Amy Depaul talks about her battle with breast cancer and making decisions about breast reconstruction after her double mastectomy. Faced with the option of going to a larger breast size, Amy shares:
I finally managed to stammer a response to the bra inquiry ("It's 34, um, A") and said that no, I'd pass on the augmentation. My answer seemed to surprise my doctor ("Oh" was all he could say at first), and then he mentioned that I might want to mull this matter some more and perhaps confer with my husband on the decision. But my mind was pretty much made up that day in the office. The inescapable fact is that I resist any attempts by others to "improve" me. My husband, for the record, never tried to talk me into augmenting. He is a very intelligent man.Perhaps I wouldn't have been so taken aback that day if I had known then what I know now, which is that rebuilding a breast or breasts after they have been removed in a mastectomy can allow you options for expansion. Hard to figure--you lose much of the skin and virtually all the internal contents of your breast, and yet you can, in some cases, end up bigger than you started. Increasingly, more women may attempt to do just this, since mastectomy rates are on the rise again, according to a recent study by the Mayo Clinic. But patients should know that reconstruction as it is most typically performed might best be described as medieval. It involves prolonged, torturous skin stretching, and anyone seeking to augment will face an even greater degree of pain and discomfort, something I've learned many women are willing to do.
It's a really thoughtful piece about breast reconstruction, self-esteem and cancer. She has a particularly interesting perspective on plastic surgery because she lives in Orange County California, notorious for high-rates of plastic surgery. Check it out here.
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I never understood the whole bigger = better logic. Then again I never understood many things my college friends liked.
If she's comfortable with herself that's a win-win situation. Good for her. Shame on the doctor for trying to lead her to make a decision that she doesn't want.
I certainly don't think anyone should be pressured into any sort of plastic surgery. But isn't it always a good idea to take some time to think about it between when you find out what the reconstructive surgery options are, and when you actually do the surgery?
the biggest problem is generally time. quite often, you only have a few days between diagnosis and surgery, particularly if the cancer is at all advanced. the reconstruction process is best started during the mastectomy. since they've already got it all open, they put the tissue expanders in before closing you up.
i totally agree that you need a lot of time to make the best decision. unfortunately, your health may be best served by not taking that time.
I was just thinking that. This is basically what happened with my mom (sort of- she had one breast removed initially, and when she had to get her second breast removed- a surgery that came up suddenly and had to be preformed quickly) she was told that if she wanted to get reconstructive surgery done that this (during the second masectomy) would be the only time that her health insurance would cover it.
God, I'm once again reminded of how much I love my doctor.
MissKittyFantastico, you might be able to make a case for waiting before deciding. But suggesting she consult her husband before deciding her future breast size? Definitely inappropriately sexist. My husband can admire my breasts all he wants, but he doesn't get a say in my maintenance of them.
I'm not sure I agree about not discussing with your husband.
In my marriage, me and my husband are very close, and we definitely discuss ANY major decision, whether it's regarding money, careers, etc. Heck we discuss tons of trivial decisions. And since I'd consider surgery or any kind to be a major decision, I certainly would discuss it with him. It wouldn't occur to me to not to, though I understand the premise behind it (ie: controlling our own bodies).
Still, if he was in an accident and needed surgery down there, I would certainly expect to be consulted. Having said that, if I didn't like his opinion or he didn't like mine, then since ultimately it's up the person who's body it is, that person would be free to just ignore it. But I think a discussion is quite appropriate. This is your life partner after all and not just some random co-workers.
I think the real question is would he have suggested consulting with her husband if she had asked for an "augmentation"? It's the implication that she made the wrong choice, and all the baggage that drags in.
Yeah, its an odd moment. Since its about boobs and he suggested consulting her husband, its easy to see it as sexist.
On the other hand, I can think of several movies and TV shows where a male or female doctor tells a male or female patient to discuss their cancer treatment with their family (Stepmom comes to mind), and those had nothing to do with boobs or sexism. It seems to be a standard thing for a doctor to advise a patient to talk medical decisions over with their family. The patient doesn't have to take the advice, and as long as the doctor doesn't refuse to change your boobs without the husband's permission, it doesn't seem like that big a deal to me. Of course, a lot of that depends on how he said it-- I can see how this case could have been said in a very patronizing way and come off as very sexist.
It's one thing to suggest talking with your family/husband when making the decision TO have the surgery. It's a whole different thing to suggest talking it over with your husband when making the decision what size to make them, after you've already made the decision. I can understand the doctor's first comment, about "what size do you want to go up to", considering what he must hear all day. But when he asks the question, and she has the wherewithal to say "no thanks", there is no need for him to question her decision like that.
Glad to read this, though, because now I'm prepared for if it happens to me. My response will be, "Of course I'll discuss it with him. But he is free to make his breasts any size he wants them to be, just as I am."
interesting piece... making these decisions is incredibly difficult because there are other things going on at the same time: will you have chemo? what about surgically inserting a port for the chemo? what about radiation? and are they suggesting some sort of flap surgery for the recon? (one of these seriously weakens your abdominals even tho they pitch it as a tummy tuck) and general, OMG i have cancer.
another thing is that techniques vary based on regions, what your insurance pays and how schooled your docs are on the latest techniques.
it's best to get out on message boards like the one at breastcancer.org, where tons of people who've been through the experience offer advice.
meanwhile, there's always the cut-it-all-off approach
advocated here.
i myself went for reconstruction, same size with a lat dorsi (back muscle) flap and a skin graft from my back. found it a successful procedure, and don't much notice the partial lack of a back muscle (and i rock climb some)
You might also appreciate, if you can find a copy, an excellent documentary by New Zealand filmmaker Gaylene Preston called 'Titless Wonders'. I saw it very late one night on tv and found it very beautiful, moving and emopowering.
http://www.gaylenepreston.com/docs_titless.html
The Dallas Morning News had a series written by a local pastor who was undergoing breast cancer treatments. I really enjoyed reading it. My mother passed away from b.c., so, of course, i'm obsessed and assume i'm going to get it, too. it's just nice to read others' accounts and know that she didn't suffer alone.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/columnists/spatterson/vitindex.html
this is a slightly better link. the index doesn't have all of the stories. don't know why.
http://www.dallasnews.com/blcS.sc?start=0&rep=&act=&spon=&adv=true&as_search=&as_epsearch=Sheron+Patterson&as_osearch=&sorder=L&cat=articles&num=100&btnG=Search
My wife had a mastectomy a little over 5 years ago. She decided to keep things simple and not have the reconstruction. I'm under the impression that most of the complications from surgery comes from the reconstruction. Happily, she decided to side-step that potential source of complication and pain. I'm happy she did so!
We still have an awesome sex life; she still looks hot. We have fun with her remaining breast, and her "phantom" nipple, too.
And, as a side-note: she was 32 when she found this by herself.
http://www.feelyourboobies.com/about.htm
Breast reconstruction is the rebuilding of a breast and is achieved through several plastic surgery techniques. The main aim is to restore a breast to near normal shape, appearance and size following mastectomy. My friend who have a mastectomy choose to have breast reconstruction procedure done at Plastic Surgeon Manhattan, NYC is happy with her results. It all depends on your choice what kinds of reconstructive surgery one wants and when?