Natural hair is unmistakably beautiful.

So is styled hair.

I am uncomfortable when people claim that when black women style their hair that their minds are colonized.

Power isn't possessed, it's exercised. There can be sites of resistance against dominant power structures that exist in forms other than changing ones personal appearance.

Judging everyone by a single rubric is obviously not a good idea, not only because it's impossible (such rubrics are not static), but also because it's violent and exclusionary.

I just want to make it clear that this doesn't mean that there are "wrong" or "oppressive" fashion choices.

Beauty isn't something "instinctual," because beauty is socially constructed.

I don't want people to be forced into defending their choice of hairstyle as anticolonial or not.

I think every body is beautiful.

I have the problem with my kids.My kids are African American and Latino and they have super curly, glossy, thick hair and when they were younger White people would look at them and mention how cute they were, but they always touched their hair.I guess they wanted to feel the texture of it? Who knows?
White people are not the only ones,on my Latino side,my relatives would make comments about how "surprise they are about how "soft"their hair is! On the Black side of the family I get comments about their "good hair".

I think people should feel empowered to wear their hair however they want but honestly is the hair as revolutionary statement taken seriously these days? I'd like to think hair is just hair.

Part of the introspection from growing up in a racist and sexist society is owning up to our choices, even if they are done for messed up reasons. So, yeah, I would say my mind is colonized, on the hair issue anyway.

But I've come to peace with it. It's not even evident to anyone other than me what I do to my hair. I'm rocking some ringlets that other folks are paying a hundred bucks for. All it costs me is a trip to Walgreens, a few bucks and 10 minutes of me and my husbands time. I can live with that.

I think that natural hair is beautiful looking, but because I'm white, I feel like if I complimented someone on it, they would think that I was being racist, even though I would just be paying them a compliment.

Elizabeth,

I've worn my hair in natural styles many times and got loads of compliments, especially from non-black folks; and I never thought of the compliments as being racist---er, well there was the one person that had the nerve to say that I looked like Bo Derek when I had my braids.

Now that, people, takes the cake.

I look at relaxed hair the same way I look at stripping...your thinking huh??? Lest I explain.

I believe that there are actually women that like to express their sexuality through stripping and that even if our male dominated sexist culture didnt exist, stripping would not be so much as a problem for me. Being that female sexuality is always based on what males think are attractive and that female bodies are always for sale...theres a problem with stripping. Some women are under the impression that they like it just for fun whereas they may be looking for male approval.

I believe that yes...there are many Black women that relax their hair and would do so if our culture wasnt obsessed with white beauty. There are so many Black girls that get their hair relaxed without even thinking about it. ITS the norm. Its like having their natural hair is a burden they quickly have to get rid of. Thats a problem. its also a problem when it concerns lil girls getting their hair relaxed at like...11. The whole good hair, bad hair thing. All that. Its all a problem. Also the fact the media hardly EVER shows Black women with natural hair and when they do...its often in a militant way...never in a carefree every day kind of way...its always apart of their character.

So yes...i do believe that many Black women that have relaxed hair have it because of the social norms that are placed on Black women. And many of them do have a "colonized" frame of thinking or whatever term (cant find a good one. lol). Even to the point that it is not a concious decision to dislike black natural hair...its just the way Black women are taught.

I had relaxed hair until my junior year in high school. I went natural and I mean...the reactions were very much mixed...and most of the negative ones were from Blacks. Now I have locs ( I am a senior in college) and thats just another story....

And can I please bring up the new yorker incident in which Michelle was put in an afro (natural hair) to be seen as militant...

Dear Black Feminist,

I guess my moniker should be retired stripper feminist to give you a clue about me. Hopefully my response to your comment will suffice.
I brace myself when women who haven't stripped use stripping to prove their point. You comment wreaks of ignorance and could be taken offensively by many women who strip now or have in the past (as I did).
My body was not for sale it was on display.
If I sold my kidney, that would be an example of my body being for sale.

Why don't you compare hair issues to actors dry humping with a tiny piece of cloth separating their genitalia? You could even tie in the African American hair issue more easily if you focus on African American actors? Think Halle Barry and her Oscar winning role.

My experience as a stripper is not like your experience with your hair. I could not breathe enough to have a regular job. I worked when I could breathe. I could not be on a schedule. I'm a single mother. I took off my clothes and survived. Comparing that to your choices when styling you hair is ridiculous. And that is just my story, I'm not speaking for every stripper ever. Feeling powerful while on stage was a benefit, it was not the goal of the experience for me. I wasn't stripping to make a statement or because I didn't understand how "the man" oppresses me.

Yes, you could be perceived a different way for styling your hair one way or another, depending on who is doing the perceiving. I live in a major city, so it's hard for me to imagine a majority that hasn't caught up to a movement from the 1970's!
When my mother was selling Fashion Fair make-up at Hudsons in Detroit, back then, natural was a huge statement. These days, not so much.
I don't think anyone is looking at all the work Powerful African American women have accomplished and thinking, "Why Oprah, you looks so oppressed!"
Or
"Michelle, aren't you proud of your heritage? What's with that hair?"

*Warning: I have A LOT to say on this issue:

I am of mixed heritage and when I was little, I had that "good hair" that you hear black people talk about. It was long, curly, etc. Then one day, my mother took me to get my hair chemically straitened. This decision was mostly due to her not having the time to tame my wild locks. I was too small (maybe 6 or 7) for a grown up straitening perm. Thus, my hair got all fucked up and it has never been the same. Throughout my whole life, the one thing that I have had little to no control over was my hair. My mother continued to pay others to perm my hair, press my hair with a hot comb, braid it with weave, and do a number of other things that I can honestly say were torturous. (For those of you who don't know, black women usually get perms once a month and sometimes get their hair braided or pressed twice or more a month.) The worst part (besides being chemically burned on your scalp!) was that I LOVE swimming and you do not go swimming any time after or before you get your hair done. If I did swim, my mother forced me to wear a swimming cap so I wouldn't ruin my hair. I'm 21 so this is like me being the only fucking kid in a swimming cap circa 1997 at a public pool in the predominately white suburbs of North Texas.

At 16, my mother allowed a friend of her's to perm my hair. The friend left the chemicals on too long while she did two adults despite the fact that I repeated from time to time "It burns". I had to get all my hair cut off. All the hair we (my mom and various beauticians) had been trying to grow back my whole life. I was depressed. I was called a lesbian. I was sick and tired of this shit.

So around 18 I just stopped. I stopped paying for perms, I stopped curling or frying my hair with a press comb. I didn't brush my hair or anything. The dreads started growing by themselves and I eventually started grooming them. Now, I don't have to wake up an hour earlier than I normally would to do my hair. I feel free. I have spent all that 'hair money' on more important things. I own up to being a part of the natural hair revolution and I'm happy that women in the black community are at least starting to reconsider all the reasons why we do this to ourselves. I'm not saying everyone should quit cold turkey like me, but the very discussions themselves are satisfying enough.

@ xocoatl:
I really want to agree with you but unfortunately I find your post way too idealistic. It is true that beauty isn't instinctual, as it is socially constructed, but I don't think that means that people can't be held accountable for the social implications of the way they choose to present themselves.

I am a biracial woman and I wear my hair in a natural afro puff. I do so in the workplace, on the street, in the club, in school, basically in every situation in which my appearance, or level of beauty, matters to any extent, I am representing this look. I am therefore doing my own little part to actively redefine and counter the dominant mindset, which is VERY VERY REAL, if not tangible, that straight/fine hair is more beautiful/professional/acceptable/normal/better than curly/"nappy" hair, whereas people who chemically relax their hair are at best ignoring and at worst actively contributing to this dominant mindset.

IMHO the stakes are too high to be PC about these things: black women who choose to chemically straighten their hair may do so for a variety of reasons, but the comprehensive effect of their actions is a contributing factor in perpetuating White standards of beauty in the Black community. Now that is not to say that I judge, disrespect, or condemn these women for their decision. Of course I am in no place to lay judgment on someone else, and I would never be so arrogant as to think I know more or better than the next woman. If I were not half white and my hair were less curly and more "nappy" I'm sure I would face a much more challenging situation in wearing it natural, and I recognize both the injustice AND the reality of that. But I think it is really a cop-out to ignore the fact that most of the time, women choose to straighten their hair do so because of inescapable pressure, to further expand their career options by appearing more "professional", or to look more conventionally beautiful and thus find love with a partner, often Black men, who they feel they need and deserve. I fear that you are ignoring this sad reality just in order to conclude that everyone is beautiful without really getting at the true issues here. Everyone is beautiful, but that's not the point. The point is that not everyone is viewed as beautiful by everyone else, and that has real and tangible unjust and f-ed up effects on real people, especially Black women, all the time.

In this sense, I'm really feelin BlackFeminist's post because much of the self-deprecating activity expressed through chemically relaxing one's hair is done through so-called free choice of Black women....but that really doesn't make it harmless or positive or liberating.

Meggy B, that's a great story. I hope you swim all you want now.

i muse, you said "I'm a single mother. I took off my clothes and survived. Comparing that to your choices when styling you hair is ridiculous." I disagree, and I think this is exactly how racially-motivated rifts between feminists get started. Let's think about how our experiences overlap, not how they differ. I think what BlackFeminist was trying to say was that in the same way that as a stripper you may have placed yourself in a situation in which you felt powerful because you were doing what you wanted or had to do to get by, even if it was a result of an admittedly (and pretty indisputably) disrespectful-towards-women CULTURE, Black women who straighten their hair experience something similar to this, where they might need or even want to chemically straighten their natural hair even as they know it feeds into a culture that demeans their beauty.

I should admit that I think your comments were slightly ignorant as well in that pointing to Black women who have permed hair and are also successful does not strengthen your argument, it weakens it. That is exactly the point. They are viewed as successful by people like you- but what have they had to do and how have they had to present themselves in order to get there?

I think great things could happen if we all put a little more nuanced thought into our opinions about people and experiences with which we may be slightly unfamiliar or are viewing from a distance.

I'm white, but when I wear my hair in ringlets people ask to touch my hair all the time. I've even had complete strangers reach out and tug on my curls. It's very violating. It bothers me way more than I expect it to, every time it happens.
So while I can't really weigh in on the race issues involved in this, I can definitely sympathize with the violation of personal space.

When I had a shaved head, strange people came up all the time to give it a rub. Bloody infuriating. Why do people think it's okay to touch each other without permission?

Yeah, SP, I have long curly hair and people reach out and grab it. Just because I'm standing in line in front of you doesn't mean you have permission to touch me :D Ask, for goodness sakes: I'll probably be too off guard to tell you no.

Im navajo and irish- and my naturally straight course hair dreads itself in minutes. I have worn dreads for years and people have followed me around the store trying to touch my hair. This has also happened when i painfully braided it every day or when it was brushed straight and shiny and when it was shaved into a mohawk.
and i look white.

I admit, I have asked Black people to touch their hair. But they were always people that I had known personally. I've also asked people of all different ethnic types. I can see why it can be construed as racist, but I think natural Black hair is so beautiful and as an artist, I am extremely tactile. I like to touch things that are beautiful, because sight is only one sense and does real beauty injustice to rely on it alone.

I myself, am White and Hispanic, so I have thick, poofy hair, which I have worn very short since age 16. At one point, when it was longer, I used to blow-dry it straight 2-3 times a week. But after a while, I started thinking: Ok, this isn't worth it. Wearing it cropped short started as a practical solution to hair that was literally unmanageable (it was always a frizzy mess and left me hot and uncomfortable). But it became a political choice when people gave me strange reactions. People would assume I was a lesbian or mistake me for male. So much so that I felt the need to defend myself and stand up for my hair!

I understand where this anger comes from, but I don't think people who ask to touch someone's hair are acting overtly racist. I think the sense of exotic is racist, but the urge to touch and to understand is often fighting against that. I hope I'm making sense here. But I understand both sides of this.

At one point I had my head shaved and people always wanted to touch it. I didn't mind, because it actually felt nice. But I think most people have never seen a bald girl before, so they have an uncontrollable need to understand it in as many ways as possible. Think of how babies always pull on hair and have to touch and (sometimes) taste everything. I don't think the prejudice is in the individual people, but in the culture that gives White people little, if any, interaction with Black people. That is what perpetuates the idea of the exotic.

But- strangers should never ever touch you without permission. Ever. And strangers asking to is creepy.

And I do applaud women who choose to wear their hair natural. I would, if it were possible for me to do so.

@spike the cat: I have also gotten the Bo Derek comment for wearing my hair in braids... and I'm white.

When I was in India, people would sometimes touch my (curly) hair without permission. It annoyed me, but I *was* exotic to them (we're talking rural India here), so I didn't find it terribly odd. Also, it was mostly kids and teens.

One thing from the article bothered me: "Today white people still feel that they have the right to our bodies. "

I realize that this is a personal and passionate piece of writing. However, I really don't like being told how I feel, and I don't feel that I have a right to anyone's body except for my own. There was also an implication (and maybe this was just my interpretation) that white women don't get raped, and that white men are specifically to blame for the rape of black women. I think that the writer has a good point overall, but it's marred by this kind of racist (again, my opinion) writing in the details.

I'm sorry maybe I'm young and dumb but I think a hair style is just a hairstyle and the idea of natural being more correct is troublesome. Its JUST hair.

OK, I'm white (and blonde) - but I have over three feet of hair, and I get the "can I touch your hair" ALL THE TIME. Honestly, it happens at least once a week... So it's something I can empathize with. I also get (mostly children) touching it unexpectedly (like in line at the grocery store) - and because it's an experience I've shared, I feel compelled to put in my two cents on this topic.

I think it's way over-sensitive to racialize this. It is NOT something unique to one race, or people with a specific kind of hair. Let's face it - people are interested in things that are different than what they are familiar with - and a lot of people explore the world by touch (esp. kids)! As a child, I LOVED having friends with curly hair, kinky hair, all kinds of hair, because it was fun to play with hair that was different than mine. Heck, I STILL like to play with hair that is different from mine!!

Yes, it's kind of odd to have someone ask to touch your hair - but to be instantly offended & assume that it's some kind of racist commentary is just silly. Hair is just hair. And if someone is interested in your hair, be flattered - you are interesting, and they like your hairstyle! You don't have to say yes if you're uncomfortable with it, and you can say "please don't touch my hair" if they do it unexpectedly.

Geez... I would be a really unhappy person if I got upset every time someone wanted to touch my hair!

There is nothing in the world more beautiful than a liberated mind.

xocoatl, I also think you're being incredibly idealistic. And VMB, what a typical, ignorant response. I've been dealing with white people taking racial issues and saying "it's not a racial issue, you're being overly sensitive" for MUCH too long.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to live in America (and in this day an age, exist on the planet) and not internalize the idea that white is beautiful. It's not like black women in Africa were straightening their hair. It was after being brought over to America and trying to fit in as much as possible that black women began damaging the shit out of their hair through the use of hot combs and relaxers. Those things weren't even invented until the 19th century.

Additionally, my mother never straightened her hair until we moved to America. None of her other friends straightened their hair until they moved to America. I would never have thought it perfectly reasonable to wear a fucking weave that looks like it grew out of a Spanish woman's head as the default until I moved to America. Now it's even spread, as weaves an relaxers are all the rage in my home country and other parts of Africa as well (did you notice at the opening Olympic ceremonies how many of the female athletes from African countries had straight hair?)

Not to mention that the few times I wore my hair naturally (without a weave or braids) it was white people who made fun of me and touched it without asking and continued to do so after I told them to stop. When I got my hair braided, they would tell me I should expect to have strangers touch it because of the way it looks. Because, of course, being black (and wearing a TRADITIONALLY BLACK hairstyle) means you're so goddamn abnormal that you're just asking to be touched. I cut off all my hair a few months ago to stop dealing with that bullshit. And yes, people still like touching it without asking.

I don't think that every black woman who straightens her hair or wears a weave or does anything besides have a natural is self-loathing. But I do think at this point it has become the natural order of things so that a) women do it without even giving it a second thought or b) some women who do it really are self-loathing (not saying most or all, but it is pretty damn difficult not to internalize any of these stupid messages) or c) some women do it because their natural hair is too difficult to manage, and it makes things a lot easier.

I don't think hair is "just hair" - it's intensely personal and, for a lot of people, one of their defining visual characteristics.

I'm white, and I have thick, curly hair. It takes an hour to get it dry after washing it, so I only wash it twice a week and even then I dread it. On days when the last thing I want to do is spend the time with a straightening iron, I just stuff it all back into a pony tail as neatly as possible, which always results in ringlets bouncing out SOMEwhere. I've had people comment before that it looks "messy" when I do that, and I always look so much "nicer" when I take the time to straighten it. Of course, these are people who wash their hair, let it dry in a few minutes, and can just walk out the door with perfectly straight hair. I always just want to yell at them, "I am so SORRY that my hair is UNMANAGABLE, let me RUN HOME and make it look the way YOU want it to."

Hi Street scholar
Thanks for assuming I am white.
I guess that's what you assume of everyone unless they make their profile name include the tone of their skin.
Nice.
and
no
Stripping and choices with hair styling are not comparable.
I do not style my hair a certain way in order to survive-
it may assist my thriving, but, survival is a whole other story. have you or your children gone hungry?

This: "as a stripper you may have placed yourself in a situation in which you felt powerful because you were doing what you wanted "
Exemplifies your oversimplification and ignorance of my experience as a stripper.

What I do with my hair and what I did to survive as someone who was disabled and had a child to raise alone, do not compare.

Please stop using strippers to make your points, unless you've done it yourself. Can we please stop that trend in it's tracks now ?

Talk about actresses instead!
They go a lot further than any stripper and not just for money and survival.
They do it for fame and acceptance-
which relates more to this hair issue.

Meggy B commented on September 10, 2008 9:00 PM: "...All the hair we (my mom and various beauticians) had been trying to grow back my whole life. I was depressed. I was called a lesbian. I was sick and tired of this shit..."

Yeah, that stereotype sucks.

StreetScholar commented at September 10, 2008 9:10 PM: "I am therefore doing my own little part to actively redefine and counter the dominant mindset, which is VERY VERY REAL, if not tangible, that straight/fine hair is more beautiful/professional/acceptable/normal/better than curly/'nappy' hair..."

I totally agree, that mindset sucks too.

StreetScholar commented at September 10, 2008 9:10 PM: "whereas people who chemically relax their hair are at best ignoring and at worst actively contributing to this dominant mindset."

At the same time, if someone looking at two coworkers who have hair in loose waves can't tell which one chemically relaxed her hair and which one inherited hers from the straighter-haired people among her ancestors, is the one who chose to use relaxers contributing to the dominant mindset any more than the one who chose to not artificially curl her hair?

I'm reminded a bit of how accusing women who can keep their legs clean-shaven of making it harder for women like me whose hair grows back too fast to do that isn't fair because some women can't grow leg hair in the first place.