The Onion Does It Again
Redeem thyself, fornicator.
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Redeem thyself, fornicator.
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"Redeem thyself, fornicator"
This is win, Vanessa!
Haha, I love The Onion :)
LOL
I love this.
And I loved it when feministing posted it about a year ago, I think.
http://www.feministing.com/archives/008170.html
Ha! Ah well, we'll keep it up for funsies : )
Weird, The Onion must have reposted it because it came up on my RSS feed from then as a new article.
*from them
The Onion is full of win!
Awesome. The Onion never fails.
are pharmacists going to deny women this one, too? ;)
I'd love to see an article to go with this where a pharmacist refused to give this out under the "conscious rule" because he felt that women who are that indecisive shouldn't be raising children.
I like it except it makes Plan B sound like the abortion pill...
On April 23, 2009 the Dominican Republic was urged by its President Leonel Fernandez to consider the matter of ending the death penalty for un-born children in that country. In a remarkable vote the lawmakers put down abortion’s blood drain by a whopping 167 to 32.”
In the unlikely event the Lap Dog Media in the USA reports on this story, the headline and accompanying fantasy will read something like this:
—————————————————————————————————————
DOMINICAN WOMEN LOSE RIGHT TO CHOOSE
In an evenly divided, but hotly contested debate over reproductive rights, the pro-choice legislators lost an extremely close vote to keep abortion safe and legal. Only a fraction of the anti-choice legislators voted to return the Dominican Republic to the dark days of rusty coat hangers and back alley butchers preying on helpless women.
Some mainstream Dominican Republic organizations are alleging irregularities in the tabulating process and are appealing the result to the Supreme Court.
Women’s rights groups are alleging a clear violation of church and state and are accusing conservative Christians and right wing extremists of the coercion and intimidation of pro-choice legislators who capitulated to pressure to subordinate women’s lives and health to religious dogma.
Matadora de Bebes, spokewoman for The Dominican Abortion Movement Network and Eugenics Defense (DAMNED), urged feministas everywhere to stand in solidarity with their oppressed sisters in the Dominican Republic.
The Dominican Republic Union of Non-religious Knowledge and Socialism (DRUNKS) has issued an urgent appeal to freedom loving people everywhere to send rusty coat hangers to the members of the legislature.
Dominicans Requesting International Protection Soon (DRIPS) are appealing to the United Nations Security Council to immediately send troops to restore the rule of law.
Hospitals across the country are preparing for an epidemic of biblical proportions as post abortive women, diseased and dying from back alley abortions, flood emergency rooms in astronomical numbers.
In a related story public health officials are at a complete loss to explain the exodus of reproductive health care professionals and, at the same time, an entirely unanticipated rise in the quality and quantity of health care available to pregnant women and children.
—————————————————————————————————————————-
Justice anywhere is a threat to injustive everywhere.
The truth is a majority of ONE.
yor bro ken