Perfection is obviously something I've thought a whole lot about. I have my own little brand of perfectionism--not so much detail-oriented or craving flawlessness in my work (how could I blog?), but more along the lines of having unrealistic expectations for myself as far as achievement (whether it's how many items on my to do list I can expect to check off in a given day or what I am going to accomplish by age 30). Writing a book that looked at perfectionism through a gendered lens really helped me to come to terms with a lot of my less gentle tendencies with myself.
But a few stubborn habits of mind have hung on: I don't take enough time to savor my success. I still think I can do ten million things in an eight hour day. I get far too focused on the completion of a task rather than the process of it, which creates anxiety when I'm working on long terms projects (like, um, the book I'm currently writing...great cold sweats in the middle of the night material). In any case, The Pursuit of Perfect by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar is a really interesting approach to a lot of these issues. He uses his background in positive psychology, plus lots of philosophy (Plato, Aristotle etc), plus real life examples to create a very practical guide to reflecting on your own perfectionist tendencies and developing new thoughts and behaviors.
The main thrust of the book is that there are perfectionists, who reject failure, painful emotions, success, and reality, and then there are optimalists, who accept all of the above. He writes, "In essence, Perfectionists reject everything that deviates from their flawless, faultless, ideal vision, and as a result they suffer whenever they do not meet their own unrealistic standards. Optimalists accept, and make the best of, everything that life has to offer."
It's, at times, a pretty self-helpy read, so if you're not in for that kind of thing, I wouldn't pick this one up. I liked how the philosophical discourse sort of tempered that vibe, and gave me a chance to place my own perfectionism within a philosophical framework. I resisted most of the exercises he recommends, with the exception of a few that turned out to be fairly informative.
I can think of about ten people in my life who should read, or at least skim, this book. Of course they're too perfectionist to think they need it. Alas...
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Does this book talk about how females dwell more on perfection? Because I feel that is true. I see a lot more women freaking out and trying to be at the top and a lot more men just at the top, with little to no sweating it. Of course this is all anecdotal evidence.
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