to our children, Don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for your goals. We need to tell our children, Those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in our house, we find glory in achievement, self-respect, and hard work."
Good for that gay bar! It's about time we had a safe space. There are millions of other straight bars for those women to go to. Bachelorette parties are crap anyway (but that's another post). I'm really sick of the flaunting of the heterosexual lifestyle in my face and in the one or two places we have to go where we aren't beaten up or persecuted.
PS Stop calling us "your gays." It's not cute and we're sick of it. And stop exploiting us for your needs (ooh, bachelorette party! do my hair! and my make up! i love ellen!) and then telling us we're not human. Thanks.
Yes!
Until a year and a half ago, I lived in Boystown (and loved every second), and was quite disturbed at the way straight women would come to the neighborhood to appropriate the culture for their entertainment. I loved the neighborhood, but I tried to be respectful of the fact that this was an area carved out as a safe place for gay men within the city and there was no way I'd have entered those fought-for spaces expecting to be catered to as a straight woman.
I lived in Boystown too, and miss it very much. I only went to gay bars when I was with gay men and always viewed myself as being a guest there.
Interestingly, I just had a conversation with my uncle last night where I asked him if gay men minded when straight women came to gay bars. My friends want to go to a gay dance club, since it's supposed to be very nice, and I've been wondering, "Well, of all the times I've been to gay bars and clubs, it's never been without gay men. Is a group of women going okay, or are we totally invading someone else's space?" He said, "No one really minds unless the women try to take over and act like they're the center of attention." Which certainly describes this bachelorette party situation.
I'm really confused as to why the owner of the bar made this into a solely gay marriage issue. I understand that point and understand how it would be hurtful to gay customers. I'm not contesting that in this post. I guess it's just what's important to him and that's fine.
Hollywood Marie talked about the exploitation of gay men by straight women for fashion needs. I agree and also think that this instance is a sexual exploitation. And that's where I really thought that the bar owner was gonna go when I was reading the article.
The objectification of the gay male body is problematic enough with in the LGBT community.
As a woman who likes women (lesbian, if you will) with the experiences that I've personally had, I don't like being oogled by straight men. I'm sure many lesbians would agree (see lesbian chic). But because of, you know, a bunch of patriarchal shit, I would expect the oogling of gay men by straight women to have a different dynamic than the oogling of lesbians by straight men.
I really don't know how gay men feel about straight women sexualizing them, in some cases, to the point of fetishization (see gay fanfic written by women, women consuming gay porn; and i say fetish in its unfortunately inaccurate and common usage because i'm not sure what other word to use). Then at the same time straight women desexualize gay men because they are "safe" and are like a straight girlfriend. I say this in full support of healthy gay men and fag hag relationships. I have a straight boy who's my own fag hag! (anyone come up with a word for that?)
I would really like to know how the gay men that this happens with feel and think about this. I know there is no one opinion but, since I'm not a gay man, I can only project my theory-based bullshit and personal experience, and therefore cannot speak on the subject from a position of authority.
And...yet when I say all this, in the back of my mind is my womanist voice telling my queer voice to shut the hell up and appreciate that gay space is also a "safe" space for women. (It's sad when they fight.)
But bachelorette parties can be so f-ing annoying.
Win a Sparklette Tag by telling us about one of your African American heroines for our Juneteenth Giveaway!
The Stoning of Soraya M.: The film sets a dismal tone from the very beginning as viewers learn about the violent and humiliating marriage in which Soraya is trapped. Soraya stays with her abusive husband because she lacks the financial resources to raise her daughters without him. When Soraya’s husband fails to force her into a divorce that would free him to marry a fourteen-year-old girl, he begins plotting with other men in the village to falsely accuse her of adultery, and subsequently have her stoned.
The Blue Cotton Gown: A Midwife’s Memoir: Harman is a nurse-practitioner and her memoir tracks a handful of women for approximately a year, zeroing in on the many variables that impact their health and well being: rampant drug and alcohol abuse, poverty, violence, mental illness, and inadequate information about staying healthy, among them. It’s a gripping account.
United States of Tara: Beyond the instructive aspect, however, a quitely overt feminist message is evident in the series. The show starkly reveals a few of the never-ending roles many women are faced with in their daily lives. What woman has not had to “play” several roles, whether it be model homemaker, friend to her teenage daughter, companion to her disaffected husband, and just plain Mom? It is an ingenious ruse to disguise these roles as different personalities of the same woman, but not a far stretch of the imagination.
Here's a sampling of Bitch Magazine's blog posts this week:
Pride Worldwide, Enjoy This Photo Collection of Pride Events Around The World!
Are Questions about Feminism Being Obsolete Obsolete?, CNN's clever ruse to dog feminists while promoting Palin
The New York Times "Reaches Out to Heavier Young Women", the NY Times' feminist FAIL
How my dad made me the feminist I am, pretty obvious what this is about
Where Have All the Riot Grrrls Gone? Pop Music and "Post-Feminism", why we're not gaga over the new gaggle of lady pop stars
PETA is a Bunch of Bull, this week's nonsense report on PETA's ineffective tactics
Gay Animals: They're All Around You!, more evidence that queerness is au naturale
Twitter, Women, and Protest in Iran, a round up of stories on women in Iran
And two more from around the 'net:
Deepa’s Inferno: Domestic Violence and the Indian Diaspora in Heaven on Earth: Couched in a story from Indian mythology, Deepa Mehta’s newest feature film, Heaven on Earth, blurs the line between reality and fantasy to provide a nuanced and authentic look at the struggles of a young Punjabi woman who has immigrated to Canada from her homeland for what turns out to be an abusive marriage. Never one to shy away from heavy and complex issues, Mehta’s film addresses arranged marriage, Indian family dynamics and expectations, domestic violence, and love.
Isa Chandra Moskowitz and the Art of Vegan Brunch: Aside from writing some of the best vegan cookbooks on the market, Isa is the creator of The Post Punk Kitchen, a website and public access cooking show that is currently on hiatus, although there is a plan in the works to re-air the show online. I spoke to Isa about her new book and the beauty of black salt.
Regarding those Bacardi ads, this is what Bacardi responded:
The campaign you are referring to ran in 2008 for two months in Israel. Even though Bacardi Breezer is not sold or distributed in the United States, we immediately notified the appropriate Bacardi affiliate and had this website shut down.
Bacardi proudly celebrates diversity and we do not endorse the views of this site. We sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by this site and thank you for bringing it to our attention.
Thanks for the Fallen Princesses link love! This week I also wrote about ads for the new season of True Blood.
Thanks for posting the link about 16 and Pregnant. How did I not know about this show? Oh yes, I don't know about anything remotely related to MTV. Anyway.
I watched the first episode online, and it's pleasingly non-idiotic and, more importantly, non-condescending. Since it's narrated only from the pregnant teen Maci's point of view (and maybe her lines were written for her, but they seem real to me), there's no chance to hear adults discuss how tragic she is. The show makes it apparent that things are hard for her, but I didn't get any "Her life is over" sense from it. I'm impressed that they chose to showcase a girl who seems smart and capable.
It seems very real in all the discomfort portrayed -- it's not overblown, but it's honest. The other teenagers ask her insensitive questions that they don't know are insensitive. Her new father-in-law goes, "Really?!" with an air of true shock when she says that his son was her first boyfriend. It's apparent that he meant, "Golly me, I thought you were a slut! I'll be darned."
The one thing that seemed very much like an "Oops! I forgot I can't act like a teenager anymore!" moment was when Maci got on a four-wheeler very close to her due-date. A four-wheeler? Really? If this wasn't a reality TV set-up, then it is apparently what sent her into labor.
Maci's fiance, Ryan, comes off as rather cold. More involved than most teen boys might be, but cold. I feel like he'll probably come to regret allowing his teenage douche propensities to be nationally televised someday. Seeing him reminded me of how extremely lucky I was to have been accidentally impregnated by a man who supported me every step of the way. ;p
June 20th is World Refugee Day! This article by Maria is about real people behind the refugee crisis.
This article by Thomas is about whether or not the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival is a Feminist Festival.
A report about a Netherlands swimming instructor for people with mental disabilities is suspected of sexual abuse by Elizabeth.
Alison wrote about Who Fits the Abercrombie Look? about a retail store that penalizes employees for not adhering to the Look Policy.
Emily wrote about the blog networking conference that was catered to men called Blogs with Balls and what it means for women involved in sports.
Carrie wrote about the violence against transgender people in Venezuela and what you can do to take action.
I can understand if a gay bar wants to keep the dumb straight girls out, but because of gay marriage? Weird reason to segregate. Sounds kind of like a bitter queen.
Read the article. The sign's been up since 1994, but the heteros are making it all about prop 8 now. Way to run straight to the stereotype.
The sign may have been up since 1994, but in the article itself the owner of Cocktail is quoted as saying it is about marriage equality.
"Until same-sex marriage is legal everywhere and same-sex couples are allowed the rights as every heterosexual couple worldwide, we simply do not think it's fair or just for a female bride-to-be to celebrate her upcoming nuptials here at Cocktail."
why exactly is it so weird for a group without a particular privilege not wanting to be used to flaunt that privilege? I mean, I am pro understanding, and I love the petition idea. but I can see bars being like why are you coming down here to an "exotic" bar just to flaunt what you have that we don't? I mean really, why a gay bar? isn't the point about the idea that it's the last night to imagine sex with someone else? well, I'm pretty sure most gays don't want to be involved.
I actually agree with the bar owner's right to do what he chooses with his business, and I would be hard pressed to be offended by a sign asking me to check my privilege in light of a current political climate that persecutes millions. What I objected to in my comment was the assumption that it's stereotypical for a straight person to think it's all about Prop 8 when in fact the bar owner himself says it is about marriage.
ahh. okay. I had misunderstood the earlier comment
Like liv79 said... He said himself it was about the issue. I read the article before I made the comment, and he just sounds like he's marching in the wrong direction. If he really wanted to create change, he'd lure the women in and hand out some sort of literature about gay marriage, or at least give a speech or something. Cutting off a portion of people that could potentially fight for gay rights is foolish.
Why are you so accusatory? You sound like a ball of bitterness yourself.
Another thing worth mentioning - ABC recently had a quick bit in their "wacky and wild" news stories titled "Crook seals his crime with a Kiss" about how a burgler 'stole a kiss' from the girl working after holding a knife to her throat. The lighthearted way its described as 'just a kiss' is truly, deeply creepy and i think ABC should get some feministing hate for trivializing sexual assault.
see for yourself: http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=7769083 or http://abcnews.go.com/meta/search/imageDetail?format=plain&source=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.go.com%2Fimages%2FUS%2Fabc_ann_kissing_bandit_090605
Kudos to the police officer tho. He gets that sexualized crimes arent funny. If only ABC could have gotten that hint.
I just wanted to add that I'm pretty sure Facebook gives the option to skip over and not respond to the "gender" question at all, because that's what I did. It's idiotic that gender still so defines a person in our society that we're asked to identify our gender even on a frickin' not-real online profile floating around in cyberspace.
And, as I recall, Facebook also "allows" for people of the same gender to identify as married. I did an experiment with a friend. (Though this really shouldn't be a question, I suppose, since gay marriage is legal in several states.)
This is an interview with the amazing Malalai Joya, an women's rights activist in Afghanistan who is under constant death threats from those who hate her message:
http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jun/21/bravest-woman-in-afghanistan/print/
And here is a very moving article I read this morning about a program here in Baltimore that offers a whole host of services, all in one building, to women who are heroin addicts trying to quit, who become pregnant.
http://www.baltimoresun.com/health/bal-addiction0622,0,3711244.story
(Please forgive if the links don't come up as clickable; I am a bit technically challenged.)
"Father" Doesn't Make Family - Why I didn't like Obama's Parade letter.
As far as the banning of bachelorette parties goes, what has always bothered me the most about bachelorette parties, is that there ARE NO straight male stripper joints. I am not speaking against or saying that there shouldn't be gay bars, it's not about that at all. What my problem is, is that it's ok for women to strip and show their bodies to the world, but it's only ok for a man if he's gay? Gosh, I wish strippers would go on strike. What would men do if they suddenly had no more magazines to look at, no more strip joints to go to, no more public female nudity period? Oh, let me guess, "they would have no outlet for their sexually violent ways." And so it would be our fault for not providing them with some.
Sorry for the childish post, I know it is, but I am in a raw mood today and so being a little bit more candid.
As far as the bachelorette parties go the guy can run his bar the way he wants to. On the other hand if I were one of the strippers and those women were my best tippers I might not be too pleased.