I don't know, maybe I'm missing something, because I don't see it as being that bad.

The implication of the ad is that baby-wearing is a "new fad" (as opposed to an ancient way of toting your kid) that will make you hurt and make you cry. Additionally, the woman in the ad says she'll continue to hurt herself (as opposed to finding a different baby carrier or adjusting the one she has) because it makes her "look like an official mom". All of this ignores the benefits of baby-wearing, distilling it down to a fad that will cause pain but that should be embraced for it's looks. And it never mentions the many fathers who wear their kids.

It's not even that offensive. It's an annoying video and it goes on too long, but there is nothing offensive about it.

We've become so politically correct, it's pathetic, really.

Get over it.

I actually like commercials that poke fun at the new 'professional mom'. These are the helicopter parents who co-sleep and breastfeed through college and who micromanage every aspect of their kid's lives and end up creating a neurotic mess.They are martyr moms who think that the more you suffer for your kids the better a mother you are. A reality check might do them good.

OMG
that is offensive, annoying, condescending and turned me off to their product.

What about the ridiculous bus stop ads I've been seeing everywhere? Have they been pulled too?

They feature two giant Motrin tablets next to each other, each with a different word written on them. For example, "high - heels" or "heavy - handbag" I hadn't seen the television ad until today, but those street ads really piss me off.

Instead of doing something like wearing comfortable shoes, just abuse pain relievers!

OMG
that is offensive, annoying, condescending and turned me off to their product.

The ad is telling me to use Motrin, because it assumes that I, the target group, one of many, many, must be physically harming myself in order to both *be* a good parent, and *look* like a good parent. The ad tells me that the face of good motherhood is one of stress and pain! And that rather than changing my lifestyle to alleviate this, I should just suck it up like everyone else and take some pain killers! Because motherhood is just supposed to hurt a lot! And if it doesn't, I'm probably a bad parent.

*gag*

For your information:

I am aware that co-sleeping,extended breastfeeding (notice I made fun of women who breastfeed through college which is hyperbolic for those of you who didn't catch that.....no one was talking about breastfeeding in general but rather making fun of the martyr moms who just don't ever seem to know when to let go because 100% of their identity is wrapped up in their children), etc. are nothing new but they have made a new appearance in our culture and have been promoted in a faddish way. These practices may be the norm in Third World countries but that is not where I look for advice on the best way to live my life. There is a new breed of mother who has replaced her office career with childrearing and thus feels that her daily routine at home must be managed as thoroughly as her former office routine since mothering is 'the most important job in the world' and all. These moms are the ones who feel guilty if they have any personal goals for themselves that don't involve their children. Unfortunately these women are also the ones whose marriage takes a backseat and their spouses are relegated to being nothing more than sperm donors or walking ATMs and are expected to suck it up 'for the children'. Whether you want to admit it or not these women exist and many people (women as well as men) see it as foolish and unattractive and at times pathological. I don't see how being a slave to your kids is any less repressive than being a slave to anything else. Love your kids, take care of them, be there for them......but it's okay to have a life for yourself and it doesn't make you a bad mom.

I think some women saw a little too much of themselves in that commercial and that's why it cuts so deep. Too bad.

Crumpet:

Whoa, way to place women into binary categories that don't exist!

I happen to be a baby-wearin', breast-feedin', co-sleepin' mama.

I also work at a full-time, intellectually-satisfying job.

I am not a "slave" to my kids, and my spouse does at LEAST as much of the housework/baby work as I do.

Creating caricatures of women, and then tearing those caricatures apart, is NOT feminist.

This ad is disgusting. I am not a mother myself but I know a lot of baby-wearing mom's, and I believe it is an extremely healthy and beneficial way of raising a child - so, yes, this ad is offensive. Especially the "it's SUPPOSEDLY a bonding experience", and "it's a fashion" and "who knows what they'll come up with". I can tell you one thing, Motrin pissed off the wrong people. It is awesome that mom's are speaking out and forced Motrin to take the ad down.

Molly said:
Whoops, sorry for the double post. Guess the blatant racism and prejudice just got to me.

Way to make assumptions, Molly, but those charges of racism (which is completely off topic)don't phase me. If you think that mass poverty (which determines a lot of the childrearing practices that occur)and infant mortality and female genital mutilation and honor killings and such are worthy of replication, good for you. Like I said, that is not where I get the blueprint on how to live my life.

To the offended posters that followed mine where I'm accused of placing women in binary postions that don't exist: if I wasn't talking about you...if what I described doesn't match your life at all....then how did you recognize yourself enough to get you so pissed off that you respond by telling me how your life isn't anything like that? Are you telling me that there are no women out there who are like I described? None at all? You know of absolutely no women who have given up all of their identity outside of their role as a mother? Quit protesting so much and just accept that other people may see something differently than you.

I feel Motrin failed because they were making fun of the market they're trying to get. The message I saw was, "Babywearing is a fad without any "real" benefits and you're a superficial mom if you do it. Hey, now you should buy our product!"

Though I don't pretend to know the perspectives of other women and mothers, I also don't understand why this ad is offensive. I see Motrin making a point: women really do have a thankless job carrying their babies, even though it can be painful, as matter of sacrifice.

I DO agree that the bus stop ads are offensive. Women shouldn't have to put up with apparel trends that cause discomfort, like "high - heels" or "heavy - handbag".

Just because a method of carrying a baby is ancient doesn't make it ergonomic. I am sure there are mothers, including mothers who are members of the cultural groups from which this practice originated, who do end up with back strain or a headache from carrying their baby in a sling. I do not find this ad offensive. I read from the uproar a certain indignation that Motrin had the gall to proclaim that sometimes mothering kind of sucks.

I don't find the bus stop ads offensive, either. Women wear high heels. Women carry heavy handbags. Yes, there are alternatives, but women receive a complex sort of approval for engaging in feminine behaviors - and a complex sort of disapproval for not engaging in them. Telling a woman to stop wearing her high heels can be condescending when it doesn't take social feedback into account. I prefer that women take two doses of radical feminism, but those can be really hard to swallow, so out come the uncomfortable shoes and the Motrin.

Some of the ad was OK, and was even cute.

What I didn't like was the implication that wearing your baby has to hurt (so fewer women are likely to try this very easy way of carrying a child) and that women are doing it for the looks of things...and that last line, that moms are crazed, was really belittling. Wearing your baby doesn't hurt (if it does, then a different sling or carrier should be tried), and it's not a fad; I wore my babies back in the 80s, and it was by far the easiest method of carting them around.

For those of you who don't have children: small folding strollers are rarely ergonomic unless you pay a lot, especially if you are tall; big strollers are heavy to lift in and out of cars and aren't always easy to use in crowded areas. Hefting around a baby carrier IS difficult because of all that weight on the end of one arm, and carrying a babe in arms makes your arms and shoulders take the strain instead of allowing your skeletal frame to do the majority of the work.

Just wanted to throw in a heads up as to how much I love this site. Having no mothering experience and truthfully having not really thought about mothering at all, upon watching the video for the first time I wasn't particularly enraged. After reading some of these comments, however, I view it in a completely different light. Thanks for the enlightenment :)

The bus stop ads I've seen and I personally don't find that offensive. I actually laughed, because I adore high heels and am always carrying around three or four notebooks (i can't keep all my poetry in just one organized tome, apparently :P) and a bottle of juice, so yes, my handbag is roughly the weight of a small whale. I'm not trying to discount any experiences of other women upon seeing the ad - I mean, if you're offended you're offended, straight up - just offering up another point of view.

You're conflating two stereotypes of mothers. Many, many co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby-wearing parents also believe strongly in independent play. "Helicopter mom" refers more to the minivan driving soccer mom controlling who watches over every move. These women don't necessarily support attachment parenting; in fact many vehemently oppose it.

Eh, considering that the kids of crazy "attachment parents" wind up REALLY messed up (never known one who didn't end either in therapy or needing it but not able to get it for whatever reason once they reached adulthood), I'm okay with mocking them a little. I mean, I'd RATHER they got education on children's real psychological needs that was based in long-term scientific studies, instead of reading trendy books based of a doctor's guesswork and racist studies of Third-World societies with assumptions that "primitive" women must be happier and have happier children (which is very, very false, they have just as much and more worries than we do); but I'll settle for just not defending the practice (And babywearing is probably not going to be super bad, it's the cosleeping/responding to every need/can't be without them or let them play on their own aspects of the AP fad that are really super damaging to the children).

Some moms are happier with this new "attachment" parenting, many are not. Some children survive it (kids are resilient), most are left emotionally scarred.

That said? The ad was stupid. If it was targeting AP moms, it should have been more respectful of their parenting style. If it was targeting other moms who don't practice AP, it should have actually talked about real issues those mothers face instead of mocking a parenting style that has nothing to do with them. So while I've seen attachment parenting to be dangerous and abusive, I'm glad the ad campaign was stopped, because it was moronic and pointless.

(Sorry for the rant, I just have seen so much pain as a result of attachment parenting and I can't resist the opportunity to warn people who might hear about it before they subject their own kids to it. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN!)

It's a shame that the subject material was crappy, 'cause the ad was very cleverly made.

Anyways, Motrin is bad for you. Omega-3s are a much better natural anti-inflammatory solution. I had a friend in high school who actually went into kidney failure because of Motrin. There's a really awesome supplement I take regularly and I haven't had back pain in AGES. www.mymoxxor.com/shop

As a currently baby-wearing mom, I actually didn't find this ad offensive. I can completely understand why some women do, especially with the use of "supposedly". One thing about that word is that if they didn't have it in there, it would sound like they are making a factual claim, which you just know someone would call them on legally. However, having it in there obviously seems like they are making fun of it.

Now, what I DO find offensive are alot of the comments on this thread about different parenting styles. Every family is different and needs to find their own way through life. As parents, we try out best. It will never be perfect but we are trying. I do have very strong feelings about what is good parenting for me but it isn't my place to tell other people how to parent. There is a wealth of information out there from every type of source in the world (legitimate doctors, psycologists, spiritualists, etc. and crack-pot doctors, psycologists, spiritualists, etc.) People can read for themselves and make up their own minds. It isn't my job to save people. However, I find it EXTREMELY offensive when other people make broad sweeping generalizations about why people do choose certain parenting techniques and how that automatically will screw kids up. Alot of people think that gay parents (no matter how intelligent and loving) will screw kids up and there are a wealth of documents out there, I'm sure, that claim to prove this. It is articles like that that make me very wary of people who make the "You'll screw your kids up if..." arguments. It just seems a bit too much like ranting about fire and brimstone and the need to repent.

Motrin's entire ad campaign targeting women sucks. This particular ad is almost comically misguided, as it's mocking the very demographic it's selling to. I'm glad people took action to let Motrin know it failed.
I find the bus stop ads really gross, too. I know cultural criticism is not Motrin's job, but I find the underlying message they're putting out there problematic - Performing femininity is painful; pop a pill, hehe!
Crumpet, your comments are even more offensive than the ad. I'm not a mother, but that doesn't render me unable to find fault with this ad, or social attitudes re: mothering and parenting. I'm also anti-homophobic even though I'm straight, and anti-racist enough though I'm white. I am not just focused on myself and my own tiny world.
And Brown Trash Punk, where to begin? You're like a bull in a china shop and your treatment of other commenters is really offputting.

you would think by now people would know that the surest way to offend and make people pissed off is to insult parenting methods. if you don't agree with it, that's your perogative. try to refrain from offending other people by labeling what they do as wrong.

and btw, i'm not a mother and i hated this ad. it doesn't take having a baby to get it.

Okay, I just have to say that I coslept with my parents for long past the age Brianna G would find appropriate and I can have sex! And enjoy it! I've never even thought about a connection between the two except I seemed to have an easier time talking about sex with my parents than my friends did with theirs.

Perhaps, Brianna, your interpretation of the qualitative experiences you talked about is not that only possible one. If what you are saying is true, that more AP-raised kids end up in therapy as adults, it may be because:

1- kids raised in AP-homes maybe be more likely to have the money for therapy.
2- kids raised in AP-homes may be more in touch with themselves and recognize the need for therapy when it exists.
or
3- the one I think is probably most likely, the psychologist you talked to has an agenda or personal bias against AP and gets every client that walks into his/her office to admit that mommy and daddy let them sleep in the grownups' bed after a nightmare or during a cold (a vast majority of the population, I'm sure), and then the psychologist can ding his or her little bell in glee while announcing "Attachment Parenting strikes again!"

Honestly, treating little humans like individuals and responding to their needs is abusive? Yep, someone's psychologist friend is looking to write a new child care tome and self-selecting cases.

I actually liked this ad... I giggled a little.

First, I'm not a parent.

Second, I didn't find the ad offensive, I actually laughed a little bit and here's why. I'm at a point in my life where a lot of my friends are becoming first time parents and it's all new and scary to them. They read a lot of baby books and do and buy stuff that they never thought much about before. I here them use the word "apparently" in a similar, exhausted fashion a lot not because they are trying to keep up with appearances but because they are trying to navigate a huge array of often conflicting parenting advice on 3 hours of sleep and are never quite sure if their chosen course is the best one or if they've been had by Baby's R Us and the latest article in Parents Magazine. So when I watched this I heard my best friend:

Her: "So my Sister in Law swears by Baby Product X, apparently it helps the kid develop motor skills. It's a total pain in the ass."

Me: "Really? I've never heard of that. Is it working?"

Her: [Beat of silence] "Hell if I know. But I wouldn't want to not get it if it does work. Gotta cover all your bases. I mean, what if I didn't get it and little baby boy missed out on becoming a violin virtuoso because he didn't develop fine motor skills as quickly as he could have."

At this point I'm usually battling twin urges to take all of my birth control at once and send my mom some flowers and a thank you note.

After reading the comments I now see why this could be offensive, especially to parents who are dedicated and loving as my BFF. And if the response was so negative as to cause the company to apologize, even if the intention was the benign one that I thought it to be when I first viewed it, the Ad obviously missed the mark and needs to be pulled. Condescending or just ham-handed; it's a fail. I just thought I'd offer my interpretation to the discussion.

And a quick question to all the actual moms on the board. My SO and I are entering into progeny planning so I'm wondering - do those slings hurt your back?

moral of the story: "being a mom can be difficult, but don't fight for government sponsored programs to help you with motherhood, take drugs instead! Love,
a company that wants your money, not your problems."

I found the ad offensive because it made numerous false assumptions about attatchment parenting and seemed to attack those who enjoy it.

There are lots of ways to raise healthy, happy children and I believe everyone is entitled to find the way that suits them best, without being judged and attacked.

I raised kids using attachment parenting because it made things EASY FOR ME and enjoyable for them. I got more work done, slept better, and had more of a social life using this technique. It doesn't work for everyone but I recommend it for those who are easy-going and like having a fluid lifestyle. That said, I've seen lots of happy parents raising their healthy kids using other styles too. It's all what works best for each family.

As far as attachment parenting concerns go: 1) Carrying my kids didn't hurt my back. I lift weights and hike; A baby is nothing compared to what I'm used to carrying. 2) My kids are often complimented for being so independent and confident now that they're teens. Though I'm sure many kids raised differently get the same compliments.

Parents should get the same tolerance and atteptance we want for everyone-- the choice to be themselves, on their own terms.

Thank you to those who are using this forum to intelligently and respectfully express your opinions. I find those who use this forum to verbally attack or insult people are in the wrong place. Feminism is about SUPPORTING women and their choices – such as the choice to be an involved parent – not about bashing women whose lifestyles and choices differ from your own.

There is enough ‘momism’ in our society, I would hope that anyone calling themselves a feminist would understand that moms deserve just as much respect as those who choose not to be or cannot be. The choice to be a mother (solely, or in conjunction with a career) should be respected.

I am a new mom and a damn good one. I hold my baby all the time and the carriers just make it easier on my body…not harder. I breastfeed and co-sleep because to me it’s natural and I cannot imagine not doing it, but I respect those who choose otherwise.

The issue with this ad (as some have pointed out) is that it offends the people it is targeting as consumers. It does not matter if those who are not mothers do not find it offensive. It isn’t directed at them, it is directed at me. I find it mildly offensive…enough that I am glad it was protested and I will hesitate before ever buying Motrin, even though they are removing the ad. Advertising carries powerful messages – even funny ads. Companies pay millions for advertising because it does affect us. Therefore, it is a good thing when the messages they put out are critiqued and responded to. Motrin is actually lucky this happened, because they will likely retain more customers by pulling the ad than if people just stayed silent and stopped buying it.

More power to consumers! Way to go Moms!

I carried my two children in carriers when they were infants. It hurt. It was not a matter of strength, it was the pressure of the straps on the shoulders or neck itself. There were few times when I wore the carrier for half a day, and my entire arm went numb and nearly unresponsive from pressure in the trapezius area above the shoulder blade. (Apparently, I am susceptible to nerve damage, as evidenced by other activities as simple as sleeping flat on my back.) Carrying babies right up against my front was also often quite hot.

My solution would not be a pain reliever, but a better selection of carriers, and a nicer climate.

I don't think it's offensive at all, hey im not a parent...never wanna be...but I really do think that everyone's being a bit too politically correct, the media can't please everyone and Motrin obviously weren't trying to do so...it was just targeted at people who have different priorities than many of the people who complained.

A few things...

There is a lot of "momism" in this country which is strange because the majority of women are moms (although that number is getting smaller).

I love when people make references to things that they don't actually know anything about. It truly makes my day! For the women that have pointed out that carrying a child with a sling could not be uncomfortable because women have been doing it for centuries all over the world... wrong, my friend. First, I doubt you've visited places where women carry their children in slings because if you have you'd know that they often don't carry them the entire day and children are left alone (at infancy) because the mother has to work (inside or outside the home), perhaps not a practice you want to adopt but that's just a guess. You'll see no men carrying children and you'll also find that those women are susceptible to a number of health problems that you haven't even heard of. Also, many of those cultures (that you've never visited) are African and people of African descent have much greater bone density than whites or Asians possibly making it easier to carry a child in a sling. In addition, you'll see that those children are taught to walk and generally 'fend for themselves' at a young age (18 months and they should be on their own), again perhaps not a practice I'm guessing you'd like to adopt. It's truly patronizing for people to use historically cultural norms as a way of justifying their choices. There were lots of things that were done back in the day that we don't want repeated, trust me.

To me, the message of the ad was for women to take care of themselves. There are too many women who sacrifice their health for their children (my mother was one of them). Ladies, take care of yourselves and if that means taking Ibuprofen because the sling hurts then so be it. I never understood mothers who felt it was more important to make their kids a full breakfast (eggs, waffles, etc) in the morning than make sure that they had time to take a shower. Give the kids some oatmeal and get in the shower for the LOVE OF GOD! If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the people who see you and wonder why you look homeless when you live in an all white upper middle class suburb. I spent my entire work day wondering why my boss who makes 6 figures looked like she lived in the jungle, it was quite distracting.

To the AP parents: Good or bad? Most psychiatrists would say bad but don't listen to them, find out for yourself. Take a day, go to one of the nation's top schools (Dartmouth for example, my alma mater), speak with the people are who were raised using the technique (the vast majority of the students) and you'll see as clear as day the result of AP parenting. Those kids (my peers and good friends) are smart as can be but the MOST socially and culturally ignorant people I have ever met in my life. It breaks my heart to see people with so much potential so lost. (Ask me for examples) I'm not sure if I'm willing to trade (and you don't have to) my child being destined for academic/professional greatness and my child not being able to hold a conversation with someone from a different background.

Sidenote: This website needs to be more inclusive. There are many different kinds of feminists and just because your opinion is not "common" doesn't mean it's wrong. I could have guessed the majority of these responses simply by looking through the website, which is kind of sad actually. Let's try to break the mold, eh?

I want to make another comment about the cultural aspect of carrying your child in a sling since I wasn't clear. Most women carry their children in a sling because it's convenient not because they want to be close to their child physically or otherwise. They have bigger concerns than cuddling with their baby like making sure they have food to eat, minor detail clearly. Also, you have to take into account terrain. Even if these women had access to strollers it would be difficult to use them in the dirt. You know, developing world, no paved roads? You've seen that on TV, right?

You'll find that women in the city and of higher economic classes don't use slings. Why? Because they're fortunate enough to have other options. Be grateful for your options ladies. I think it's much more important to instill your child with values and integrity than hold them tight, it's easy to forget that in our culture where you have to buy your 10 year old an iphone to be considered a good parent.

I've been wondering what it would take for me to actually sign up and comment here. I guess this is it.

Babywearing isn't just for poor, rural women. Those of us in paved cities and of higher economic strata may do it for a number of reasons, including BOTH convenience and desire to be close (even if we own a stroller or two - gasp!).

Babywearing may or may not hurt. If you do it correctly (much like wearing a backpack, or lifting heavy boxes), it is unlikely to be painful or cause injury. New parents in the US tend to get it wrong in the beginning because they have few reference points for doing it right. Either you figure it out (often with help from "the village"), or you strain your neck and back. I've had days wear I tied the sling wrong and strained myself, and then when I learned to adjust correctly, I was like Super Ultra Mama - happily getting stuff done with a calm, quiet baby in tow.

Note to new or aspiring parents/babysitters/etc: at it's best, babywearing is like a narcotic for babies, but without all the harmful effects of narcotics. You can imagine why this would be appealing for parents. If you can't, I'll spell it out: New parents have little control over what happens much of the time - if you can exert any positive influence over your life that includes less crying and more productivity, it's amazingly beneficial to everyone involved. Babywearing can do this if it works for you.

We went through about 5 slings (all were good, but body needs change). They were lifesavers for me during the first year, enabling things like typing with 2 hands, feeding and talking on the phone, or getting ready to leave the house - all critical activities for a socially-inclined, intellectually curious mama who is suddenly at home most of the time and needs to talk to (or online chat with) another adult. My husband has a bad back and he wore our mei tai carrier into the ground, because it made his life easier when he became the at-home parent (and note, pain does not make anyone's life easier).

Choices, right?

I think the Motrin ad was dumb. Don't make fun of my choices (and me! at length!) and then expect me to buy your product. Don't take something that I believe is important and valuable and treat it like high-heel shoes (which I occasionally wear and like, but are not comparable to my parenting choices or my relationship to my child).

I think it's easy to assume that parental style causes personality traits. However, it is my experience that personality traits in the kid dictate parenting style.

My oldest child was very shy from the start. Weaning and getting him out of the bed and sling were a challenge. From infancy, if he couldn't see momma, he screamed. Nonstop. For hours. The best day cares and nannies were unable to care for him and eventually kicked us out or quit because he was so attached to us. This was from day one. If I didn't cosleep or carry him in a sling, I would not get any sleep or be able to do any work during the day except hold him.

Baby number 2 was very different. From day one, he wanted as many people around him to entertain him while he ate (baby 1 would get very nervous and act like they were going to rip the breast from his mouth at any moment). The sling lasted a few months, after which he decided he would much rather sit in the middle of the room and be the center or attention or get into trouble. Baby 1 always wanted to blend into the background. Baby 2 didn't care where his food came from or where he slept. It was easier for us to put him in his own bed when he was very young.

Now, baby 1 is still a bit socially awkward in that he does what he wants and doesn't seem to care if it is fashionable. It helps that he is extremely good at activities his peer group values (sports and video games). If his talents were drawing and music, it might be a very different story. Baby 2 is a social king but struggles academically. On the other hand, I see that a lot of his behavior decisions are not based on his own wants but on how his peers will respond.

Someone looking from the outside might say the differences, good or bad depending on their bias, were because we carried baby 1 for so long, but it is obvious to me that they were different people from the start. Sometimes parents take their cues from the child, and some personality differences are inherent.

Well, I'm back. Thanks for the warning that I was walking the line re: your rules of posting.

I will say this: while I was criticized for having the temerity to make fun of a caricature of a particular type of modern mother (the frenzied, do-it-all, must adhere to the parenting fad of the moment although I don't know which conflicting advice I should listen to, must entertain my child 24/7 to ensure that he never misses a beat and gets into Harvard by age 12)no one....no one is more hard on or ruthless towards mothers than other mothers. As a childfree woman I really don't care if you have one kid or 20, if you bottle feed or breastfeed, if you work at an office or stay home, if you are married or not, etc. As long as you take care of your responsibilities and don't treat kids like trophies or fashion accesories or don't spoil them to the point that they become unruly insufferable brats that other people have to deal with, do as you will. However, it is a knee jerk overreaction in my opinion to take my critique of a certain kind of women/mom as an attack on all women or moms. All women are not the same and neither are all mothers. There are plenty of mothers who manage to maintain their own identities outside of their spouses or children and they find this new mommy competetiveness (the more I suffer for my children the better a mother I am) to be just as irritating as I do.

I also disagree with the premise that feminism is all about women supporting each others' choices. That also seems at odds with the frequently occurring assertion that 'the personal is political'. To me feminism is about ensuring equal opportunities for women and equal rights under the law. I am free to disagree with women like Ann Coulter or Phyllis Schlaffly or Dr. Laura just like many posters here have criticized Sarah Palin. If a woman wants to crusade to outlaw abortion I do not have to support that choice under the guise of female solidarity. If a woman chooses to have kid after kid that she refuses to care for I do not have to support that choice, either. I do not subscribe to a form of victim feminism that says that no matter how terrible a person a woman is or how awful her behavior is she isn't really to blame because her actions are only a result of centuries of male oppression. That's not saying that everyone here is like that, it's just an example.

It is interesting how thin skinned people can be whenever their particular take on feminism is challenged by someone who might have a few other ideas. For instance, I'd be curious to see how many women here changed their names when they married. I chose not to. I figured I already had a perfectly good name a name and that my identity was just as valid as his, so why should he get top billing in the relationship by having his name on the marquee. That said, many women who consider themselves feminists in the sense that they support reproductive rights and equal access to employment and education opted to take their husband's name. Who am I to tell them that they aren't 'real' feminists because they are adhering to patriarchal practices(perhaps for personal reasons that have nothing to do with female) subordination)? I also think it takes a lot of nerve for someone to accuse me of being all coddling to men at the expense of women because I have the audacity as a feminist to think that men actually matter, too, that their needs are just as valid as ours, especially in a mutually agreed upon relationship like marriage. Being a feminist doesn't mean I have to assume the women is always right and the man is always wrong. That message has undercut the feminist message to a lot of people, including women who are reluctant to call themselves feminist, because they don't think that supporting women has to equal devaluing men. Most women love their fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons and don't want to see them get a raw deal just to make up for the raw deal women have gotten.

It would be unfortunate if I got banned for saying all this but it's not a big price to pay for having my say.

Oh. Okay. As a childfree woman myself, I am highly offended that you make sweeping generalizations and use sweeping stereotypes to describe mothers. You were offensive, and had no sources to back up any claims.
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Marilove:
Please show me a sweeping generalizations of mothers anywhere in my post. Unless you believe that most or all moms fit what I described, how can you say that my statement was generalizing all mothers? I've said clearly that there are many mothers who reject all the new mommyisms (one friend calls it the 'Mommy Mafia' because she does things more old school instead of trying to keep up with what her cohorts are saying she should be doing). That's like saying that posters who make fun of Sarah Palin are making sweeping generalizations about all femal politicians. That just isn't true.