My grandfather to my father, verbatim:
"I know why you're spending so much to educate your son, but your daughter?"

(My grandfather was a piece of shit, through and through, and is dead more than a decade. My sister went to an Ivy and went into financial services. Many years, she's made more than me.)

I go to an all-women's college. Before I started, my friends from home all spit out the same advice: Don't become a lesbian!

At college? To clarify, is your inquiry geared more toward the experiences of and advice to those who right after high school leave home for dorm(ish) living at a college far away?

I can't imagine the examples you cite applying to kids attending college while living with or near their parents or to older college students.

Upon hearing that I was majoring in computer science, more than one individual commented on "how cute" that was and then followed up with "So what are you really going to do?" or "Right, so what's your mommy job going to be then?".

All this happened between 1999 and 2003. = /

It wasn't so much advice, but I was under a lot of pressure to major in something "practical." I did and now I'm miserable and I don't really want a job in my field. It's a very, very stupid thing to do. If you major in what you love you should be able to make it work. I've dealt with quite a few women dealing with this.

Upon hearing that I was majoring in computer science, more than one individual commented on "how cute" that was and then followed up with "So what are you really going to do?" or "Right, so what's your mommy job going to be then?".

All this happened between 1999 and 2003. = /

From my great-aunt : "Don't go up there and get so smart that no boys will want to court you."
From my mom: "If he doesn't like your personality, then maybe you need to change your personality."

Miriam Grossman, the person who wrote "Sense and Sexuality," spoke at my college last term. I don't think I can elaborate any more on how awful that was.

My grandmother gave me a bible tract and Dr. Laura's book "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives."

The inscription on the book read, "Be Good. Be Safe. Be Godly. I know what kind of influence a state school has on a girl! Love, Nana"

Well, I think they were heading this crap advice to everyone - at least that's what I assumed - but when I registered for my first semester of undergrad I was bullied into taking 12 credits instead of 15 so I could "ease into" college life - which was crap, because the semester was full of easy intro classes and I totally could have knocked out 15 credits instead of having to take them later when the classes were harder. It had something to do with their statistics about freshman doing well or getting lots of freshman into the freshman honor society or something. BS

This isn't really advice but when I was assaulted during my first semester, my mother's first question after I told her was:
"What were you wearing?"

my mother told me she disapproved of co-ed dorms (men and women on the same floor) because apparently me and the other "boys" were going to end up making the "girls" clean our rooms.

I was 22 or so when a male advisor at the community college I went to practically admonished me - at the mere mention of my having a boyfriend - not to get myself pregnant until I was done with school.

And while, you know, I can see how he thought he was being helpful, because having a child *might* make it harder for me to finish my education (although I know plenty of women who have successfully gone to school and raised a child at the same time) I was appalled that he found it appropriate to blatantly tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my body.

This isn't exclusive to college, but I am so sick of hearing stuff like "don't walk alone, watch your drink, don't lead him on, etc." without hearing a damn thing about men taking responsibility preventing rape.

"Join a sorority. It will protect you from those angry feminists."

Oops, couldn't beat those "angry" feminists, so I joined 'em!

before i left for school, the woman who led the weekly bible study that i attended took it upon herself to drop this gem on me:

"that's great that you want to get a degree. once you're married it will help you discuss current events with your husband. i just want you to know that you don't NEED a college degree once you settle down."

after that, i dropped religion like a bag of dirt. and graduated, of course : )

As soon as I graduated high school, I moved out on my own. No dorm, no parents helping me out financially. I moved from Indiana to Chicago, got a full-time job, and started school. It's how I wanted to do things. But even after being on my own since I was 17, moving to a strange city all by myself, finding an apartment, having a full-time job and being a full-time student... being an adult, when I was 20 and told my family that I was moving in with my boyfriend, they said they opposed it on moral grounds, but that I had a special circumstance. SInce I was living alone in the scary big city, it would make them feel better if I lived with a guy for "protection;" also, someone in the fam said, "This way you can quit your job and HE can work. You can just focus on school and relaxing." Wow, thank god the prince came to my rescue after 4 years of making it on my own...

This isn't really gendered advice, but I entered college with enough AP credits to knock out a full semester, and part of my degree was a summer internship that counted for a semester - so, in all, I was able to graduate in 3 years total. When I visited my honors program advisor during my second year and was discussing this with her, she said, "You don't want to do that. Once you leave college, you won't get to slack around and party anymore. Let's find some fun classes for you to take to fill up that 4th year."

A) Slacking around? How did I get all the AP credit and into the honors program if I was slacking around?
B) Yes, let's spend another year's worth of tuition that I couldn't afford to waste.

From my dad, "Don't get educated beyond your intelligence." What does that even mean???

The worst advice I got at college was while I was unexpectedly pregnant. I got lots of terrible advice of course (including my aunt's oh-so-charming "You MUST come down to florida, stay with me, and get an abortion!") but the worst regarding school was from the school doctor, who informed me that it was impossible to go to school and be pregnant simultaneously, and that I must drop out/go on medical leave.

I stayed in my classes, aced them all, and was glad for the distraction from the pregnancy. If all I'd done was mope around for 9 months, I would have been downright miserable - school and friends were about all that kept me sane.

Thanks, jackass doctor. This is of course the same guy who asks EVERYONE coming into the med center if they are pregnant, including those going in for a band-aid because they have a cut on their fingers. No joke.

The worst pre-college advice I got was to not go to tech school if I planned on going to a liberal arts college. I hadn't thought of it as sexist (but a little classist, because only poor kids go to technical high schools?) but now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder if my smart guy friends got the same advice? (That's what they told me, by the way. That I was "too smart" to go to a tech school.)

I really haven't gotten any crap at college, but that might have something to do with going to a women's college? (Yeah, Simmons!) The only thing I've noticed was the age old issue with the professor calling on the two male students to help her carry something. (Students from other colleges can cross register to come here.) I was like "uh, I can lift that and I go here, so I know what room you need it brought too".

"Don't walk alone, especially at night."

Got that through all 4 years of college, knowing fully well that (speaking in statistics) I have to fear my current or ex boyfriend or someone having drinks in a downtown bar, more than a stranger in the woods. I didn't let fear of imaginary bogeys keep me from enjoying my walks.

During my four years of walking on my campus in the dark I was never so much as frightened. During my 15 years of walking to and from work, same thing. Every week in the paper in my town, though, there's a story about some woman geting beaten in her own home by her "loved" one.

This don't walk at night thing is just one more piece of nonsense designed to keep women at home, or to blame the victims if something __does__ happen.

Well, i go to a 95% male military school. I applied for a leadership position in my company of cadets. You know why I didn't get it?

Company commander- "I don't think people will listen to you."

Leadership 101- It is a leader's responsibility to find ways in which to get those under him or her to do tasks willingly.

So much for my school being a "leadership laboratory."

From an aunt: "You should major in pre-med so you can meet boys who will be doctors someday!"

From my mother: "When you meet boys, don't be easy. You want to be the kind of girl they marry, not the kind of girl they have sex with." (For the record, I slept with my husband two weeks after meeting him. We've been married since 2004.)

Somehow my grandfather was the only one who thought it was a good idea to tell me to focus on my studies and make good grades while I was at college...I'm told he used to be a lot more old-fashioned (ex: he wondered why my mother bothered to finish her degree after getting married), but after watching all of his daughters struggle through their divorces in the 80's and 90's, his tune has changed quite a bit.

ive heard a lot of the ones that have been mentioned already, some word for word, others along the same ideas:

"dont get too smart now or he (current bf) wont want you anymore!" -grandma (not he wont want to DATE me anymore- he just plain old wont want me)

my personal favourite:

"dont become one of those women who gets all caught up in a 'career' and then doesnt have time for a baby!' -brother (he used air quotes for career, bc he loathes the idea of women having jobs)

"dont bring up womens issues in any of your philo/debate/hist classes or people will think youre a feminist." -mom (and who would want that?)

"dont turn into a feminist!" female friends (ive heard this one countless times)

"dont take any night classes, so you dont have to walk when its dark." -mom. then when i took a night class, "Are you walking home with someone? Make sure you walk home with someone, preferably a guy."

when my bfs college had problems with muggings "well youre not walking around without [bf], right?"-mom (in reference to my visits there)

wow ive got tons, and thats just off the top of my head. im a sophomore by the way, in 2009, at a state school in the US.

Since I'm a theater major I tend to get the typical responses communicating that this major won't help me get a real job. However, last year I was doing laundry in my dorm and got to talking to a guy that lived on my floor and when I mentioned my major he said "Oh, so you want to live on the streets when you grow up? You should marry an engineering major so he can support you with a nice salary." Obviously he was an engineering major.

Also, I recently transferred schools and over the summer when I was telling people where I was applying, some of my parents friends told me that my top choice was "a really good school" and did I really expect to go there?

p.s. I'm there right now, I'm happy, and it's my 20th birthday!

When I was looking to move to Colorado and finish my BA my grandmother told me to move to Colorado Springs (where there is the Airforce academy) so I could marry a military officer.
When looking for gradschools she announced I was too old for military officers and should go to a good medical school so I could marry a doctor.
When telling my parents I decided to change my minor from sociology to women and gender studies my father replied "You're a lesbian?"and preceeded to call me a lesbian feminazi for the weeks following. He also made the decision the same week that I was an alcoholic.

When I was in college and applying to grad schools for museum studies, a asked a female history prof who I had taken multiple woman's history courses from if she would write me a recommendation. She looked at my list of grad schools and told me she thought I was aiming a little high and maybe I should consider other (ie not the top programs) options. I got into five of the six schools I applied for (without her recommendation I might add!) and ended up attending one of the best programs in the country. Ten years later I am still appalled that a PhD in woman's history would give such horrible advice to a female student!!

From my grandmother, as I was finishing my B.A. in English and planning a wedding:

"Why bother doing all that work to finish if you're only going to get married and have a baby?"

Sigh.

I was asked once by an adviser if i was sure i didn't want to major in english education instead of english, because it's much much easier (my grades were good and did not in any way indicate that I needed an easier course load). the male english major that i was dating who shared an adviser was never encouraged to do that.

I was advised not to take upper-level philosophy classes because they're "really hard!"

I consider it important to challenge yourself in college, but my experience was that females are discouraged from doing so.

An aunt warned my mother that if I went to a women's college, I might "turn into" a lesbian.

To which I asked, how does one turn into a lesbian, and so what if I do?

Also, I was advised by my parish priest that, since I was planning on attending a college run by Benedictine nuns, to "Watch out for those feminazi nuns."

Nice.

I was also advised not to go to the local women's college because that was where "the ugly queer girls went", according to my godmother. I ended up going to a different school because it is better for my major and hanging out with a feminist organization here.

As an English major, I am so sick of being asked, "What are you going to do, teach?" Yes, I want to teach college, but you can do so much else with an English degree.

"Practice animal husbandry. Keep your calves together"--maternal grandfather

"What do you want to go to college for? Get your secretary certificate. It's more practical. You won't need it after you marry anyway."--paternal grandmother.

Funny thing about that latter one though. No one was more proud of me than she was when I went to college. No one. She used to send me boxes every so often with snacks and she'd save all her change and send it for the vending machines. And no one was more incredulous and devastated than she was when I had to drop out. She passed away several years ago. I wish she could know that I'm back in school now.

Always wanted to go to be a teacher (probably because my grandparents practically raised me and they were both teachers...you get the picture).

Anywho, I'm changing to Liberal Studies with a minor in comparative religion/women studies.

The first question my grandparents, my parents, etc. asked "What are you going to do with that?"

or

"Why not get a degree you can do something with?"

1. My mother: "Why are you so fixated on graduating? Just meet a nice rich boy and settle down."

2. My father: "Don't do Science. It's too hard for you. Why can't you be like other girls and want to get married?"

3. This isn't quite advice, but I was applying to Yale and my interview told me:

"I'm amazed that Yale is going through such lengths to recruit more women in their student body!"

Not to mention he told me it was "so weird" that I didn't play an instrument, since "all Asians seem to play an instrument well".

1. My mother: "Why are you so fixated on graduating? Just meet a nice rich boy and settle down."

2. My father: "Don't do Science. It's too hard for you. Why can't you be like other girls and want to get married?"

3. This isn't quite advice, but I was applying to Yale and my interview told me:

"I'm amazed that Yale is going through such lengths to recruit more women in their student body!"

Not to mention he told me it was "so weird" that I didn't play an instrument, since "all Asians seem to play an instrument well".

I got a lot of "don't go running in the dark" but the main advice was about getting married. I was told:
1. "Don't come back without your MRS. degree! (jokingly)" -- by my mom
2. Don't go anywhere without your hair, makeup and nails done, you might meet the man you're going to marry but he won't want you if you havent' kept yourself up -- my charming grandmother
3. Hang out around the med school and pre-law classes -- another good line from my mom.

My mother was always yelling at me me about the clothes I wear and the make-up I wasn't wearing and basically my overall appearance.

She was afraid that I would go away to college and since she wasn't there to bug me I would stop wearing make-up altogether. "If you don't wear make-up how will you find a husband?"

Riiight, that's the whole reason I went to college! To find a husband to pay off my loans... rargh!

I got a lot of "don't go running in the dark" but the main advice was about getting married. I was told:
1. "Don't come back without your MRS. degree! (jokingly)" -- by my mom
2. Don't go anywhere without your hair, makeup and nails done, you might meet the man you're going to marry but he won't want you if you havent' kept yourself up -- my charming grandmother
3. Hang out around the med school and pre-law classes -- another good line from my mom.

You're smart, you should go to graduate school.

The assistant manager at the grocery store where I worked in high school gave me all kinds of advice about the "safe" areas in DC. He pretty much told me to only go out in Georgetown. Of course, if you look at a crime map, muggings abound in Georgetown, but who cares about facts or statistics or stuff like that.

This same manager once called one of the other cashiers "dirty" and told her that she was too heavy to work at Hooters, even though she had good boobs. We tried to file a complaint about him (and the store manager was totally with us, to his credit) but the cashier backed out.

When I told my grandfather that I was about to fly from Fredericton, New Brunswick to Houston, Texas, to be one of two attendees at an academic conference and present my Honours thesis, he warned me about becoming and "over-educated little bitch". I love my grandfather, but for the rest of the day every female in my family refused to speak to him unless to tell him what an asshole statement that was (thankfully, I have a plethora of strong, intelligent, educated women in my family and he was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay outnumbered).

I was accepted to a very small, local college on a full ride. I was also accepted to a prestigious women's liberal arts college, with only partial scholarship. As one of the top students in my class, I was invited to a breakfast with the high school principal to discuss my college choice. When I announced that I'd decided to go to the women's college, the principal responded with, "Why do you want to go to a lesbian school? You know that's going to hurt you later in life. If you want to be a language teacher, stick with the co-ed school so people don't think that you'll abuse their kids." The principal refused to announce my scholarship at our graduation ceremony, though he announced everyone else's.

My father, who was responsible for paying for my college education under the terms of my parents' divorce agreement, decided that he wasn't going to pay for his daughter to go to some "hippie, basket-weaving" school, where I wouldn't be able to get any practical job after graduating -- or, even worse, where I might be inspired to join the Peace Corps. He legally disowned me in order to not have to pay.

On the other hand, it was my grandfather (mother's father) who wanted me to apply to to the women's college, and he was over the moon when I got in. He paid for it, while he was alive, and he lived to see the day that I declared my major -- not romance languages, as I had originally intended, but computer science. He understood the value that would come from the unique combination of CS in a liberal arts context, studied by a woman in a single-sex environment. For a man of his age, he was far, far ahead of his time.

"Always get a guy to walk with you if you have to walk across campus at night." My school even had a hotline you could call to get a male escort. Such bullshit. And what if the guy escorting you decides he wants to rape you?

I was talking to my honors program advisor and I told her I wanted to take a Calculus class and she said that I might not want to take that class because it was "too hard" for me, even though theoretically someone in the honors program should be among the smarter people in the school. I was also really offended because I consider myself to be good at math but she assumed because I was a girl that I would find a math class too difficult

While in college, my father dropped these 2 doozies on me:

1) "You need to learn how to cook, because your husband will expect you to cook for him."

2) "Get a boyfriend." (He said this to me a few years after I graduated--in 3 years--too.)

Gee, I've been able to get along just FINE without having a boyfriend or husband to do it for.

While in college, my father dropped these 2 doozies on me:

1) "You need to learn how to cook, because your husband will expect you to cook for him."

2) "Get a boyfriend." (He said this to me a few years after I graduated--in 3 years--too.)

Gee, I've been able to get along just FINE without having a boyfriend or husband to do it for.

I had the kinda compliment experience to those above who were encouraged to downplay their education to make space for marriage. I was tracked by my high school (and family) as brainy and unmarriable and sent to college with the advice:

"better succeed at college because the world has no place for [brainy girls like] you anywhere else!"

I did enjoy my education and continue to work in a field related to my degree, but that "study or starve" mentality i and similarly spinster-tracked(?) women had was not very healthy.

I'm kind of horrified about how much pressure women's families are giving them to marry, not get too smart, etc. How do you deal with something like that?
It makes me really grateful that despite all the pressure to be practical (And my attempts to fix my mistakes) that they've never ever questioned my personal life or made me feel the need to marry to be complete.

(I'm a mechanical engineering major, math minor. I'll be tacking on an aerospace major when I trasnfer)

My mom and the people I'm surrounded by are teachers, generally. I haven't had nasty remarks from them. MY teachers on the other hand...

This isn't advice but its one of the only things that sticks out in my head:

"Since this is a freshman level class, I'll pair [x], [y] and [z] together. If this was a senior level class I wouldn't do that." Guess who x, y and z were? Me and the two other girls in intro engineering class. Read: "Since this is an easy class I'll put you together. If we did any real work I'd put you with the boys so you don't fail." We were then segregated off by ourselves for the rest of the semester and ignored.

I'm horribly pleased with my adviser. Hes encouraged me to go on to grad school, take part in the on campus research, etc.

A professor told a friend's younger sister, a biology major, to give up any plans she had to have children- she simply can't have children and have a fast-paced medical career. In some sense, the professor was just being brutally honest about the realities of sexism for women in that line of work, but still...

Not really advice, but.... My cousin is majoring in electrical engineering and will probably never graduate (he routinely fails classes and is just not terribly bright). He was telling my father that there was only one woman majoring in EE at his university and my father immediately said 'Oh, I would NEVER hire a woman for that!' Gee, dad, you should definitely hire a man just because he's a man. Look how well being a manly man is working out for my thickheaded cousin! How do people manage to espouse sexist beliefs even when evidence to the contrary is right in front of them?

I'm a varsity swimmer at my college and when I told my coach (male) about the inappropriate nicknames members of the men's team were giving members of the women's team (i.e. Little Miss Piggy, Miss Junk in the Trunk, etc.) he told me that I needed to get tougher skin because "boys will be boys" and teasing and giving people a hard time is how college age guys interact with one another. He said at least the men were taking notice of us, instead of ignoring us completely.

I just finished applying for graduate school, and while I was in the process of completing my applications, my stepmom told me that I "could be overqualified" for a job after all that school. Never mind that to even be licensed in the field I want to enter I NEED to have a professional degree.

If any advice was given to me that wasn't from my mother (and my mom is a cool mom), I probably didn't listen anyway. Hence I forgot. lol. Mom gave me a talk about being safe in different kinds of ways, not just "walking down the street" kind of safe. If I had a question I would ask her. I really didn't ask anyone else. She knew reality so she gave me realistic advice and made sure if I was going to fool around that the guy would wear a condom and I would be on the pill so the chances of disease and pregnancy would be drastically lowered to nonexistence. I thank her for being so cool, nonjudgmental, and realistic.

One of my professors when I was consulting him about my desire to go into neuropsychology or neuroscience in grad school (I admittedly have a slightly above mediocre track record in some hord science related psych classes): "It's possible, but perhaps you should consider something else you find easier".
...If I wanted to do things the easy way, I wouldn't be heading toward a complex field with a "learning disability." I like challenges. Get over it.

Though, my I have to say that when I talked to my advisor about my concerns about my track record and my worries about GPA, research experience, and taking the GRE (and the challenges of going through grad school with an LD), he told me that he honestly encouraged me to go forth with pursuing what I wanted. In fact, I found that many of my teachers had better faith in my transcript than I.

Now I am about the interview for Grad Programs that emphasize in neuroscience.

I'd have to say that the worst and most obnoxious advice I have been given was to change my degree because a bachelors in psychology is "useless."

I got the "you won't believe how many boys there are at college!" speeches- apparently going to college is less about getting a degree than it is about finding your one true love.

After I graduated with honors my grandfather sent a congratulatory email to my father in which he described me as "pretty, sweet, and clever". I have a bit of trouble imagining that when the time comes for my male cousin to graduate that he will be described in quite the same terminology.

I went to a small, conservative liberal arts college in Pennsylvania, which - for part of the time I was a student - employed a woman as Dean of Students who was about seventy and had worked for the college for *years*. Her name was Mrs. Paxton, and I blame her for the fact that an otherwise well-respected and academically rigorous school seemed so steeped in the 1950's mentality of the M.R.S. degree.

Just one of the many gems Mrs. Paxton left with those students over whom she presided was the classic line she repeated to every entering freshman class at the opening assembly: "Look to your left; look to your right; your future mate may be in sight."

The college then proceeded to house male and female students on opposite ends of the campus and severely restrict our visiting hours, using handy rules like "Four [feet] on the floor," a shoe in the door, one light on, etc.

This is why I had sex outside and in cars for three years, and why sex in a real bed has never been the same since.

Another women's college grad chiming in. One summer when I was home from college, I ran into a girl I knew in high school who was going to big, southern state school. Somehow she started telling me about about the trends that she was a total slave to ($400 purses, forerunner with her sorority letters on the window, some brand of shoes I'd never heard of). When I told her I didn't know what half of those things were she said "Oh, well it's different for you. You go to a girl's school so you don't have to look as good as everyone else every day." Really?!

And I can second (third?) the "don't be a lesbian/are you a lesbian" comments. Got that 100 times.

Another women's college grad chiming in. One summer when I was home from college, I ran into a girl I knew in high school who was going to big, southern state school. Somehow she started telling me about about the trends that she was a total slave to - $400 purses, forerunner with her sorority letters on the window, some brand of shoes I'd never heard of. When I told her I didn't know what half of those things were she said "Oh, well it's different for you. You go to a girl's school so you don't have to look as good as everyone else every day." Really?!

And I can second (third?) the "don't be a lesbian/are you a lesbian" comments. Got that 100 times.

My parents told me that one of the major reasons they wanted me to go to college was to find a husband. They hail from the old country, I suppose some ideals die hard.

The RA (resident assistant) for my all female dorm floor sent us an email with strategies for deterring an attacker if someone were trying to rape you. Innocuous enough, but it ended with the suggestion that you try and poke the attacker's eyes out with your fingers, which, the email continued, was gross but if you didn't attempt this the consequences would be "your fault!"

No, that is victim blaming. Just... wrong on so many levels.

I guess this is more related to my career than to the university part of it, it comes up whenever people ask me what my major is.

"International Studies? What can you do with that?"
"Work for the foreign service, hopefully. I'd love to get paid to travel."
"Don't you ever want to settle down? It would be hard to have a family when you're moving around so much."

My mother wanted me to become a poet. I majored in biochemistry much to her dismay. Now she insists upon telling me that I should like cooking because "its just like science".

I'm now a librarian and the bio/chem departments at the college I work at constantly complain that none of the librarians have a background in science no matter how often they are told about my background and experience. They still insist upon having their library instruction courses taught by the male librarian with a background in Scandinavian studies.

Computer Science -
I'm realizing how good my parents were, telling me I could do anything.

I got the "there's lots of boys at college" thing but I took it to mean "date a lot of boys, all at once", since it was my mom saying it. She loves my dad but I think she regrets not dating more than a couple guys total.

I got a little special attention from professors who were trying to retain female students, but no easy A's. Despite that, some of the guys assumed I got easy A's, since my grades were so damned good. Sucks to be them, I guess.

Not about college, but while in college I got my first tattoos; the largest is a beautiful one down my back. When I showed my mom (who admittedly is against tattoos) the first thing she said was, "What if your [future, assumed] husband doesn't like it?" Break my heart.

On second thought, when I told my uncle I was a Gender Studies Major, the first words out of his mouth were; "Gender Studies? Thought you were old enough to have figured that out by now! Harharhar." He's my least-favorite.

Worst advice?

"If you go to law school, you're just taking the spot of a man who deserves it."

It came from a high school principal and cemented my desire to go to law school.

When I asked a male professor for an extension on an assignment in advance and with good reason, he replied: "You know, you're going to have to learn to be more organized so you can run a family and a household some day."

WTF? Gag me!

I've never been sure if this was an instance of sexism or not:

I was always sort of leaning towards majoring in math, but I was taking a lot of other classes too. One day I wandered into the math office and said I was thinking of doing the major. I sat down and talked with a man who was some sort of adviser. He asked if I was interested in teaching, and recommended the math education major. The thing is, I WAS somewhat interested in teaching, and maybe I came off as unsure about what I wanted to do... But I always wondered if he would have brought up that same line of suggestions to a guy. I found out after one course that the math education major was a super easy joke, and I switched to the pure math major.

Anyway, other than that I can't really think of any sexist advice, honestly. Everyone in my family is big on education. My grandmother always tells me things like modern bathing suits are too revealing, but I tend to tune her out.

I was morbidly obese when I began a diet that would lead into anorexia and bulimia. Because I was on the student health insurance plan, I had to see one of my college's psychiatrists who would then refer me to counseling. I saw him after I had lost some 140 pounds in about eight months. I was still technically considered overweight, but it was nonetheless an alarming amount of weight to lose in such a short amount of time, especially considering how it was achieved. He was rude and put me on the defensive, questioning superficial things like my eyebrow piercing and choice of clothes. Finally, he said, "Yes, you still have weight to lose." I left the office, promptly lost another 20 pounds in the next three weeks and never did hear from or seek out counseling services on campus.

I am a high school senior going to a small, politically liberal, Liberal Arts college in the fall. Earlier this year, I cut my hair short and pierced my nose.
Response from my mom: "I guess the next step is for you to become a lesbian when you go to *name of college*."
Little does she know-- I'm just not out to her!

"Don't go to Trent [a school in Ontario], it's full of lesbians!"

On living in a coed dorm with coed bathrooms: "Sooo, what do you parents think about that? I'm surprised they let you, boys are so smelly and rowdy!"
Apparently I need to protect my delicate femininity, and I'm also supposed to let my parents make all of my adult choices for me.

Actually, some of the crappiest college advice I've seen was on the Feministing community blog, when juliagoolia asked whether she should consider going to a woman's college. She was told by one poster that he probably would not hire a woman's college grad because he didn't think they had enough experience dealing with men, and by another, who very courteously didn't want to start a "flame war" but then went on to say that in his headhunting experience, most companies didn't care to hire to hire such grads because they were snotty, combative, etc. By that time, I had gotten tired of the whole mess, but wish I had pointed out that a very large percentage of women's college grads get accepted to top-notch grad schools, law schools and med schools, and future employers seem to have no problems with that.

I was forbidden from attending the University of Pennsylvania because my parents "knew someone who knew someone whose daughter was raped" on that "very dangerous" campus in the "ghetto."

I got into Penn, but attended the in-state Big 10 school (where there were probably many more rapes, just in a cornfield rather than in Philly).

When I wanted to change my major from Engineering to Theatre, my parents nearly disowned me. Dad: "Doing theatre is a waste of your intelligence." Even though I knew a couple months into school that would be the right choice for me, they asked me to stick it out one more semester and see which one would "win." That resulted in the most stressful 13 credits ever, with me getting a C in Organic Chemistry (shocking for my straight-A self) while working 6 days/week on the musical.

My advisor, on the eve of my graduation: "You'll be tired of theatre within 5 years - you're too smart for it." Turned out he was right - I stopped about 5 years later and am now in grad school for something else, but what a thing to say right before graduation! (I in no way regret starting my career in the theatre -- invaluable experiences!)

At least I had it better than my mom. Her dad was an architect but refused to let mom go to college to become one herself. She could have totally done it (honors math in HS... she majored in Art Education instead and wound up getting her MBA at age 50). Except for being non-plussed with the theatre thing, my parents raised me with the belief I could do anything I put my mind to.

If I were able to give myself some advice, in hindsight, I'd say "Don't get too freaked out on the first day of that class you tried to take at the Sorbonne while studying abroad. Stick with it."

I'm stunned by the comments expressed by some of the posters here.

My advice was the exact opposite (though instead of gender, there was a bit of racism involved):

--DON'T have a boyfriend; focus on your studies
--Begin thinking about graduate school even as a Freshman
--Do not become distracted by extra-curriculars, sports, community service and sororities the way "The Americans" (read: European-Americans) do. "The Americans" care about those frivolous things (translation: life-enriching, "whole person"-crafting endeavors) but don't excel academically; don't follow their lead.

My parents are immigrants from a country in which it's expected that all but the wealthiest women will join the workforce and remain in it. "The Mommy Wars" are unheard of, and it is assumed amongst the middle classes that a man will NOT want a woman without a degree and amongst the low-income classes that men will NOT want a woman without a viable trade (domestic service; a fruit and vegetable stand at the market; etc). My mother and all of my aunts and female cousins on both sides have graduate degrees...and, ironically, the only one who is not putting her degree to use outside the home is my mother, the one who moved to the U.S.

"You should go into a career that will let you take time off and work from home, for when you have kids."

Also:

"Get your degree from a school with a national reputation, so if you marry someone from another state and have to move it will carry more weight there."

And finally:
General advice about getting to know boys, not overlooking rich frat guys, etc.

My otherwise supportive mother, when I told her I was planning to add Studies in Women and Gender as a double-major to my English degree, hesitated before fearfully whispering, "are you a lesbian?" And often when I told a guy at the college about my major, I’d get, “Women's studies? Heck, I study that every day!”

Mom also gave me the same advice other posters have received about not walking alone. She was obsessive about making sure I kept my door locked at night (dorm and apartment), and she was particularly afraid that I might get "slipped a mickie" at a party, advising me to open all my own drinks or watch them be poured in front of me. I have two brothers -- as far as I know, neither of them got any of these pep talks.

Oh, on the better side:

"Never do a boy's laundry."
-My Mom

Oh, on the better side:

"Never do a boy's laundry."

And

"Don't get married until you have a degree."

-My Mom

People told me boyfriend not to "let me" go to the woman's college I'm a freshman at now because I would turn into a lesbian.

My parents advised me to not take a year off between high school and college because I'd "never go back."

Since then, I've regretted not having the experience of traveling, working abroad, and so on that others have had, before going back to school.

My parents struggled to get their college degrees as I was growing up, so I know they spoke from their own experience of marrying young and avoiding college--but I wish their advice had come from knowing ME better, and going to college wasn't something I would "put off" indefinitely.

Also: telling people of all ages that I was studying creative writing and art history got a lot of this response: "So, you want to be a teacher?" Um, no, I actually want to write.

I'm a senior at a small liberal arts college, and I've lived in the same large on-campus apartment these past two years. There's been a big controversy over the university implementing gender blind housing over the past few years, with a lot of the arguments centering around "if we let boys and girls live in the same rooms, they'll inevitably sleep together!" (obviously!)

Last year we were one of the first apartments to be mixed gender, with two boys (one of whom was my ex) and two girls, though one of us is gender-questioning. My parents were concerned by this arrangement, and a lot of people thought it was really weird. Everybody seemed to think that some sort of drama would inevitably rise from boys and girls living together. (Note that we were all either straight or some variation of bi). Turns out, we were perfectly fine, with the most tension rising from my ex and other female roommate being much more particular about housekeeping issues than myself and our other male roommate.

This year, I'm living with four girls. My parents are relieved, everybody seems to think it's much more "normal." Guess what? They're now all coupled off with each other besides me! It's awkward! I love my roommates, but I'm not so fond of feeling like the fifth wheel and worrying about one of their relationships exploding in a horrible mess. (This is a big problem in campus housing, since it's all but impossible to change rooms in the middle of the school year.)

So fuck that gender essentializing, heterosexist shit. There is NOTHING that inherently makes living with guys, even straight guys, more or less problematic than living with girls, and I feel retroactive annoyance at everyone who told me so.

I went to the "guidance" counselor my senior year of high school (1970.) He told me that I had good grades in my typing class, so I could become a secretary. When I pointed out that I also had A's in my advanced biology class, he said, "Oh, then you could become a nurse."

When I was registering for classes my Sophomore year of high school an official told me that I did not need to take four years of Spanish because only people who are going to college to do that. I'm graduating from college this spring with a BA in Political Science and a BA in Law and Justice. What I would give to run into that jackass...

You mean aside from my sister's asshole boyfriend who said I was wasting my time getting a degree because my real vocation was to be a stripper since I had "great big boobs"?

Or the assholes in college calculus who said women should not take math because we are not good at it, and got SO pissed because I had a 98% average, much better than any of them?

OK, I was a bio major at University of Washington. There are two bio programs; one for a BA that basically equips a person for teaching up to the high school level and nursing school, the other for a BS that is for everything else - grad school, medical school, tech careers, etc. My faculty advisor told me, unsolicited, that I should go for the BA because it's an easier program and, being a woman, I would naturally want to get married (I'm a lesbian) and have children (I knew since I was about 13 I'd never have children) and could not commit the time and effort to a tough program.

I'm a math major. When I tell other people this, the thing I hear the most (after "Wow. /I/ could never do that") is "So you're going to be a teacher then? That's /great/."

Pre-College: I worked in a retirement home, where I heard,
"What does a pretty girl like you need to go to college for, anyway?
"Don't you have a boyfriend here?"
"Don't get more educated than any of the men you date, because they won't be interested in a girl who knows more than they do. Then you won't be able to nab a good husband."

In college: I'm a gender studies major and work for several feminist causes on campus, which leads to these little gems:
"What are you going to do when you graduate? Become a lesbian?"
"Don't come off as too much of a feminist- you'll scare all the good men away." (Obviously, the good men are anti-feminist, right?)

I honestly don't remember any sexist advice, although I'm sure there was some.
My father didn't believe I was a mechanical engineering major. He thought I was just kidding about it, then proceeded with the jokes about finding an engineering man. But now he's beside himself with pride about having an engineer in the family.

In my senior year of high school I had a meeting with my advisor (Mr. R) because I was having trouble deciding between 2 colleges. My advisor then proceeded to tell me that I should attend the richer college because I'd have a better chance of finding a rich husband.

I was already in college for two years but I had to go to the main campus to finish up my degree. Due to gas prices and the schedule doesn't exactly work with my dad's work schedule (he works near the main campus), I have to live on campus. My family didn't have a problem but my fiance's family did since we're getting married in 5 weeks. Basically they told me it was stupid for me to live in a dorm while married cause I have to live with my husband and there is no reason to live in a dorm unless you're still looking for a significant other. My fiance rolled his eyes and stated he didn't care if I lived with him or not, as long as I got my school work done. The school is about an hour away from both of our homes.

In college just a year or two ago I decided to pursue a women's studies minor. I was told more than once that I shouldn't do that if I ever wanted to get a job and/or date again.

If you want to go way back when...in fourth grade (1996) my teacher recommended me for the lowest level math class, which my mother opposed because I scored in the top 10% in math. According to the teacher I was too cute to take hard math classes.

In spring 2007, I was considering my options for grad school and trying to visit as many of the campuses on my shortlist as possible. As my mother and I were making our way to York University in Toronto, we asked a transit cop which bus to take. His response, after telling me which bus and asking why I was going to York, was to inform me that there were three "active" serial rapists in the vicinity of the campus, and I should really consider the University of Toronto instead. "And besides," he said, "Shouldn't you be working on your MRS degree?" My mother was like, "Right... we're done here."

a number of my friends have been told by moms, aunts, and grandmothers: it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one! (subtext: the exorbitant tuition we pay is really just the access fee to the wealthy potential husband pool.)

I actually had a different experience, I rejected free university classes to attend a local college that had programs in my field of interest. My father saw no future outside of having a useless degree in a field I wasn't interested in.

i go to a women's college as well, and along with all the, "wait, you're not a lesbian, are you?" conversations, when my high school principal found out where i was going he told me i was going to go to school and learn how to "drink tea" and come back "all feminized" and "snooty". you'd better believe i set him straight.

Oh, but on a happier note, the pre-law advisor I spoke to a few months ago (male) had some better advice.

I was a woman entering law school, so I had better be prepared to tell people who had problems with that to fuck off.

Nice to know some advisors actually give good advice.

This wasn't really advice, but it was shitty nonetheless. I was opening a student checking account at the Chase bank near me, and the guy helping tried to make small talk by asking where I went to school. After I told him, he said "nursing or teaching?" ... like those are my only two options.