The due date is quickly approaching..... Everyone is eagerly waiting to see the new addition to the family. The pictures that are taken will be in the albums forever..... but wait, who is that unrecognizable monster in a hospital gown? NOT YOU!Finally there is A Dressed Up Delivery!
We at Pretty Pushers believe that you deserve to look your best when you work your hardest. The enclosed five items are sure to keep you feeling fabulous until the job is done!
I'm sure you're dying to know what these five magical items are. 1) Pink lip gloss and a mirror 2) A "delivery dress" 3) A headband 4) A lemon-water towelette 5) Heated massage oil
As a doula who has accompanied women during childbirth I can tell you that the only useful thing in the kit is the massage oil and maybe the headband. Massage can be great for pain mediation during labor, and if your hair is long you might want it out of your face. Oh, and the mirror could come in handy, because some women like to see what they are doing as they push.
Perpetuating screwed up ideas about women's beauty is already infuriating enough, but now we need to mix it in with childbirth. If you've ever actually been with a woman after she's given birth, I'd say she looks pretty damn beautiful, sweat and all.
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I was complimented on how great my hair and skin looked after I gave birth to my baby, but since that was because I had complications and had spent a lot of that time unconscious I guess I wish I had the opportunity to be a little less photogenic.
This is only useful if women are expected to be gracious hostesses in their hospital rooms rather than recovering patients... oh, wait. They are expected to be gracious hostesses. Well, bring on the makeup then.
Gag.
God forbid you actually look like you just gave birth to a baby after you just...gave birth to a baby...
I think the website's name says it all, unfortunately.
One of my friends just gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital*. I told her that reaching for the lip gloss after her water broke was not the right move**.
*true
**not true
I see the point, but I think you could interpret this a little differently. Personally I think the focus on women doing whatever they want to to maintain whatever their personal sense of dignity is during labor/birth is a great thing.
I was lucky enough not to give birth in a hospital, so the prospect of a hospital gown was not an issue, but for me the idea of having to put on a limited coverage hospital gown when I'm walking around/moving through contractions and squatting instead of my own clothes is very distasteful, and would have made me feel angry and distracted. Similarly, women who generally take pride in their hair and makeup being flawless might feel that having special things to that end while in labor helps them to feel in control and dignified.
So I just don't think products like this are an unmitigated evil...women experience birth very differently and each woman's attitude should be honored.
I think that's a good way to look at it. Some women might pick this out for themselves.
On the other hand, if someone gives it to you as a gift, do you get offended? Well, its kind of like when they give you scented soap, right? It either says "I thought this soap might make you feel good" or "you smell" depending on how you look at it...
But I think that if a woman really does "take pride in their hair and makeup being flawless" she probably already has her own mirror and lip gloss, etc. Even if the type of woman who would like something like then, then you're likely not the type of woman who need something like this.
"and each woman's attitude should be honored."
So why does the product talk about the "monsters" who don't look their best when giving birth?
I was thinking along the same lines. This could be a really fun or funny gag gift, or a playful bit of support to a soon-to-be-mom who tends to care about such things. I too did not give birth at a hospital, so I got to wear whatever felt right to me.
At the same time I think the whole idea that women's bodies have to do or look a certain way can be problematic - especially when you also consider differently abled bodies, and those who can't or don't bear children.
"Personally I think the focus on women doing whatever they want to to maintain whatever their personal sense of dignity is during labor/birth is a great thing. "
Why is dignity all about looks? I dont think this is about dignity but disrespecting women. What she did was dignified. It was not dirty, vile or revolting so why should she have to paste over her triumphant experience? Her sweat, blood, exhaustion IS make-up. Its better. If this were men the act of doing something active and painful would be dignified. Any make-up, ect would undermine it. I can see Clint Eastwood giving an unapologetic gritty sneer with a cigar in his mouth and his eyes wouldnt belay any embarrassment while holding his newborn baby in his gown with sweat, strain and without any 'damn make-up.' Putting make-up on her is like she's saying she has to apologize or something. Its something taught to females to shame and inferiorize them.I think its just sexist.
"I can see Clint Eastwood giving an unapologetic gritty sneer with a cigar in his mouth and his eyes wouldnt belay any embarrassment while holding his newborn baby in his gown with sweat, strain and without any 'damn make-up.' "
LOVE it. Very good point.
I didn't care what I looked like when I was laboring, other than I wanted a gown that actually was big enough to cover my ass--which I didn't get. Even though I asked a couple of times. I had thought about buying one of the pretty delivery gowns now available to prevent this from happening (and because they're pretty), but I couldn't justify the cost. Having a baby is expensive!
This is definitely an outrageous gimmick, but at least they have some ethics going for them (and in no way does this excuse the product).
From the Pretty Pushers website:
"Proudly made in the USA
Much consideration has been taken for the environmental impact of this product. We have strived to achieve smart choices in manufacturing resources, such as using more paper than plastic, pure cotton rather than synthetic fibers, and water-based inks where possible. 30% of the paper used in our packaging is recycled, 60% is recyclable, and we in turn recycle all shipping boxes and cartons that come through out facility.
We along with many other mothers agree that it is more hygienic to wear your own cotton dress during labor than to wear one used by hundreds before you, such as those in most hospitals. In this case, 'disposable' is good, because it conserves some of the millions of gallons of water and chemicals currently expended daily on laundry in hospitals and birthing centers across America.
We also expect high environmental standards from the companies that provide our materials. They too have made strong commitments to sustainability by utilizing modern machinery which decreases emissionoutput and waste.
We have worked together with our suppliers to minimize energy use during shipping, receiving, and storage. Our efforts will continue to find sustainable yet economic ways to bring creative ideas and products into your world.
All Pretty Pushers™ products are PVC free.
Pretty Pushers™ does not test on animals."
I thought it was interesting/good that they have such a space dedicated to their values on such a dinky website.
Is a hospital gown really unhygienic though? That one sounds a bit off to me...
Hospital gowns are NOT unhygienic, they are washed in BLEACH and other caustic chemicals that kill everything. If a patient with a really bad/contagious disease wears a hospital gown, it is destroyed after use. If a gown is exposed to fecal matter or blood, it is destroyed.
Hospital gowns are just fine to wear.
I figured as much. It's too bad that they added that line to their statement.
"Pretty Pushers "
((eye roll)) Pretty Pushers sounds infantalizing.
Sounds like spin to me and I'm a media major in PR and marketing.
I find it hard to get angry about this (I can get there, but it's an effort). Some women might enjoy it, and thus will buy it. Others will buy it for baby showers or other pregnancy-related parties. It is not about what is necessary for giving birth, but what might make the mother feel good.
I do not see what is offensive about wearing an easy-to-put-on dress, lip gloss and a headband when giving birth or near that time, though I think with all the sweat/moisture about you might end up tasting your lip gloss which is kind of gross.
I found that clothing in general bothered me in labor, so I just gave birth naked. Way easier.
one of the guide posts of emminent second stage labour (the pushing part) is all "modesty" goes out the door. that pretty gown is going to be ripped off the second transition hits.
with both labours, i stripped my way through the birth center then second i was in the door. i couldnt wait to get naked and get to work. (both times i arrived at the ass end of first stage labour.)
That's an option? I was kind of thinking I might like to go that route, especially since I"m leaning towards a water birth
"I found that clothing in general bothered me in labor, so I just gave birth naked"
Damn straight.
It seems that a product like this treats the symptom and not the disease.
Its unfortunate that women are made to feel as though they should look "freshly made up" all the time... even after giving birth. If we somehow got rid of the standard that women are only as good as they look, I think that plastic surgery and products like this "Dressed up Delivery" would disappear.
Exactly. And not to mention the fact that, if women really do need these items to make themselves feel better (which I won't fault them for since we all have to live in this society), they can buy them at the drug store like they would under any other circumstances. Women don't need for them to be marketed in this way.
What, is giving birth a performance now, too? Sweet fucking gods, is there NO time at which a woman is allowed to focus on something other than being Patriarchy-Approved Pretty(tm)? The gown, ok, I can understand wanting to wear something of your own instead of an ass-exposing hospital gown. The headband, sure, keep your hair out of your face. But fucking lip gloss?
If a woman *wants* to be all dressed-up to give birth, that's her prerogative. It's the assumptions that she *should* want to be all prettified while she's, y'know, bringing new life into the world...that's the bullshit here. Pretty Pushers, indeed. Remember, ladies, no excuse is sufficient to relieve you of your Sexay Duties to the world!
I agree none of us should be made to feel like we have to be a pretty, smiling fembot during labor...that's utterly ridculous and totally unrealistic given how hard the work of labor is. I was right there with the best of the truck drivers in grunting profanities while I pushed.
But for me, getting away from the hospital-model "a woman in labor is a screaming sweaty mess who can't be reasoned with going through a terrible ordeal who must be told what to do" was very important. So being able to wear what I wanted, set up the room how I wanted, and look more or less like my normal self all helped me to reclaim the experience as a positive an healthy one that I was the boss of.
I just see this as potentially feeding into that for some women...I'm glad to see women focusing more on making their birth environment their own. If only we could see some much larger, systemic changes than this!
"I was right there with the best of the truck drivers in grunting profanities while I pushed."
And spewing pea soup!!!
Perfectly summed up my sentiment! Well put. Is there no escape, even is situations like this?
After my best friend had her first baby, I went to visit her. She hadn't showered in two days, hadn't brushed her hair or teeth in too long to remember, she had no makeup on, had bags under her eyes from exhaustion and was wearing a hospital gown. In all honesty, I had never seen her look more beautiful.
I hate this product. I want it dead. Women are incredibly beautiful after childbirth 100% of the time and NO ONE is going to look at the pictures and say "You looked like crap, you couldn't have put on some makeup?"
"NO ONE is going to look at the pictures and say "You looked like crap, you couldn't have put on some makeup?""
At least no one fucking should!
1. Pretty Pushers. Seriously? Does this not sound like a monolith megacorp from some sci-fi novel's distopian future?
2. The infamous story of my birth, other then taking place in a blizzard, is that my mom's water broke as she got off the phone with the doctor, who had been assuring her that even though she felt a bit odd, the baby wouldn't come for several more weeks (I was early!). My dad panicked, threw everything in the car...and then sat there by himself, because my mom had run upstairs to shave her legs and put on stockings. She wanted to make sure her legs looked nice, considering all the attention.
I guess that's the problem. Obviously women should not have to feel like they need to look Pretty (TM) all the time, and products like this just further that expectation. BUT we do live in a culture that expects Pretty (TM) all the time, and therefore there are women who will want stuff like this. It's a pretty ugly circle.
Anybody who would refer to a mom who just delivered a baby as "that unrecognizable monster in a hospital gown" is human garbage!
If there is a hell, there is a special spot at the 9th circle for the folks who wrote the ad copy for this product!
Word. That line is one of the most horrifically sexist things I've ever seen.
That was supposed to be in response to GREGORYABUTLER.
You have to be kidding me. I fully support women doing whatever they need to do to keep their sense of dignity during labor, including wearing their own clothes or shaving their legs or whatever, but the idea that the only thing keeping you from being an unrecognizable monster is a bit of lipgloss and a moist towelette is beyond offensive.
I get what some people are saying, but this was not really pitched from a place of empowerment for the mom (i.e. wear this dress, not because the open-ass hospital gown is degrading, but because you want to be pretty, don't you?!). I hate so much of this shit.
During my first pregnancy, I remember flipping through a dad-preparation book, and I broke down in a hormonal mess of tears because it said something like "a good gift for your wife before labor is a certificate for a bikini wax and a pedicure so she doesn't look like a gorilla in the delivery videos" and I knew I hadn't shaved anything I couldn't see or reach in months. Like there isn't enough pressure to deliver, as it were, without having to feel self-conscious!
How awful! I would have cried, too. I'm currently 8 months pregnant with my first, and the last thing I need is someone telling me I'll look like a "gorilla" if I don't have a pedicure and a bikini wax. I'm sure you looked absolutely radiant!
I agree that the main problem with this produce is the marketing. It's not offering it as a "comforts of home" package to make you feel more secure and in control. It's basically saying that while going through this completely natural process you become absolutely hideous and noone wants to see that.
It's not coming from a place of empowerment, it's coming from a place of patriarchal beauty norms that leads women to worry about how pregnancy and giving birth can make their body less attractive and that the process becomes less about them and more about how others view them.
Wow. I hope that book isnt still in circulation. Every woman should burn it if she sees it in her husbands/partners hands.
Ha, agreed. I think it's called "She's having a baby, you're having a nervous breakdown."
We gave up on the books geared at dads, because they are all absolutely moronic. There was one (I don't recall the title), that made this argument that I had heard before that basically the only reason there appears to be a gender disparity in who assumes primary parenting responsibility is that our definitions of "parental responsibilities" are skewed in favor of mother-provided care. So REALLY, when you count all the "parenting" dads do, including cleaning leaves from the gutters and mowing the lawn, moms and dads ACTUALLY spend equal time parenting. In conclusion: watching the football game with your infant = feeding and diaper changing. So don't stress out! QED!
My husband was like "um, honey, I don't like this one either. But don't read it, it will make you angry."
I have to say, I hate how this product is packaged and marketed, but I also hate hospital gowns. They make me feel extremely vulnerable and uncomfortable. Every time I go to the doctor's office now (I'm not pregnant) I make sure to wear a camisole under my shirt so that I can just have that on instead of a gown because I hate them so much.
So, that being said - I don't think one should have to *look* a certain way or be *pretty* during labor, but I do like an alternative to the hospital gown..
I hate hospital gowns too, but my reason is different. I don't like that they make me feel like I *should* be covered up at the doctor's. Like, if my boob pops out and I don't do anything about it when I'm at the gyno, I should feel immodest. This coupled with the fact that it's too small so it always rips (I'm 5'10" and average build), probably because I'm wearing the equivalent of a paper lunch sack. (Do I LOOK like a ham sandwich?) So usually I'm sitting there and my ass is hanging out anyway, and while I'm not self-conscious about my body, I start feeling like maybe I'm breaking the rules.
I'd rather just be naked, with maybe a blanket made out of that material to keep me warm-ish, instead of a paper doll dress. Even something that I could wear more like a towel would be acceptable. Anyone else feel this way?
why oh why do I have to "pretty" ALL the time?
I'm really confused by all the "ass-exposing gown" references. When you go to the hospital to give birth, do they ask you to wear the gown so that it opens in the back? Whenever I go for medical care which requires access to my pelvic area, they ask me to wear the gown with the opening to the front, for easy access. For one visit, when I would be in the gown for a while before the doctor actually started working on me, they had me put on two gowns - one opening to the front, and over that, one opening to the back. It preserved my modesty until such time as the doctor needed access. Then the overgown was easily removed and the doctor could reach the parts that he needed.
For some reason, I find the shape of the packaging really obnoxious.
monster? MONSTER? Are you fucking kidding me?
That is some deep-down, serious, therapy-worthy misogyny and mother-fear there. I mean, what a loaded word when it comes to talking about birth and motherhood and looks and power.
I don't understand the idea of pregnant having to keep their dignity through beauty products. Isn't pushing a 8 lb. fetus through your vagina dignifying in and of itself? I mean, that's no easy task. This is a terrible product that insinuates that women have to be pretty little adornments, even when they're giving birth. For goodness sakes, can't pregnant women just give birth?
You ever notice how the line "you deserve to look your best" is used by the people who wouldn't allow you to look your worst?
YES. I always end up yelling at the TV during commercials for whatever it is that has the models saying "because I'm worth it!" I'm worth HAIR DYE?!? Fuck you!
"The pictures that are taken will be in the albums forever..... but wait, who is that unrecognizable monster in a hospital gown? NOT YOU!"
Hell yes, that monster in the pictures is me! Blood-streaked and beaming with sweat-matted hair and not a spec of lip gloss to be seen.
I *love* those pictures!
Ugh, If anone brought that product within ten feet of my birthing room, I will not be held respondsiable for my actions.
Ugh, If anone brought that product within ten feet of my birthing room, I will not be held respondsiable for my actions.
Wow. I was on mag for 24 hours after my daughter's birth, and frankly, it never occurred to me to be concerned about the way I looked! And I love that in a picture I have of me in the hospital bed with my husband laying on my lap and our new daughter on his chest, with no make-up and no shower in 2 days, I look more beautiful than I'd ever imagined I could.
I think it might be nice to get something more comfortable to wear than a hospital gown, and a headband might be useful, and chapstick might actually be good for dry lips, etc. But its more the tone of this... it says "dressed up" not "comfortable and dignified."
God forbid should women look "badly" after GIVING BIRTH! Not to mention, what woman would be concentrating on putting on lip gloss when she's just had a child?? Methinks otherwise somebody's priorities are out of order (unless there are chapped lips involved - that's always uncomfortable! lol).
"If you've ever actually been with a woman after she's given birth, I'd say she looks pretty damn beautiful, sweat and all. "
TRUTH.
All I have to say is that a lemon water towelette isn't going to cut it. You didn't just eat some wings at Hooter's for Pete's sake, you pushed a BABY out of your VAGINA. A lemon water towelette isn't going to make you feel better. Jeebus.
what's the point of wearing anything but a hospital gown or old t-shirt? you're just going to get whatever you're wearing covered in blood, placenta and heaven knows what else. it would be like wearing an evening gown while painting.