Make up kits with a cause
This is pretty interesting. A Dubai organization combating intimate partner violence created these make up kits with a message. Specifically, each color in the palette represents a different kind of abuse.
The brush in the kit says: "Don't cover up injustice. Speak." Along with City of Hope's hotline number. The kits were given out at shopping malls in Dubai.
I like it.
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I love this. Things like this give me so much hope.
.... I think I really don't like this, but I'm not sure I can articulate why.
Me neither.
I don't like the beauty standards. It's saying "Don't put up with his shit - but only if you look hawt."
Ick.
I can see how it might seem that way...but I think of it a little differently. One of the reasons intimate partner violence is so prevalent is that we don't talk about it in "polite" society. We don't acknowledge its existence, so victims feel isolated and lose perspective.
Some women use make up for sexist reasons and for personal reasons. The women who use this will look at that information perhaps every day and maybe just by virtue of constant exposure to the reality of violence they'll be more inclined to talk to their friends and family about intimate partner violence.
Anyway....that's just my two cents.
Not it's not. To me it's a way to get to women like my mother who otherwise would NEVER take a pamphlet or a card. But she might take the makeup because it is useful since she wears makeup.
I love it. Getting the numbers out for helplines is always a struggle especially when a lot of battered women are kept sheltered and imprisoned.
I'm torn. I like that it's getting the idea out there, but it seems a bit victim-blaming. It's not the abusers who would be applying makeup to cover up the abuse they're doing, it's the abused women. Is there a parallel campaign directed at abusers?
And that. It's not always possible for abused women to speak out, so that's not a helpful PSA. It would be more helpful if it said something like "Wife abuse is a crime" or "You don't deserve abuse" or something like that.
There's a difference between telling a victim how to get help (particularly when the information is difficult to come by) and blaming the victim for what happened to her.
Giving someone information that could help them isn't victim-blaming, and labeling it as such does everyone a disservice. It only becomes victim-blaming when someone castigates the victim for failing to take the advice.
This is definitely true, which is why I'm still torn. It does have a phone number, so maybe it will reach someone who needs to know what to do. But I worry that it also feeds into the idea that the only correct thing is to report it immediately- which doesn't acknowledge the difficulty of the choice, the timing involved, etc etc. I don't know. I don't dislike the campaign, I just have concerns.
I don't think it suggests that the ONLY CORRECT THING to do is call for help immediately. Of course it's usually the best thing to do if it's possible. It gives a number, raises awareness, and is easy to hide.
The reality is that in most cases of spousal abuse, the only people who know about it are the abuser and the abusee. The abuser sure as hell isn't going to make the call, so it's up to the abusee. In most cases, a woman trying to get out of an abusive situation isn't just going to be rescued. She's going to have to do something herself. It's not easy, and that's why women stay in abusive relationships.
So a product that tells an abused woman to seek help is a good thing.
I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance. Performative femininity is part and parcel of female oppression which says that ownership and abuse of women is ok. Make-up and domestic violence are both part of the patriarchal gestalt. Yes, putting the message on make-up is a great way to reach women. On the other hand, master's house and all that.
So I worked with this organization, City of Hope, last summer, and will be going back to Dubai this summer to help them more. The make-up kit idea is a good one because many women in domestic abuse situations do not have access to help, but malls and buying make-up are easily accessible. You have to understand that there is no social service infrastructure in Dubai to assist domestic violence situations and until about a ear ago, City of Hope had been (for 14 yrs) the ONLY hotline and shelter for women in violent situations for the entire UAE. Additionally, make-up is used in Dubai in a different way than it is used in America, it's not necessarily the "master's tools" but rather a way of embracing femininity and a way of personal expression that americans and westerners may choose to express through clothing, or other cultural choices... I think this idea is a good one.
and herein is the biggest difficulty in evaluating this as a way to get the message accross. on a cultural level, i can see where this would work. the little bit i know about the relationship many muslim women have to make-up is completely different to american women's. the way i understand it, mak-up is worn in teh house as a way to be pleasing to the men (husband in particular) who are allowed in the house. you don't get made up to go out and be seen. you get made up to stay home and be seen. so maybe in that way, having it on make-up is effective for these women in the way other aplications might not be. i do agree that non-physical abuse should be part of it, but that's a harder one to squeeze onto an eye shadow pot. also, i think the relationship to physical abuse is differnet to the relationship to non-physical abuse on a cultural context.
I actually have a different understanding of the difference between Western women's relationship with makeup and women's relationship with makeup in a country like UAE. I may be misunderstanding what you said, so here is the distinction I got from your comment:
*Western women wear make up as part of a public persona which includes various factors
*Because Middle Eastern women cannot leave the house, when they wear make up it is in order to please their husbands
In reality, I met women when I studied abroad in the Middle East who saw makeup as a form of personal expression and defiance of a culture that tells them they are NOT to be seen. Women in some families are required to wear burqas, hijab, face scarves. For some women their eyes are the only part seen by the public, so wearing eye makeup IS a huge part of differentiating themselves. I know this is well documented in Iran also, where it is illegal for women to wear form fitting clothes or makeup. So makeup is a method of protest against patriarchal limits on womens' appearance. The book "Lipstick Jihad" is a good one if you are interested in this phenomenon in Iran.
"I met women when I studied abroad in the Middle East who saw makeup as a form of personal expression and defiance of a culture that tells them they are NOT to be seen. Women in some families are required to wear burqas, hijab, face scarves. For some women their eyes are the only part seen by the public, so wearing eye makeup IS a huge part of differentiating themselves"
Yes, actually this is what I was referring to in my original comment, thank you. And I also have to say that I am unsure makeup is used to "please" men as firefly suggested, not to say that it isn't, but I think it is more complex - including a strong sense of personal feminine expression in the face of other restrictions..
In Dubai in particular the malls are a huge part of the culture, as is shopping. offering a product in these malls that is a large mart of women's lives is a smart way to get the word out that there is a hotline available.
I think overall it's a good idea. Many women who endure abuse often cover up the bruises and such with makeup, clearly showing that while they know something about it is wrong (even if it's just that they know people will ask questions if they do NOT cover them up), they don't always know how to go about leaving the situation. I think a hotline for advice or help regarding an abusive situation on makeup is a good idea.
From a practical perspective, wouldn't an abusive spouse be far less likely to notice a helpline number on a makeup palette tucked in a woman's drawer than on a pamphlet hidden in the same place? It seems like a way of safely hiding the information in plain sight.
The one thing that bothers me about it is that all the examples given are the same flavour of abuse, the physical side. Does this not reinforce the idea that if he doesn't hit you, it's not really abuse? I realise the idea is that the makeup covers the physical signs, but it would have been nice to have some variety.
(I use the word nice in a very loose way, it's a strange word to use when taking about abuse.)
Generally, I like the idea behind it. If you didn't notice, most of the colours and names of the colours coordinate. Example-"If smacked in the eye" is yellow, which will generally do a good job covering up a purple bruise.
It's like they're saying "If you have to use this makeup for that purpose, something is WRONG and you need to tell someone"
I don't think it reinforces the idea that if you're not being, you're not being hurt. It ignores emotional and verbal abuse, but it doesn't say "If he's yelling, it's not abuse"
I don't see it as victim blaming either, I see it as victim-you-have-to-say-something-to-get-help.
I'm all for anything that encourages women to speak out about abuse. I think the company should also release something targeted at helping women who are victims of emotional abuse and something targeted at children. AS well as a campaign targeted at abusers.
Still...a step in the right direction is a step in the right direction.
More information at AdBasha, and originally from AdBlogArabia. More about the purpose there:
http://adbasha.blogspot.com/2009/01/dont-cover-up-speak-up.html
This sits oddly with me. I think the idea is a good one but it just doesn't seem right--I feel like it's another (figurative) slap in the face to look at the make-up case if a woman is already trapped in an abusive situation.
Regarding non-physical abuse, another thing that could be added is something about redness and puffiness in your eyes after you've been crying.
I like this product. I'd like to see it in America. I wear makeup every day.
A lot of the 'awareness' products aren't things people actually use (magnets, throw-away pens). I drives me insane when girls take the domestic violence/rape crisis hotline cards I hand out, then toss them in the garbage 10 feet away. This might actually sit in someone's makeup case til they're having a quiet moment reflecting on a friend in a bad situation.
I agree with a lot of those above who have some issues with this. I think maybe the biggest advantage is that this is probably not something men would take an interest in or even notice in a lot of cases. The woman can take it home and put it with her things and hopefully have it go undetected until and unless she needs that phone number.
I'm thinking maybe they should have a product for men when their girlfriends decide to give THEM a good wallop. I remember the time I gave one of my ex's a huge black eye when I walked in and caught him making out with my friends (NOT proud of it, btw, but it's an example for ya). I punched her too, just to be fair.
He had to tell everyone he slipped on the ice and banged his eye on a railing while carrying a load of laundry (good one, huh?) and everyone completely bought it. Had *I* been the one with the black eye, there would have been a lot more raised eyebrows.
That was a long time ago, and completely out of character for me. I don't agree with violence and have vowed to never let my emotions take me to that point again.
But enough about me...
We all know men shouldn't hit women. We should also be fair and make a point of the acts of violence women can commit toward men as well. It just reminds me of the old, "Boys should never hit girls!" rule that I remember hearing so much as a child. It just feels like a double standard, since I never really heard anyone say, "Girls should never hit boys."
I guess I was uncomfortable with that whole thing because it always implied that women were the weaker individuals, and aren't we trying to break that stereotype?
Yes, it's true, in most cases men ARE physically stronger (unless they are dealing with Chyna) but women should not be portrayed on make-up cases (of all things) as timid little excuse-makers who serve as punching bags to brawny, over-bearing, violent and sadistic men. I think there might be a better, more dignified and helpful way on spreading awareness and support.
I do feel sympathy for women who are involved in that whole "Battered Wife Syndrome" situation, don't get me wrong. I guess I would just like to see some support groups for "Battered Husband Syndrome" as well, but obviously men are less likely to report any physical abuse they may be getting from a woman because that would just totally emasculate them, I suppose.
Why are we, as a society, so comfortable with drawing attention to women being physically abused? Would a man who reported that his wife threw the remote control at his head be merely laughed at?
Domestic violence against men certainly shouldn't be ignored, but since the bulk of DV is against women, that's where most of any anti-DV group's energy should be focused.
My point here is, if someone is really concerned about men being battered, the best thing for them to do would be to start an organization themselves, rather than asking of a women's group, "Why are you ignoring the plight of men?"
I'd be interested to know how many abused women would actually buy this product in America/Canada. If you're covering up your bruises with makeup that does speak to a certain form of denial, and would that same denial permit this sort of purchase?
Plus, it's not really the sort of thing that can be given as a gift...
LOL at that last sentence. Sorry, couldn't help it.
"The kits were given out at shopping malls in Dubai."
It was something handed out to everyone...It would be an odd gift to give though. Although, I'd buy something like that for my friend who is in a bad situation like that but refuses to leave because of the baby. She won't let anyone help her, she just covers the scars, the bruises, the tears, she believes the things he tells her, about how ugly and worthless she is. I've tried to help...I've offered her a place to stay, I've put her in contact with counselors, I've talked to her boyfriend. I would give her a makeup kit like that so that maybe she would use it and think about what's happening to her and her daughter.
My bad, the "giving out" bit didn't register. I realize it is meeting with some success in Dubai, I was posting off of Katie saying she'd like to see it in America.
In that case, I can see how it being given out could possibly spread more change than it being available for purchase. Definitely receiving something for free involves a lot less decision making than walking around a store with it, taking it to the cash register, and paying money for it (I mean some women still have a hard time buying tampons without putting a magazine over them. Can you imagine the stress upon purchasing something like this?)
Sorry to hear about your friend, by the way. I hope things change for the better.
i worked at a domestic violence agency for south asian women for a bit of time. we had a campaign where we would use old lipstick containers and put slips of paper in them that had info about dv and how to get help.
then we did trainings with area salons and gave them the 'lipstick' to give to clients that they thought might need it.
the reasoning behind this was two-fold
first, abusers generally track down their victims every move. they know where they are all the time. but going to the salon seems fairly low-risk in terms of their behavior getting exposed. that is why it is so important to get info out in those environments...where abusers are least likely to be suspicious.
second, people can be really close to their stylist and tell them things about their life while they are cutting their hair. stylists also get close to their clients (physically speaking) and might see bruises or other things that result from physical abuse. so, it is important for resources to be available in that environment.
i think its a creative way to get the word out. and i think that, at the very least, it can create some discussion amongst the people who receive these make-up kits...possibly opening up a space for a victim to confide in her friends/family.
i understand the criticisms, as it does play into beauty standards for women. but as dv service providers, we need to meet people where they are at. if thats at the mall, salon, wherever, thats where we need to go.
i think this is good. It really gets the message across. When women do their makeup they can really think and maybe get away from an abusive relationship. DSL Anbieter