I met with some great college students the other day doing a feminist term here in NYC with Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards. It was a great chance to reflect on what it really means--on a daily basis--to be a working feminist writer and activist. Then I saw this great post from Girl with Pen's Laura Mazer. Now I'm inspired to give you my own day in the life. This was actually last Monday, when I was trying to get a sense of how I was using my time/energy after an interesting discussion about just that at our feministing retreat. It's not typical of every day. Every day is really different for me. But at least it is one day, one version of the nitty gritty in my world. I'm hoping that others will be motivated to add theirs to the community blog (scientists! social workers! carpenters! whoever!) so we can all learn from one another.
8:30. Kiss boy. Drag my ass out of bed and eat English muffin with peanut butter. Go to yoga. Drop by the bank to deposit some checks that finally came in and grab some fruit at the deli before heading home to put my nose to the grindstone.
11:00. Write a feministing post on the NYT Sunday Magazine piece "What do women want?" Resist the impulse to read what every single other feminist blogger said about it so I can actually respond in a fresh, organic way.
12:10. Read email while eating leftover soba noodle and veggie soup from yesterday's overpriced sushi order.
12:55. Type up my chicken scratch notes from an interview I did the Friday before with Living Liberally founder Justin Krebs. Part of the book I'm working on profiling people under 35 doing interesting social change work.
1:30. Revise a speech I wrote on for the president of a women's organization. Ghostwriting is weird. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about the ethics of it, though the pay is nice.
2:00. More email. God damn email black hole.
2:30. Write pitch on an op-ed and send it to the NYT knowing that they will inevitably, as they always do, reject it. Then get it shaped up to pitch to places where I have great relationships with editors.
3:20. Work on a proposal for the National Women's Studies Association conference on the connection between feminist blogs and women's studies, send it to the feministing ladies for perusal and additions.
3:45. A producer from Nightline calls about Barbie's 50th anniversary. I try to sound smart.
4:00. Email. Again. (Young women who want to write email me for advice. My mom emails me about her upcoming knee surgery. My writer's group emails me about new members. My best friend from home emails me about running into our long lost crush from nerd camp at a bar in Denver. Feministing editors email each other about topics for the week and how much fun our retreat was...)
5:30. Finally step away from the computer and to a friend's novel--still in galley form--that I'm devouring. Snuggle with Kima (who is not a very helpful worker as you can see from above pic).
6:30. Work on an award application after prompting from friend whose connected to the awarding organization. Feel kinda good about some of the work I've been doing when I see it all lined up like that. Dinner.
8:00. Watch stupid TV and try to get both email in boxes to less than 25 each. Boy comes home. Kiss him again.
11:00. Daily Show.
12:00. Snoring.
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Justin stayed at my house during the Republican National Convention. Hope he didn't inhale too much tear gas. A fun person and fine house guest.
I want your job.
Thanks for sharing this Courtney! It's so helpful to see how other people do it, now that I'm also jumping into a self-scheduled freelancing world.
Gotta love how her man is reduced to a couple sentences. The cat gets more ink, and gets mentioned by actual name.
"Boy" is a loaded term to those of us with men of color in our lives.
I vaguely remember that your boyfriend is Black, which makes that so much worse.
Thanks for the reminder of the history of the term Nestra. I certainly didn't intend to use it in that context.
I actually refer to a lot of my friends partners, male and female, as boy or girl as a sort of tongue in cheek, "Go see about the girl." "How's the boy?"
I haven't thought about the racial implications of that in my daily humor, and now I will.
I'm not from America / English is my second language; can anyone fill me in on the racist connotations(?) that apparently make it problematic to use the term boy?
Hey Felidae,
In American racist history the word "boy" was frequently used to describe/address men of color in a way that belittles them. It was directed at grown men who are obviously much older than "boys." It treats them as inferior, etc.
I definitely didnt read Courtney's usage as in a similar vein because i hear a lot of women in hetero relationships call their S/O "my boy" just as sort of a funny/cute term of endearment. but its good to remember the connotations too.
Isn't in amazing how a virulent racist such as Courtney manages to maintain a seemingly happy romantic relationship with a Black man? Thank God there's people like you out there Nestra to stand up for the rights of her boyfrie--err, I mean "man" friend. I'm sure he's absolutely touched.
Suggesting based on the word alone that Courtney's use of the word "boy" is somehow demeaning to blacks misunderstands what's actually demeaning to blacks. Spend 15 minutes around black folks. Most black people throw the word "boy" and "girl" around like "sister" and "brother".
If she was an older white man referring to a older black man it'd be different. But she's not.
Hi Courtney,
I figured that you lead a busy lifestyle.
I emailed you a year ago when I first started reading feministing. One of your posts particlarly spoke to me and I emailed you about a problem I faced.
I just wanted to again say thank you. I am very grateful that you took the time to email a very thoughtful reply to someone you didn't know. It made me feel appreciated somehow. And your response came as a little light for me.
So, thanks again and truly, thanks for all you do. I always look forward to your posts.
That's so nice to hear, thanks!
Hi Courtney,
I figured that you lead a busy lifestyle.
I emailed you a year ago when I first started reading feministing. One of your posts particularly spoke to me and I emailed you about a problem I faced.
I just wanted to again say thank you. I am very grateful that you took the time to email a very thoughtful reply to someone you didn't know. It made me feel appreciated somehow. And your response came as a little light for me.
So, thanks again and truly, thanks for all you do. I always look forward to your posts.
I don't know why this post struck me in the wrong way. Normally if a post irks me, I just shrug it off and let it go because I really like coming here an reading and don't like being a voice of dissent.
But the thing about this post is, I guess, why is it here? on feministing? Because yeah I guess it's nice to see how one of the feministing writers spends her day, but to be quite honest, all it made me feel was horrible for the fact that lately i've been spending my days working 12-days for barely any tips and then searching craigslist and driving half and hour out of NYC to go to my job because i can't find one to save my life here in the city.
And about how the economic crisis is really, really affecting people. People that I know, people that we all know, and I come on feministing, which normally has some sense of social affairs, even if occasionally there are some class oversights.. and i get to see how a writer goes through her day in what i would enviously suggest sounds like a pretty sweet deal. and then see her kind of kiddingly complain about it. when there are people reading your blog that can't find ANY job right now.
I don't know, I don't mean to knock you, I appreciate all that you do, I really do. I guess just timing and context. this is really not something I needed to see on feministing right now.
I'm obviously not Courtney and don't know her personally in any way, but my work is pretty similar to what she describes. It doesn't make it any less work, and if what she does is anything like what I do, a lot of the hard stuff is hidden simply because our lifestyle is so different from, for instance, yours.
People like Courtney and I are incredibly lucky to be doing something we love, for sure. But it's still work.
I know this will probably sound defensive but I really don't mean it that way. And I thought Courtney's joking complaint was more of a way to commiserate with the rest of us, since we all have difficulties in our work - some more than others, obviously, like you more than Courtney.
waxx ghost, i never meant to suggest that it's "not work", just that it's a different kind of work, that given this economy, is privileged and rare. and i would suggest, because i have been both a writer and now i am a waitress/bartender - that there are differences between the two jobs that are important to recognize. working with people, standing on your feet, commuting over 30 min each way, having to flirt with men for tips, etc.. these are all realities of my daily work experience. so forgive me if i don't see the word "work" in the some kind of unilateral conceptualization - yes, writers and bloggers and anyone else that has a job like this one - it's work! i was never trying to discount how hard courtney works, and i believe the work she does is incredibly important. but it is a very different kind of work. that's all. and my point was that the step-by-step "here's how i spend my writer's day" really bothered me because not only am i jealous (of course) but because i thought the timing and the context (huge economic recession) were a bit off, and i didn't see the point of having it here and now on feministing..
A friend and I had an argument a long time ago over whether his job - a mentally challenging but not physically challenging one where he helped people with their computer problems - or my job (Burger King at the time) was more exhausting or worse in general. We never came to a conclusion. But there definitely is privilege in what people like Courtney and I do, if just for the simple fact that it is something we love to do.
I certainly didn't want to take anything away from what you said because I think you've made a lot of good points... I was just pointing out the other side of it. Maybe I shouldn't have, though.
Don't you think its unfair to complain to someone else because, as you put it, you're jealous?
I've been a waiter & know the drill, but its nice to read about someone who's blessed to have a career, even if a lot of us would be blessed to have jobs. Heck, its like reality tv, I'd watch it except that I have a real life; I watch tv because I want an escape.
In this economy I'm personally happy that people have careers & I want more people to have them. Their stories are encouraging.
I really don't think it's about jealousy, although of course jealousy is there, as I'm sure it is for many reading.
For me, my original comment to this entry was about context and timing. And the posting of this "blessed" day in the life (as you put it) was not contextually situated. And for me it was more of a personal reaction - the economy is bad, it's bad for me, it's very bad for those around me, i see it happening. I'm sure others see it happening. And to come onto feministing and see a post like this, with no context or anything, was really off-putting and made me wonder what the point of it was.
I don't think I was complaining. But I also don't come to feministing to "escape". I come here for news and opinion on social, political, and economic feminist affairs and that's why I took issue with the post.
I'm sorry it made you feel that way holmes. The post wasn't intended to be some sort of arrogant display of my day. As I said in the intro, I'd like to hear how others' days are composed in many different professions. I think privilege comes from secrecy and I was trying to be open about what one real day was like for me for those who are interested in the fields I work in. And remember, I probably make a shitload less $$ blogging than you do waiting tables. It's not a judgment call; just don't assume that all of these activities translated into big bucks. I'm feeling the recession too.
thank you for the response. and what you said, 'I think privilege comes from secrecy and I was trying to be open about what one real day was like for me for those who are interested in the fields I work in' - I very much appreciate that. And I'm sorry if my rant was off topic. For me it was just kind of a "last straw" deal to come home at the end of a 12-hr day making hardly anything in tips to come onto read feministing and see how nice it must be to be a writer..
but i didn't mean to discount your work. as i've said before, i love your work and i think it's important. it was just my instinctive reaction and i *had* to post this time by dissent, because the economic crisis has hit so hard, (and just keeps on hitting...) and i would love to see more about local economic issues on feministing..
but seriously thank you for your thoughts.
I actually wrote about what my life is like a couple of months ago. I've been very very lucky to be able to take a little time after my graduation where I didn't have to look for my third job yet, but soon the loans are going to come due and it will be crazy for me again.
Your day sounds a lot like mine, though, Courtney. Do you ever tell your friends that you need to go work and have them act surprised, as if having a job with such flexible timing means you never actually have to go work? (I do.)
Ooh! It's a kitty! How cute!
http://xkcd.com/231/
I certainly appreciated this post. I've always wondered what it is that writers and bloggers do if they don't have other day jobs, and while I do get envious sometimes, I also recognize that the average day as described above does not pay much money (or so it seems).
Would I rather be a full- time writer and activist than a software developer? Of course, but only if I could pay my bills and build up some savings.
The fact is, we all have different lives and different means of earning a living. Courtney helps provide a free service that I enjoy so I definitely won't complain.
Hmmmm..... my day usually goes a bit like this:
6:45- Up for the day
7:00- Get dressed/get kids dressed/breakfast/feed dog and cats
8:00- Bring kids to daycare
8:30-1:30- Go to class (M,W,F; T,Th 8:30-2:30)
1:45-5:00- go to work. Write plans, do monthly progress notes, filing, follow up with staff, etc...
5:00-pick up kids from daycare.
5:30- make dinner or decide to be lazy and pick up take out
6:00-play with kids, catch up on blogs, etc...
8:00- Kids to bed, start homework.
10:30 or 11:00, head to bed.
*I also work late a couple of days a week, taking individuals into the community to help them work on skills like budgeting or safety.
Time with my husband is generally interspersed depending on his work schedule. Sometimes we meet for lunch if schedules allow. He works a lot though! Usually 55 or so hours a week, 6 days a week.
I think being a writer would be extremely interesting and rewarding, I've just never really spent the time I would need to invest into becoming a truly good writer. I need to decide what I want to do when I grow up!
Gee Courtney, I'm so glad that you get to go to your yoga class, eat that so-overpriced sushi, and start work at twelve, and the worst thing for you is that you get oh so much e-mail.
Lessee...I lost my job in November. I have had to put small 700 sq ft condo -- which I could barely afford before losing my job -- up for sale, and it is sitting on the market and continuing to bleed me money from mortgage and condo fees, and I will be lucky if I get back 60% of what I paid for it, and most of that will go towards paying off the mortgage. In the meantime, me and another person are renting rooms from a woman who is convinced that we are poisoning her pets, and I'm now looking for an apartment that I can't afford, and good luck with me getting one being unemployed.
I'm staring having to move in with my father in the face -- pretty pathetic that a 50-yo woman has to think of that -- and raiding my 401K for money to live off of.
Yeah, me, (formerly) lower-middle-class and quickly heading for poverty. I have no sympathy or interest in your kind of feminism. Your privilege is hanging out the wazoo. Howzabout you think of eating ham-and-cheese sandwiches instead of sushi and doing yoga in your home, and donating that money to your local homeless shelter or soup kitchen.
oh please, you got yourself into a financial bind by buying property you could barely afford. how would you like to hear "stop waving your property owning privileged problems at me"?
yes, your situation sucks but that is hardly reason to jump on someone who currently able to get by.
You own your own condo and have a 401k but claim to be "lower middle class." Interesting.
Yoga classes aren't that expensive. Many places offer free yoga classes, actually. But, oops, you shouldn't learn new things. That's bad and oppressive.
All feminists should be more like you, lusting after property ownership and getting upset when their investment gambles go bad.
Sushi must be elitist because it's from another country and not real American food. On the other hand, ham and cheese, being made out of a dead bloody corpse, is compassionate and socially responsible.
Irony much?
I understand where Courtney's critics are coming from, being the teenage daughter of a single, unemployed mom in a city where we are surely not the only family living this way. It's true that Courtney is privileged, but we all are. Every one of us and we can't deny it. Speaking about our privilege doesn't make us any more or less selfish or ignorant, especially someone like Courtney who is an advocate for those less privileged.
Courtney:
I am a 35-y-old single mom w/ a ws degree and law degree from top 10 law school. I taught women and the law for two years while in law school to pay the bills. I am now a lawyer in federal court for an amazing judge, and mom to an almost 9-y-old great emerging feminist.
I think your post drew a few negative responses because it was a bit self-centered. From 8:30-11 you kissed a boy, did yoga, errands, and bought fruit?
I will not go into my own daily life, but suffice it to say that your post made one a bit disappointed in this website, which we hold so dearly. I know that our lives are different, but your post was a bit immature. Your life is simple compared to so many.
Excellent point. Being a workaholic clearly makes one more moral than others. The complexity of your life is admirable. Who should be buying fruit when one could instead spend her days criticizing bloggers and being a highly educated lawyer for the federal government? You are definitely very mature.
I am an avid reader of this blog and enjoy it, but this comment has really disturbed me. To insist that you make less money blogging than waiting tables reeks of privilege. I do not mean to imply that blogging pays ridiculous amounts of money, but there is a huge difference between making a living where you set your schedule, can work from home, and afford yoga classes or other fitness/wellness activities while working all within an eight hour day to working on your feet all day for ten to twelve hour shifts in an industry that sees you as a servant and not a human being while putting up with any crap a customer gives your for paltry tips.
I now work at a non-profit rape crisis center as a social worker, and this is a piece of cake compared to what I had to endure in the retail/food service industry. To have an office of your own, a flexible schedule, and a chance to sit down when you'd like is a great job in this economy or any other economy really. There are stressors with every job and I'm not meaning to imply that you do not work hard. I just think there is a huge difference in these types of jobs and the compensation and respect that comes with them.
Thanks as always for all the work you do on this site, but please open your eyes to the privilege that you have.
"reeks of privilege"???
Really? Are we comparing Courtney to Rachel Maddow now? (no offense Courtney/Rachel) Its not as if she has a prime time newscast! Unless blogging has suddenly become more lucrative I don't think we should be throwing stones @ Courtney b/cs she's lucky enough to do yoga. C'mon, gimme a break. Really, that's what this boils down to? Some poor girl is lucky enough to do yoga & the rest of us throw stones??? What about the Wall Street bankers who made off in billions of taxpayer funded bonuses? I'd think we'd save our stone for them.
I've waited tables for a living too, by the way, and there's plenty of time for waiters to schedule time for yoga. If you doubt it, try waiting in LA.
I realize I'm late jumping in on this, but I had to say that all of the commenters calling Courtney 'immature' and saying she's unaware of her privilege strike me as whiny and off-point. If you are jealous of what she does, and tired of waiting tables, maybe you should quit your job and start a blog? What?!? Doesn't pay enough? You're not a good writer? Oh... I don't know what to say then. Sheesh.
And to the person who called her post self-centered, no shit! It's about a day in her life. How would you like her to present it? She works hard enough, and blogs about enough completely non self-centered issues that to post something that revolves around her shouldn't result in judgmental crap spewing from everyone. Give her a break. When's the last time you dedicated your day to issues of the less-privileged?
I agree with most of you in that I would much rather be a writer/activist than a waitress, but that's a personal preference and I think Mollie said it best when she wrote "It's true that Courtney is privileged, but we all are. Every one of us and we can't deny it. Speaking about our privilege doesn't make us any more or less selfish or ignorant, especially someone like Courtney who is an advocate for those less privileged."
It's like Bill O-Reilly saying Courtney is a hypocrite for not speaking out about the sexism Palin faced, when she did. Courtney advocates for every single one of us, regardless of what she has for lunch (at least she didn't just throw the leftovers out, thanks for noticing).
Courtney wasn't trying to rub her job in anyone's face, people are just looking for something to focus their anger on that isn't their own lives.