Okay, I admit it. I was watching the Real World again.
My excuse this time was that I worked hard all day, then came home and had to clean up the apartment for a guest, and I really needed some mind-numbing chill time with my pasta dinner. Just nod your head and humor me, okay?
In any case, the Real World is in Brooklyn (Red Hook) this time around and exploiting every stereotype therein (stick ball! hip hop! pizza!). But what really caught my attention was that there is a transgender roommate (M to F). Kat is post-op, having just returned from Thailand, where she got her surgery, and in the episode I saw, she slowly comes out with each roommate that she grows to trust in the house. Meanwhile, of course, there are lots of offensive comments in the confessional and panning in on her in her underwear. Lots of speculation, like this:
The show this iteration is chockfull of sexual identity "scenes." One of the most bizarre happens when one roommate, Ryan, an Iraq veteran who wants to publish a book, is dared to kiss a performer at a gay bar in Chelsea for $100 and he ends up being kissed on the mouth and freaks out to the point of vomiting (or was that his copious drinking?). When he tells his girlfriend she screams, "Grossssss!" into the phone.
I am so torn about all of this. On the one hand, I know that the Real World is a whole lot more widely distributed than Anne Fausto-Sterling or Susan Stryker. I know that watching this kid have his little transformation from self-proclaimed ignorant to having some empathy and understanding of LGBTQ issues could really make a difference in a lot of Americans lives. Seeing Kat deal with the transition into her post-op body, telling people about her own story and the larger struggle for transgender rights etc. could enlighten so many young people across America who might otherwise have no exposure (or at least, exposure that they knew about) to transgender folks or an entre into LGBTQ issues.
On the other hand it's reductive, given very little analysis or context, and how do we know some kid doesn't tune in to watch Ryan vomit because he's been tricked into kissing a, yuck, gross, transvestite and then doesn't learn a damn thing? In fact, that viewer's discomfort with anything outside old paradigm heterosexual gender binary is reinforced.
Your thoughts?
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I haven't watched the Real World in a very long time (since they did Real World Austin and I would go spy on the house) so you can take my opinion however you like.
Really, when the Real World started out, I think it aimed at placing people together who would otherwise never really know each other. In that sense, it was educational, but now I feel like it aims at creating drama between people who are different. It doesn't aim at changing anybody's mind and it doesn't aim for producing controversial arguments. MTV has completely lost its sense of rebellious youth.
After the first episode, they aired a moderated discussion show with several former cast members and Kat (and Ryan and Chet, but they were just there as an attempt to make this look like a Real World discussion, not a transgender discussion). I thought it was really interesting, despite it's Real World shallowness. The questions that people asked Kat were the typical surface-level questions, but they asked them in a respectful way and Kat responded.
The most interesting segment was when they showed a clip from Kat's video diary that she made in Thailand. It was right after the surgeries were complete and she was talking about how amazingly happy she was to have a woman's body finally. Then they cut to Paula, poster-child for hating her body. That juxtaposition struck me. Now I'm really curious to hear transgender perspectives on body issues.
I think there's real potential for Kat to begin to normalize transgender people for a larger audience, a la Pedro, but it's not going to happen overnight.
One trend I've noticed among trans women (myself included) is that our body image issues have a lot of similarities to an eating disorder. I can't remember the last time I was gendered as anything but female, but there's still a LOT of mornings when I'm getting ready for work where I can't help but think "god I look like a f***ing boy", much in the way I've heard people with eating disorders think they look fat. There seems to be a fair amount of disparity between out a lot of us seem to see ourselves compared to how other people perceive us.
There's also a LOT of pressure for us to meet media/cultural stereotypes for women or we're "doing it wrong". All women have to deal with pressure to meet the barbie stereotype; trans women however tend to have their gender invalidated unless they meet it as best we can.
Incidentally, I've been reading Katelynn's blog on LJ and she's pretty much made of awesome.
Thanks for replying prettymuch85. It makes me sad, although not surprised, that transwomen feel more pressure to meet that Barbie stereotype. I loved that clip from Katelynn's video and just wish that all women could have that kind of joy to just be in their own skin, you know? I hope that she's able to hold on to that.
Here's the segment andi mentions. http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/330136/i-can-start-to-live-my-life.jhtml#id=1602190 it really is touching and so humanizing.
I think they did a great job in casting Kat. She's smart and open and a great figurehead for trans women-- even though it sucks that she has to be one.
Chet, one of the other cast mates, is effeminate and everyone is reading him as gay. He is not, so it gives an interesting opportunity to also explore acceptable male sexuality and presentation. Of course, the show's not going that way, but I have some hopes for Sarah.
So good to know about all this, thanks Andi. I'm glad that MTV is providing more context than I realized!
I'm equally torn on this. I mean, I live in a pretty tolerant bubble, surrounded by tolerant people... so it's hard to watch when housemates call Kat an "it" or out JD to people. Those things really got me wired up.
At the same time, however, I think it's making space to talk about LGBTQ issues - not everybody lives in my land of tolerance - and the fact that the housemates are slowly (and I really mean slowly) overcoming their prejudices and learning that "others" are people with issues and problems and goals and dreams, kind of makes me smile.
Mind you, sometimes I want to shake some of the guys and say "The pronoun is 'her' not 'it' or 'he/she'" or "It's not your place to tell people that JD is gay".
It's just my intuition that the more general contact people have with LGBT issues, the harder it is to have a problem with them, and the more they become non-issues. It just feels obvious to me that twenty-somethings now are far more accepting of homosexuality than twenty-somethings in 1980 would have been. Issues stay "issues" as long as everyone is blindingly aware that they are issues. People pick up on the fact that something is taboo. When queerness is just commonplace, and not something that needs to be discussed at all, that's when complete acceptance happens.
"It just feels obvious to me that twenty-somethings now are far more accepting of homosexuality than twenty-somethings in 1980 would have been."
Well, it's not obvious to everybody. I'm in my thirties and back in college, so I have an different perspective on this.
I feel like young people were more accepting in the 90s (can't speak for the 80s) than they are now. At least, I remember young people being more understanding and open to other LGBT young people. I had many friends come out, and, yes, not everybody was cool, but it seemed like people were talking about LGBT issues more. I seem to remember more gay characters in movies and TV shows. I think this has a lot to do with AIDS activism and information campaigns, but I'm not a sociologist.
I honestly think that mainstream culture has backslid when it comes to gay rights in general. Of course it could just be my rapidly approaching old age talking. ;)
It interesting to see the reaction of the male veteran. I met him briefly at IVAW's book release, he is friends with one of our members, and I was pleasently surprised to see him at our event, because it takes a certian kind of opem-mindedness for a vet to attend anti-war events.
The unfortunate thing is that his reaction to Kat is a step above what I'd expect, with the amount of macho gender identity the military pushes. Considering what happened to Barry Winchell, who most people assume was gay and not in fact dating a transgendered woman, Ryan's reaction certainly is a step forward. It's still really far behind where it should be despite that he did seem curious, and not so much threatened, but I've only seen the first episode.
While gays are something that is talked about in the military there is nearly no discussion of transgendered people.
It will be interesting to see how his reaction and ideas evolve over the season.
Hopefully he gets past the insanely fucked up "it" comments.
Come on, they must have run out of cities by now. Are we down to Cedar Rapids, Iowa?
This is the problem. The Real World does not challenge bigotry; it merely puts it out there as "entertainment" time after time after time, for consumption by (predominantly) young people who will then model what they see or have their existing ignorance reinforced.
I watched that little clip, against my better judgment. Now I'm the one who feels like vomiting.
At least Ryan isn't being completely malevolent - as I recall, one of his quotes from this episode was "I'm ignorant, and i KNOW I'm ignorant, but I really want to learn." I find that laudable. I came from a family where homosexuality was never put down, but also never discussed when I was a child. I had no idea it existed until kindergarten, and the first thing I was told was that it was gross and unnatural. So, for a few years in elementary school, I honestly did believe it was gross and unnatural, until I met my friend Conor (whom I'm still friends with to this day) who changed my ideas completely. I cringe to think of the gaffes I must have made around him, but everybody has to learn. Sometimes the learning is painful to either the person or those around them. We aren't all lucky enough to grow up in an environment where all walks of life are accepted - I'm not trying to make excuses for him or anyone else with bigoted behavior, I think having a less-than-laudable upbringing can be excused by trying to learn and being open minded. He is making the worst mistakes, but maybe that will change.
It's difficult to determine the the aims of a reality TV show, because ostensibly it's reality, and it really is hard to know how much of it is scripted. I've heard theories ranging from entire scenes, to vague scenarios that the actors improv, to just throwing (as was mentioned above) controversial and wacky characters together and letting it all play out. If it turns out that everyone learns and grows, great. If not, it's hard to blame the TV show, depending on how much control you believe is being exercised over the players.
See, I felt some sympathy for Ryan too because he did own up to being ignorant... initially.
Then, like halfway through the commercials, I actually said out loud: "Wait. It's NOT OK to call somebody an IT. It's NEVER OK. It's not ignorant; it's insulting."
And honestly, I don't care how "ignorant" you are, if you were raised with basic manners, then you would know that referring to a human being as an inanimate object is RUDE. So, no, that wasn't an innocent comment.
He gets no sympathy from me.
Definitely, and you're entirely entitled to feel that way. My sympathy - or at least, my lack of hatred - still stands, because I recall my friend and I discussing when we were seven the polite way to identify someone transexual, just because we honestly didn't know. Now in my wise old age it seems ridiculously obvious, but at the time we didn't have anyone to tell us, and "it" is really the only gender neutral term available in the situation.
I'm really not trying to defend anyone's use of the word "it". I mean, I was seven years old and while I may have considered it vaguely even I knew enough not to actually put it into practice. It's obvious this guy is a giant douche, but I can't hate him entirely.
I'm a self-proclaimed Real World addict, and proud of it.
I think this season is particularly interesting. I respected Ryan for flat-out saying, "I'm going to the gay bar because I like to expose myself to new things." Clearly, he is not someone who surrounds himself with diverse people, but I found it admirable that he wanted to open his mind a bit.
However, yes, that whole incident where he had to kiss a dragqueen was EXTREMELY annoying. Once he was kissed, he immediately wiped his mouth 15 times, and then of course threw up. I don't honestly believe he was as grossed out as he made it seem - I think it was more him trying to reaffirm his masculinity. And his girlfriend's reaction (she actually said "That's disgusting!") really pissed me off.
There was also the fact that Ryan told another roommate, who has a style that can only be described as "metrosexual" will get eaten alive at the gay bar. Granted, he's a good-looking guy who will most likely get hit on in a gay bar, but is being approached by a gay man the worst thing in the world? It's not as if teh homosexualz would jump him the second he walks in the door - gay men, surprisingly, are more than just flaming sex maniacs.
Kat is one of my favorite people in the house. She has a lot of depth, and she seems like an extremely understanding and open-minded person. It took MTV just a little too long to bring on a transgendered person, but I think it's good that they did. I feel like Kat's presence on the show is doing more harm than good.
It should be said though, at no point is it ok to treat anyone as less than human. Just because he didn't slam someone over the head doesn't make it ok.
This happnes in the anti-war community with sexism and racism, where actions that should be pointed out and not tolerated get excused because they are better than "such and such".
Purely from a perspective of changes and where we still have to go should this be discussed in any light other than complete disapproval.
That wasn't directed to you AER, sorry if it looks as though it is.
Eek, sorry, I meant to say "more good than harm."
Remember when "The Real World" dealt with "real issues" instead of just manipulating situations into conflicts? Sigh.
I think it's fantastic that a transgender is on television and very open about her medical history.
On the other hand, it's awful that there is so much negativity about it. Shots of her in her skivvies? The hate speech from her house mates? The puking? None of it is necessary, all of fuels the hatred of those watching at home.
A side note though...I had no idea they were still doing the Real World.
Bekka, when describing trans people "transgender" is better used as an adjective than a noun. For example, I am a transgender woman, not a "trans" or a transgender.
I think the main key is to have "woman" or "person" or "man" in there; it reminds listeners that trans people are, well, people, and not abstract objects or things.
I agree with you on this... I've just always found it a little odd that being referred to as a lesbian instead of a lesbian woman doesn't seem nearly as dehumanizing (to me) as being referred to as a transgender.
I'm sorry...It makes sense when I hear it now, it's just never something I thought about. I'm sorry if I came off as insensitive.
Of course "The Real World" and the cast are chosen to cause tension or drama or fights. A TV show about people just getting along wouldn't be very interesting. The cast has a lot of free time and no TV in the house, but lots of games and open spaces where they can hang out and are encouraged to interact and talk and get to know each other and then to drink and go out and all of that is bound to create problems. By this point, everyone knows that, including people sending in videos of themselves.
And I thought the episodes so far have been really interesting, with most of the drama being silly and played up more than was genuine. I think most of the people in the house were interesting and supportive of each other, even when they were uncomfortable. Even Ryan, with his ignorant and inappropriate comments was still able to own up to them. I think out of everyone Ryan was the most offensive and inappropriate, but he wasn't mean. He admitted (more than once?) that his feelings reflected ignorance, and never once confronted Kat, for example, to tell her that she was a freak or wrong somehow. He talked about her behind her back and struggled with how to label or understand her, but I really got the impression that he didn't do so with ill intent. He's just... ignorant. And living with Kat and the other roommates might help change that, however many blunders he makes along the way.
I could be wrong, of course, but thus far I feel like the cast is sort of even tempered, even though they are out of their comfort zones.
Courtney,
thank you for thinking like an activist and not like an idealist. I have no opinion on the Real world, but I find this way of thinking about feminist issues VERY productive.
We can't all complain about why manistream is not more feminist, and meanwhile shun everything mainstream. We need to pick and choose our battles no matter how hard that is.
We can't all be radical activists (no matter how radical our personal point of view is). Because there needs to be a spectrum of people for some idea to grow. This is why we need to also support some of those less-than-perfect situations, and slowly raise our standards (i.e. Sex and the City) and push them in the direction we want.
Thank you thank you thank you for thinking about practical problems.
I haven't watched The Real World for a long time. The housemates, like many of you have said, were all chosen for their contribution to make drama and the show has gotten ridiculous in recent years. However, I have started watching the show again this year because of the inclusion of three members of the LGBT community. I appreciate the representation in a mainstream program. I too watched some of last nights episode. I watched with glee as they went to the gay club, several of them for the first time. And while I don't appreciate the betting for dancing or kissing a drag queen or the girlfriend' followed "gross" into the phone, or just the general lack of awareness of most of the housemates, I can appreciate the fact that LGBT members are still on the show, especially someone transgendered. I think the transgenered members of our community are under-represented. I understand the purpose of the show, which is to entertain, but to me it seems like this season is (or at least it has the potential to be) also about awareness and growth. I am trying to be more positive about things this year. So while I know and see the show's limitations, I can also see the possible awareness and other postives that may come from this particular season.
What I think a couple of comments have touched on but not said explicitly would reference how ground breaking the Real World was in pop culture when it began airing. The first New York season featured the first openly gay/HIV positive pop culture figure. Later seasoned dealt with abortion, lesbians, and race. I think that, unfortunately, more recent years have abandoned that initial focus the creators must have had on social analysis for the sake of dramatic entertainment. I'm optimistic about this season's content and how it might affect some of America's youth.
I can't believe that guy from the old Real World. When asked how he would handle being introduced to Kat, he said, "You don't really know how you'd react in that situation until you live it". As if it's a bombing or a murder or something.
It's sad that our society forces such restrictive gender roles on people that these men are so threatened by the mere existence of people who don't fit to the role assigned to them. I don't understand how people can live with themselves being so ignorant. The knowledge is out there!