Don't treat women well - just get them jewelry!
Check out JC Penny's new viral marketing campaign for their jewelry line. Not only does it paint men as clueless assholes, but it also promotes the tired idea that all women want is quiche-eating, jewelry buyers. I just find this one insulting all-around.
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I think the whole "doghouse" thing is cute (and god I wish I had one of those) but I can totally see where this is a ridiculous ad.
Although I would love a stick of memory with a "thanks for the memories!" note. But I'm a nerd. :)
I thought the memory thing was cute, too! I guess girls aren't supposed to like practical, techie gifts?
I loved the memory, too! Also, I wouldn't mind a vacuum cleaner - as long as it was a Roomba! I've wanted one of those for years!
How many exclamation points can I use in one post? :-)
Omg, I have a Roomba! I *love* it! They are a little pricey but SO worth it. They don't do the best job on high pile carpet or lots of pet hair, but on the berber in my apartment, and in the dorm I lived in at college, it did a great job! The best part is the happy little song it plays, like it's so proud of itself! :)
The best part is the happy little song it plays, like it's so proud of itself!
That is so flippin' cute. ^.^
I may have to get one... I'm sure the techie-bf would love it too. Though it might come down to a coin toss between the roomba and one of those alarm-clocks that runs away so you can't hit the snooze button.
Ooooh, I want one SO MUCH! My husband and I are both allergic to dust, and it would be so great to be able to leave the room while there is vacuuming. Although half the fun is watching it.... :-)
I totally need more RAM for my computer, I can't play netflix online because I don't have enough, that'd be a great gift for me, and the note would just make me giggle and go kiss my boyfriend.
I would love the memory stick with the note as a gift. I would find that much more romantic then that strange diamondy thing.
I too would like to get memory! This is an incredibly long commercial. A long, offensive, commercial.
OMFG yes! You are correct!
I am getting tired of the stereotype that all women love jewelry. I am a woman and I do not like jewelry. I'd rather have, oh, I don't know, electronics or books or something more practical and FUN. I guess I must have a penis, then, huh? Because why would a woman want something fun?!
...You know, the memory-stick guy didn't belong there- his gift may have been un-romantic but at least it was motivated by niceness, and it was thoughtful even if it hit off the mark.
If I needed memory and my partner were sensitive enough to my needs to get me some, AND was cute about it, I'd be pretty happy. Much more so then if I got a "default-romantic" gift requiring no thought.
But speaking as someone who just got a humidifier from her partner (which, by the way, has improved my life massively this week) I'm cearly not an authority on romantic gifts!
Another article on this here:
http://learnedonwomen.com/2008/12/gift-giving-doghouse/
What's funny about me and my partner is he really doesn't want a practical gift unless he specifically asks for it (never). I don't mind if it's something that I want. I learned this when I got him electric toothbrushes one year. I guess my mistep is that it was the last gift he opened and he thought it was anti-climatic. Ever since then I always wrap up a "gift" that I was going to buy anyway for the house and have him open it first. Last year he got a humidifier and his year's b-day he got replacement toothbrushes. I actually asked for a number of practical gifts this year like new baking sheets and some other stuff I can't remember right now. He argues that I ask for cooking stuff because it's something that I enjoy and no one really enjoys brushing their teeth.
I can't see youtube at work, so I can't see this ad. I do remember hearing an ad on tv just the other day that actually said "If you get her the diamond, you won't need the mistletoe." I was rather p'd off at the entitlement of that crap.
What was it that David Olgilvy said? You can't bore people into buying your products?
What a freakin' YAWNER! Dumb, too.
...Or you can get me a 3k diamond shotgun so I can kill myself before I have to hear another ad telling me how much I love jewelery and would rather have that than something, I don't know, FUN! Or USEFUL.
Of course it paints men as clueless, it's supposed to! I thought it was great.
What bothers me is that the "clueless man" is indicative of a relationship without effective communication. We're adults, shouldn't we be able to talk about our feelings, without throwing one partner in "the doghouse" because we expected him or her to read our minds?
As a side note, I would be so totally into a vacuum cleaner. Especially one of those $400 Dyson models. I'd use it every day, and never get tired of exclaiming, "Look at how much sh*t it picks up! Amazing!"
Meh...it didn't bother me. I don't know too many women buds that would get angry about getting jewelry for a gift. All of the reasons the guys were in the dog house were self centered ones...(the guy saying his MIL was hot, or the guy that gave his wife an ab machine). Reaching guys in a silly way that the gift is supposed to be for the enjoyment of the receiver, rather than the giver, is a good thing.
It's not necessarily just implying that you should get her what she wants; it TELLS you what she wants. I don't like a commercial telling the person I love what I want. They just want to sell their product by affirming the idea that all women want is jewelry, which is BS. If my boyfriend proposed to me using a ring from a gumball machine I'd be just as happy as getting a pointless shiny rock. If this commercial was just a "get the message out that you should be more thoughtful" type thing, that would be fine... But it's selling a product, not promoting getting a personalized gift.
This commercial is weird. Because on the one hand, many women would find it offensive to get a vacuum or workout equipment that they didn't even ask for- but we're not all into jewelry. I personally HATE diamonds- aesthetically, economically (the idea of wearing a decoration that could have paid for something much more important) and ethically (the exploitation involved in getting diamonds in general). Way before I decided to never get married, I knew that if anyone ever proposed to me with a diamond ring, that would be the end right there. That would be a rather clear (and sparkly!) sign that they don't get me at all.
It's certainly not THE most offensive ad for holiday shopping ever. But I was shocked by how LONG it is was. Geezlousie, I shot past most of it to get to the point at the end.
Seriously, all we want are thoughtful gifts.
Is this 2008? Really? *shakes head*
Ads like this paint the entire feminist movement as silly and give the average guy another example to point to when they feel that they've been wronged because "equality [between the sexes] isn't fair to them". A big part of the feminist movement was and continues to be holding sexist men accountable for their sexist behavior (calling out men who don't promote or pay women fairly, making sexual harassment a serious offense, imposing harsher rape charges, etc. etc.), and in part, that's what this ad is doing. When a husband criticizes his wife for her eating habits and the way she looks and gives her a thighmaster for Christmas, he's held accountable by being thrown 'in the doghouse'.
But by framing the women as judges on an appeals board who ask "trick questions", make naughty men fold laundry, and decide the man's fate in a relationship, JC Penney are giving men yet another reason to argue that women who object to being treated like whole human beings are just angry, bitter bitches who want to take revenge on innocent men, especially by punishing them like they were little boys. But really, in the end, all you need to do is buy a woman a piece of jewelry and the angry monster is soothed. (::gag::)
And of course, the entire ad is composed of middle-class, white heterosexuals with a token black guy thrown in, to be safe. Inspiring, JC Penney.
Exactly! They're being punished by having to do girl chores - folding laundry! The horror! It's torture! But if they get her jewelry, well then they can get back to the manly work of breadwinning and she'll happily revert to doing the horrible, horrible tortuous woman-servant job of laundry!
I agree. What I also dont like in this ad is how it overlooks how many women only use passive aggressive ways of communicating to their male partner rather than being upfront and direct. They compensate for the disconnection by the use of passive aggression because they may feel they have to do most of the sacrifice in the relationship. It also creates an image of men as incompetent and clueless and women should 'just be happy with whatever they get because men dont (cant) know any better because theyre men.' I thought the commercial made it seem like the men were just innocently making minor misshaps and the women (being as theyre women) were being overly emotional, reactionary and sensitive. I would be pissed if my partner got me a vaccum. Either the guy in the commercial was getting that for her because she does most of the housework, which is unfair (and should be amended by a direct and open discussion) or he's buying that for her because he thinks women are naturally inclined to want that. Very insulting.
The idea that all women want jewelry is pretty tired, but I find it hard to blame a jewelry commercial for trying to sell that message.
I found the commercial kind of clever and somewhat subversive. The men were shown to be clueless jackasses, but in the interest of showing that treating women like housework is a hobby, childcare is easy, and they should conform to men's desires is BEING a clueless jackass. I got the impression we should be laughing at them, not with them, and wives weren't shown as particularly unreasonable. Yeah the end isn't so great, but again, it's what I expect from a commercial.
I found it subversive in a different way. Agreed, the main reason behind most of the guys' "banishment" isn't that they bought the wrong gift (well, maybe not in the case of memory guy and we never are given the full reasons for vacuum-cleaner guy's gift, who both seemed somewhat sympathetic) but that their reasons *behind* buying the gift/compliment/comment were wrong. Still, the commercial presents two ways to get out of the "doghouse": either work a share of domestic chores and listen to advise regarding their relationships and attitudes towards their partners--a choice criticised and belittled as institutional, immasculating, and set up for failure by the droning speaker, "feminine" food, and "trick question" review panel--OR the materialistic approach of buying the "right" gift: jewelry.
Had the commercial also managed to show that Arnold had realized the ultimate reason for his "banishment" lay in his attitude and had altered that along with purchasing his partner a gift she enjoyed, then I'd have less of a problem with it. And while part of the joke is that the "inmates" DON'T recognize the problems in their attitudes, without a contrasting commentary on the effectiveness of personal change the criticism of domestic equality goes unchallenged and is just as much a part of the commercial's pitch as the necklace is.
It IS a commercial so it does make sense for JC Penny to glorify the a material in order to sell more jewelry, but given that it is still a struggle for domestic equality to be taken seriously in advertising, nevermind society as a whole, this Orwellian characterization comes across as not casually ignorant but moreintentionally dismissive.
It's the folding thing that bothers me the most. Oh, those poor men who screwed up and have to fold! It's a household chore, not a punishment, and this commercial just continues the idea that it's a woman's job. Folding, or other chores, for men just doesn't exist unless they're being forced to do it.
I'm so sick of "Poor, clueless husband just doesn't get it!" Sorry, but if you can't appreciate why it's rude to tell your wife she is fat or that her mom is hot, you shouldn't be married. Marriage requires a certain maturity level. Those guys weren't just clueless, they were selfish asshats. They didn't respect their wives, and they didn't care enough to appreciate why their wives' feelings were hurt.
Unless, of course, they're some of the guys who were appreciative and respectful, but didn't get their wives jewelry. Because, in JC Penny land, even if you're a good husband, you're not worth anything unless you get the right gift. And no woman would ever think that a faster computer with an adorable sentiment is the Right Gift, because we're all vain, materialistic gold diggers, amirite?
I actually read laundry as being more of a nod to a classic prison job, that is ALSO a household chore.
Given that it's a job mostly associated with WOMEN'S prisons, I wouldn't be too quick to give it a pass on that alone.
Well, there's a few offensive things in this ad, not the least of which is the suggestion that diamonds from JC Penny are worth giving. From what I've seen (and admittedly I haven't been there lately) JC Penny has crap jewelery.
Seriously, though, I don't know that this ad is so awful- the women (wives?) all WANT the jewelery, instead of the vacuums, memory, or ab whatevers (I thought that was a thighmaster?) Maybe I'm being optimistic but I sort of saw it as encouraging thoughtful giving- getting a gift for someone that THEY want, meaning that you are mindful of their desires.
For my birthday, my boyfriend got me a sewing machine. Not because he thought it was what I wanted, being a woman and all, but because he knew that was what I wanted. On the face of it, it might have seemed like a sexist gift, but in reality it was very thoughtful. And that's how I looked at this ad, as illustrating the problem of thoughtless gifts.
**Full disclosure: My Dad has a piggy bank at their jeweler and he drops money off on a regular basis. They keep a list of pieces that my Mom likes, and when he is "in the doghouse" he calls and has them wrap up something for her. She LIKES jewelery, so it works for them. If the piggy bank were at the hardware store, not so much.
How do you know that the women all want jewelry? There's no indication of that. None of them say that. That's the idea of the commercial, but the commercial wants you to think that all women want jewelry.
I thought the answer to "how do you get out?" was "apologize," since that's what the soothing, inspirational announcer voice was saying at the time.
Well, I suppose I don't *know* that they want jewelery. You certainly have a point. But that was my interpretation- that the women wanted a thoughtful gift (in this case, jewelery.) Like I said, I might be overly optimistic/full of holiday cheer/whathaveyou but that was what I hope was the message.
As for the apology, that's another thing I figured was implicit. The gift would have just been another part of the reparations.
I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with the ad, there definitely is, especially because JC Penny sells other stuff besides jewelery. They could have had a man in trouble because he got his wife jewelery but she wanted a power saw. Then the message could have been "pay attention to what she really wants, not just what you think she wants, because that's what considerate people do." An ad like that might be more likely to get people's attention.
The idea that you think that it is cute when your father buys your mother off with jewelry and actually plans for the occasion is disgusting to me.
That's not what he does, and that's not what I meant to imply. It's not really conducive to a dialogue to call someone's family disgusting, but I'll explain.
Here's an example from last week. My Dad was supposed to clean out the garage, because they had some company coming over. He kept putting it off, and finally the day before the guests were coming, she said that it must be done by the time she got home from work. When she got home, it wasn't done because he had been goofing off instead of working.
He still had to clean the garage, which he did that evening. The next morning, he went to the jewelery store and got her a gift, to show that he cares and was sorry for disappointing her.
What I think is cute is not that she is being bought off (if you met my mom, you'd know that that's not really possible with her) but that he goes to the extra effort of giving her gifts (that he knows she very much wants) in addition to apologizing and righting whatever mistake was made. It is not that he gives her a gift and all is forgiven. It's not magic.
And I think that it is nice that after years of having an abusive husband who made her feel like she was worthless, she found the strength to leave him and now she has a second husband who treats her like a queen.
That's the problem right there, though. They wrote about a bunch of women, all who wanted jewelry. This wasn't some random happenstance, it's not a group of real women who all want jewelry. JC Penny made the decision to include no one but women who want jewelry. Considering the rest of advertising that explicitly says women only want jewelry, you can hardly blame us for being annoyed.
If it was about thoughtful gifts, there would be an emphasis on thought. JC Penny isn't just a jewelry store, they could have easily made references to their other products being good gifts. But they didn't, because jewelry is the only product they were trying to sell.
Not to mention that they derided gifts that could have been thoughtful. The gym membership and RAM could both be good, thoughtful gifts, and both were presented as bad choices. Not to mention that they don't present the idea of an apology being the way to get out and back into her good graces, it was just a necklace. You're making a lot of assumptions, and at the very least it's fair enough that we make the opposite assumptions.
What bothers me most about this commercial is the doghouse image, which stereotypes heterosexual couples as "hopelessly clueless guy" and "I-refuse-to-communicate-with-my-partner bitch." Seriously, JCPenney, the *doghouse*?? The whole concept of the doghouse illustrates a relationship without communication, one where partners shut each other out in petty, destructive ways. This commercial's glorification of the doghouse as something that angry women operate as a punishment factory is extremely negative.
Because if you're an asshole, all you need to do is buy her something sparkly and overpriced and she'll love you again. And we wonder why so many men still think women are, at their core, available for sale. When do we get to drop this meme again?
Honestly, I'd love it if my boyfriend got me memory for my computer, and I'd think it cute as hell if he attached a silly note to it like that. Two birthdays ago, my present was a 250G external hard drive for my laptop. This last birthday it was a gun. Both times it was exactly what I wanted, and all was happiness in the land of relationship. He's never once bought me jewelry, and we like it that way. Yet he's supposed to feel bad because he doesn't buy me sparkly shit. Wtf-ever.
According to this ad, men are clueless and emotionally retarded, but at the same time, women are mean, shallow, and simple.
Perhaps we are not merely fighting sexism, but, rather, a general cynicism towards human kind as a whole.
I think that sums up the Christmas advertising as a whole, really.
Don't forget, children are greedy, uncontrollable, unruly, walking disaster-monsters. Gotta get our cynicism on for the whole family!
You know, I live in Texas, a supposedly very conservative place that aims at preserving the nuclear family, and I've never seen a woman forgive a man for simply buying her a necklace, a man so stupid he would buy his wife/girlfriend a thigh master, or a child so selfish it would throw an uncontrollable fit if it didn't get the right present on Christmas.
I think we're being fooled here, people.
I remember some years ago my Dad relayed an anecdote where he told a co-worker that he was getting Mom a new toaster for their anniversary, and she said, "What? If my husband got me a toaster for our anniversary, it would mean divorce." He had to explain that no, she asked him for the toaster.
It'd be nice if they emphasized listening to your partner when they tell you what they want; as someone else pointed out, JC Penney sells plenty of things. Still wouldn't solve that entire dysfunctional "doghouse" business, mind you.
My problem with this is that in the greater society the equation is: money = love. Ergo MORE MONEY = MORE LOVE. Reciprocation, escalation. Where does it stop?
Whole families are probably spending themselves broke on the holidays this minute in order to acknowledge each other. WTF? Can't we do better than this? My family bakes cookies and makes stuff by hand. Me and most of them are generally holding hands with the poverty line from year to year anyway; I guess gift giving is fun if you have the money to spend. One of the best gifts I gave my aunt was this lovely hardwood buffet I trash picked by the million dollar homes in town. They broke a handle, was 1960s vintage with drawer pulls spaced at about 6.5 inches, you can't replace them. I spent $40 on new brass pulls, installing singles where the broken bar pulls were, and she loves it all these years later.
I don't give a damn if my bf bought me anything at all; I've asked him to not bother with "holidays". Especially super BS ones like "Sweetest Day". I like him as a person, that he's got my back when I need help, is supportive of my struggle for success, and folds laundry nicely of his own volition. Heh. I must be "low maintenance". You want to spend money on me? Send a few dollars to UNICEF or ASPCA or something in my name.
I gave my bf a painting I did that he admired a long time back for no reason. I don't need to say "I love you" with money. Neither do you; there are other ways.
There are situations when I would not mind a vacuum cleaner as a gift. But, an Anniversary will never be one of those times. Birthday, probably not then, either. Christmas, maybe, if I get other things too, and if I've been wanting it, and it's only because I'm the one that does the vacuuming in our house. We've split the chores evenly, and that's one of mine. I also find the whole folding laundry thing a bit offensive as well - the prison idea helps (I didn't think of that), but why only laundry? Why no license plates? And all that droning in the background about "talk about your feelings" and the quiche and chai latte at the end. Just gives me more and more reason not to go there anymore, especially after the "we don't do black hair" idiocy.
My take:
1) I'm not offended by the commercial's implication that all women like jewelry, since it's a jewelry commercial. The vacuum cleaner was a sexist gift, in that it implies housework as the woman's provenance--and as something that brings her great joy. Very Feminine Mystique. Unless you're like my mom, in which case you love gadgets of all kinds.
2) I'm sad about the RAM guy. That note was cute. And more RAM is a gift actually for her, whereas vacuums and exercise equipment benefit the giver.
3) I'm annoyed that they pretended that was an ab exerciser. Clearly a thigh master. Shame on you, props master.
4) Can we stop hating on quiche? Quiche is great! So too are chai lattes. Honestly that was what I found most sexist and irksome--the whole "some foods are manly, and others gay" thing pisses me off.
I would be pretty offended if a guy got me a vacuum cleaner or a piece or workout equipment. That's pretty sexist.
However, I would much rather have a rare book I've been wanting or some cool techie thing than just some standard diamond thing from J.C. Penny's. I love jewelry and think it's a wonderful gift, but there needs to be effort involved. Just some standard kind-of-ugly-looking necklace isn't going to do it for me just because it's made of diamonds. In fact, I'd rather have a fake piece that's more personal. Something that reflects my interests (I love vintage pieces and things that have a floral look to them) means much more to me than just having diamonds in it.
I think getting some boring mass produced diamond necklace from a chain store shows that you don't know your girlfriend and what she's into just as much as getting a vacuum cleaner would. Unless she asked for either of those things, of course.
Diamond commercials are the worst part about Christmas every year, but this one should win an award.
this commercial is so true. Most women due want jewelry. Why would they not want it.
sterling silver jewelry
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