Asian Women's Blog Carnival.
I stumbled across the Annual Asian Women's Blog Carnival via Hyphen and it is a must-read selection of pieces by Asian women. This year's focus is on identity and is an extensive selection of posts about shattering cultural stereotypes, racism and other issues that affect the lives of Asian women.
Check it out now and give them some comment love as this is a very important and exciting new carnival.
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Thank god. I am so BLOODY GODDAMNED SICK AND OFFENDED by white people mocking Asian women (whether East Asian or South Asian), reducing us to sex objects.
The other day I came across an insulting, offensive, patronizing ad on Craigslist; a white man is seeking a "sweet, nice, polite Indian girl" who will be his "Latika." I rolled my eyes, cursed at the computer, and prayed that he gets some crazy, sociopathic Indian woman who will show up at his doorstep and make his life a living nightmare.
Of course in the film Jamal wanted to get Latika away from a life of servitude/prostitution to the male gangsters, but I'm sure the irony there is lost on whoever wrote that Craigslist ad.
My white uncle has always and only ever dated Asian women; he had a typical Asian fetish - he thought white women are too demanding, want too much from him, blah blah blah.
He married an Asian woman who is ANYTHING but meek. She has strong opinions and expresses them often. She doesn't let him steamroller her at all. If he acts like an ass, she calls him on it.
At first he complained and complained ('She seemed so sweet when we were dating!' BARF!), but years down the line, I think he's finally learned his lesson: people are people, not stereotypes. He didn't get what he bargained for, and thank God for that. They've been married for over 20 years now, and he's learned that he has to be a full, EQUAL partner in a relationship rather than a dominant one.
Their half-white, half-Asian daughter kicks ass, too. She was raised to be assertive and self-confident and go after her dreams (she's at MIT now!).
Between knowing his wife and knowing his daughter, his racist shit has gone out the window.
I think it's harder to combat this shit when white people aren't personally involved and invested in the lives of Asians, though. It's easier to learn not to stereotype people of another race when you live with them every single day. On a societal level, it's much trickier.
Can you be primarily attracted to someone of another race without having a fetish for them? You commonly hear "fetish" when describing white men primarily interested in Asian women, but what about white women only interested in black men? Or black men only interested in white women? I was had an friend in Hong Kong who was only attracted to black men. LOL, do you know how hard that was on her?!!
And how do you account for very real differences in culture as part of the attraction? Some cultures are more expressive than others. Some cultures support strong women, others don't. Is it surprising that this would impact how attractive/unattractive someone is? Is that unfair?
It is true that there are many white men attracted to Asian women who have an Asian fetish. I've known some guys like this myself. They believe that the Asian woman will be submissive and bow to their every needs, etc. etc. I don't think they've ever met any Asian women before. Probably got all their info from their yellow fever porn collection.
However, I think you can most definitely be attracted to someone of another race without it being considered a fetish. Personally, I am a white woman attracted to Asian guys. Is it a fetish? I don't think so. In my opinion I think the attraction turns into a fetish when you only see that group of people as a sex object. (Not sure if I'm making much sense lol) Otherwise I believe that people's attractions for others of a different race is simply just an attraction or a preference.
Briefly, yes. Who you're attracted to is partly determined by who you were around when you were little: if you spent a lot of time as a toddler around buxom redheads, you are likely to be attracted to buxom redheads. (And it's not just looks, they're convenient to describe. Scents and personalities tend to follow the same pattern. The stereotype of men being attracted to women that are like their mothers isn't entirely bs.)
So, if, like me, you're raised primarily around people of your own "race," you're more likely to be attracted to people of your own "race." On the other hand, if you're raised around people of a different "race" (as family, friends, etc.), you'd be more likely to to be attracted to people of a different "race."
It only becomes a fetish when you're attracted to someone for their "Asianness" or "Blackness" or "Chicanoness." If you're attracted to "meek Asians" or "fiery Chicanas," or, for that matter, "fiery Irishwomen."
I do think that the term fetish is thrown around a bit much in some circles and that there is a double standard when it comes to dating preferences of white men, but less so for other groups. Other demographics do the exact same stuff, and people rarely call it out.
Also some people use the fetish excuse as a way to disparage whole ethnicities by suggesting that a person is otherwise unlovable or undesirable---the only exception of course is as someone's fetish.
You'll hear something like, "so-and-so has a thing for blue women". What? Why? Hmmm it must be a fetish". Some people are so prejudiced that they honestly cannot imagine why a person would be attracted to a person with certain features or from a different culture.
Thanks for this! I just finished reading The Asian Mystique, and I'm eager to read the carnival.
I major in Japanese and Asian studies, and I've done some work tracing the fetishism of Japanese women back to Pierre Loti and his book Madame Chrysanthemum. It was the basis for Puccini's Madama Butterfly of course, and if you're up for heady reading, I recommend The Asian Mystique and Edward Said's Orientalism to learn more.
I second "Orientalism." Some parts I'd disagree with, but in general I'd say it's required reading for anyone interested in how "the West" treats other cultures.
About, and here has still recollected a case. We drank somehow with Japanese - with parents of schoolmates of our acquaintance (from school we took out children on mountain-skiing base with spending the night, in the afternoon, parents and teachers, with children ran, and in the evening, having put children to bed, gathered behind a table). Well and so. Our acquaintance and my girlfriend sit next, and muzhiks a small group have sat down on the one hand a table, the woman a small group - with another. And on a course of conversation Japanese speak to them: “Well you as a newly-married couple it is direct look!” They ask: “Why?”
Men speak: “Well you here have together sat down”.
They: “And you that, nearby do not sit down with wives?”
Men speak: “Not, never”.
They: “And why?”
And men also speak: “And we hesitate”.
Here such here, the Japanese men...