Daddy Creepiest
This is why I wrote this. *Shudder*
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This is why I wrote this. *Shudder*
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"ask a young girl five or six or seven years old, who would you like to marry when you grow up? well, daddy."
AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! RUN AWAY!
I don't think it's that weird, personally. When I was 5 or 6, I absolutely wanted to marry my Daddy. I also wanted to marry my best [female] friend, and horrified her fundie mother when I told her so. As far as I was concerned, marriage was just being "best friends for life," and making sure that that person would never leave you.
I don't think they mean marrying your ACTUAL father. I think its more like marrying a guy like your father.
That quote was exactly what induced my cringe-moment.
while we're on this topic, am I the only one who find the term "Daddy's little girl" disgusting, gross and creepy?
You are definitely not alone. I think it's one of the creepiest ways to describe a child.
How about something like, "Awesome daughter who makes me proud" or "smartest/most creative/most loving/most talented/etc. girl ever" or simply "great kid?" Why do so many people make it about ownership? And gender? I can't fathom why so many people don't just say they love their kids for many reasons.
And why the hell does no one say, "Daddy's little boy?" I guess boys get to own their own qualities and independence from a very young age. It's an insult to call someone a "mama's boy" because it implies the boy needs support (who doesn't?) and is therefore weak. But it's OK for a girl to be 'weak' this way and need special guidance from her male (natch) parent.
I have a fabulous relationship with my father. He was and is involved in my life, I talk to him regularly. He came to my games and recitals when I was a kid. He knows my friends, he knows what I'm doing with my life. His compassion, work ethic and sense of humor shaped who I am today, in my 30s.
I earned the Girl Scout Gold Award. I had a 3.75 GPA in high school and a 3.9 in college. I have a Masters from and Ivy League school, and I'm currently a PhD candidate.
I also lost my virginity at 15 and have had multiple partners since then... And it's not because I didn't have a good male role model or because I didn't have a good relationship with my father. I did it because I wanted to have sex, and I wanted to have sex with those particular men at those particular times.
Can we *please* stop demonizing "the fathers today?" and can we *please* stop demonizing female sexuality? It's fucking boring.
*Applause*
My dad is an abusive jerk. He doles out insults instead of encouragement. I went to a really good college, too, but it was in spite of him, not because of him. I've had lifelong problems with depression.
I was a virgin until I was in my 20s. At age 34, I still have problems with emotional intimacy because I'm afraid that a man will hurt me if I let him get too involved in my life.
These purity weirdos need to stop assuming virgin = healthy, virgin = good dad, virgin = in control, virgin = the best path. In my life, it was exactly the other way around. You can definitely be a virgin and not in control at all.
The good thing is that once I did start to be sexual with other people, I felt a degree of empowerment and self-knowledge that was like nothing else I'd experienced. It was very, very healing for me to learn what kind of sex I liked, to let myself experiment, to let myself choose sex partners. I'm still working on the emotional stuff, but the sexual aspects of myself are pretty groovy. I wish the purity weirdos would admit that sexual awakening can have a very positive effect on a girl's/woman's life.
I second that. My father is an abusive jerk too. He was also the "policing of his daughter's sexuality" kind, because he loves nothing (and I mean nothing) more than control. If he had stuck with Christianity, I probably would have been going to purity balls myself when I was young.
And I don't talk to him anymore because I don't want to deal with his manipulations anymore.
I'm glad that you've found good experiences in your sexuality, and I hope you are able to continue to move toward what you want emotionally. :)
That's nice to hear. I also have a pretty good relationship with my dad. In fact, we've joked together about the fact that policing youth sexuality is pointless. He snorted in disbelief and laughed heartily when I told him about the controversy surrounding Gardasil and the whole "but-it-will-make-our-daughters-sluts" crap. I've had my boyfriend sleep over at my parent's place, in my bedroom right next to theirs, and my dad made us coffee the morning after. And he helped my boyfriend and I buy the house that we live in together premaritally.
And yes, I'm also an educated young woman who graduated college with a 3.9 GPA, who is working in a great entry-level job and has a healthy relationship with a great man, and not a virgin by a long shot.
Bought Jessica's book. Definitely a MUST READ!!!
Anyway, on the subject of "daddy's girls" , I don't find it creepy in the slightest. Look up child developement and how little girls look to their father's as the male figures in their lives just as little boys look to their mothers.
I'm very close to my father and was close to him all through growing up. I loved every one of his brothers (my uncles) and grew up in a male dominated environment. I had a huge understanding of what I wanted in a mate by the time I reached my mid twenties and am now settled with a very great man. We all have our flaws, (as noted in another comment of mine,haha)
Anywayh,BACK ON TOPIC. (I go off on tangents,lol)
I don't find father-daughter close relationships creepy or disgusting.
It's important for little girls to have fathers that are sensitive and loving. I don't find the term "daddy's little girl" disgusting and gross I guess because I was one.
And of course little girls think they want to marry their fathers. It's not like they're looking at it as anything sexual or anything like a real marriage. All little kids know is that they love their mom and love their dad. They think that is what marriage is about. Ask my 4 year old who he wants to marry, he says "my mommy".... Did I encourage that or teach him that? No. But you have to understand a childs development to understand why they think that way.
I haven't looked at the youtube video yet, I will get to that.
Regarding the Purity Myth and little girls taking the virginity oath and having their fathers be the "keeper" is kinda creepy. I admit.
Sorry I'm rambling....haven't had coffee yet.
Don't apologize for your comments!
Thanks to the magic of patriarchy, many women feel the need to apologize for everything - it's not necessary, and it's demeaning, because you had a lot of very intelligent things to say!
On your points, actually, their is an element of sexual conflict to parent child relations, so yes, the daughter saying she wants to 'marry daddy' DOES mean it in a sexual way, at least unconsciously.
Two words - Electra Complex....and it's male counterpart, the Oedipus Complex.
Americans tend to desexualize childhood, and that's deeply unhealthy - that's why we have purity balls side by side with the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world, and abstinence only "education" side by side with widespread sexual abuse of children, in particular young women (many of whom are abused by - fathers or stepfathers!)
Protestant puritanism had led Americans to have a profoundly fucked up view of sex, and we're a worse society for it!
Just to defend the often, and unjustly, prosecuted Puritans: Technically, most of our sexual (and gender) hang ups come from the Victorians. They were far more anti-sex & anti-female than the Puritans. The Puritans get the blame that should go to the Victorians.
I wanted to marry my cat when I was six. It was completely non-sexual as I had no idea that marriage was a sexual thing or that sex existed. I just thought my cat was cool. I don't think I even realized married couples meant anything other then they lived together.
Anyway, I totally agree. Kids saying they want to marry their parents could be sexual, but is probably not most of the time.
I have a good relationship with my dad (didn't in my teens, but have the rest of the time, and am now 40) and we had a different word for this. Not "Daddy's little girl" but "a chip off the old block." No doubt this is because we're very similar. The main differences are that he is math and science oriented and I focus on languages and arts, plus I'm way more sociable than he is. But otherwise, it's true. lol
Actually, I think it's the meaning that often, but not always, goes with the term, 'daddy's little girl'. It often implies an ownership that isn't felt with sons (in particular an ownership over her sexuality, a sort of jealousy when she starts to date boys or becomes sexual) , not just a close relationship with the father. I dislike the term myself, because of those connotations
As for being natural to want to marry daddy, I don't see that at all with my two girls, whatever child psychology may claim. My older daughter, who is six now, was always arranging group weddings with all her friends, male and female. She would say she wanted to marry me (her mother, whom at that age she found it painful to imagine parting with) as often as she might arrange a wedding with her best under-five-year-old friend. In her world then, marriage was something you did with somebody you loved, male or female - and my little social butterfly loved a lot of people.
Unfortunately, she has absorbed the mainstream view that marriage is for men and women, but she has still never wanted to marry her father, at least not outside of the early group weddings she liked to imagine, and finds it strange when, as occasionally happens, somebody asks who she is going to marry. Everybody knows you don't marry anybody until you are an adult. That said, last year once or twice she said she would marry a particular good male friend, when asked why, she said, 'because we are good friends." How dad, an authority, parental figure, however tender and loving, can be misconstrued with that, I'm not sure.
Anyway, that's been my experience. I had to comment because I am very annoyed by the normalizing of a very awkward relationship between father and daughter, in which the father takes the role of policing and owning her sexuality and, in a sense, a large part of her developing personality. Yuck.
I pretty much second your entire first paragraph and your daughter sounds like a really cool kid.
The term "daddy's little girl" doesn't necessarily denote sexual overtones to me, but it definately implies ownership and a condescending sort of affection that sees her as a little girl instead of a unique person. I think it's great when fathers and daughters are close, but the phrase implies something unhealthy and sexist to me.
But we have the term "Mammas Boy"
Both terms are used to reinforce gender stereotypes.
The "daddy's little girl" is a princess. She's valued because she relies on daddy (the man) to provide for her. Daddy dotes on her because she's "girly" and pretty and sweet and sugar and spice and everything nice that little girls are supposed to be made of
And then the "Mammas Boy" is weak and laughable because he relies too much on his mom (the woman). He's a "pussy" (which is a whole other conversation)
Little girls relying on big strong men = Good!
Perceived weak boys relying on a woman = Shameful
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdM5sDXPu9w&feature=related
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Now this....is a tad creepy. It's about the "Puity Balls".....
I watched that, definitely not my idea of a fun lunch time break from work. It's just frustrating that these people are so demanding of their daughters, but not their sons. It's such a contradiction to focus all of their efforts on only one of the potential partners participating in sex (heternormative sex, of course).
It makes me mad every time.
On a lighter note, how do they ask for their key back. "Dad, can I get my vagina key back so I can give it to my husband now?" It's not about their mind, soul, spirit, or heart. Just their sexuality, as if that's all we're worth.
Dad gives the vagina key to his new son-in-law. Seriously.
This is true. I worked in a well-known jewelry store where we sold a bracelet with a lock on it. People would come in frequently asking if it came with a key to give to their dad who then ceremoniously presents it to the new husband when the time comes. Can you imagine how hard it was for me not to puke on them?? Actually I'm sure it was written all over my face. This did not happen once or twice, but many, many times.
Wow. The people in this clip are working under so many false assumptions it's ridiculous...I can't even begin to type them here. I also just loved how a part of the purity vow was to "embrace purity of mind." Really? Controlling the girl's mind? Wow. I really don't have the correct, sane, under control/uninflamed words to express how wrong this is.
I love how they assume virgins never get their hearts broken, but sexually active women do. That's....interesting. There were plenty of girls in my high school who weren't sexually active but got very upset when their boyfriends broke up with them.
Also gotta love how they equated dating with sex. As if dating a person automatically means you're having sex. As important as sex can be in a relationship, relationships are built on friendship and love and commonalities and communication, etc. Not just sex, if you don't want it to be.
And just an off topic annoyance of mine...I hate how people assume you're having sex if you're dating. I go to college with my boyfriend and we live very near each other in the dorm, and my whole family assumes we're doing it. For the majority of the time we've been together, it was true. It just annoys me how people assume we're doing it and overlook the fact that we like being together and get along very well. Ok /rant.
It's not a rant, remember?! They're thoughts!
Dandelion, I'm certainly not saying it's "ok" for a father to take ownership of his daughter's sexuality. That was my point. Like the Purity Balls....that is beyond what I think is appropriate for fathers and daughters.
correlating "Daddy's little girl" and the meanings that it holds to "Daddy owns his little girl" I never felt that way. I certainly don't feel that way with my sons. My husband calls my youngest son a "momma's boy" should I be offended because the possible connotations?
I don't think it implies ownership at all. I think it means more that they're very close to their fathers. I was and am closer to my father than I am with my mother.
Is that "gross"?
What's that?
Why no, of course I wasn't planning to keep down my breakfast!
:P
Oh -- as to "daddy's little girl," I'll tell you why it bothers ME: somehow it's okay, even endearing to be "daddy's little girl"... fine, nothing at all wrong with having a good relationship with your dad (I'd say it's absolutely a good thing, in fact). What bothers me is that being a "momma's boy" is just about the exact opposite -- for a girl to remain attached to her father is seen as charming and acceptable, but for a boy to remain attached to his mother is seen as immature and worthy of ridicule. Why is it okay for a grown child to remain close with a father, but when it comes to Mom, gotta cut those apron strings?
As someone lucky enough to have the World's Best Mom (no offense to all the other moms out there -- I'm sure lots of you/your moms are completely and totally awesome, I'm just sorry to have to inform you I got the very best one. Just the way it is) and only a mostly decent dad, this infuriates me. I love both my parents, but my mom is the clear winner in this picture. How dare society demean her by mocking a mother's rightful place as a close friend and confidant, well into a child's adulthood! How dare society hint that it's somehow more acceptable or appropriate for me to feel closer to my father than my mother!
And as someone who plans to be a mother someday, I just DARE someone to use the term "momma's boy" around me. Go ahead. Just see what happens.
There is a gender assumption at work here, as I'm sure you already know.
Boys who are close to their mothers are assumed to be sheltered gay boys, hiding behind their mother's apron strings and shirking their manly responsibilities to the broader community, while boys who are close to their fathers are assumed to be following his path into the outer world.
As for girls, being close to daddy is all about being his chaste sexual property, preserving her virginity until he selects a suitable man to hand her over to.
But I'm sure you already knew that.
precisely, people say it in SUCH a demeaning way about my son being a "momma's boy" as if it's somehow WRONG for him to be attached to me and want to be near me. He has to be independent and I need to teach him that way /end sarcasm.
He's not even ONE for f*ckssakes!
I'm not really "apologizing".It's more I don't think I made much sense in my posts.
So, I'll try again:It is creepy in the examples portrayed in the video and in the link I provided. Those examples of "purity with dad" *IS* rather creepy. But I was definitely attached (and still am) to my father. And I don't care to have people link the term "daddy's girl" to what was portrayed in those videos. Not *all* "daddy's girls" want their fathers to be the keepers of their virginity. But some - like me- need a parent to answer our questions.
My dad wasn't the owner of my sexuality. Although he cared enough about me to teach me about protecting myself and being smart. My mother gave me a book and expected me to have everything answered that way. She wasn't comfortable enough to sit down and answer questions.
Thanks for your comment, and I agree that good father-daughter relationships are great. It seems that you are saying that people in this thread think of close father-daughter relationships in general as wrong, and I don't really see that being the case. There's a huge difference between a father explaining the facts of life to his daughter and a father who demands that she pledge to him never to have sexual thoughts until she marries. Which is what the purity ball movement is about.
I had (and have) a great relationship with my father, too, but we never attended any events centered on the present and future ownership of my vagina, nor would that ever have occurred to my parents. I have to admit that I think the term 'daddy's little girl' (which I dislike) applies to these people, with its implication of possessiveness and lack of maturity. Historically, a father did own his daughters in the strictest sense of the word, and that's the reality these people want to bring back for their daughters. Shudder indeed.
I know people who ascribe to the purity ball thinking. Their daughters will not be allowed to date as teenagers, but they will have regular dinner 'dates with daddy' because that's the best way for a girl to learn what to want in her future spouse. Additionally, they believe in 'courtship', a form of arranged marriage where a young man spends lots of time with the dad to earn his approval before the girl even knows that she has a suitor. It's really sad that the father-daughter bonding for these girls always involves a focus on their sexual future, and I have to wonder how they deal with inevitable romantic and sexual feelings when they are supposed to then always think of their father's ring on their finger. CREEPY.
That is certainly what I was trying to get at, and very poorly I suppose.
Father-Daughter relationships that don't heavily delve into "your virginity is my responsibility" sort of arrangements are healthy and natural. So when I think of "daddy's little girl" I think of innocent relationships between fathers and daughters.
I certainly don't see anything wrong with the term. Same with "mama's boy".... There's nothing shameful, creepy, or disgusting about those terms.
They're only "Shameful" when people attach their own perceptions to the phrases. If that makes sense?
Like commenters here attaching the term with the creeps in the two youtube videos that have been provided. Is the term "daddy's little girl" mutually exclusive to JUST that sort of sexualized relationship? Or a relationship that implies ownership?
Why can't it just be a term used in conjunction with healthy and close father-daughter relationships?
I think it's shallow to just say :"ew, 'daddy's little girl' is a disgusting and creepy term" but then offers no explanation WHY they feel that way.
Those are interesting thoughts.
Part of why I don't like the expression is because the adjective 'little' has become such an intrinsic part of it. Just 'daddy's girl' sounds a lot better to my ears. Even for very small boys the adjectives are always 'big' and 'strong'. The emphasis on fragile femininity vs. strong manhood is so present in how even infants are treated, and that bothers me.
When my niece was learning to talk she had a period where she would follow her dad around like an imprinted duckling. She was definitely a 'papa's girl', but her parents would call her 'papa's big, clever, brave, etc. girl' and I think that made a difference in how I see it.
Plus, the term 'daddy's little girl' will always remind me of Marilyn Monroe singing My heart belongs to daddy, which is a song I find so very disturbing.
Ever read the children's book "Love You Forever?" I consider diminutives like "Daddy's little girl" or "my baby" as nothing more than a term of endearment; not an implication of weakness, regardless of the gender to which it's applied.
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be."
Didn't her dad sexually abuse her or something? Or was that her step dad?
When I was 11 or 12, calling someone else a "momma's boy" was a very common insult. But it had nothing to do with how close a boy was to his mother (we all seemed to be as close as everyone else) and it certainly wasn't mocking the boy's mother (definitely uncool). Rather, it was another way of calling someone a baby or questioning his "courage". It was a way to mock someone who was hesitant to do anything "daring" (i.e., stupid) that the other boys were doing, like cutting class or shoplifting.
Yes, because a phrase with the word "momma" in it obviously has nothing to do with moms. *eye roll*
Since I was talking about how I and other boys used this particular phrase and you weren't there, perhaps my knowledge as to how we used it is superior to yours. When your eyes stop spinning around, go back and re-read my comment.
Just because you may not have seen anything having to do with moms in it doesn't mean it doesn't have to do with moms.
Are you going to argue next that "daddy's little girl" doesn't have anything to do with dads?
just....WORD to everything you said.
i found a t-shirt for my daughter once that said something like "my mom is the coolest" or something similar. clearly for girls, as it was pink. *sarcasm*.
there were lots of "daddy's girl" shirts, but, well, i *am* the coolest! and i *did* pay for the damn thing!
of course, i also dressed her in nirvana and social distortion shirts as a baby/toddler.
my fiancé and i have been discussing other terms we will never use. "ball and chain", "hubby" or "wifey", and yes, "daddy's girl" or "mama's boy"....the list goes on.
Wow, that was very Freudian.
I'm at school right now so I will have to watch the video later. But I can't wait for your book, Jessica. My local bookstore doesn't carry it so I special ordered it.
As someone who has worked at several independent bookstores, may I just say: thank you for special-ordering instead of going to a big chain.
I got a call saying my book was in after I posted this. I went down there to get it but it took like 15 minutes to actually buy the book because the computer wouldn't ring it up. They thought it was because it wasn't actually released yet. I argued and finally I got to buy my book. I joked that the computer was anti-feminist so it didn't want me to buy it.
I'm a 24-year-old virgin still living with mom. Take that! I'm better than all of you!!!!!
I find the assertion that little girls want to marry their fathers utterly insane...and obviously, creepy!
I find the assertion that little girls want to marry their fathers utterly insane...and obviously, creepy!
----------
Why?
I didn't find that video all that creepy. I didn't pick up on any vibe that the guy was expressing any kind of "ownership" over his daughter's sexuality. His remark about 4 or 5 year old girls wanting to marry "daddy" was made in the context of emphasizing how important a girl's relationship with her father is. Of course, this sentiment is not universal among girls, as he seems to imply, but neither is it bizarre or abnormal. Actually, the creepiest thing for me about the video was the young woman's remark about why she's not dating: "I don't wanna bring anything unhealthy into my body" Ohhhhkay, now.
Yeah, the young woman's comments about her own sexuality made me sad.
I found some of the comments a little condescending, personally speaking. As I am also a 20 year old virgin who still lives with her parents... I wouldn't call that creepy by itself. It's the attitute that's behind it - that she doesn't want to bring "anything unhealthy into my body" and that she stresses upon the importance of her choices and how they're above all the other options one could have.
The guy's comment about how little girls want to marry their daddy doesn't have to be taken in the wrong way, it could just be an indicator of how much a little girl loves and looks up to her father, and of course, of how important that relationship often is.
Ugh. I showed this when I gave a presentation on purity balls in my women's studies class. Everyone was pretty creeped out.
Yikes yikes yikes. These people freak me out significantly. Sure, I'm a 20-year-old virgin, but it's because I haven't had a long-term boyfriend I feel comfortable going that far with yet, not because I have some misguided notion that "purity" is inexplicably tied to my hymen! Yeesh.
And for the record, my father was an ass, so these people can take their Freudian bullshit elsewhere. Good daddy does not necessarily equal "pure" daughter. And as for purity balls, I don't want my father having anything to do with my virginity, thankyouverymuch.
Halfway through Jessica's book right now. Love it!
Ok, this is a topic that I have a lot to say, so, bear with me!
So, I think purity balls can be creepy. (especially ones with 5 and 6 year-olds!) However, who are we to judge the young women that want to participate? Ok, maybe their fathers are very involved in their daughter's sexuality, and I'm not saying that is great/good/right/wrong. I am saying, what about the women in this world who choose to remain virgins until they are married? And, if those young women want to participate in a purity ball to tell the world all about their choice, great. The part I do find creepy and/or wrong is where the fathers take a very vocal and active role in their daughter's personal choice. Shouldn't it be the mother's job to talk with her daughter about sexuality, safe sex, relationships and so on? I think that it is. After all, our moms have generally been though this before, and while we may not agree with them, they have a unique perspective.
I am not trying to downplay the importance of a father in his daughter's life. (but he is JUST AS IMPORTANT in his son's life too! How else will our young men learn to respect themselves and treat women as humans, no sex objects?) My dad and I are best friends, but he had no role whatsoever in my decision to remain a virgin until I get married. neither did my mother. I made that choice on my own, reflecting on my own values and goals in life.
One thing I am slightly tired of is being ''judged'' by other feminists (not all, but some that I have met) for not being sexually experienced or active. I am not a repressed woman in that sense, I have chosen to keep my sexual activity limited within my marriage, if that ever happens. I was recently in a V-day performance of the Vagina Monologues, and I felt separated from the other girls in it because I was a virgin.
Ok, I'm almost done, i swear!
Basically, I just want to remind everyone that the young woman's decision to stay a virgin is not creepy in itself, it is when a father seems to have control/authority over his daughter's sexuality that it is wrong and creepy.
Have a lovely day!
Elizabeth, you hit the point of our disgust with purity balls...if it's the girl's choice to remain a virgin, good for her. If it's the dad's/parent's choice/force, then it becomes a problem. Feminism is all about women having the freedom to make their own choices about their lives...and it's sad that you feel judged by other feminists for deciding to remain a virgin...
I agree completely. The older girl who was talking was definitely old enough to decide for herself.
Just because a girl/young woman wants to stay a virgin until marriage doesn't mean she's an idiot who's been brainwashed by the eviiiiiiil menz!
Gregory AButler said, "Protestant puritanism had led Americans to have a profoundly fucked up view of sex, and we're a worse society for it!" I don't know about that. Billy Joel said it was Catholic girls who messed up his world: "You Catholic girls start much too late." For some reason no one has yet explained, Billy Joel was right. Catholic girls DID start too late. I wonder how the Catholic succeeded at teaching them that. But that's a whole different subject. The point is that waiting until marriage to have sex and children is absurd. Look around. Sure, there are unwanted pregnancies, but contraception and abortion can take care of that. And so far as there being some fatherless families, women are up to that too. The only group that suffers from too many absent fathers is blacks. Just think how worse their social problems would be if the dominant religion among blacks was that of Billy Joel's "Virginia." In general, we are far better off now than when Billy Joel wrote his lyrics 30 years ago. Its been so much better to "laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints."
"The father is everything"
It's not about the girls - but the men.
Sick, nasty, vomit.
As a father myself, I share dandelionfield's exasperation with the type the father --- we all know the type --- who "takes the role of policing and owning her sexuality." I have never done that and never will. My daughter is 14 and is old enough to make her own decisions. She's dating three guys right now, and I've made sure they all use condoms. In fact, I had to supply them to one of the boys who had never even been taught about condoms or how to use them at school! His parents must be jerks. My daughter knows everything she needs to know about contraception, AIDS, abortion, you name it. I leave the policing of her own body to her.
Troll?
yeah i agree and i have no idea why billy joel was brought into this.
Because there's not one pica of daylight between "virgin" and "whore." You're obviously one or the other.
Are you guys confused? I didn't see anything wrong with what he said.
If you think the clip was disturbing you need to see the entire show about this family. They have a multitude of daughters and the father is In Charge of the family. I really wish I knew the name of it or where I saw it--probably TLC. It would be worth finding. If you can stomach it.
Also--I'm not sure if this is something that happens just in the South where I live--but do you find friends and coworkers and acquaintances happy when they find out they're having a boy because "they always love their mommies" or some other sick bullshit like that. The competition between mother and daughter starts before the poor thing is even out of the womb.
yes. there is a competition between daughter and mom. it's bizarooo. my sister, who has 2 sons, says she doesn't want a girl because she feels she is her husband's "princess" and she doesn't want her husband to have a new princess. 1)Grow up, you're not a princess. 2)Wow, and so what if you have a girl one day, will you resent her?? 3)You can not equate the kind of attention a husband gives to a wife with the attention he gives to a daughter. gross.
I don't think there's anything creepy or wrong about what these people are doing. If she were saying "I'm going to have lots of sex because that's what I want", you'd all be applauding her. Why is it not ok for a woman to make the opposite choice?
Of course it's ok. I think it's great that a young woman takes control of her body and doesn't give in to peer pressure or pressure from the media to be a middle school or high school sex kitten. Wonderful! What's creepy is that these girls put on white gowns, their dads put on tuxedos and they exchange bands and have a party that includes dancing, flowers and a cake. What does that sound like? It is a ritual to claim her as her father's property until the day in the future she puts on another white gown and another man now exchanges bands with her and she's *his* property.
I don't think there's anything creepy or wrong about what these people are doing. If she were saying "I'm going to have lots of sex because that's what I want", you'd all be applauding her. Why is it not ok for a woman to make the opposite choice?
Do you have any intention of actually reading the responses to your questions, or are you just interested in being inflammatory?
Your essentialist language "...you'd all be applauding her" leads me to believe you're trolling and not interested in debate.
The point is about the freedom to make a decision; not the decision itself.
I'm not sure as of yet what my thoughts are concerning this issue. Although I don't think anything is wrong with being a virgin, for I am one myself, I think there are problems when you're not doing it, because you've been pressured by yourself or society. I know that personally, I haven't yet had sex, because I haven't met the person I'd like to share that with- it isn't because my daddy said he wanted me to remain pure or any of that crap.
I take offense to the use of Daddy's Little Girl. As a child, my father always said, "you're my little girl," as a term of affection not ownership or anything. But when used describing this 20 year old woman, it seems... slightly off. Don't ya think?
Wow, could I just say, for the record, being a chick and all...
...and sorry Freud, but you were kind of penis-obsessed...
I DID NOT WANT TO MARRY MY FATHER WHEN I WAS YOUNGER!
(And, ironically, when I did marry, it was to a man in a different race, education level, economic level, and COUNTRY from my father)