This weekly Saturday column "Ask Professor Foxy" will regularly contain sexually explicit material. This material is likely not safe for work viewing. The title of the column will include the major topic of the post, so please read the topic when deciding whether or not to read the entire column.
I am a female ejaculator. I discovered this hidden talent when I was with my ex, and although it was a surprise to both of us at first, we both enjoyed it immensely. I don't mind that I come this way, but it is kind of frustrating that it happens every single time I orgasm, because it can be pretty messy. In fact, I don't think I can have an orgasm without ejaculating.
I know my ex liked it a lot, but we're not together anymore and I can't help but be nervous about it happening with my next partner. Generally I'm very confident and open-minded about sex. But the other day some of my girlfriends and I were talking about sex and the topic of female ejaculation came up. The unanimous response was "disgusting", "porn-star-ish", or "impossible". Obviously that made me feel great.
On the other hand, as a feminist I think it's a double standard that men can ejaculate and its normal, but if I do it's wrong and gross. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I do, but I'm a little worried about how my partner will react. Obviously he should accept me as I am, etc., etc., but even as a feminist I can be self-conscious. So, what do I do? Should I warn him or just let it happen?
Thanks,
Worried
Hi Worried
It is a weird thing to be a sex educator. I've been a part of so many of those "that is gross" conversations. When I speak up and say "actually, a lot of women do that," another woman will speak up with a "yeah, it is not gross." And then two more will come up to me later and say, "I do that." Here the "that" is female ejaculation, but you could substitute in golden showers, being handcuffed, anal sex, and a variety of other activities. Ten percent of women ejaculate when they orgasm, and countless men and women think it is the coolest thing ever.
It is a double standard that men ejaculate and it is wonderful and women do and it is odd. But men and women both judge themselves and worry about their sexual performance and "oddities." In my experience, women talk about it with other women, but men just hold it in. Whenever I do anonymous questions with a group of men and women, the questions are equally divided between the women body and function worries (Do I smell bad?) and the men body and function worries (Is my penis too small? How can I last longer?)
I am so happy for you that your ex reacted so well to your ejaculation. With your next lover, I tend to lean towards the telling them before it happens ... not on a first hang out or date necessarily, but when sex and orgasm seem likely. The first step is for you to feel comfortable with it. (Easier said than done I understand.) But recognize that you can do something that is pretty damn cool and unique, and, at the same time, more common than you think. (I am looking forward to the number of readers who are about to write in telling you that they too are female ejaculators.) When you tell your lover, I would suggest framing it in a not embarrassed way, but rather knowing your body does something pretty damn hot. A potential lover who reacts negatively, while he may bruise your self-esteem, is actually not a lover worth having. When we can own what our bodies do and look like, others will follow.
If you have a question for Professor Foxy, send it to ProfessorFoxyATfeministingDOTcom.
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My girlfriend ejaculates occasionally. It is the hottest thing EVER.
She discovered that she is capable of ejaculating when she was about eighteen; she says that her lover at the time tried to convince her that she was temporarily losing bladder control and was actually peeing herself. He thought it was gross. Too bad...his loss.
She hadn't done it for ten years or so when it happened while we were making love a few months into our relationship. Initially, I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't think it was gross, and I wasn't turned off by it...I just didn't know what to make of it. Certainly, I had never been with a woman who had done it.
Since then, I've done some reading on the subject and we've talked about it with some regularity. We've discovered that it's something that takes time...not something that happens during a Tuesday night quickie. But when we have our Saturday or Sunday afternoon marathons, it happens often.
And if it's not my favorite part of our sex life, it's pretty near the top.
I am a female ejaculator and I have yet to find a lover who thinks it's anything other than hot as hell. I have discussed it with my (very open minded) girl friends and, although they cannot or have not done it, they think it's pretty awesome that I can.
I used to feel weird about it because it isn't something that is very common, but I have had lovers constantly reassure me that it is very sexy and adds to the experience, which has helped me with my acceptance of it. As long as they're aware of what might happen, and open to something new, I'm sure they'll love it, too.
I'm glad this topic was brought up! It sucks that something a lot of women are able to do is so often kept hush-hush when talking about sex. I know that when it first happened to me, I was masturbating and definitely thought I had just peed myself. Once I found out what it was I was pretty pleased... but most women probably have no idea about the truth. I have yet to have it happen with a partner, but I can definitely empathize with the anxiety that it might happen.
I am happy to read about this. I don't ejaculate and thought it was weird or unhealthy. I had no clue that the idea of women ejaculating was thought of as weird or disgusting in society. I actually wish I could...
Yep, I ejaculate too. It's really not as uncommon as people think. For me, it only happens in certain positions though.
My parents were pretty open about sex and I had a good sex ed class in school, but no one told me about female ejaculation. The first time it happened I thought I had peed all over the guy. Luckily he knew what had happened and thought it was super hot.
let it go, girl! Every time this has come up with a guy..they've thought it was pretty cool. Not that that matters. If a guy thinks it's disgusting then he doesn't need to be in there.
I'm not able to orgasm. Count yourself lucky.
i have often wished i could do that. and i think most women have the capability...it is just that for some it would take longer (and different positions, or different techniques) than others.
i can understand that it would be uncomfortable, especially since no one ever really talks about it. so thanks for sending this in to get the word out about female ejaculation!
i also think that everyone has something that their bodies do that make them self-conscious...some people get really sweaty, some don't get wet at all, some make noises that they didn't know they could make! i'm so happy to see that you recognize your body's abilities as a talent, rather than a flaw. i don't doubt that every legit person you have sex with will think of it the same way.
actually, most women are capable of ejaculating. they just dont know it.
and to the original poster, yes you can orgasm without ejaculating but as with everything, it takes time and patience to understand and learn this. you have to pay attention to everything, try different positions, not push at that exact moment, relax and have fun.
most women honestly just dont know their own bodies. I decide when i'm ejaculating and when i'm not. there is no way i'd even want orgasms if i had to ejaculate EVERY time. they are such different expereinces and there are plenty of times i want to experience them separately.
Reading over the comments thus far, I was struck by a couple of things:
I think it's great to recognize and celebrate the diversity of human sexuality -- and certainly "knowing your body does something pretty damn hot" as Prof. Foxy says is awesome.
I guess what I'm wary of is treating female ejaculation either as something especially hot -- or as something that can be learned.
I admit I haven't looked into ejaculation specifically. But with the amount of pressure our society puts on folks to perform sexually, I feel like the idea that "all women can X if they only try hard enough or know themselves well enough" is kind of irresponsible advice. I'm all for learning about one's body, and trying new things -- but I also think it's important to remember that every human body is different, and even if you don't experience sex like you think you "should" doesn't mean you're a loser.
On the "especially hot" front, I feel like women's sexuality is always in danger of being fetishized just in general, and whenever our bodies do something unique that can really easily be turned into something that is seen as an exotic party trick (and I use the word "exotic" deliberately). Again: if particular couples get super turned on by X or Y, of course, run with it. But saying that female ejaculation is "super hot" without qualification ties back into the sex-as-performance thing and makes it this response women might feel pressured into trying to achieve . . . even if their bodies don't respond that way.
Good point(s)
yes, it *can* be "learned"...as long as the capability exists for that person, they are able to trust their partner and willing to go there in the first place. so yea, it can..:)
my sister's girlfriend personally "taught" her how...my boyfriend taught me. its not that big of a deal. there are so many factors at play in these scenarios it can't be clumped into simple yes it can or no it can't categories.
you wrote:
"I feel like the idea that "all women can X if they only try hard enough or know themselves well enough" is kind of irresponsible advice. I'm all for learning about one's body, and trying new things -- but I also think it's important to remember that every human body is different, and even if you don't experience sex like you think you "should" doesn't mean you're a loser."
no one on here besides foxy was giving advice.
more, they were sharing their personal experiences.
and also--no one said "all" women can.
it kinda feels like you projected that.
its sad but true that most women *don't* know their own bodies. we have alot of external reasons to thank for that which is another post entirely. we are all for women learning their bodies, its something that is spoken of frequently on these boards.
lastly, i read every post...where does it say that if you don't experience ejaculattion then you're a loser? (since thats what this thread is about)
i hope more women share their experiences with something that is not spoken about often. we need more conversation about women's sexuality and how lucky we are to have this safe place to do so.
I don't think it's necessarily sad if some women don't "know" their "bodies". If they're happy as they are, I think it's fine. I have no idea if I can ejaculate and I feel no particular need to find out.
ghostorchid:
i don't agree but thats the beauty of debate! we dont have to...:)
i tend to believe the more women know about their bodies, the more comfortable and informed they are with how their bodies work. alot of my friends have trouble having orgasms because they haven't experimented with what feels good/what doesn't. they don't know their own limits.
i think its unfortunate when women come into the clinic i work at and don't even know their own anatomy.
so yea, i tend to think its sad when women don't know their bodies.
I'll say this - I'm a bit uncomfortable with the phrase "know their bodies". Firstly because it reduces "body" to sexuality, which I think is telling about the high priority "sexuality" is given over other workings of the body.
Secondly, I also don't like the implication that if I don't "know" those sexual workings, I'm somehow ignorant and pitiable and should learn. This all hinges on the idea that sexuality is important. Which it is. For some people. For others, not so much.
If your knowledge and exploration level of your own sexuality is so low that it's making you miserable, insecure or upset, then by all means, learn. But if you're content with your current level of knowledge, I don't think that warrants pity. Even within sexuality, we can have different priorities - I'm interested in figuring out certain things, but not others.
On a somewhat related note, you say that most women could probably ejaculate if they got over the reflex to hold in when it feels like they're going to pee. For the record, some of us hold in not because we're worried about urinating or because we feel ashamed, but because we feel no inclination to try ejaculating.
In short, I feel like women who don't feel one way or another on this, and don't particularly care to find out, are getting a bit pathologized here.
As a woman who can and does ejaculate, I am going to say its awesome. You know, just for narcissism's sake.
I have had problems with lovers treating it as something to be fetishistic over (and using it as a standard of their own performance...talk about pressure!), but I've never had a man be weirded out by it.
Generally they treat me like I have some kind of superpower.
Whoa...does female ejaculation carry privilege? I think that's what I just said...
I had a friend who told me about a time with his ex-gf where she "wet the bed" during sex. I explained to him that she probably ejaculated, which was a good thing on his part. Even after I told him, he still said it was such a "turn-off" for him.
But I reaaally don't understand that. I've ejaculated a few times and it's always when the sex is really good. I kinda thought he would consider it a turn on that she ejaculated, considering it probably means he was good in bed.
I do it too (it usually only happens for me when I'm on top, though)! Maybe experimenting with different positions would be good if you're concerned with doing it "every time."
In my experience, partners have really liked it. I agree with the point that it could become a "fetishized" act. Still, I don't think there's anything wrong with a partner who is supportive and encouraging of this part of your sexuality.
I wouldn't worry about it. If anything it should give you an early true insight on a new partner, if he freaks out he's freaking out about something that is you and something that I think personally is pretty freaking cool. Most healthy, intelligent, informed partners would see this as a definite plus - a guy definitely understands ejaculation and the pleasure/release of it.
Only potential downers:
1. If he's young/inexperienced and just has never seen it before and really thinks it's pee there should be some pre-discussion. With the internet though this naiveté surely no longer exists.
2. I have seen some massive volume and some neat freaks may have a problem if there are expensive bed linens involved...maybe a hotel until you know the score? Plus hotels are fun.
3. It takes 'did you come?' to another annoying level for the times when you just don't.
I agree with the 10% natural ejaculator estimate I'd say it seems like another 5in10 are occasional only for longer or those 'just right' sessions.
Wow. I always thought female ejaculation was a normal part of the process. I had no idea that people tried *not* to do it for a lover, or that women would actually deny themselves such a pleasure because it seems "gross."
We learn something new every day.
umm... then i guess i'm a goddamn weirdo because it's just never happened for me, even when i've TRIED. but yeah i guess otherwise i'm just a flippin' self-denying prude. @@
Lorelei,
i don't think thats what Auriane was saying. it sounded to me like she was more confused as to why someone would try *not* to, if they could...me for instance, i sometimes don't want to...you know, what if its the heat of the moment and we're in the backseat of a car...hardly where i want to be doing that!
anyway, i don't think anyone on here thinks you're weirdo or a prude...:)
its a cool thing, as is any consensual experience, but i'm definitely more interested in the emotional connection i have with my partner. i honestly could care less about ejaculating. but thats just me, i don't make it into a huge issue, cause its not.
I have had this happen a few times. My boyfriend at the time liked it. I also know other guys who talk about this and think it is hot or at least a sign they are doing something right. I have also heard of guys who have no idea what it is or think it is pee. Myself, I am not sure if I would tell a guy before hand or not. I just kind of view it as a natural thing that happens and is not a big deal. Of course, it also doesn't happen every time for me, but I don't see it as anything I would need to warn someone against. However, I can see where taking Foxy's advice might also work, as long as you couch it in the terms that she suggests as being something hot you can do, but not that big of a deal. As for your friends, some women call anything that they are not familiar with sexually gross publicly though they don't honestly feel that way. They have just been conditioned that "good" girls are embarrassed and grossed out at anything but white bread sex and sexual responses. Other women may feel somewhat threatened by the ability of some women to do this because it is something that they have heard porn stars do and men like and, of course, they don't want it to become expected because then it could become a shortcoming that their bodies do not do this.
so true. i've noticed some women get very defensive/threatened about this.
I love reading feministing. This has happened a couple times to me, and I fell into the I thought I peed myself group as well (only happened with vibrators, never with a partner). Now I know what the heck is going on!
you're right. it *is* a "normal" part of the process...if it is something you experience.
i don't "deny" myself of anything by deciding when and if i ejaculate and certainly not because i think what my body is doing naturally is in any way "gross".
on the contrary!
i decide exactly which sensation or experience i want at the time. its just doesn't always include ejaculating!
seriously, if i couldn't control it, i'd have less orgasms then. i just don't personally want to deal with it EVERY time. i might just want a quickie or am in a closet or am at a friends.
i just don't always want to have this sort of broadway-style situation.
I'm capable of female ejaculation (only with g-spot stimulation; the vibrator just doesn't cut it) and I wouldn't ever insist "everyone is capable". Insisting everyone is capable of FE is about as silly as insisting everyone is capable of putting their feet behind their head, or wiggling their nose or ears, or curling their tongue-- some people can, some people can't, and there's no positive or negative value judgment inherent in that capability.
That said, if someone thinks it's "especially hot", what's wrong with that? In my experience, "especially hot" doesn't mean "has to happen every time". How different is finding FE "hot" than a partner finding my breasts or ass or the way I look at him or her hot? Am I being objectified or reduced to a body part or body function? And, hey, if a woman ejaculating is hot, am I really going to complain about a man, in particular, trying harder to make it happen? :)
I have a theory that guys who have a big problem with female ejaculation fall into the selfish lover category. Sex is a shared experience, and the satisfaction of one's partner an obvious (and exciting) aim. Sharing moments of climax can come through different means, and all forms of intense, physical feedback are fantastic, ejaculation included.
Women: please let partners know to put a towel down, if only for convenience.
"Squirting" is the IT thing in sex circles these days. You can actually find clips of how to induce it. It's just a natural thing some women do often some not so much and some not at all. I agree with Seamster if you're one of the inclined put the towel down.
Another ejaculator here. It feels great but I never know when it'll happen. It's usually during an intensely satisfying orgasm that it happens. You know, the kind that send you off to sleep!
I'm in the same boat as you. It's something I do but I don't know how to tell future partners. I guess if they don't like it, they probably don't want to go out with me, cause it's not something I can control.
Just wanted to shout out "I hear ya, sistah!"
Why does it matter if guys think it's "hot" ? Does everything we do have to fit in a category of Hot or Not Hot?
It matters because the woman who wrote into prof foxy is a little worried about how her future partners will react to it. All we are doing is reassuring her that there's really nothing to worry about because most people find it arousing. And no not everything has to fit into a "hot or not hot" category but I don't think it's unreasonable to want our sexual partners to be turned on by things we do in bed.
I think almost everyone has their little sexual quirks that are self conscious about but really hope their partners will enjoy.
someone told me that it is more common for women over the age of 35 or so. has anyone found that to be the case?
I did it once right at the end of a pregnancy...it was so awesome and funny, I had no idea what the hell happened.
Actually, I found that I did it more often in my late teens than I do now in my 20s. But that could also be that there was way more foreplay when I was a teenager. Then, when I went out with my boyfriend, it was foreplay all the time. touching and kissing while driving, at dinner, in the movie, etc. By the time we were able to pull the car over, or whatever, we'd been petting and making out for hours.
My ex-husband came to think that if I *didnt* ejaculate, then the sex was bad, and he would get all hurt because it turned him on as well when I did it. But most (like 99%) of those times, there was little to no foreplay and I think that is why I didn't ejaculate.
Nobody's mentioned this yet, but I just thought I'd point out that when I ejaculate during a great orgasm, I can't tell that I'm doing it - the only evidence is the wet spot on the bed. If the orgasm is particularly good, I might suspect that I'm 'squirting,' but it seems more like an accompaniment to a great orgasm than an end in itself, if that makes sense.
And, like many others who have posted, I will mention that my boyfriend thinks it's super hot because it means that the sex was really good for me. In response to the original query, my advice is to bring it up when sex is imminent, it a sort of 'btw' kind of way. Or maybe if you are having a conversation about sex in general you might bring it up as a general topic - you don't have to interrupt dinner conversation to let him know you're a squirter. have fun! ;-)
I first came across this while tending to my wife's cogworks. She had an orgasm and ejaculated right into one of my eyes. I tried to get it out of my eye while exploring my vocabulary of obscenities and she apologized because she thought she peed on me.
I knew what had happened, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity for a joke and I told her how awesome it was that her vagina could spit out acid to ward off predators and dissolve the soft tissue of her prey.
It happens rather infrequently, but I'll add my voice to the choir that I find it ridiculously sexy.
Best reply ever.
I guess im confused. How do you know your ejaculating if your being penetrated? Wouldnt you just think that it was lubrication if so? And what is the ejaculate? My human sexuality teacher (who I am not saying is right) told me that female ejaculation was in fact urine and a little secretion mixed together and not "actual" ejaculation. But what in the hell does he mean by actual anyway.
I need to read up on this.I guess I was in the dark because I thought that female ejaculation was something fake that porn stars did with special effects or something. I guess I was w*r*o*n*g. I suppose I come to feministing to learn. Hm.
i feel like i've already been on this thread too much but since it personally happens to me i wanted to share.
your sexuality teacher is both correct and wrong. he just had it backwards...:)
while the majority of fluid is usually
secretion, there are times, like the first
time it happens that night, that the beginning
of the stream has a small amount of urine because it is expelled from the urethra, not the vagina...and your bladder is likely holding some urine. (some women who know alot about their own tendencies with ejaculating go to the bathroom before beginning sex)--either way, its a small amount that is hardly noticeable. so he is definitely misinformed with the reality of this.
basic sexuality 101--you can't pee when you orgasm, (the top of your urethral opening has a little flap--its what is used when you stop the flow of urine) so...most women feel the need to have their partner "pull out" so they can "release" it, (push)-which can be hard or feel awkward when something is inside you)--
otherwise alot of women hold back when they get that feeling because they think they are going to pee...when in fact they will not.
this is why most of my friends (and i say most women) can actually ejaculate if they would just relax, pay attention to their own body, not get freaked out when the urge is there because its NOT pee, and just let it go! but they are afraid they are somehow dirty or will gross out their partner.
btw--the "test" to see if it is fake in porn; if the ejaculate is being explelled from the vagina
and NOT the urethra...it is fake.
Your sexuality teacher meant that "actual" ejaculation must include semen. And probably in his little mind, that is true.
oh, i wanted to add quick that i am NOT implying that if women just tried harder then everyone could do it and oh happy day! that if you can't then you haven't tried or are lacking in some way. i truly believe ejaculating is no big deal.
i am simply stating that for alot of women it really did boil down to paying attention to their bodies and relaxing. but some women don't want to ejaculate. there are times i don't want to either.
so whatever makes her happy, ejaculate or not...go with it..:)
Female ejaculator here, Worried.
My husband has a magic thumb that hits my g-spot just right and I go gushing.
I have the opposite situation as you. It is far easier for me to ejaculate than to orgasm, and it has been the case that if I have already ejaculated, I nearly cannot orgasm, so sometimes I hold it back to orgasm first and then allow it to flow.
We know to go get the towel(s).
I remember being very self-concious about it initially, but had, fortunately, seen "Sluts and Goddesses" a little before and realized what was happening.
My H got it squirted in his mouth once, and called it "the purest water he had ever tasted." ;)
Another thing that reassured me was that though I have gushed and gushed at times, when I have then relaxed in the aftermath, I have had to go pee really badly.
I agree with the Prof., here. Someone who's not into it wouldn't be a good sexual match for you, and some sort of heads up seems like a good idea- though also kinda funny to say right before, during sex.
"Oh, I'm gonna cum. You're going to get really wet.... Batton down the hatches!"
"Oh, I'm gonna cum. You're going to get really wet.... Batton down the hatches!"
Whilst throwing a life preserver over the partners head XD
The first time I squirted I really thought I was peeing myself. My Bf knew better, and we had a soaked bed to show for it. He was really pleased, myself more weirded out. And annoyed the puddle was on my side.
Although I have found there to be one big misconception between my partner and myself. He really think I must have had an intense orgasm to squirt, but for me that really not the case. I don't need to orgasm to squirt (Slightly different stimulation?) and the reverse is true as well.
I'm an ejaculator. If a guy has a problem with it, he can kindly go fuck someone else. End of story.
Seriously though, I tend to "warn" the person beforehand so a) they're not surprised, and b) I can gauge their reaction. It's a good indicator of their comfort with sex, vaginas, and female sexuality in general. And yes, the men that are down with it are 10 times better in bed than the men who aren't.
If there's any kind of hesitation or weirdness (they usually don't have the guts to outright tell me they think it's gross, but you can see it in their face, and this DOES happen from time to time), I usually just say "um, ok. Well, for the record, most men are really stoked. I was under the impression that making a girl come all over the place is a GOOD thing, and I'm really not down to fuck someone who's this afraid of vaginas." I really have no patience for peoples' issues with squirting - it almost always means they're holding onto some really bullshit ideas about women and sex.
(Apologies for the heteronormitvity. I have no sexual experience with women so I can't really speak to that.)
I wrote a few articles on ejaculation that you might want to check out. They debunk that whole "unnatural/impossible/disgusting" myth.
http://empowerment4women.com/culture/sexuality/fetch_the_towels%3a_the_art_of_female_ejaculation/
http://empowerment4women.com/culture/sexuality/fun_with_anatomy/
I think this discussion is a valuable reminder that even among cissexuals, women's bodies have a diversity of experiences and expressions. This is especially important if (as I'm now doing) a trans woman joins the conversation. I've often found that - even among educated, progressive allies - when discussions move from "head" topics like gender theory and politics to "body" topics like sexual function or physicality, trans women are dropped from the discussion fairly quickly, or the gestures to engage us feel perfunctory. It is often in the space between these different types of conversations that much essentialist thought peeks through, and I start hearing words like "normal" being used in reference to bodies.
I had bottom surgery over a decade ago, yet I am still capable of ejaculation. I'm not sure of the physical mechanism that happens (it is similar but not the same as pre-bottom surgery ejaculation), and it has never happened while with a partner. I was pretty shocked the first time it happened, as I'd never been told to expect that after bottom surgery. In any case, it doesn't happen every time I orgasm, but when it does it is a lot of fun.
Unfortunately, if I am having sex with a partner (my sexuality is primarily homo-, and over the past decade my partners have been mostly cis queer women) and feel myself nearing that ejaculation-is-coming feeling, I get distracted, lose focus and don't end up coming at all. This is frustrating (obviously), but it also brings up a lot of gross emotional stuff for me.
In the decade or so I've been part of the growing progressive radical feminist community of trans women, as part of our struggle for inclusion I've heard a great deal of extremely hateful things focused on the bodies of trans women, mostly from queer cis women. So often our bodies are used as arguments against our inclusion, so it makes perfect sense that I'd disconnect sexually from something that I could see trans-exclusionists highlighting for their arguments of division and othering (I don't mean my partners, who obviously have pretty solid politics about trans inclusion if they're ending up naked with me).
I am excited and happy for women to have good relationships with their bodies, and I am glad that these discussions happen. From the comments here - from cis women alone - it is clear there are a range of experiences of our bodies. It is also clear that even language intended to empower (e.g. "hot") can be unintentionally othering. From this awareness of cis bodies being discussed by cis people, hopefully one can then extrapolate to understand how the bodies of trans women are othered by very similar processes, sometimes unintentional, often intentional.
(p.s. As far as ejaculating with a partner, I'm willing to keep trying.)
Sometimes it irritates me that there's only a "liked" rating option in comments. I think there should be a "YES!!! THIS!!" option for comments like yours.
I ejaculate every time I orgasm and I always have multiple orgasms. The first time I found out I was fooling around with my (now ex) fiance and we were both really confused as to what happened. From then on though he would do whatever it took to make me ejaculate finding it to be highly erotic. I have to admit, I agree that it's really a messy ordeal, but you can always put those mattress protectors on your bed and that makes clean up very easy. I agree with professor foxy, if your partner doesn't like you and your body the way it is then they're the wrong one for you. I find that ejaculating gives me a sense of secrecy since it's like a wonderful surprise in the midst of passionate love making.