I've written about the Girls Educational & Mentoring Services (GEMS) before, but I really had no idea how moving their work was until I watched the documentary about it, Very Young Girls.
The film weaves together the stories of about half a dozen teenage girls who have been sucked into "the life"--as they call it. "The life," as described through these vibrant, wounded girls is one typified by family insecurity and few resources, leading these girls to be incredibly vulnerable. In most cases, some guy with fast talk and some cash lures the girls in--telling them that he loves them and will take care of them like the father they never had--and before long has asked them to do "their part" by prostituting themselves. It's amazing to hear these young women describe the process of getting into "the life" because it sounds so incredibly cliche. It's stunning that it still goes on just this way, that these preying men (sometimes decades older than the girls) use just these lines, and that it works to systematically dismantle these girls' self esteem and sense of what is right for them.
Some of the most stunning scenes for me were those that involved men. In one, a packed room of men listen to a female police administrator explain the process of arrest for those soliciting prostitution. Presumably all of the men in the room--including young and old, Italian and African-American, Orthodox Jews, and everyone in between--have been arrested for just this crime. One asshole raises his hand and asks, "When do we get a break?" and the room erupts in laughter. I felt such a sense of repulsion, such a wave of anger, come up in me at that scene. I felt, I have to admit it, violent. I wanted to trap these guys in a room and make them watch themselves in the context of the rest of the documentary. I wanted them to have one-tenth of the pain and manipulation and imprisonment that the young girls sucked into "the life" feel.
The film engenders these kinds of feelings because it is just that powerful. The most redemptive part is, first and foremost, the girls. They are incredible, resilient, fighting, inspirational. And they are lead by the center of the film and the Executive Director and Founder of GEMS, Rachel Lloyd, who was once in "the life" herself and now dedicates herself every single day to getting other girls out of it. She is a force, an absolute model of what it means to seize your purpose and live it every day.
When the film was done, I felt such a deep sadness, but also the sort of outrage that is incredibly motivating. I immediately donated online (if the Facebook cause recruits 3,653 members in the next 98 days, there is a $5,000 pledge). I started telling everyone I know about it. I read up on the issue and promised myself that I'd write more about it.
The average age that young women become prostitutes is 13-years-old. You can't not learn more about this issue. Watch the film on demand on Showtime through March 3rd or hold a screening in your home. The GEMS site tells you how.
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just invited a whole bunch of people to join, and I was already #1,402. I know they will reach the number needed for the pledge!
I wish stuff like this documentary came out in theaters, it is so moving
Thank you for the information, Courtney - just so happens I can view Showtime on Demand so I looked it up and I'm about to watch it. I also looked at the Facebook page and joined the cause.
It's such a depressing subject that I'm almost too chicken to watch... but for what these girls and women have been through, I think I can dislodge from my comfort zone and learn something. It's the least I can do.
Really? You were stunned?
Where do you live that you get to be stunned by reality?
Are you stunned when children are "still"molested by the same predatorial tactics- even when it isn't going to end up for sale?
I'm glad to hear you facebooked for the cause, it's better than nothing. It's acknowledgment that could add some funding- that's important.
I'll be pleasantly surprised when I hear about your volunteer work in any neighborhood where the circumstances you've just been made more aware of are common.
For those interested in doing more than facebook - feel free to stop by any women's shelter and offer to babysit the children while the moms get therapy or go on job interviews, look for housing. Offer to help with laundry, cooking and creative projects that are overwhelming to anyone in the midst of crisis.
There are boys there too ya know- boys that may turn out differently than the men in that doc. partly because of your influence.
Stop by any inner city high school and offer to help kids struggling with the hugely important 9th grade (the ones who drop out start struggling in that grade).
Be a big sister or brother.
stop by the Y.
share.
Oprah made the mistake of saying, "just nurture" (if you can't build 28 homes or give loads of money) as if she had forgotten that the nurturing she received was more valuable than all the riches it has led her too.
"Just go nurture a child"
Well, it is just that easy, and more important than anyone can measure in monetary terms.
OK- that's the end my low class rant for today.
Peace.
geez....I think a lot of us do those things that you would be "pleasantly surprised" to hear about.
The documentary (and the Facebook group) might be small/passive steps, but it brings awareness to the topic. Not everyone will be inspired to be an active part of the solution, but others will.
You don't get people involved in the community by talking to them this way.
I hear about girls who have gone through this and I immediately want to help. But then I think, "Who the hell am I? What gives me the right to help them?" I grew up in the lower-middle class and was far from wealthy, but I always had lots of encouragement and opportunities. I am not a woman of color and I will never understand what it is to be one. I have been through many difficult times in my life, sure, but my life has been nothing like theirs. I would love to help out in any way possible, but I don't want to be another well-meaning liberal full of white guilt assuming she knows what is best for a young girl who has been through far more pain and abuse and hate and objectification in her young life than I will be lucky enough never to know.
I want to help in any way I can. But where do I even begin?
Ahem...you do realize that you catch more bees with honey than vinegar, right? To motivate people to action, try not insulting them right off the bat, please.
A 'BREAK'??!!! Those motherfuckers!! I can't watch it or I'd get that violently angry too! GRRRAAAGH!!!!
Because language is important to me, I'd like to point out that what you're talking about is not prostitution. These types of cases are often referred to as child rape for profit or simply as slavery. They may involve human trafficking as well, as it's quite rare for slaves who aren't working in a house to be kept in the same place for very long.
I'm very glad you posted this. Thank you.
I just want to point something out since I usually miss stuff like this: assuming normal distribution, "[t]he average age that young women become prostitutes is 13-years-old" means that half of all these "prostitutes" began before they became teenagers. Realistically, it's probably more.
I know, I thought that immediately, too. But then I remembered what I was taught in math class. There could actually be more than half under 12. You could have a bunch of 11 year olds but then just a few older women who skew the numbers. So it's not necessarily 50% older and 50% younger.
Yes, the numbers being thrown out there are outrageous. I got into the business when I was 30 (and quit at 36). Do you know how many 10 year olds it would take to balance that out? I know hundreds of women who started in their mid 20's to early 30's (even a few who started in their 40's and 50's). They throw insane stats out there to envoke outrage, and it works. Of course it does- if I believed it, I'd be disgusted too.
The 13 year old stat refers to young women who are in coerced or trafficked situations and begin under the age of 18. I've read estimates of consensual sex work as the average age being 21.
I think it's very important to make the distinction, as another poster pointed out.
My heart goes out to these young women, and anyone facing a similar situation.
Um, how about you go watch the documentary? I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that your experience of sex work -- which as you described was chosen as an adult, with the option to leave -- is radically opposite those of the girls and young women coerced, manipulated, and abused into selling their bodies (for their pimp's profit, not their own). I'm not trying to attack you, just point out that you really need to watch the docu before throwing out the facts it proves.
"They" -- the few, barely-funded organizations who work on issues of child sexual exploitation, slavery, and trafficking -- are the ones with experience with these communities, and I'm pretty sure that when they say 13 is the average age of entry, they're not putting it out there for some kind of sick shock value. Believe me, there are more than enough horrific things about these girls' reality that advocates could say if pure shock was the goal.
And I should clarify that I've seen the documentary and spend both my professional and personal time working with these youth. Thank you, Courtney, for bringing awareness to this issue that's swept under the rug in the U.S., and a complete manifestation of the extreme misogyny in our society.
This is a truly terrible situation. I'm very glad these young women were able to get out. Many aren't so able. Some women can't escape, or can't escape with their lives. For those who may be undocumented, they may be doubly victimized by those (law enforcement) supposed to protect them.
I saw Very Young Girls and was reminded of an incident from Jr High.
My friend and I would be dropped off from the school bus in front of a 7-11 and would go in to get snacks from time to time. Once a man approached us and offered to buy us some candy then told us where to find him if we wanted to make some money. He was way more interested in my friend (who was black) than me (I'm white). Somehow I knew he was a pimp and told my friend who was shocked and amazed. We were pretty freaked out.
We were only about 13 or 14 at the time.
On the issue of facts, I'm sorry, but I have to politely disagree with the idea of taking facts at face value, no matter how great the organization putting them out is.
At noon on friday, 2,553 MEMBERS
That means they're halfway there. I just sent out 60 invites, and within half an hour 5 people have already joined.
I know it's "only facebook" but it raises awareness and motivates people to get involved within their own communities. And that's the point, every little bit matters! This is a great cause, thank you for blogging it Courtney.
I'd like to see the documentary. I support decriminalized prostitution- and very stringent prosecution for any form of child abuse.
I have a question about the connection between the men and these victims, though- does the film explain what the circumstances of their arrests were? Obviously, if they are adult men caught buying sex from teenage girls, they have no justification for their acts.
However, just as a hypothetical, if they were arrested for soliciting an adult female (undercover officer) the situation is a little different. Then I would have to compare the guy's request for "a break" with a guy buying marijuana- did he directly harm someone?
I agree.
But it could be like what is sometimes shown on Dateline NBC "To Catch a Predator" (I know, I know, that show has problems) where the guys clearly think themselves to be above the law.
The buyer's side *always* seems to act like they are 100% certain they are not hurting anyone. Really?
At least with marijuana, one could actually make that case especially if you grew it yourself; but unless you actually took the time to understand the circumstances of girls and women on the street, unless you personally know them (in which case, your ass wouldn't have gotten stung by an undercover cop), then how can you really have the gall to stand up and ask for a break? Entitlement. That's how.