So, you all know about my penchant for feminist sex shops. I've already written about my love for Babeland and Smitten Kitten, and you all shared your favorite stores around the country.
I'm so into these places that I've decided to try and visit as many of them as I can (anyone want to help me finance this?) and then review the stores for all of you. Call it a Feminist Sex Shop review if you will.
This weekend I had the pleasure of visiting Baltimore's only feminist sex shop, Sugar. If their mission doesn't make you want to shop there, maybe this review will. Living in Washington DC (as I do) this is the closest feminist sex shop that I know of. At least for now--plans to open one in DC are in the works! So I took a little day trip up to see what Sugar was all about.
I was lucky enough to pick the day of the neighborhood street festival, HampdenFest, to check the store out. Sugar is located in a really cool, trendy and kind of hipster neighborhood in Baltimore. Lots of cool restaurants, coffee shops and hip little stores. Plus 5 for location factor Sugar!
A little bit off the main drag (I actually had to walk up and down the street a few times before I found it) Sugar is around the corner of an apartment parking lot and down a few stairs. When you walk in there is a prominent 18 and over only sign, with a warning that they do check ID. This was a new thing for me, I've never seen those at other feminist sex shops I've been to. Luckily I did not get carded.
Sugar's layout isn't too different from the other shops I've checked, a small space with an island of dildos and vibrators front and center, a small book section, a condom/lube section, an island that could be called "back door play" and a tiny BDSM section.
The two staff people working were super friendly and knowledgeable. Without even asking, one of them came and offered their opinion about the wares I was perusing. I felt totally comfortable asking questions and discussing the pros and cons of the various products they sell.
Some positive (and different!) aspects about Sugar that I noticed. They sell binders, which are an item of clothing used by trans and gender non-conforming people to bind or flatten their breasts. This is the first place I have ever seen that sells these binders, which can usually only be purchased online. The staff were also super knowledgeable about them and even let customers try them on! They also have a great vibrator selection, a book of DVDs and a large lube collection. Oh, and the first Friday of every month they have a fabulous party at the store. Sex toys and booze? Sounds like heaven to me.
A few downsides to Sugar. The stock is more limited than other stores. Now, it's only a year and a half old so that's understandable. They also had a relatively limited offering of harnesses and very little gear for those interested in bondage, or other types of BDSM play (like handcuffs, or nipple clamps). Lastly they are still working on getting their online store up and running, so you have to go in to purchase your toys.
So in short, Sugar is definitely well worth a visit if you are in Charm City in the near future. And don't forget to check out their fabulous classes and events!
Reviews to come: Good Vibrations and Aphrodite's Toy Box
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You know, it would be cool to make a seperate blog or website to cross post these on. So if someone were to google "feminist sex shop" they would come right to that site.
Miko in Providence, RI, deserves a review, too, as a fabulous feminist shame-free place.
Thanks Seamster, It's definitely on the wishlist of places to visit! Hopefully I can make up it there soon.
That's a great mission statement.
It's great to see people talking openly about sex shops.
My girlfriend took me to good-vibrations, and I will say that their layout shocked me a little.
It's definitely an experience.
I was just there this past weekend and I thought it was wonderful. Unlike most (if not all) sex shops I've visited, I did not feel ashamed to ask questions or like I was being eyed-up by fellow patrons. I loved the fact that erotica, feminist and how-to centered books were on the shelves as well. I agree that the selection was limited but everything truly was female and trans-centered. I definitely plan on visiting again with the intention to bring a few things home with me.
I was at hamdenfest this weekend, too! Sugar is fabulous. It's good to see they're getting some exposure. They're a fantastic feminist resource for Baltimore.
If anyone in Baltimore is interested in a sex-positive, non-scary bdsm/sex toy store, check out Chained Desires in Mt. Vernon. It's trans owned, the staff are super helpful, and they're well stocked. They don't have as many books or vibrators or dildos (hah, spellcheck wants to turn "dildos" into "evildoers"), but they're more of a bdsm specialty shop, so that's to be expected. They even give out free nipple clamps!
My little brother moved to Hampden last year and I visited him in the spring. I remember seeing flyers for Sugar, but I didn't know what it was - I wish I had went in there!
Hampden is a sweet little nieghborhood.
I'll awkwardly tell my little brother that if he needs sex toys he should go to Sugar. :)
I live in B'More, and let me preface this with two statements: I REALLY wanted to like Sugar and I am satisfied with the items I bought.
However, the salespeople were a little pushy and I did not appreciate it. At first I was happy they came over without asking, but it became hovering. The selection is understandably limited, but the salesperson tried her darnedest to convince me that I absolutely needed the $160 version of the toy.
Whether it's true or not, the salespeople told me that my current toy was releasing plastic fumes known to cause cancer. In a shocked tone. As in, I should completely believe this and immediately buy said $160 toy. I walked away with a good toy for $30, but I don't think I'll go back.
Also, I've been to Miko in Providence (my bestie goes to Brown) and I was more impressed. Miko is more 'heteronormative girly-girl' with sexy costumes, kitschy vagina puppets, and has a bookstore/boutique rather than dungeon feel. It's more reasonably priced, the staff offer advice but don't "hover", and I'd prefer it over Sugar.
I know this is a late reply, but I just found this thread. I worked for Babeland for 8 years (just to let you know what side of the counter I'm speaking from). The "fumes" the worker told you about are phthalates. They are used to soften plastic, so most of the jelly toys you see have them. Have you ever seen an old pair of plastic frames for eyeglasses? Know how they have a chalky look? That's because the phthalates have left the building and left the plastic dry and brittle.
There's a lot of research and even more conversation about the health risks of phthalates. The main clincher for me was that the European Union banned them from children's toys. The problem is that they leach from the toys and that mucous membranes absorb chemical super fast. And most sex toys are also used in contact with mucous membranes.
Now, I always encouraged people to consider this decision in line with the rest of their lives. If you use natural makeup, cleansers without harmful chemicals, etc, you'll also want to avoid phthalates in your sex toys. If you wear Wet'n'Wild, prefer the most deadly chemicals in your cleansers, etc...go for the more expensive toy.
It's managing your chemical body burden. Everyone absorbs things that are unhealthy, but each person has to decide how much time and money they want to spend going with healthier options.
Caveat: there are toys that retail for $50 and up that are phthalate free. Maybe they need to broaden their selection of these less expensive toys...
I know this is a late reply, but I just found this thread. I worked for Babeland for 8 years (just to let you know what side of the counter I'm speaking from). The "fumes" the worker told you about are phthalates. They are used to soften plastic, so most of the jelly toys you see have them. Have you ever seen an old pair of plastic frames for eyeglasses? Know how they have a chalky look? That's because the phthalates have left the building and left the plastic dry and brittle.
There's a lot of research and even more conversation about the health risks of phthalates. The main clincher for me was that the European Union banned them from children's toys. The problem is that they leach from the toys and that mucous membranes absorb chemical super fast. And most sex toys are also used in contact with mucous membranes.
Now, I always encouraged people to consider this decision in line with the rest of their lives. If you use natural makeup, cleansers without harmful chemicals, etc, you'll also want to avoid phthalates in your sex toys. If you wear Wet'n'Wild, prefer the most deadly chemicals in your cleansers, etc...go for the more expensive toy.
It's managing your chemical body burden. Everyone absorbs things that are unhealthy, but each person has to decide how much time and money they want to spend going with healthier options.
Caveat: there are toys that retail for $50 and up that are phthalate free. Maybe they need to broaden their selection of these less expensive toys...
One of the best feminist sex shops in Toronto and perhaps Canada is: Good For Her!
The founder of the store was a guest speaker in my Politics of Sexuality: Power and Pleasure class at Ryerson University a few summers ago. She was sensational. Please check out the site:
www.goodforher.com/About_Us.html
Miriam, if you're ever in the Toronto area - I highly recommend you visit Good for Her!
Miriam, we second the trip to Toronto. Many of us at Come As You Are are avid Feministing readers and we're here in Toronto. We're also now the only worker co-operative sex store left (we still love Good Vibes and they were our inspiration, but sadly they dissolved their co-operative a year or two ago). That said, you should probably wait until the spring, Toronto in the winter isn't so great!
I don't know that Good Vibrations fits into the definition of a feminist sex toy store anymore. To avoid bankruptcy, the board of GV voted to sell the company to a large corporation out of Ohio, which is headed by the man many call "the father of sleazy sex shops." Many reputable safe sex toy manufacturers have stopped doing business with GV, and though the company is still woman owned (the man mentioned above's daughter is the head of GV) it seems to be in name only.
I'm forgetting the guy's name, but the company he owns is GVA-TWN. Many of the original folks associated with GV have severed ties with the company as well.
Also, just because a company is "cooperative" or "worker-owned" doesn't mean its politics are always in the right place. No knock on Come As You Are, but in many states a "cooperative" is just a designation for a type of company, and doesn't require the type of politics folks have come to associate with co-ops. Along the same lines, just because a company is a corporation doesn't mean it has the politics of a mega corp either.
Thanks for the invite Layla! I'll definitely let you all know if I can make it up to Toronto.
And you're right pugilist, not all of the shops I might review are necessarily going to be definitively feminist anymore. Those are the issues I hope to get at through visiting and reviewing the shops.
In Halifax, NS, there is Venus Envy. Small, but nice with great staff, and I have a great dildo to commemorate a vacation.
Thanks, Laura, for a BDSM place. So much of the market is either (1) crap, with bad products selling to tourists and lookie-loos; or (2) by and for the gay men. The latter is fine by me; almost anything I didn't make myself if from Leatherman on Christopher in NYC or the Leather Rack in Dupont Circle in DC, but the environment is by-and-for-the-gay-leathermen, and I think that may feel like an exclusionary space to a lot of folks, including a lot of women. (And not just het women; I've heard queer women say they felt out of place in gay leathermen's space.)
Feminique Boutique in West Chester PA is a great feminist sex shop too. They are active on women's issues and it's owned by a sex educator.
As a new Milwaukee native, I have to give a shout out to the Tool Shed (http://www.toolshedtoys.com/). Laura is wonderfully knowledgeable and helpful. I plan on dropping by regularly!
I'm in Los Angeles, specifically Santa Monica, for the summer sans partner and am in dire need of a good feminist sex shop. Any recommendations? Help a girl out!
I know this is a late reply, but I just found this thread. I worked for Babeland for 8 years (just to let you know what side of the counter I'm speaking from). The "fumes" the worker told you about are phthalates. They are used to soften plastic, so most of the jelly toys you see have them. Have you ever seen an old pair of plastic frames for eyeglasses? Know how they have a chalky look? That's because the phthalates have left the building and left the plastic dry and brittle.
There's a lot of research and even more conversation about the health risks of phthalates. The main clincher for me was that the European Union banned them from children's toys. The problem is that they leach from the toys and that mucous membranes absorb chemical super fast. And most sex toys are also used in contact with mucous membranes.
Now, I always encouraged people to consider this decision in line with the rest of their lives. If you use natural makeup, cleansers without harmful chemicals, etc, you'll also want to avoid phthalates in your sex toys. If you wear Wet'n'Wild, prefer the most deadly chemicals in your cleansers, etc...go for the more expensive toy.
It's managing your chemical body burden. Everyone absorbs things that are unhealthy, but each person has to decide how much time and money they want to spend going with healthier options.
Caveat: there are toys that retail for $50 and up that are phthalate free. Maybe they need to broaden their selection of these less expensive toys...