I might make this a regular Wednesday afternoon feature. We'll see!
Continuing on the theme of sex and Wednesday's (and don't you all need something uplifting after that debate last night), here is an interview via Babeland with Tristan Taormino. Tristan is the self-professed anal sexpert, and an all around impressive lady. She has been writing a sex column for the Village Voice for years (which was recently cancelled, sadly). She led one of the first sex workshops I ever went to, at Wesleyan University a few years ago. She has a great story about how she was going to go to law school, but she decided to become a sex writer instead. Tristan has a new book about open relationships called Opening Up.
An exerpt from the interview, available on Babeland's blog in two parts:
What was the most interesting thing you learned from the couples you interviewed for Opening Up? I didn't talk to just couples - I interviewed singles, couples, triads, quads, circles of five, lots of different combinations! I learned so much from each person I talked to and realized that life really is in the details. No one does non-monogamy the same way. It's all about crafting a relationship that's custom made for the people involved.What is your favorite anal sex toy? I cannot pick just one! Of course, I have to say the Tristan butt plug from Vixen, since I helped design it and it's named for me. I think the Mistress is the best dildo for strap-on anal sex, especially for beginners. Now it comes with a vibrator, too, which rocks.
What is your favorite non-anal sex toy? I have fallen in love with a new strap-on harness recently, the Jaguar Harness from Aslan. In Cherry Red. The leather is smooth and gorgeous, it fits like a glove, and it's so comfortable, I could wear it all day!
Happy Wednesday!
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I'm just going to leave a plug for my favourite butt plug -- njoy toy's Pure Plug 2.0.
njoytoys.com
In a weirdly machismo way, having a stainless steel butt plug has put me off of silicone alternatives. I just can't take them seriously.
I had the opportunity to see Tristan here in Chicago at Women and Children First. The discussion that followed her introducing Opening Up was fascinating, especially with the cultural awareness seeming to have slightly picked up on the concept of polyamory, open relationships, et cetera.
I love Tristan! She's also the editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series, which is how I found out about her years ago. I am so pleased to see her mentioned on Feministing! Thanks, Miriam!
I used to practice polyamory, so I'll definitely be reading the book. I am also really looking forward to the video she's making with Midori.
Hooray poly exposure!
Oh My!
Things have come a long way since the Sex Wars of Second Wave Feminism Circa 1980 when Women's Book Stores had huge fights stocking such sex positive works as Pat Califia's "Sapphistry" and Samois' "Coming To Power".
There was such a huge divide back then even admitting to liking anal sex would get you trashed by many feminist groups so if you were anything even slightly kinkier than pure vanilla you were considered a sex outlaw and pushed into Samois.
I think the divide between the sexual liberationist women and the sex negative women was one of the factors contributing to many women sort of giving up on feminism.
That and trashings.
I took Tristan's Anal 201 workshop, though I think both the 101 and the 201 are sort of intro-level. Folks who have been doing various assplay for years won't learn much new, IMO. I told her she needs an advanced workshop.
If we're plugging (ptp) toys, I'll say my fave is the Vixen Creations Randy. It's ... an accomplishment.
Interesting.
I read her book as a LibraryThing Early Reviewer. I really wasn't impressed. Maybe it's because I've taken so many gender studies classes, but everything was very elementary level and boringly written to boot. The worst part was that she cites wikipedia as a source. Why pay $17 for a book when you can just Wiki everything?
Chineses, for example, in the favourite manner, prefer to use in erotic manufacture materials more cheaply, that is polyvinyl and plastic, more shortly, synthetics.
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