I think this is a really important topic that doesn't get nearly enough coverage.

Oftentimes I feel feminists and other "liberal" thinkers feel forced to treat abortion as a simple gyncelogical procedure. We are forced to do that in order to protect women's rights, lest to give the crazy conservatives fuel for their fires.

But the reality is that for a lot of women, it's a very difficult and agonizing decision. And those women need support. If they don't have a supportive partner, family or group of other women in their life, they need to know it's okay to be sad afterwards. It's okay to be scared beforehand. And most importantly, it good to seek stories from other people who have been through the same thing.

Informed choices are the best choices. Hearing about a good experience in a clinic or during a abortion can help so much with one's attitude when going in. And really, I think that the more information that is out there, the better place it is for all women facing these decisions.

I think that this is a very important topic. I had an abortion in March and though it was a very difficult choice to make I was very thankful to have the right to make that choice and to find a clean, safe place to go through with my decision. I went to planned parenthood and found that everyone was very understanding and treated me with respect and empathy (more so than the man I was involved with at the time, as a matter of fact). My friends don't know I had an abortion nor would they ever guess that I was the "type" to have an abortion. Well...guess what America, there is no one "type" to have an abortion. In my case I was lied to by a man who who turned out to be married. I found out this little gem of information after I found out I was pregnant. That doesn't erase my part of the responsiblity in making sure I didn't become pregnant, but having relations with someone you believe to be single and conceiving a child and being with someone who is married and conceiving are two very different things to me. I support myself and am a mature twentysomething but I couldn't see linking myself for life with someone who could be honest about anything and who I could not trust at all. It was extra difficult for me because at the time I thought of myself as a practicing Christian and I knew all my "good Christian" friends would never understand or condone my decision. I would have chosen adoption but the father told me that was out of the question and he'd never agree to it. My point in stating this whole backstory is to say that everyone makes mistakes and there are many women like myself who probably find themselves in a position they never thought they'd be in. I am thankful for the healthcare professionals who work at abortion clinics and also for the online support groups out there who can really make a difference for women after an abortion. The man I was with didn't even want to talk about it after that day so I was left to deal with a lot on my own and I don't know how I would have done it without the help of other women online. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my decision and feel sadness and regret. People talk about the right to choose but never the actual action of making that choice.

I think that this is a very important topic. I had an abortion in March and though it was a very difficult choice to make I was very thankful to have the right to make that choice and to find a clean, safe place to go through with my decision. I went to planned parenthood and found that everyone was very understanding and treated me with respect and empathy (more so than the man I was involved with at the time, as a matter of fact). My friends don't know I had an abortion nor would they ever guess that I was the "type" to have an abortion. Well...guess what America, there is no one "type" to have an abortion. In my case I was lied to by a man who who turned out to be married. I found out this little gem of information after I found out I was pregnant. That doesn't erase my part of the responsiblity in making sure I didn't become pregnant, but having relations with someone you believe to be single and conceiving a child and being with someone who is married and conceiving are two very different things to me. I support myself and am a mature twentysomething but I couldn't see linking myself for life with someone who could be honest about anything and who I could not trust at all. It was extra difficult for me because at the time I thought of myself as a practicing Christian and I knew all my "good Christian" friends would never understand or condone my decision. I would have chosen adoption but the father told me that was out of the question and he'd never agree to it. My point in stating this whole backstory is to say that everyone makes mistakes and there are many women like myself who probably find themselves in a position they never thought they'd be in. I am thankful for the healthcare professionals who work at abortion clinics and also for the online support groups out there who can really make a difference for women after an abortion. The man I was with didn't even want to talk about it after that day so I was left to deal with a lot on my own and I don't know how I would have done it without the help of other women online. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my decision and feel sadness and regret. People talk about the right to choose but never the actual action of making that choice.

grlnextdoor commented on July 25, 2008 10:34 PM: "I would have chosen adoption but the father told me that was out of the question and he'd never agree to it."

He could have forced you to raise the child? That's terrible! The law should have at least let you refuse custody then leave it up to him to either raise the child or refuse custody and send the child to foster care and possibly adoption.

Yes, Mina, there is no easy way to give a child up for adoption without consent of the father. The father has just as many rights as the monther. I even checked with a lawyer about it. The father wanted me to have the child and give it to him and be out of the picture rather than give the child up for adoption. I knew I couldn't do that because who could give a child over to the father knowing that he was a liar, a cheat and didn't appear to have one ounce of good character in him?

It really is too easy to forget that abortion is emotionally trying, especially as a guy who never has to worry about the option personally. The right to choice is always something that's easy for me to support for that same reason, but it's definitely something that gets minimized from time to time by those who defend it as "a medical procedure."

Good find.

I just got home from my 10.5 hour work day at an abortion clinic. I love my job, but I'm not always thanked for it. The kind words here are amazing and I can't thank you enough.

I knew a girl (she was 16) that had the same situation happen to her. The "father" wasnt involved in the girls pregnancy at all, nor did he express any interest in being a father - until she had the baby. She had planned on giving it up for adoption, but when the father heard about the birth, he became sentimental and said because he didnt have a father that he wanted to be one. He refused to sign the papers and give the baby up for adoption. She ended up having to keep the baby. She ended up doing most of the care for the kid, and when he had the kid he majoritively let his mother tend to it. For his frivolity she had to keep the kid. She was the only one thinking lucidly about the realities of parenting, childcare and the babys welfare.

This is why we need legal, safe abortion. A woman shouldnt have to give up a child to an unhealthy father, especially one that doesnt care about the woman or the realities of having baby. You dont go through nine months of pregnancy and labor simply to give it up to a frivolous parent. Pregnancy is not a service.

My friends were all of the same philosophy, "It's your choice and we'll support whatever choice you'll make"

I was treated with respect at Planned Parenthood.

The procedure took place in a clean environment.

The nurses and doctors were supportive and efficient.

I was offered counsel, but, not forced to sit through any lectures.

I was relieved. I benefited from the option and have since volunteered at Planned Parenthood fundraisers.

I recommended Planned Parenthood to a friend who was making the choice to abort. She also had a good experience and is relieved. Life goes on a lot easier for her having made that choice than it would if she had the child.
She left with condoms, a new prescription of a different form of BC and the went to the pharmacy for the day after pill.

Thank goodness for Planned Parenthood!

I have a friend who works at as a nurse at an abortion clinic, and probably the most striking thing she's told me is that the women who go to one doctor there always leave in great pain, while the women who go to another doctor there rarely have any pain after the procedure. One result of the extreme stigmatization of abortion has been that doctors don't always worry about whether their patients are comfortable. Pain or lack of pain makes a huge difference in terms of whether a medical experience is positive or negative, and doctors should receive training in how to minimize discomfort in their patients.

Like MetaHara,

I was treated with respect at Planned Parenthood.

The procedure took place in a clean environment.

The nurses and doctors were supportive and efficient.

I was offered counsel, but, not forced to sit through any lectures.

It was a difficult decision, no doubt. I felt utterly alone, believing that I knew no one else who had been in the same situation. The sperm donor was my boyfriend of two years and best friend of seven years, and wasn't there for me when I needed him most. I was scared before and spent the entire afternoon crying afterward.

However, I woke up the next morning and have been thankful everyday for my right to determine when and how I want to be a mother. I was able to finish my degree, get an awesome job, and my own home.

And, most importantly, by talking openly about having an abortion, I have learned that many other women in my life, both young and old, have had abortions too.

I made the choice at 19 to have an abortion, and although it was a difficult choice on some levels, what made it the clearly correct option was my realization that I was too selfish at that time to give birth. What made it a positive experience? Looking at the son I chose to have 8 years later. Had I chosen another path at 19, I would never have taken the very colorful road to where I am now, nor would I have been blessed with the young man who is my son now. Sometimes, it helps to remember that in the midst of the decision, it may not seem like there can be a positive outcome, but time tends to put things into perspective. I have no regrets, although I had my abortion in the early 80's in a very conservative state, and just locating a clinic and dealing with the stigma were a challenge. I would tell someone making the choice today that they should trust their gut, and not the noise around them, they KNOW what is best for them, and let that knowledge guide them. I will not accept the guilt of the pro-life agenda. They will not live with the consequences of my choice, I will, and I am glad I made the choice I did.