This essay really struck a chord with me. My family is bi-coastal, one half primarily living in the Pacific North West and the other half almost entirely in rural Georgia. The social and political skew is stereotypically predictable by geography. I have, on the Georgia side, three female cousins who have all gone in for the very "Southern Belle" lifestyle; this is cool if that's your bag then go for it but when I talk to them about my life and relationships or politics it's like I start speaking a foreign language. This is going to sound like a joke, but a couple of years ago I was getting quite serious with a woman who is an MD and my cousin Robyn seriously suggested that "It's going to be hard for her to give that up when you get married so you might want to consider that.", meanwhile I'm a late college student who if and when I do get my PhD it will be in either lit of philosophy. But this thought was as natural to her as "peel orange before eating" is to anyone, she literally has had zero exposure to any other way of thinking, and so even if she were dissatisfied she probably wouldn't know it. Robyn is not dumb, or vapid, nor is she lacking in ambition or drive. But it is all focused and directed in predetermined paths.

I think there are a lot of folks out there who are either satisfied with the status-quo or they are unaware that there are other ideas out there for them to run with. And I think the truly terrifying thing about how our system works to maintain things is by giving the majority just enough to keep them complacent. There are some good books on revolutionary tactics and one methodology that seems cruel, but is almost always a necessary tool to getting popular support for change is to find those tools used by the hegemony to maintain the docile and tranquil state of the proletariat and to disrupt it.

It is also possible that the young women depicted in the essay were quite a bit more savvy than they were letting on and were simply working the guy for drinks. Thinking this thought makes me smile a little bit.

Interesting essay.

"And when they do, I hope that feminism will be there -- ready to help make the journey beyond fashion and fake eyelashes, into true power."

"The man next to me at the bar was hoping to entice two young women (barely legals) via his expense
account."

What's "true" power? Can't fashion and eyelashes be considered "true" power because they're fleeting? What's not fleeting in life? Who was more powerful in this interaction?

As another 40-something fogy, I really enjoyed this essay. I often wonder where have all the feminists gone. (that's why I LOVE this site!)

I think we have to consider how we educate our children in this country, both girls and boys. They run off to kindergarten full of excitement and eagerness to learn. However, by 5th grade they're often bored or overwhelmed, definitely shut down. The young women in the airport missed the great geography teacher to show them all the wonderful places in the world to visit and the social studies lesson about our history and politics. They missed out on their first women's studies class in college where they would have found their power. Instead they watch tv without a critical eye to the message and learn instead the need for fake eyelashes.

I have young daughters, their dreams are big and they are hungry to learn. If we flashed back to these young women's early years (before bodies start to change) I bet we'd find power.

ts, I think that true staying power comes from an understanding and appreciation of others and the world around you, and attempting to better that place, no matter how trivial that may seem. I think it's a matter of giving yourself up a little in order to make others' lives better. Which in turn would make false eyelashes relatively fleeting.

It's so easy to write women off, women like "that." It's crucial not to judge one from a snippet of a conversation--just because they may be wearing heels or talking about makeup does not mean they don't have a fire inside of them, (or even that they don't identity as a feminist, but that's a whole 'norther story). I was that girl until I took my first feminism course and met a few amazing people that challenged my thought process. Notions of equality are inherent in all of us, but in most cases I feel they must be fostered by outside parties, and these girls may have not come across that opportunity yet.

What I'm saying is: It's in them. It's in all of us. It just needs to be procured a little.

ts, wood-raising is not really a power. (feminism taught me that.)

I remember dreaming my firstborn will be a boy. I was in high school and that's what I wanted. Because girls were ughghgh. Ivy League education later I could care less if it's a boy or a girl because I am a different person now. And I still don't have children because I am focusing on my career. I hope the same for these two young women. I agree with previous posters that what we are exposed to changes who we are.

On a recent family camping trip in Northern Michigan, I was amazed to walk into the public bathroom and see young women blow-drying and curling their hair. Mothers even joined in the beauty game, standing in the heat and humidity to style their daughters' hair. One young girl, maybe 13/14, wouldn't leave the bathroom until she was reassured that her hair-tie matched her outfit. With the high-heeled sandals on most of the feet, it felt like "camp-fire prom". the only thing missing were the fancy gowns.

Maybe it's my perspective as another 40-something feminist, but I was shocked and horrified and really saddened by what I saw. My memories of camping are flashlight tag and hikes through the woods, where I learned how to spot animal tracks and find my direction by where the sun/moon was in the sky. I learned how to build a fire and how to body-surf in the waves of Lake Michigan. I learned how to recognize petoskey stones and poison ivy. Camping was all about fun and play and spending time in/with nature.

Call me crazy but I feel much more powerful setting up my own tent, making campfire coffee and navigating through the woods then I've ever felt having perfect hair and polished nails. Will these young girls EVER know that power: that sense of themselves as resourceful women of infinite possibilty whose looks are only a small portion of who they are as a whole? Or, will we as a society continue to raise women who are unaware of the full scope of their potential?

Thanks for the space to rant!

Um, this essay struck me as extremely elitist, and, worse, as missing the point.

"True power" -- what the hell is "true power," aside from education? Surely the essayist is not equating "power" with money, is she? Or an expense account? The problem with those young women is, they are stupid. Period. It has nothing to do with a lack of feminism. Sorry.

The essayist does suggest there are pea-brained young men out there but then drops it. That is correct. The pea-brained young men don't care about eyelashes but about video games. And getting laid. And guess what? There are pea-brained older people of both genders out there.

More young women are going to college than the boys, and I suggest that there are more pea-brained young men out there than women. It's about education, and aspiring for a cultured life, and being attuned to the larger world that exists outside of self and eyelashes and video games.

I wish to hell that every issue weren't filtered through a gender lens. It's diverting people from seeing the real issues.

I know I played the vapid, clueless girl game when I was younger. It was always in me to be clever and witty, but when I saw who/what got the attention from boys, I totally succumbed to it. But after awhile, when I got to seeing how things "really" worked (and had a rad lady mentor who made me Olivia Newton/Bikini Kill mix tapes), I chose not to play in small ways. It's been an uphill battle ever since. I suspect it's like that for a lot of girls- that's why we have to keep practicing what we preach here. And find a little girls to mentor!

I think "from a small town in Oklahoma" says it all. I know people from small towns in Oklahoma who aren't like that but they are the exception, not the rule. These girls (and children from small towns in Oklahoma in general) were probably never encouraged to do anything but look pretty and be obedient and "godly".

But this is why I get so angry with feminism/liberals/progressives/Democrats (not talking about anyone here, thank god) sometimes. These kids need alternatives to that, and the near-constant snubbing of them is not helping. We need to befriend people like this and try to pull out the intelligence and self-agency in them that was simply never given a chance. Yet I'm down here in the trenches, trying to do just that, and getting asked by too many feminists/liberals/progressives/Democrats why I don't just move to someplace that isn't like this. It's so much easier to just judge someone than it is to try to make a difference in their life. But if we can't even be bothered to talk to our fellow Americans, how do we expect to try to make America better?

Axel - I agree, peabraininess knows no gender or age boundaries. But going to college, even getting a degree doesn't mean a person is any less of a peabrain. Students can quite happily get through a four year degree without broading their horizons, gaining sophisticated insights into life, the universe and everything or otherwise reducing their peabraininess. Plenty of college grads are only interested in video games, getting laid, eye lashes. By the same token, just because someone doesn't go to college doesn't necessarily mean that they are a peabrain. The are plenty of responsible, conscientious, aware and open-minded young people who don't go to college - and are interested in things other than getting laid, video games and eyelashes.

I'm in my early twenties and I see everyone my age struggling to find themselves and achieve the predefined 'goals' we are supposed to want (job, house, family, expensive cars, etc).

Everyone is different and working at their own pace; I have no problem with that.

But to me power/freedom in the social sphere is the ability to be that waif in the too short skirt, looking fabulous while I work on my PhD. Fashion/art are not the opposites of intelligence.

It's very empowering to look stereotypically beautiful and outsmart boys at the same time, giving their assumptions a little rattle.

;O)

axel,

first off, and don't take this as a condemnation of what you have to say, but i love seeing these two statements together:

Um, this essay struck me as extremely elitist...

and

The problem with those young women is, they are stupid. Period.

here's my analysis... there is no such thing as stupid people. no. such. thing. i've been mixed up with all kinds of folks and, to quote the good die mostly over bullshit, "Believe it or not, it's some very intelligent junkies/ But dependencies is eatin away at they souls like disease"...

i think the dominant system gets us addicted to certain types of attention while diminishing our capacity to understand our own potentials. this is why, rather than shunning or shaming, we need to recognize when our brothers and sisters are in a sorry state and do what we can to help them lift themselves up (and to see the ways in which they can broaden our congested views).

that's why wag_ghost's work is so utterly important... people only know of themselves what society allows us to know... and if the most positive reinforcement one receives is for appearance or toughness or being obnoxious, then that's what we'll done. none of us are above that and no one is "peabrained" for giving into the base needs that all of us share...

so let's stop writing folks off as dumb and recognize that it's a situation that can hold any of us back ("there but for fortune")... and that the work to change the system is so much more important for these people... recognize that these two young women are not taking feminism for granted or consciously ignoring the gains of feminism... that feminism hasn't reached them isn't a failing of theirs - it's a failing of feminism...

and give thanks for folks like wax_ghost (and my girl ozzie in west va, even though i wish she'd move back to ny) who are filling the gaps while the rest of us feel good about ourselves in more "liberated" areas.

I think cybergurl69 and adminassistant are correct in pointing to the importance of mentorship. I went to an all-girls feminist high school, am college-educated, and work in women's rights, and it STILL was a struggle for me entering the workforce and 'discovering my power.' It took a lot of self-help books and, more importantly, an older friend's encouragement to read these books, to snap me out of it.

The problem is that the behavior and language that women are socialized to exhibit - and are socially rewarded for doing so - are almost always the exact opposite that will help them succeed professionally. (For example, talking softly and laughing after we speak - great tactic for attracting men at frat parties, not so much for being taken seriously at work).

These girls are most likely encouraged to act and think this way, and are rewarded by their peers for doing so. The more of us that can provide encouragement to young women to act otherwise, the more young women will feel empowered to think differently about themselves and their future.

I think the author is equating "true power" with really knowing oneself and realizing one's full potential. This may not mean a formal education but it does mean knowledge. I once would have appeared very similar to these girls. I am also from a small town and both my local environment and the media really hammered home the message that as a female the best/only way for me to have power was to be "beautiful". When I open up my high school journal now I cringe. Much of it is full of talk of boys, clothes, physical insecurities, self starvation, and a fleeting sense of momentary power/satisfaction when I received praise or attention for my appearance. What I couldn't find articulated in my journal but remember clearly from that time was a simmering rage beneath my facade that was evident in the music I loved. I was even jealous of my brother because I thought he had it so much better (at least he got to eat). I know plenty of girls go through college and come out about as blind as they went in but when I went to hear slam poet Alix Olsen on campus for an assignment and heard all of my rage being articulated I realized that I was a feminist and began to understand what was wrong in my life and to slowly make changes. Once I began searching for feminism I found it but for girls (and boys) who don't grow up in a feminist community the overwhelming majority of the messages reaching them by the media are at least partially sexist. It is hard to say what will become of those girls in the airport. I think it is a matter of being exposed to feminist thought coupled with a realization that life the way it is could be better. If anything bothered me about this piece it was the emphasis on false lashes. I'm sure the author knows that feminists can come with false lashes and was trying to show that appearance is the focus of these girls lives, but it still king of bugged me. Oh, and I admit I have no idea what the biotech industry is other than a rough guess made by defining "bio" and "tech". I'm not sure if this is a result of sexism in culture/myself or just one of those "ignorant spots" that many otherwise educated people have.

I taught math for a year at the alternative school, and it was depressing to me how many of the girls had this anti-school, anti-technology, I'm-just-going-to-have-babies mindset. I remember being really afraid of getting pregnant when I was their age because it seemed like all of my options would be gone. But it almost seemed to me like that closing off of options feels safe to them. Like once you have a baby and settle into the trailer park (not a stereotype here - this is the reality of their lives) then everything's settled and you don't have to think anymore. I was talking about this with my partner a few weeks ago (concerning his niece, who seems to have this same mindset), and the only way I could describe it is that it's a sort of failure of imagination. They simply can't imagine themselves doing anything really great or adventurous. So sad.

I think what it is with girls like the ones the author encountered in the airport is that
#1. they are taught by their families and communities that "this is all there is" or to de-value education, etc. and
#2 there are no role models in their communities to debunk these myths.

I am from Buffalo, NY, which while it is not rural is a very depressed community in every sense of the word. I was told from a young age not to expect too much from life--that the best i could hope for was to get some low paying job and marry some guy who didn't beat me. THAT WAS HOW I WAS RAISED. I had no other role models in my community, until I went to High School (I went to a Performing Arts Magnet School, which my parents encouraged me NOT to attend, they wanted me to go to vocational school). Once I realized more was possible, because I SAW it, then I began to strive. And I ended up in college, and then an Ivy League Grad School. (When my mom told people in my neighborhood I was going to Columbia, they thought I was going to the COUNTRY of COLUMBIA with the Peace Corps.

What I am saying is it's very hard to want more if you have been raised not to want more and never see anyone who GOT more in your OWN community. You can see it on TV, in magazines, etc, but unless someone you KNOW does it, it's so abstract....

the tone of this article also struck me as incredibly elitist and also reductive. (i.e. "false eyelashes" immediately stands in for "confused slutty idiot in need of my education".) to me, i always thought feminism was meant to enable freedom of choice and to promote greater understanding among all people that there are literally countless great, valid ways to make a life. look, the girl went to college, she didn't like it, or wasn't any good at it, so she left....who are any of us to pity her or to make the assumption that our happiness is more valid that hers? (i mean, my mother is a very intelligent, educated, well-read, feminist woman, who also can't even check her voicemails, never mind comparison-shop airfares online.) and i got my manicure and pedicure done yesterday, and next week i'll be starting my third year of graduate school. judge me by a single outward characteristic at your peril.

again, if being a feminist means that we have to fit into a specific, coded lifestyle/appearance/set of interests, even if it is matriarchal rather than patriarchal, count me out. i'm a smart woman and i can determine my own way, thanks VERY much.

yeah, i agree with being uncomfortable with the way the women in the essay were judged. maybe they were, as another commenter suggested, just milking some pervy older guy for free drinks.

as to power, it isnt easy to define. maybe those women knew just what they were doing. afterall, paris hilton exploited the way people stereotyped her as a dumb blond to earn incredible amounts of money through various ventures. meanwhile i hear professors without tenure often lamenting their lack of healthcare and a good salary.

you kno the more i type this out, the more i delete what im typing. i dont want power, i dont want anybody to strive to have power. power implies power/over someone else. id rather we strive for a society where all peoples are happy and safe.

1. Paris Hilton started out with money.

2. There is limited, circumscribed power in youth and good looks. Unless it brings a young women other types of power (financial, social, etc)that you can keep for yourself, and systems usually disallow women from getting real power that way, it is useless. Free drinks are not power, my friends.