All I don't want for Christmas: An artificial hymen
For the gal who can't afford a pricey hymenoplasty, there's the Artificial Virginity Hymen!
No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable.
Okay, never mind the ick factor. But why oh why are so obsessed with virginity as something that has to be about tightness and blood? Let's not forget that hymens have pretty much nothing to do with virginity - a concept that's pretty tenuous in and of itself. And really, why the obsession at all? (Ahem.)
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Why would someone want to relive their first time?
Is this meant to be fun for the woman or to fool the man?
From the tone of the description, I assume it's intention is to trick your partner and thus begin a relationship on a lie. YAY! What a great idea!
I feel compelled to actually list everything wrong with this (a list that would have at least 101 things on it)- but I don't think it would be necessary...
Terabithia, it sounds from the description that it's to fool the man, but I can see how this could be for fantasy play, too, if one or both of you are into the "sex with virgins" thing.
(sarcasm alert)
I'm just dismayed that a faux-hymen only costs $14.90. . . given the gravity of sex without a hymen. . .
What disturbs me is the being made from "natural albumin". So... should you happen to actually use this product, let's severely hope you're not allergic to eggs.
What also disturbs me is the being made from "natural albumin". So... should you happen to actually use this product, let's severely hope you're not allergic to eggs.
Just...ew. Aside from my feelings about girls and women feeling like they have to be virgins; aside from the biological fact that virginity has nothing to do with an intact hymen and people who are obsessed with hymen intactness are behaving in scientifically ignorant ways; aside from how damn nasty the thing looks; aside from all that--WHY? Why would you put that inside of you? Find a partner who doesn't need to make you bleed in order to enjoy the sex.
Exactly. And if you're into bloodplay, go find a knife. At least it's reusable.
Would knife-play be offensive? I understand the concerns about virginity as desirable (though I think Boggart makes a good point about the need in certain cultural systems for this type of product), but I honestly cannot understand the disdain for blood. Lots of people use blood in various ways, and while it's not for me, it doesn't freak me out either. If this product didn't create blood and just created the illusion of a hymen and/or smaller vaginal opening, would it be less offensive? I'm honestly curious.
Personally, I don't find knife-play offensive at all. I'm just saying that if you want to mess with blood, a knife is simpler than this little contraption.
But I think that the blood's not the problem; the issue's more with the concept of "replacing virginity" than the device itself. So much weight is put on whether or not a woman's got a hymen, and that's what's offensive.
I don't think it would be as offensive without the blood, however, I doubt it would be as effective either. The perpetuation of the myth that women always break their hymen and bleed during their first time is problematic, especially in societies and communities where virginity is highly valued is incorrect and dangerous. That's why it bothers me. If it just provided tightness, I don't think it would even be marketed as a fake virginity device.
It looks like a Rorschach's test with legs.
It looks like a Rorschach's test with legs.
I can't help but be reminded of one of the stories from Embroideries by Marjane Satrapi. One of her aunts just got married but wasn't a virgin. Her grandma told her to take a razor blade and lightly cut herself in the thigh during sex and the blood would convince her husband. Unfortunately, she accidentally cut her husband in the balls.
Embroideries is awesome if you haven't read it. It's about Marjane's female relatives in Iran and the sex stories that they tell.
Words cannot describe how disgusted I am by this.
This is extremely gross, both in looks and in the fact that it exists.
Yeah, I definitely could have lived the rest of my life not knowing this existed.
Why do so many people keep perpetrating the lie that a woman's virginity has anything to do with the state of her hymen?
Err, perpetuating, I mean.
Er, perpetuating, I mean.
It is absolutely disgusting, but I think that Jessica hit the nail on the head with her jokey line "for the gal who can't afford a pricey hymenoplasty". If it works as advertised, then this product could very well save many lives in the highly repressive and misogynistic cultures where arranged and even forced marriages occur with disturbing frequency. (Of course it would be better to tackle the root causes of *why* such a device is necessary in the first place, but I digress.)
However, I'm honestly surprised as to why a community such as Feministing, which is highly informed about women's issues worldwide, cannot see that tragically women and girls in horrendous circumstances have a very real need for them.
Hmm.. that's true too. I didn't think of that until your post. While its hugely creepy, I can see how in a lot of situations it could be a lifesaver (literally).
It is absolutely disgusting, but I think that Jessica hit the nail on the head with her jokey line "for the gal who can't afford a pricey hymenoplasty". If it works as advertised, then this product could very well save many lives in the highly repressive and misogynistic cultures where arranged and even forced marriages occur with disturbing frequency. (Of course it would be better to tackle the root causes of *why* such a device is necessary in the first place, but I digress.)
However, I'm honestly surprised as to why a community such as Feministing, which is highly informed about women's issues worldwide, cannot see that tragically women and girls in horrendous circumstances have a very real need for them.
Sorry - double post!
Boggart
I was just about to comment. The concept is horrible but I can imagine that this might literally be a life-saver in cultures where suscpection of adultry ends in death. However, we also need to evaluate. Is this being marketed for that purpose or is it being marketed based on the belief that virginity=good and tightness=good. I highly doubt this is being designed to protect women but more as another way to cash in on the slut-shaming our society embraces.
Perhaps you are right. I instinctively assumed that it was intended to be used as an "emergency" measure for women in desperate situations. However, now that I've visited the link - an American website hawking various sex toys - it seems that this is not the case. I suppose the only real way to find out the intentions behind the product is to directly contact the manufacturers or make a survey of all of the companies which are selling them. Finally, we shouldn't forget that even though they may be marketed as a sex toy, women could still be buying them for other purposes.
I think you're right in that this could be used in a positive way, but I'm pretty sure it's not the intention.
But still, it is sad that not only is so much value places on virginity but that so many still assume that an intact hymen is the be-all-end-all of it.
I can't imagine the corporate meeting that took place to present this as an idea for manufacturing and selling. Who came up with it?
Do men actually value a woman's virginity so much that they all want to be her first? And do women want every man to think he is her first? Egads.
That said, I can see women in conservative communities actually having the need for this otherwise creepy product. It's widely known that women in many Middle Eastern countries are murdered by their own families, for the mere rumor that they may not be virgins, either at the time of marriage, or before.
But, the product is made in Japan. Does that have anything to do with anything?
"Do men actually value a woman's virginity so much that they all want to be her first? "
Hell no. Virgins have extremely unrealistic ideas about sex and love. Let someone else teach her that sex doesn't mean you'll be together forever.
Some virgins are idealistic, certainly, but I know a lot of girls who are just as irritated by the supposed importance of "the first" as most men.
"Virgins have extremely unrealistic ideas about sex and love"
That's a pretty big blanket statement, considering everyone is a virgin at some point.
Everyone is a baby at some point to. People gain experience through experiences. That's how it works.
Everyone is a baby at some point too. People gain experience through experiences. That's how it works.
Yeah, obviously people gain sexual experience through sex. That doesn't negate that it's odd to make a blanket statement that "virgins have unrealistic expectations about sex and love", especially since you gender your next statement. I didn't think losing my virginity was a huge deal at the time, but I'm glad it went well.
"Do men actually value a woman's virginity so much that they all want to be her first? "
Thank you! Exactly what I was thinking!
It may be true that virgins haven't yet experienced sex, but that doesn't mean they know absolutely nothing about love or sex. A person does not need a partner to find out what they want from a sexual relationship. I've never had sex or been in a romantic relationship, but I believe I'm quite realistic about my expectations when the time comes. I'd like to think I'm not ignorant about sex at all, despite my lack of "experience." I may find that when it actually comes down to it I may find that what appeals to me theoretically may be different in practice, but my expectations are fairly realistic.
Not all virgins are perfectly pure, idealistic, and chaste, thank you very much.
"It may be true that virgins haven't yet experienced sex,"
It may indeed.
" but that doesn't mean they know absolutely nothing about love or sex."
Which is one possible explanation for me not having said they do.
"A person does not need a partner to find out what they want from a sexual relationship. I've never had sex or been in a romantic relationship, but I believe I'm quite realistic about my expectations when the time comes. I'd like to think I'm not ignorant about sex at all, despite my lack of "experience." I may find that when it actually comes down to it I may find that what appeals to me theoretically may be different in practice, but my expectations are fairly realistic."
People don't generally view their own speculation as completely off-base and wrong.
"Not all virgins are perfectly pure, idealistic, and chaste, thank you very much."
I wish I could accept your thanks, but since I never in any way anywhere at any point implied such, I can only ask you to actually read what I wrote.
Plenty of female virgins don't consider it to be a big deal and don't become overly clingy after sex. And HERE's the gendered statement people were referring to: "Let someone else teach HER that sex doesn't mean you'll be together forever." (emphasis mine)
And here's the ungendered (?) statement I said that in reply to: "Do men actually value a woman's virginity so much that they all want to be her first?" Yeah, I sure added gender to that conversation . . .
Not the sane ones. I find it very likely that the root of all of it as aleks notes the thread.
It is all about women as property, and men owning exclusive sexual access.
It is revolting on every level.
The reason virginity came to be valued so much in women is probably that men (or families) didn't want the firstborn heir to really be someone else's kid. You usually know who the mother is.
By the time I started masturbating and figuring out things out in the vaginal region, I didn't have a hymen. I've always felt that I never had one. I wasn't a particularly physically active kid/teen, so most of the usual ways I've heard for the hymen breaking/dissolving on its own wouldn't apply, and I certainly never felt anything. (though I'm not sure that I would have)
I figure I can't be the only one born without the Official Seal of Virginity (TM), so I've always wondered how the patriarchs managed to use it with such claimed accuracy for so many, many years.
Same here, Ayla.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the hymen has nothing to do with anything, especially since I discovered all of yesterday that mine is still more or less intact. It's survived multiple sexual partners, toys, gyno appointments, tampons, yoga and other physical activities I've heard of breaking them . . . I'm sure as hell not a virgin, but that sucker's still pretty much whole. Apparently it's indestructible. And I've only ever bled from sexual activity once, when the boy had four fingers of a damned large hand inside me (whoo, TMI.) So, the whole hymen-as-virginity test would fail hardcore with me.
Yeah I never felt a hymen while masturbating (when I was still a virgin) and I didn't feel it during my first sexual intercourses too. I never bled either.
Maybe it was so thin I couldn't feel it? Or maybe I just didn't have it at all?
This reminds me to buy a copy of Chronicle of a Death Foretold for my trip, so thanks for posting it. It's a great book, and the plot hinges on a bride not being a virgin. The older women of the town give her advice on how to fool the groom.
"It may be true that virgins haven't yet experienced sex,"
It may indeed.
" but that doesn't mean they know absolutely nothing about love or sex."
Which is one possible explanation for me not having said they do.
"A person does not need a partner to find out what they want from a sexual relationship. I've never had sex or been in a romantic relationship, but I believe I'm quite realistic about my expectations when the time comes. I'd like to think I'm not ignorant about sex at all, despite my lack of "experience." I may find that when it actually comes down to it I may find that what appeals to me theoretically may be different in practice, but my expectations are fairly realistic."
People don't generally view their own speculation as completely off-base and wrong.
"Not all virgins are perfectly pure, idealistic, and chaste, thank you very much."
I wish I could accept your thanks, but since I never in any way anywhere at any point implied such, I can only ask you to actually read what I wrote.
As someone who comes from a country where virginity is valued, the blood is important because there is the concept of the imaginary virgin. That is, there is only one type of virgin: demure, with an intact hymen, and pure. Somehow, she is also a better sexual partner because she is "tighter" than other women.
The obsession is not necessarily with the blood per se but with the whole package, with this weird ideal of a woman.The ideal is more than a little misguided. Virgins, for example, are always young and attractive.
In my community a virgin is a prime product. Men will sleep around with many women but when marriage time comes they desire a virgin. It is almost a status symbol. Virginity is also tied together with other notions. So, for example, a woman who sleeps around a lot must be a poor cook, a poor caregiver, etc. In contrast a virgin excels at these skills. She is not quarrelsome or difficult like the "easy" woman.
But the fact of the matter is that most women in my community deal in the businesses of appearances. Seldom is any young woman the innocent virgin of men's dreams, but as long as she *appears* to be one everything is fine. In fact, although I kept my virginity for many years because I appeared to be too free and out-spoken, I was labeled as one of those easy women.
Thus for women who like to play the appearance game this is just another added lie to a tapestry of lies.
As for the men who might enjoy this as a sex toy, I can only speculate it is some bizarre fantasy.
Sorry about the long rant.
The myth about virginity that annoys me the most is the "tighter" thing. True, first intercourse can be very painful because of that, but you can tone your PC muscles to become something that's better than tight: that is, toned. I will never forget the look on my ex's face the first time I gave a little squeeze. He was nearly 30 and had had 10 sex partners and had still never experienced that sensation.
As someone who comes from a country where virginity is valued, the blood is important because there is the concept of the imaginary virgin. That is, there is only one type of virgin: demure, with an intact hymen, and pure. Somehow, she is also a better sexual partner because she is "tighter" than other women.
The obsession is not necessarily with the blood per se but with the whole package, with this weird ideal of a woman.The ideal is more than a little misguided. Virgins, for example, are always young and attractive.
In my community a virgin is a prime product. Men will sleep around with many women but when marriage time comes they desire a virgin. It is almost a status symbol. Virginity is also tied together with other notions. So, for example, a woman who sleeps around a lot must be a poor cook, a poor caregiver, etc. In contrast a virgin excels at these skills. She is not quarrelsome or difficult like the "easy" woman.
But the fact of the matter is that most women in my community deal in the businesses of appearances. Seldom is any young woman the innocent virgin of men's dreams, but as long as she *appears* to be one everything is fine. In fact, although I kept my virginity for many years because I appeared to be too free and out-spoken, I was labeled as one of those easy women.
Thus for women who like to play the appearance game this is just another added lie to a tapestry of lies.
As for the men who might enjoy this as a sex toy, I can only speculate it is some bizarre fantasy.
Sorry about the long rant.
As someone who comes from a country where virginity is valued, the blood is important because there is the concept of the imaginary virgin. That is, there is only one type of virgin: demure, with an intact hymen, and pure. Somehow, she is also a better sexual partner because she is "tighter" than other women.
The obsession is not necessarily with the blood per se but with the whole package, with this weird ideal of a woman.The ideal is more than a little misguided. Virgins, for example, are always young and attractive.
In my community a virgin is a prime product. Men will sleep around with many women but when marriage time comes they desire a virgin. It is almost a status symbol. Virginity is also tied together with other notions. So, for example, a woman who sleeps around a lot must be a poor cook, a poor caregiver, etc. In contrast a virgin excels at these skills. She is not quarrelsome or difficult like the "easy" woman.
But the fact of the matter is that most women in my community deal in the businesses of appearances. Seldom is any young woman the innocent virgin of men's dreams, but as long as she *appears* to be one everything is fine. In fact, although I kept my virginity for many years because I appeared to be too free and out-spoken, I was labeled as one of those easy women.
Thus for women who like to play the appearance game this is just another added lie to a tapestry of lies.
As for the men who might enjoy this as a sex toy, I can only speculate it is some bizarre fantasy.
Sorry about the long rant.
Not my cup of tea but I could see why some people might want this for fun, a little role playing. What I'd like is for them to make one filled with delicious hot fudge. YUM-O!
Or better yet, Campbell's soup!
Man oh man, you guys got your knickers all in a bunch over something you found on a website that sells SEX TOYS??! I mean come on, there's all sorts of stuff involved in shall we say accessorized sex that would be considered 'anti-feminist' or 'anti-woman' or what-have-you--IF (and only IF) the woman in question was forced or even strongly coerced into it. But if it helps you along on the route to happiness, who cares? I sure as heck don't, whatever floats consenting adults' boats is just fine by me. I don't see the appeal myself, but hey, if people do, it's their bed :-) Besides, why you got a problem with the faux virginity, and not with say the thing called a 'ball stretcher'. Seems pretty 'anti-man' to me, huh, at least if we follow the same reasoning as with the fake hymen.
Seems to me like somebody went to the dodgy site just to find something over which to whip themselves (heh) into a self-righteous outrage--then when they predictably did, they started squealing foul! Reminds me of the old joke about the one who called the police to say she could see a man wandering around naked outside her window. The cops alight, all disgusted at the perv, go to the window, look out on the street, and ahead at the next house, sees nothing, 'where is he, ma'am, would you please point him out for us?' 'There, right there, look across' 'uh, where exactly?' "there, here, get on this stool, stretch a little, not up, Officer, just a little to the side, there!! In the house! See him??! Right there in the shower! The nerve of some people!'
lol
Plus, the thing was made in Japan. I don't know heaps about Japanese culture and sex, but what I do know, is that there's a lot of subcultures that are into stuff many westerners would consider pretty extreme and kinky (including whores that look very young--but, significantly, are not), BUT, they have much lower rates of sexual assault or rape than most west European and North AMerican societies. In that context, I would reckon the thing is even less a cause for worry. And the site does seem to have an Asian bent--the video category says Asian porn, only, nothing else.
I mean get a grip lol. Oh yeah, and lol @ Zardoz--that's the spirit, hehe ;-)
"BUT, they have much lower rates of sexual assault or rape than most west European and North AMerican societies. "
No they don't. They're just reported at lower rates.
"ems to me like somebody went to the dodgy site just to find something over which to whip themselves (heh) into a self-righteous outrage--then when they predictably did, they started squealing foul! "
The use of "squealing" here makes me think you are a troll. Squealing is most typically used to denigrate a female's complaint...
I have to say, your analogy's a little off.
First -- and this is merely semantics -- ball stretchers and fake hymens are completely different: ball stretchers hurt. However, some people like pain. A lot. We're not up in arms about clit clamps, are we?
No, I think I speak for the masses when I say the problem's not with using a fake hymen as a sex toy (at all), but with the way it was advertised: "Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable," the website says. It implies, at least, that the fake hymen is supposed to trick your lover into thinking you're a virgin.
We're not riled up at the site, or the device itself (you know, a place for everything and all that), but at the culture that puts so much weight on a tiny piece of skin and some blood.
All implications aside, this is one of the grossest things I've ever seen. Seriously. EW. I was so appalled, I almost thought it was a sick joke. I left a scathing review on the site, not really caring that it won't be posted -- someone will have to read it to filter it. Eugh.