I know we've posted on a similar old Tab commercial, but I just had to put this up again. Vintage sexism is just so hilarious (in a totally fucked way).
Transcript after the jump.
Woman singing: When you can't be with him, be in his mind...mindsticker.
Man's voice: When you can't be with him, be in his mind. Be a mindsticker.
Men singing: She's stuck, stuck in his mind. She's a mindsticker. With a good shape, stuck in his mind, she's a mindsticker.
Man's voice: Have a shape he can't forget. Tab can help. It's sugar free. How does it taste? Here's a clue. The Coca Cola company makes it and Tab tastes better than any diet cola. Tab has a taste to remember for a shape he can't forget.
Men signing: Don't you want to have a good shape? He wants you with a good shape. It's great to have a good shape.
Men and women singing together: Shape with tab!
Male voice: Enjoy tab and keep your shape in shape. Be a mindsticker.
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For some reason, whenever they say "be a mindsticker" I think "be a potsticker". I don't know why.
Somehow I prefer mindsticker. It makes me think of some horrible cerebral parasite from outer space which belongs in a hilariously bad B movie.
The Mindsticker Menace! Who will be the next to succumb to its deadly embrace?!
Mmmmmm potstickers... nom nom nom nom!
That song was so corny it was funny.
Being a potsticker would be more delicious... hmmm... potstickers.
My grandma used to drink Tab by the truckload. Shockingly, despite how convincing this ad is in its logic, she did not keep her "shape."
I also love how it's implicit that you won't stick in your husband's mind (I assume husband because of the kid and this is the 60s) unless you keep your girly waist. So, you know, it's probably your fault if your hubbie forgets all about your fat ass and cheats on you. Yeesh.
Ha! This is hilaarious! It's just so ridiculous.
I love the dramatic "Be a mindsticker" voice.
Also, I've never heard of ANY soda that helps you "keep your shape." Way to sell SODA, of all things, by banking on women's insecurities..
It's nothing new though, obviously.
A few semesters ago I wrote an essay that was a critique on one of Tab's recent magazine ads that said: “Fake is for last night, not handbags.” I made note that the slogan had little to do with Tab but that it was just promoting a lifestyle. As if you could drink Tab and automatically have this lavish lifestyle.
Bwahahaha!
Thanks for this injection of humor in my day.
The fluttery-voiced all-male chorus singing,
Don't you want to have a good shape
Don't you want him to remember your shape
Have good shape
Have a good shape
I think "shape" was a cover for subliminal messages. If you played the tape backwards, you'd probably hear "Kill the Commies" or "Uncle Sam wants YOU!"
If I don't buy Tab, then I won't be willowy and beautiful, and if I'm not willowy and beautiful then I'll loose my hypothetical superficial arsehole of a husband, and without a man to support me I won't be able to buy precious Tab....
Quick - I have to buy some Tab!
/Advertising at it's most subtle
Oops - that should be "its". I clearly need a delicious, refreshing sugar-free diet drink of some kind to refresh me in the delicious way that only a sugar-free diet drink can...
Nowadays Tab is a Coke-made Energy Drink in case some may be unaware...
So you can achieve mindstickiness by:
a. looking exactly like everyone else
b. prancing around the beach in a wistful manner
c. taking care of a small child... wait, so, given the time period and therefore social context...are you married to this guy? And taking care of his & your child while he's, I can only guess, on a business trip? Tab will help you stick in his mind enough that he'll remember not to cheat on you???
OMG, I can't stop laughing at the song. It sounds like something the Flight of the Conchords guys wrote as a joke.
Oh God, it is EXACTLY like a Flight of the Conchords song. Dying of laughter.