Well, what they really should do is list the women's names on the news in the morning so everyone knows to avoid them. I am really curious to ask the women who use this PMS buddy...WHY? Are you really that bad and monster-like that men who may not understand what is going on need to be warned?
oh!press pass

This reminds me of Sarah Haskins impression of a bridezilla terrorizing a city. It really just adds to men's fear of periods and the myth that women are these irrational, emotional creatures. Oh shit, batten down the hatches and hide the chocolate- she is menstruating!!

Hey, where can I find a service that warns me about all the other factors that cause people's moods to be altered? Can I get one for my friend's typical I-don't-like-Mondays meltdown? Can I get warnings when other people are stressed out from work? Hypoglycemic? Fighting with their spouse? Just back from vacation and wish they were still there? Because, really, I'd like a warning for anything that might affect the mood of my friends or colleagues. Most of those things are not so easy to schedule, of course. But neither are the menstrual cycles of many women I know, and their affect on mood, IME, can vary significantly depending on other circumstances.

So ... a fucking useless product based on a stereotype. Some days I wish I drank.

Right, like men really need more ammo to shut down women with a, "Are you having your period?" when they do something idiotic.

That's become something of a litmus test for boyfriends for me - as if my feelings during my period are any less valid than they are the rest of the time.

Thomas, you just made my day.
This is insane. If the people that I care about can't handle a conversation about the fact that I am a little cranky (PMS-related or otherwise), then they don't need to be someone I take into my confidence. Is it so hard to talk to people? Really? Not every personal issue can be solved with an automated mailer. It's very sad that instead of having a conversation, we substitute with an e-mail.

I'm on the site now, and it's even worse than that.

On its front page are "National Alert Levels" (with what seems to me are stats that are WAY off base mathematically, which suggests either bad working on their part or lots of incomplete information). There's a link for "PMS Stories" and "PMS Tips," which is just a way to provide links to other sites, while sprinkling in bullshit tips, such as "When all else fails, flowers will always do the trick. They are kryptonite to PMS," with a link to a flower site. On the plus side, they also have "Instead, talk to her, be supportive and understanding, and you are sure to get better results" on that tips page which is a start, at least.

What I wonder most of all is if they do a straight 28-day cycle for everyone who is to be "tracked," or if they allow for variances.

Would be really funny if anyone in my life ever tried to do that.

First of all, I'm on continuous cycle Nuvaring, so I don't even get periods or hormonal fluctuations now.

If I wasn't on any BC and was actually having periods like I do "normally," they vary anywhere from 4.5-7 weeks between them. I'd be impressed if that tracker somehow knew exactly when I was going to be getting my period.

Pretty sure there are a lot of women (if not most women) who aren't perfectly regular to the day every month, so it would at least become inaccurate over time.

That all, of course, in addition to the offensive uselessness of it, as has already been indicated.

I just decided this would be the perfect way to rid yourself of any jerk you are dating. Sign them up for these reminder e-mails, then the week before your period growl and bare your teeth anytime he comes near you while you are eating. Now thats a good time right there. :-)

Ha. Who would actually find something like this useful or worth the time? I don't understand.

this is just too ridiculous. it's something i'd expect from the onion, not a real website. when i studied abroad in the UK i took a women, bodies and cultures class and PMS and periods came up. there was a student from france in the class and she had no idea what pms was - apparently they don't have that term there. is pms a cultural construct? I have never experienced pms and no one has ever accused me of having it. i think it's an excuse for women and men to ignore or explain away angry emotions women may have (oh it must be that time of the month, or sorry i blew up, i'm pms-ing). it's another way to peg women as emotional lunatics.

speaking of periods, check out gloria steneim's hilarious article "if men could menstrate" http://www.haverford.edu/psych/ddavis/p109g/steinem.menstruate.html

Um, this sounds like a joke from a bad SNL skit. I can't believe it's a real service. Do we know how popular it is? Are there women who are actually using it and not incredibly offending by the concept that the men in their life need notice of their PMS, and, if so, that it is too shameful a thing to bring up face to face?

I was thinking about that article, pow3rful, but couldn't remember who wrote it or where I came across it. I can't believe I didn't realize it was written by Gloria herself!

That's really interesting about the French student. I don't know that PMS is a social construct - I've been on the Pill for 8 years because of massively severe cramps that always started the day before my period. I haven't had ANY sort of pre-period problems ever since then, so all I have is my friends' complaining about being moody and weepy before their period to go by. It's hard to tell, since I can only take it at face value, if they really are or if they think they're just supposed to be.

Whether it exists or not, I do think that society has managed to whip up a frenzy about it that's totally unwarranted and patronizing.

This is too funny. My boyfriend and I have been together for long enough that...he actually KNOWS when I'm PMSing! OMG! He can count to 28, knows the general timing of my period, he knows my normal moods (because he knows me, personally and intimately) and can tell the difference between when I am regular upset and clearly upset more than usual. Since we're open and I don't hide my "icky" girl functions from him, I will casually mention "Oh, I know I'm PMSing right now" or, "I should be starting my period this week.", which also helps him. He doesn't need an additional reminder, because we don't tip-toe around it. The same way I would tell him that I'm cranky for any other reason. And, he's not stupid or insensitive enough to dismiss any of my emotions (at least, not out loud) to chalk it up to me PMSing. I guess that's the difference in being in a equal, loving relationship, and the being in one that requires this sort of calendar aid. We help each other to understand each other.

I feel bad for any people who feel the need to use this. I feel sorry for people who can't speak openly about stuff like this, and for those who don't know their female partners well enough to know the difference between their regular moods & being slightly hormonal.

I can tell you that PMS is more than just mood swings, and although I don't get bad symptoms every month, I've had a fair range of PMS related issues. Moodiness is one thing that I do get every month, but if I'm at work or out in the real world, I'm perfectly capable of functioning without biting people's heads off or breaking down crying, as are pretty much most women. Not all women get PMS, and I'm pretty sure that even if it's culturally related, it has more to do with things like diet and environment than it does with a long running fad.

As for this product, it's completely useless. I could see using it as a joke with close friends or something silly like that, but like another poster said, it just feeds into the stereotype that women with PMS are emotional wrecks that shouldn't be taken seriously. I'm sick of this particular catch-22. Either I'm a mess and society expects me to be incapable of functioning or my symptoms are in my head. No, really, I'm somewhere in between. I'm lucky my PMS symptoms, like the migraines, aren't worse, and I can still function normally at work and stuff. But at the same time, I still don't feel good and could use a little slack, with people's shitty attitudes if nothing else.

Danyell, I can't agree more. It's like you described my and my boyfriend's relationship perfectly. Although, if you're in a mature enough relationship to be that comfortable and close with each other, I guess it kind of comes with the territory.

Why not just print up shirts to wear that say "I'm moody and irrational today - don't take me seriously"? If you're going to give a few people permission to not take you seriously you might as well extend the privilege.

Because it would be too much to expect those around us (and for us as well) to simply be compassionate and understanding toward anyone who is having a rough time, regardless of the reason? I'd like to think that it honestly doesn't really matter why someone is feeling ill, moody, or whatever. When people we love, befriend, or work with are out of sorts, we try to deal with it in a mature and respectful way, period.

I did read in my human sexuality textbook that in many cultures PMS isn't recognized, and women who feel negatively towards their periods are more likely to have PMS. I think I may get a little more irritable, but it's more of not being able to put up with things that bother than it is some irrational behavior.

I did read in my human sexuality textbook that in many cultures PMS isn't recognized, and women who feel negatively towards their periods are more likely to have PMS. I think I may get a little more irritable, but it's more of not being able to put up with things that bother me than it is some irrational behavior.

I'm going to go look at this site and consider signing up. When my wife (we'll call her "AT") is PMSing, both what stresses her out and how she responds to stress are different from what I've come to know as her baseline. AT often doesn't realize she's PMSing unless she stops to do a little calculation. Sometimes she tells me her period is coming up, and other times we're both into an argument that seems hard to explain before one of us remembers that there's an intensifying factor.

I've often thought I should set up a recurring PMS reminder in my calendar (maybe that's what I should finally do, instead of the website). I don't see why it's so weird to want to know about AT's mood before getting into conversations with emotional content. I'd love to get a text at around 4:30pm when she's had a bad day at work, too. If we both were perfect communicators and if I were super considerate all the time, there'd be no point in it. But we're not, and I'm not, and it seems like a perfectly good use of technology to remind me when I should put extra effort into those things.

On a similar note, AT says there's a time during her cycle when she's extra horny. I should calendar this, too, so's I can try to make sure I'm not depending on getting work done in the evenings.

I don't buy "my PMS made me do it" from women just as I don't buy, "boys will be boys" from men. We are all humans and we may not be able to control how we FEEL, we can control how we ACT. I know of no case where PMS pushed a woman's hormones to a level where she had no conscience awareness of what she was doing. That's why I always bite peoples heads off if they ask if it's that time of the month when I'm angry or short with them. It's not PMS, it's me being righteously angry.

This is just...wow. Really? Maybe we should start sending out email alerts - 'hey it's not PMS, we're just bitches'.

For some reason the most annoying part to me is the name. PMS "buddy". It's extra silly and childish, so it just further reinforces the 'you don't have to take her seriously now!' message.

I don't see why it's so weird to want to know about AT's mood before getting into conversations with emotional content.

Because people have this annoying-as-frak habit of treating a moods during PMS as an "other" or as separate from the woman. Guess what? When we're PMSing, everything we feel is still a valid feeling. You say your wife stresses at different things and in different ways when she's PMSing, but it's still stress. Real stress that affects her in real ways. Tiptoeing around her or treating her like she's someone not capable of having a real conversation during that time is condescending.

@alixana, I agree. Didn't mean to imply otherwise.

eh this thing is pretty idiotic, I see 90% of the users of this being male co-workers, one signs another up without him knowing it and its all -fun- from there.

as far as asking "are you on your period", I never do that but it pisses me off when someone bites my head off or acts incredibly rudely towards me and then later in the conversation or later that day apologizes and tells me they are having their period. Sometimes they dont apologize, they just tell me that as it that justifies damn near anything.

"we may not be able to control how we FEEL, we can control how we ACT" - god damn right, I just wish all people would walk the walk. I don't give a shit what you might be feeling, if we're at work and whatever it is thats ailing you hasnt prevented you from being at work there is no reason to be rude, bite peoples heads off or anything else. It just seems for every idiot guy who makes an on the rag comment, a woman will use her period to excuse bad behavior. Frustrating.

on the other hand, i use mon.thly.info to get discreet, not-insulting reminders and information about my own cycle. and that is why god made the internet.

"we may not be able to control how we FEEL, we can control how we ACT"

Hehhehheh, I have this argument with my mother ALL the time, in regards to everyday behavior. She just lets herself let go and flip out on everybody whenever she feels stressed and justifies it by saying, "I can't help it, I get stressed." I'm always like, "We ALL get stressed, but we don't all decide to go around yelling at people."

I love her, but getting that woman to take responsibility for her actions is practically impossible.

Wow, you can even add it to your Facebook profile.

Ok I get why this is a bad thing but I have some friends who don't count in convential ways so this wouldn't be such a bad idea for them. But otherwise. Ick. Call it something else!!!

Take it from someone who's used it, the buddy works great!

Dude! That is like the perfect setup for a mini psych expirement! Send your partner/friends/coworkers/whatevers the buddy alert on just some random week just to see how they treat you. Are they more defensive, make more comments about being moody, try to be more comforting, more lenient?

I am so doing that to my boyfriend *grin*.... but hey that's just me, I'm a psych major and I love to mess with peoples minds.

As a guy, especially one who lives with his girlfriend and has for years, let me say that this is largely superfluous. Most of the time, guys don't notice a difference (c'mon; we don't notice new haircuts. You really think we'd notice that?) and the ones with girlfriends whose moods do demonstrably change probably keep better track of it than this stupid internet application.

I think that's a cool idea, dabraingirl.

Why would anybody need this? If I'm in such a bad mood and want to be left alone, I'll just say so.

I get the "You're just PMSing" type argument when I'm hungry or haven't taken my anti-anxiety medicine. I'm so happy to see other people getting pissed off when people discount their feelings. Just because I'm PMSing/not taking my medicine/hungry/tired doesn't mean that you didn't do something to make me angry.

Mediating relationships through technology lets us distance ourselves from our bodies ... and the icky menstruating vag.