Questionable Content: Feminist sex shop in cartoon
Cartoon from Questionable Content
This cartoon from Questionable Content, sent to us by a reader who loves our feminist sex shop reviews. I think I've lived the above scenario at least twenty times by now. I am such an advocate of sex shops, particularly feminist ones. I'm also a huge advocate of taking my friends to buy toys. One year I bought a vibrator for everyone as a birthday present (well minus family members).
The whole strip is here.
Thanks to Catherine for the link!
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I loved that strip (: I thought it was really good they didn't just go in to a "usual" sex shop, like in another strip I read.
Speaking of which: Kendall McKenzie, who is a regular around these parts as The Soy Milk Conspiracy, has up a great, long and informative article at Sadie about sex toys, which I reviewed here.
Oh man I love QC
I would totally buy the Daft Punk toy in the last frame!
It's such a coincidence that this cartoon came out this week. Just last Tuesday, my girlfriends and I took a pilgrimage to Good Vibrations in Berkeley to buy one of our group a birthday present, and we all ended up getting matching purple sparkly vibrators. We have since then dubbed ourselves the Purple Sparkly Club, and we have resolved to make annual/birthday/holiday journeys back to Good Vibes a tradition amongst our group. We've even planned what matching toy we're going to buy next.
I am totally going to send this to the PSC...they're gonna love it!
Obviously, I am a huge, huge, HUGE advocate of female-friendly sex shops, and this cartoon really hits home with me. QC rocks!
Miriam, I have to ask --
In this year of vibrator birthday gifts, did you give everyone the same kind of vibrator, or did you personalize the choice?
Pleaaaase tell me about their reactions.
Note: A total vibrator-supporter here.
I've done this before, and I always get great reactions. Once or twice, a friend has pretended that it was merely a gag gift and that they wouldn't use it, but a couple weeks later, we'd be talking about how much they actually liked it.
I usually try to get something that I think will be appealing to the person I am buying it for. Like, something modestly sized for a first timer or something bold or realistic for a friend who is likewise.
One of my friends told me about how she often likes to masturbate in her office, so I got her a little bullet shaped like a lipstick. She loved it, and the funny thing is that she doesn't even wear lipstick.
I actually really disliked how they portrayed the woman who worked there. Why was she drunk and so disheveled? Can an older sex positive feminist entrepreneur not have some dignity?
This is just another scenario Jeph Jacques is putting his "dolls" in to get off.
The reason the sex shop lady is offering champagne and a little tipsy in that strip is because that actually happened to me and some friends once. It was just an inside joke, not some weird anti-feminine thing.
Also accusing me of using my characters as "dolls" to "get off" is just lame.
I didn't have a problem with the strip but your comment bothers me a bit.
It's awesome that you're trying to defend your comic here, but assuring people that it's "not some weird anti-feminine thing" is probably not the best course. I don't think anyone was frustrated by the characters femininity.
I don't think Jeph's making a comment on anyone's femininity; I think that was just a (Freudian?) typo on his part.
While the comment you are responding to, Jeph, is probably too harsh, it is not exactly the case that you have never engaged in fan service.
While I might suggest that it is an unfair criticism, it is not entirely baseless, and I do not think it is an ideal response to dismiss it as "lame".
Nah, lame would be not bothering to set up a table at webcomics weekend even though saying you'd be there. Not like I drove 2 hours to get out to North Hampton. (Not that I wanted to buy any of your brilliant tee-shirts, but my friend wanted to meet you).
Picking on a small point like the way you made sex shops look is foolish of me, there are much bigger problems with your strip.
I mean how can all these people who work menial jobs afford to see therapists?
How is it at all PC that we're just going to laugh at poor hannilore's diagnosed mental illness?
Oh well. Off my lame soapbox.
The reason the sex shop lady is offering champagne and a little tipsy in that strip is because that actually happened to me and some friends once. It was just an inside joke, not some weird anti-feminine thing.
Jeph, I've been reading QC for a while now, and I enjoy it immensely. I don't think you can take these comments too personally-someone is always going to interpret your work in a way that you don't necessarily like or agree with. If it helps, I didn't personally get any sort of "anti-feminist" vibe from this, but I bet you that every single piece of work you do will piss someone on the internet off, somewhere, somehow.
@whaler- I didn't get the impression that the woman who worked there was "drunk and disheveled" at all. It looked like she had spiky/styled hair, as many of Jeph's characters do. (Also, when he is depicting drunk characters, they usually have little bubbles around their heads....). I think that he was trying to depict an older woman who was still hip and energetic. Maybe this was more of a gap between his vision and his artistic skills than anything else.
@sunlit_shadows I'm sorry but she was holding champagne and had these tell tale bubbles you speak of. Not to be a stickler.
I took the champagne as welcoming and celebratory. Like how wedding dress stores have champagne. I like it, celebrating vibrators with champagne is fantastic.
Also, I could be wrong, but I think the bubbles just indicate that she's had *some* champagne not that she's intoxicated. They're gone in today's comic, which seems to indicate that she's not drunk.
In QC the bubbles basically apply to any type of intoxication. I like how the storyline is going, Faye's discomfort this script was hilarious.
Is this what normal Feminist Sex shops are like? Normal smut huts are so awkward with weird people in coats shuffling around and trying their hardest not acknowledge the other people in the store. And if your eyes linger on the video boxes for more than 30 seconds then they drag you into the back room and make you do Algebra until you've worked off your shame quota.
In QC the bubbles basically apply to any type of intoxication. I like how the storyline is going, Faye's discomfort this script was hilarious.
Is this what normal Feminist Sex shops are like? Normal smut huts are so awkward with weird people in coats shuffling around and trying their hardest not acknowledge the other people in the store. And if your eyes linger on the video boxes for more than 30 seconds then they drag you into the back room and make you do Algebra until you've worked off your shame quota.
I do often feel uncomfortable with the artist's portrayal of women. I'm not sure quite what about, perhaps their instability? I'm not sure, but something definitely feels off to me when I read QC. Maybe their entire emotional dependency on the male character's actions?
I really don't know. Something feels wrong to me.
QC has not been all about Martin for a while, it delves into the characters allot.
No, I have the same feeling too sometimes, even though I've been reading QC regularly for years (and will probably keep doing so). It's not an all the time thing, but every now and then there will be some strip that goes "Okay, well, this comic is obviously written by a dude." This is only sort of a minor disappointment though, not some sort of giant betrayal, so I think I'll live.
Actually, I *will* follow this up by saying that I tried to participate in the QC Forum ages ago on a whim and ended up just having to leave because of how incredibly misogynistic a lot of people were (especially in that condescending pseudo-nice-indie-dude sort of way) -- and anyone who is familiar with my internet presence here probably knows that I'm not usually the "just leave quietly" type. I don't really blame any of that on QC's author, though, just unfortunately typical internet asshattery.
Oh god, yeah. My forums have some...not-so-great people in them. I can't actually read most of the comic discussion threads due to the idiocy.
This is a tricky issue for me, because I try to keep any bias I have as a dude out of my female characters, but I'm sure I screw up anyway. Basically I am doing my best, apologies if it is not good enough.
You know, I hear that phrase a lot in reference to various things, and it always makes me wonder what qualities prove that a book, movie, etc. was obviously written by a woman?
I can almost always tell when a painting/portrait of a woman was done by a man or a woman. Usually (and pretty much always for an old painting) if it's a male painting, the woman in the painting will just look like a pretty and/or interesting object. If it's a female painter, the painting will evoke more feeling rather than just 'hey, nice painting.'
That doesn't respond to your question really, I just thought it was interest
Bad sex scenes in slashfic. There you go. =P
I've never been thrilled about Dora's tendency to blithely generalize her personal inability to handle certain kinds of offhand comments rationally to her entire gender, but I know women who do that sort of thing routinely...
Awesome comics! Never heard of it until now-- thanks.
I LOVE QC! This recent few made me really happy. =D
Way to go, Jeph! XP
I love this storyline, and I think Jeff did a great job. I would love to have a sex shop like that around me. Instead the "best" is a well lit room in back of a shoe/lingerie store. One of the staff members is pretty cool, but it's rather... sparse.
Heh. You live in Knoxvegas, TN, right? I am pretty sure that you are talking about the store I work at. I hope you like us enough to keep coming back. :)
This makes me smile because I actually have plans to go to a very similar sex shop in my city tomorrow. To be the one buying my first vibrator. I'm very excited for this.
I know it is our duty to critique even that which is "not that bad." I have read QC from the beginning and it is truly "not that bad" compared with other comics. (I will say that if you want a really awesome feminist comic go read Wasted Talent or others.)
But come on, people. Let's please support this storyline. Faye is a complex character who has gone through a lot. All in all I think the males get the short end of the stick as far as character development goes. The females are far more intriguing, and I can relate to every one of them. Martin? Boring. Steve? An alcoholic. Faye, Dora, Hanners and Raven all spice up the comic. At least Sven is lusty and unpredictable, even if he is an asshole.
I am however puzzled as to why she is so reticent about things like masturbation. While she has had issues with male romantic relationships from the start, she has never had a problem with gettin' down with herself. I know Jeph had to create some kind of tension or conflict in the subplot, but I honestly don't think Faye would have been THAT uncomfortable going to a sex shop with her best friend.
So let's please show some love. This dude really does the best he can and as far as providing complex female characters in the comic world he does an awesome job. What you call "unstable" I deem "compelling." Because that's how human beings are.
I dunno dude. I'm a pretty open person. I'm just as much about batin' as anyone else is. Going in to a sex shop would make me pretty uncomfortable though, particularly if I was with someone else. As I byproduct of this, I do everything the old fashioned way. I'm very much of the "why pay money for those things when I can do it the manual way for free?!" camp. If I did have one, I wouldn't talk to my friends about it...
Haha -- not to encourage nervousness about sex stuff, but I did want to chime in that I am with you on "why pay money for those things when I can do it the manual way for free?!" ;) I suppose one of these days I might get around to going to a good, er, toy store, but I'm not really compelled out of necessity or anything, and would probably feel kind of silly, irrational as that is.
I have waaaayyy too many sex toys partly because 1) I can get them cheaply 2)I keep wearing them out and 3) I am lazy. If I did things manually every time I would have some seriously disproportionate arm muscles.
I also own sex toys for a variety of other reasons. I think you should try to be a bit more open and comfortable. Perhaps you are the kind of person who is very private about their sexuality and there is nothing wrong with that. But it sounds like you might be slightly embarrassed or ashamed. I hope this is not always the case.
There are heaps of reasons a person could be uncomfortable with vibrators/sex shops without it being put down to shame. For starters heaps of the packaging for vibrators are covered in pictures of women with giant boobs, for some people sexuality is something they keep relatively to themselves, the focus on phallic objects in sex shops...all can be off putting.
Like I said, nothing wrong with keeping your sexuality to yourself. That's just how some people work.
You know, some people just don't prefer using vibrators/sex toys. If someone chooses to masturbate sans-toys and doesn't care to go to a sex shop, it doesn't mean they must be embarrassed or ashamed of sex or of their bodies. Personally, the orgasms I get from using my hands are so much greater than any orgasm I've had from using a toy.
Like I said, different strokes for different folks. There are so so many reasons that I use toys instead of my hands, some of which I'm not entirely comfortable posting on the internet.
I'd like to note that in my original post I was doing an analysis of the character Faye in the strip. If you read it, she's pretty okay with talking about "'batin" (lol I'll have to remember that one.) But she is also uncomfortable talking about herself as a sexual being sometimes (ex: not okay wearing short shorts, general low body esteem).
Like I said, COMPLEX characters.
I also like that Dora was interested in buying her own toy even though she and Martin have an active sex life. Just because you're in a steady relationship doesn't mean you can't have solo funtimes!
I'm getting a sex toy because I've never been that big on masturbation (low libido due to medication side effect), and being relatively young, I haven't been able to figure out how I like to masturbate manually. Fuck it, I'll come out and say it: I want an orgasm. I haven't been able to achieve one yet with my limited manual experimentation, so why not try a toy? When I try to masturbate, I end up with a marginally happy nether-region and a sore wrist/forearm. :(
You might want to try the hitachi magic wand. It's supposedly a back massager, but it's actually a clit vibrator. It gives me insanely strong orgasms almost instantly (it takes maybe 1 minute). It's so amazing.
I recommended it to a friend of mine who had never had an orgasm and she got her first one!
Thanks!
I bought a dildo for my sister for Valentine's Day (or as I call it, "Singles Awareness Day") two years ago. In three weeks, when I go to visit her (and see Rent again! YAY!), she's taking me to a sex toy shop to get my first vibrator or dildo (haven't decided yet).
I'm having her take me partly because she knows what she's doing, and partly because she lives in a state where buying sex toys is not illegal, unlike my narrow-minded shitty red state (GRRRR).
Anyone that manages to combine vibrators and Lovecraft on the same page gets an A+ from me regardless of gender.
Regardless of gender?
And non-Euclidean geometry...
I totally agree. I
I'm backing Jeph on this one. Putting aside that I find most of his 1200+ comics to be strongly liberal and pro-feminist, no one can make everyone happy all the time - he just said so above:
"This is a tricky issue for me, because I try to keep any bias I have as a dude out of my female characters, but I'm sure I screw up anyway. Basically I am doing my best, apologies if it is not good enough."
I'm in the same boat, but I feel some people are misjudging his intent here -- which makes the title of the comic series all the more punnish.
And P.S., I've been to the store Jeph is referencing in Northampton, MA. It's tiny, mother-daughter owned, and fabulous. Oh, and there was decidedly some drinking when I visited, too. If you try looking for their website (it's not hard), you'll like what you see.
http://community.feministing.com/2009/01/feminist-webcomics.html
So, if it's OK for women to use vibrators, why is it bad for men to use porn?
I don't think it's necessarily "bad for men to use porn" though I think the wording is rather awkward. I think in general the porn industry which is geared mainly towards men is so unrealistic and vastly exploitative of women that all porn gets a bad name. Unfortunately "Porn is BAD" because many men aren't interested in women other than sex objects. Society in general is royally fucked in this sense from all angles.
Many societies, especially christian based ones want you to think "Men want sex, men are seen as wanting nothing but sex, women are pure and don't want sex". It's all silly bullshit because trying to define people by their gender is just fried horseshit people are going to feed you.
I know plenty of women who are incredibly horny, some who like porn, some who use vibrators and some who prefer manual manipulation. I also know women who are "asexual" or don't like sex at all. It's all based on and individual's preference and it's the lack of understanding of this fact that makes sex such a screwed up subject.
There are both men and women who need to find sexual release. The whole imperative to breed in a world that's no longer so accommodating for such a compelling force can be downright maddening. I mean according to Christianity you should have the mental fortitude to resist the urges to relieve yourself of these needs until you're married but it doesn't seem quite realistic.
Another issue is that a woman's sexuality isn't quite as visually based. Men love to stare at a woman's body. I know I do, even though I feel guilty when I catch myself checking a girl out. I have a particular criteria for what I like in a woman so it doesn't happen as often. But men are going to be interested in porn far more often than women just because of simple mechanics.
So is it bad that men like porn? No I don't think so. But is the porn industry crap for giving men a bad name by turning women into sex objects? Yes. Men fail to see the fact that people are people and have feelings and the girls in porn aren't real. Most porn ends with a guy splooging on a girl's face which is ridiculous, how many girls want that? I know of maybe 1 or 2 who like that sort of thing. In contract it's almost every mainstream video where a girl's face gets slimed. It's unrealistic and I can see where guys get idiotic ideas about women and sex. Real sex doesn't involve ridiculous crap like women wearing high heels to bed, 3 somes and all the other freaky crap that goes on.
So while men might not need a physical object to alleviate sexual frustration, they need proper inspiration. Women on the other hand need less inspiration and more stimulation? I can't give a definite answer to the latter since I'm a guy but that's the best logical conclusion I can reach.
Basically the whole dynamic of sex is one big giant mess and asking "why is one thing okay and one thing isn't" is just a complicated mess and weeding through it all to the truth has taken me a good amount of thought right now to come up with a few reasons. I'm sure my opinions aren't going to be favored by many, but to me that's just my take on things. Men and women will continue to disagree in the sex and relationship departments because finding happiness and balance just isn't easy.