I love the hairstyles on the ladies in photo #3!!

Hotness. Our parties bring the style.

Don't worry. He knows them.

WTF? Cuz if he didn't know them, the sight of a black guy walking past two white women at a party would be something to "worry" about?

Again -- WTF?

Wow, hugh.c.mcbride with the totally unwarranted attack. I wasn't commenting on his race. I was making fun of the teethy weird-ass look on his face. Jesus. And, while we're making racial claims, maybe you shouldn't assume the racial identity of the two women in the photo (one of whom is not white.)

I don't think the attack was unwarranted. Your comment about the picture suggested that we would otherwise think he was a random stranger lurking and watching two women talk.

"I was making fun of the teethy weird-ass look on his face"

Your response was also a bit defensive and unneccesary. Just because you weren't commenting on his race, it doesn't mean that other people will not interpret it as a comment on his race. There are so many other incidents where people on this website accuse other groups of racist undertones, and the response that these groups make is that they weren't trying to be racist, and that we're just looking for racist undertones. This is a similar scenario, even though you may not have said it because of his race, it doesn't mean that others will not see racist undertones. The way you commented on the picture gave the feeling of racist undertones, and even if you weren't commenting on his race, it's perfectly reasonable for people to call you out on it, because they don't know the motive behind everything you say.

Even your response about him assuming the racial identity of one of the people seemed to be a defensive leap instead of a well thought out response to a legitimate question. I'm not accusing you of being racist, but I want to defend hugh.c.mcbride's attempt to call out a potentially racist undertone.

Before this snowballs...let me just be clear.
I am fully aware of the "scary black man" stereotype and did not intend to further it in any way with my attempt at humor here. I apologize if it came off that way to those who don't know me or the context.
I also want to say, I think there's something really sad about the assumption that a diverse community hanging out together can't make jokes without it being pegged as racism. I roll with a lot of different kinds of people and I take for granted that they want me to be an equal opportunity jokester with all of them, not walk on eggshells should it be interpreted as some sort of racist attack. Maybe that sounds all Colbert "I don't see race" naive to some people, but when it comes to my friends, I don't like the idea of seeing every encounter/joke/conversation through a racial lens.

Courtney, i'm with you here. Sometimes a comment is just a comment, especially among (and about) friends.

Courtney, i'm with you here. Sometimes a comment is just a comment, especially among (and about) friends.

Personally, I found the caption confusing, as I couldn't see anything but a guy smiling awkwardly at the camera and waving. Then I thought, "Oh, he's black... that's what she must have meant!"

I, too, think it's sad that we have to be culturally sensitive when making jokes, but the unfortunate reality is that we don't live in a vacuum free of prejudice and racism, and it doesn't take deliberate intention to make something prejudiced, hurtful, and inappropriate.

OMG, it looks so so much fun. So many awesome, diverse, feminists!
I'm so jealous. I will attend a feminist happy hour one day. One glorious day!

I turn 21 in approximately 9 months, YAY!

"I don't like the idea of seeing every encounter/joke/conversation through a racial lens."

Does that apply to the gender lens too?

Y'all y'all y'all. Please. There is a lot of rather acerbic and unnecessary accusations going on here. I know this site cultivates extra prejudice awareness, but when someone apologizes and explains what they perceived to be a completely neutral joke intended among friends, I think it's OK to put down the guns.

The comment needs to be interpreted IN CONTEXT.

If you find something uncomfortable, written by another member/editor of the group, try to voice your uncertainties in a way which doesn't brutally tar the other blogger (especially since no one here, who supports the general premises of this sight, actually harbors visceral racist prejudices).

It's so easy to attack, and it seems like some people are doing just this merely to be able to jab a finger at an apparent "hypocritical" slip on a Feminist blog.

It's not respectful, and it's not constructive. How are we to build a movement AMONG OURSELVES if we are continually waiting to unequivocally damn others when they slip up?

Just in case the opinion of the heretofore anonymous teethy weirdo/angry black man holds any weight here, this is my take:

I don't think Courtney's caption was meant to be offensive and, to be clear, no offense was taken. Let me explain, to those who won't simply take my word for it. I a normally very handsome black man who was accompanying his girlfriend (you might know her as the apparently racially ambiguous woman in the picture in question) to a feministing happy hour. In the midst of all the revelry, I became aware just a second too late of a picture that was being taken of her chatting with a friend. The picture thus captured three emotions that were facially manifested, all at once: surprise at the picture being taken, objection to a picture being taken, and a desire to alert the breach of privacy to the subjects in the picture's foreground (again, my girlfriend and friend). Hence, the picture was funny if you know me and the circumstances of the situation. The picture was not funny, and possibly even worrisome, if you were not in-the-know and my grotesque and slightly stalker-like face had no rational explanation for you. Courtney's caption was simply cluing the larger audience in on the joke so that it would be good fodder for mass ridicule via the internet. That's what good bloggers and good friends do- use the people they party with to entertain their internet audience. So you see- it was all in good fun.

So, just for a recap:
1) If you knew the situation the picture was funny.
2) Courtney knew the situation, and tried to relay that situation to her blog audience in the all encompassing term "he knows them."
3) I am actually quite handsome in real life. (This last point is of course crucial to true understanding of the deep theoretical roots contained in this post)

I think people are waaaaay too sensitive these days.Well beyond this instance this place is on constant gotcha alert. As a WoC I saw two friends having a night out and a guy thinking about making a move. Turns out they were all friends. I think sometimes the offense we see comes from out own mindset...

Why is everyone jumping all over Courtney? Instead, let's just see pictures of a party and be happy and assume good will before we attack everyone for perceived racism (which to be honest could be more racist on the commenter's part than on Courtney's...).
This is why people accuse activists of having no sense of humor. Stop raining on everyone's parade, would ya? I think it looked like a fun party!

I am so bummed that I missed the party :( I live in LA and am in NY this weekend on vacation and I WISH the party was this weekend. totally 100% bummed out.

ps. since my husband makes stupid faces at the camera all the time (he is not black), I never for one second thought the caption had anything to do with the race of the guy. You would have to use that caption if that was him in the picture. (although I know there is that connection in some people's heads and it might be in my -and maybe courtney's- blind spot)

I've waited several days to comment on this, but the post and thread really disturbs me. Not so much because of the pictures (although I think there could have been more discretion here -- the context isn't "between friends" anymore once you post things on a widely trafficked public blog), but because of the arguments defending them. I mean, "you're being too sensitive"? "Why does everything have to be about race"? Seriously? These are what REAL racists use (and, for that matter, sexists too, and anti-LGBT people, just replace "race" with "gender" or "sexuality".) Can we not legitimize them, please?

I don't understand why people are so quick to throw their metaphorical shoes at others on this website. Yes, her comment could be interpreted as racist, but I sincerely doubt she meant it that way. Why can't people give others the benefit of the doubt and cut them some slack from time to time?!?

I can definitely understand how that comment could have been taken the wrong way, BUT the fact that it was made by a feminist, anti-racist member of this community about her friend (and that she and he both explained that she was refering to his expression) makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE. YAY for context.

On another note, looks like a fun time! cant wait to take part in the festivities.

Courtney: My comment wasn't an attack -- it was a combination complaint/question that I should've phrased more respectfully than I did. And for that, I apologize.

I appreciate your taking the time to respond to what I wrote. I understand the context of your comment much more than I initially did, & I got a much-needed reminder in how I can disagree with someone without being disagreeable myself.

Thank you again for responding to my comment, and for all the great thoughts & insights you & the other posters continue to make on this great site.

To everyone else who commented on this thread: Thank you for (a) letting me that I wasn't alone in having concerns about that caption and (b) making it clear that I could've done a much better job of expressing those concerns.

One of the most inspiring aspects of Feministing is the manner in which it facilitates and encourages passionate discourse among intelligent individuals. Whether I'm having my beliefs reinforced or my assumptions/ignorance challenged, the time I spend reading this site (and the few comment threads I've participated in) makes me, I believe, smarter, more compassionate, and more aware of the work we all need to continue to do.

Thanks to all for your contributions to this community, and for allowing me to take part in the conversation.

I KNEW IT!!

I was going through these pictures and I saw the caption on that one and I laughed because of the face that the man is making.

Then I realized that people were going to take it way out of context and clicked on the comments to see if I was right.

That is an awful stereotype but what's just as awful is to project it onto a totally innocent situation.