It's funny. When my partner and I were getting measured for our wedding dresses, our dressmaker asked us, "You're not going on some diet to lose weight for the wedding, are you?" She hated when women did that. Made it so much harder to make their wedding dresses fit right.

We loved our dressmaker.

And I'd like to point out that losing weight quickly for some big event -- in addition to fueling body fascism and female self-hatred , etc. -- is a really great way to GAIN weight in the long run. If you're trying to keep your weight down for health reasons (or even for appearance reasons), crash dieting is one of the worst things you can do.

Reality is impervious to decryination!

None of this "television for women" is anything I would ever watch.

This isn't real, right? You're making this up? I've never even heard of this WE channel.

First of all, if that girl needs to loose weight, were all fucking doomed.

second of all, pool dancing???!! can we objectify women more? draging a bride to be poll dancing. where the hell did that come from? Wheres the husband? he doesnt care that shes doing this shit?

And who is stupid enough to tell a bride not to drink at her bachlorete party and think she'll actually do it. oh no! she ate really food for one night! I'm supized they didnt have practice vomiting sessions in th bathroom after dinner reality tv.

augh! gross.

ps.I realise thease women agree to be on a show like this so I guess they are suposed to know and follow the rules and shit but wtf???

It's really hard not to get sucked into the whole dieting thing when you start talking weddings, and easy to forget that if they wanted to marry you at the size you are, why should it matter when it comes to the wedding day.

The forced lap dance at the end made me a bit uncomfortable though. It was kind of weird.

In addition to the ridiculous of thinking the girl in the video needs to lose a ton of weight, look at this picture and the description of the upcoming episode that it accompanies:
http://www.wetv.com/shows/bulging-brides/episodes/SH010140960000
Oh yeah, that girl really "packed on the pounds"! What a "caloric catastrophe!" *scowl*
I understand that people want to look their best on their wedding day and in pictures... but this show (and so many others like it) is basically telling people that they can't possibly look their best unless they're a size 4.

I love that this post is sponsored by Robbins Brothers. They know their audience!

There is an unbelievable amount of pressure in the "traditional heterosexual wedding." I'm getting married in September and promised myself that my wedding would be different.

So far it hasn't happened. It's mostly my fault because I'm too busy to put something together that would be non-traditional and the run-of-the-mill weddings are almost cookie cutters. The work has already been done, I just have to sign the contract and pay the money. (I'd do a JP in a second, but part of the celebration is sharing the happiness with those closest. And the more you share, the more "traditional" it seems to become.)

It is very easy to get caught up in all of the hoopla of the day. I've already been planning this one day for the last 6 months.

For those of us who work hard to plan this event, we want it to look nice. I'm not naive enough to think my day will be perfect (in fact, I hope it won't be), but it is expected that the bride wants it all to go beautifully. And because a photographer is most likely going to be there, brides want to look "perfect" as well.

I don't think there will be a day in my life where more pictures will be taken of me. I can't help but hope that I'll look good in the pictures and I'm sure many brides feel similarly. I won't diet to fit in my dress, but I will be exercising because that is what makes me feel attractive to myself. And I want pictures that reflect that, if only for a day.

I hate, HATE that the wedding industrial complex has taken over what should be a happy day with friends and relatives. I hate that it's telling me what I'm SUPPOSED to want and SUPPOSED to do. I hate that it isn't as easy to color outside of the lines when it comes to weddings.

To me, these reality shows are just extensions of societal norms (and therefore the capitalistic wedding industrial complex) and expectations for women in how to look, behave, and want in their lives. Reality TV finds that women don't handle these expectations very well and deem it entertaining to watch them crumble under the pressure. No thanks.

Sorry, this got kind of ranty. I'm working on a Ph.D. and planning a wedding in the same time frame and it's getting to me.

Can somehow tell me how pole dancing is supposed to help anyone lose weight?

Whatever happened to just riding your bike for an hour?

Great. The combination of two things that I could really give a rat's ass about - weddings and diets. About the time I think reality TV can't sink any lower - it does.

@sean

The pole dancing workout has been around for a while (I think because Carmen Electra was trying to resuscitate her career). http://www.aerobicstriptease.com/

In their defense, if you do it right it's a fantastic aerobic exercise (if not a little bit silly).

"Can somehow tell me how pole dancing is supposed to help anyone lose weight?"

Whatever else one might say about it, pole dancing has been embraced widely as an exercise phenomenon. Sheila Kelley's S-factor, for example.

I don't offer this as an excuse for the television show, merely as an explanation for this aspect of its content.

I was waiting for you to post on this! Every morning when I go to work, the pathway out of the train station has about ten advertisements for this show, and it immediately knocks my good day potential down a few notches. The ads show different women in various exercise-y poses, with their wedding dresses in the background.


What bothers me, beyond the concept of the show itself, is the effing title. Convenient alliteration is not a good enough excuse for the show's creators to choose as asinine and degrading an adjective as "bulging" to describe the women on the show. The advertisements, annoying as they are, do not depict "bulging" women, but beautiful women with nice figures. The woman in the clip did not look as though she needed to lose weight either. While that's not exactly the point, and the whole issue of women going on mad diets for their weddings is beyond the scope of this comment, I would like to point out the blatantly insulting nature of the title. Marketing a title like this as cunning or amusing takes for granted the fact that women will laugh along, will accept this enforced insult. Pretty gross, if you ask me.

Did anyone else find it incredibly creepy when the guy told her to prepare to fulfill her life-long dream? Sorry, which part was suppose to be her life-long dream? Becoming a stripper, or losing two dress sizes before her wedding? Either way, implying that either of those should be anyone's life-long dream is pretty disgusting.

I was kind of wondering why the friends she was with had to tag along for the workout? "Sorry gals, your my bridal party and my best friends and all, but you better look good in my wedding pictures or you're out." maybe i'm reading too much into it from the clip, maybe they were just random people in the pole workout class or maybe they were there to have fun. i don't know. It would seem cruel to make your friends do something like that if they didn't want to share in your crash dieting wedding preparations, or if they were uncomfortable with that particular workout.

So what's the husband doing to make himself all handsome and studly for the wedding? He's not out eating, drinking, and getting lapdances, is he? His bride will be so dissappointed when she walks down the aisle and sees (gasp) the guy she fell in love with. After all she went through, all he did was put on a tux?! lol

Revolting - really and truly revolting.

For those of you getting married do yourselves a favor and pick up a book called "I Do but I Dont: Walking Down the Aisle without Losing Your Mind"
by Kamy Wicoff ". It will help you stay sane in the face of the Industrial-Wedding complex. Keep in mind that she totally fell over and she is trying to help you resist.

I'm not sure If I get the same feeling of outrage. Yeh it's dumb, but so is every other show on TV?

I get the sense that her friends were there because they wanted to look good in the bridesmaid dresses as well. At least that's what I hope. It's always easier to workout when you have friends.

I'm much more disgusted with what the show sounds like than what it actually is. At first I thought they'd be doing all plus size women. The woman in the clip doesn't have to do anything miracules to get into a 4, i suppose.

Don't get me wrong, I still hate the damn show. I work out and eat right because I like being healthy, and I'm just a little embarrassed by my love muffin. I also enjoy lifting weights so that I don't have to struggle with lifting heavy things. Bullshit like this makes it all about looking good for other people, and not yourself.

Even ignoring the many other things wrong with this show, the fact is, if you lose weight you can't control where it comes off or how your body will look after. So a dress that looks good on you currently (in your real size) may not look good two sizes smaller, even if you lose two sizes.

But there are many many larger problems.

I find this whole thing mindboggling. Why wouldn't these girls...just buy a wedding dress that fits? It doesn't make ANY sense, plannnig a wedding seems stressful enough without trying to lose 2 sizes even though you're obviously already thin.

Wow..Im speechless

I didn't think TV could get much lower

Ellestar, it's not too difficult to break out of the cookie-cutter mode, you just have to try. And since your wedding is in September, you have plenty of time.

I'm a wedding planner who focuses on non-traditional and budget weddings. If you want ideas, you are welcome to email me. My non-business email is my sn here at gmail.

I just really don't like it when brides aren't happy with their wedding, and it sounds like you aren't getting what you want. Believe me, you can, or at least more of what you want.

I've heard/read about the pole dancing exercise routines before, but it doesn't really look like that woman is breaking a sweat at all. I'm sure the workout involves a lot of stretching, but, it doesn't (well, at least what we see) looks like it will build up muscle tone, or raise her cardio rate.

Not that I'm endorsing dropping a significant amount of weight in a short period of time, but it seems there's more efficient workouts to do than spinning around a pole.

Facebook is one of the worst perpetrators of this sort of nonsense. If your status is 'engaged', the 'skinny bride' adverts come up more often than not. The website basically suggests you'll have to completely halt the wedding if you can't fit into your grandmother's vintage size six because your family will disown you and your husband will hate you. Pfft! Check my linked profile for examples of the image advertisements.

I thought her "friends" were the other "bulging brides"...there are tons of ads for this stupid show everywhere I go, so I had heard of it. Nothing shocks me anymore, though. But the guys just sitting and watching was too much even for me.

I've definitely noticed facebook adverts that were obviously there because I included "the big lebowski" among my favorite movies.

I went to the website to read more, and couldn't find anything about a fabulous prize for the bride subjecting herself to this. But there must be one--paying for part of the wedding, or the honeymoon, right? Because why would anyone put themselves through this?

Though, if a free week in Aruba were at stack, I may be able to understand the sacrificing of one's dignity...

I just found this article by Lucy Williamson, BBC News, Jakarta. Before, I knew about migrant workers being abused, but not about this method of abuse:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7347861.stm

"...It is the first time Indonesia has tried anyone on a charge of sending migrant workers to Iraq unwittingly.

"But Nur Harsono, from the organisation Migrant Care in Jakarta, sayshe has regularly presented the police with dossiers of similar cases and that there needs to be a change of attitude among officials here.

"The problem, he says, is that migrant workers are often leased out to other agencies in different parts of the world, and obtain visas to third countries while out of Indonesia..."

Oops, my last comment was for the Weekly Feminist Reader post! Sorry! That's what I get for having more than one browser window open at a time and not keeping track well enough. I'll go post it there now...

Beyond the fact that the girl definitely doesnt need to lose as much weight as she claims, the thing that really gets me is when they bring in the fiance to watch her pole-dancing. Can it be any less demeaning, is this really a weightloss show only?? It manages to add in sexual objectification and if he wasnt expecting the exotic before the wedding night, he certainly will be now. Other than that, what is the deal with women wanting to look superskinny for their wedding. Most wedding dresses have boning in the corset of the dress..let it do its work for those let confident, but in general, healthy long term maintenance of a healthy weight is all that should be apparent on this special day. Imagine what a honeymoon-zilla these women are when they are finally able to eat again!!!??

You think THIS is bad, you should see the one my roommate's company is casting right now.

I have been reading this blog for about a year, and never felt the urge to comment until now.
OH. MY. GOD. that is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. the smug look on the trainers face...
the gall of that woman trying to enjoy her party
The use of POLE dancing for exercise -- not that I have any problem with pole dancing necessarily, but it's such an obvious tacky ridiculous choice for this show... it just boggles the mind. why would you sign up for this??

Hooray for wedding porn, eh?

The part that I have problems with is when the trainer says "I'm making your lifelong dream come true" as they're walking into the pole dancing class. I mean, maybe it's taken out of context, I don't know. Not that poledancing and the women who perform are inherently bad, but his remark just rubbed me the wrong way.

Maybe you want to look your best and do something sexy for your new husband - but not on TV.

I got married with 30 pounds of baby weight and no shoes on a hill in Maryland. The family turned up with picnic food and tents. It was fabulous.

Just reading this made me upset because as a young woman (college aged) I try so hard to not let body image and physical appearance rule my world, but when television shows like this are on tv, it makes women everywhere feel like they have to do these crazy diet things to. Personally, I am sure that you're future spouse will not care one bit whether the wedding dress you are wearing is a size 5 or a size 10. Size isn't what really matters anyways!!!

Elle, I feel your pain. My wedding is in many ways not weddingy, but in other ways, more than I wanted. People are still pushing me to carry a bouquet (and I may, I'm just not sure, I like living flowers very much, dying flowers, not so much.)

I had to make the people at my wedding dress store order the dress a size larger than they were going to. They said "your waist is 29.5" and I said, no, it is that on a good day, usually it is 30-31. Plus, I have a 38 band size, so usually I have to wear a larger size so my chesticles don't look bound. I had to fight with them to order the dress in my size, 12, which happened to be the size I tried it on in!

I refuse to diet. I am eating healthier lately, because I had been stress-eating like crazy. I have switched to mostly whole foods and cut out a lot of sugar, which is making me feel better. (I swear, high fructose corn syrup counted for like a quarter of what I ate each day. blech.) But although I wouldn't mind getting back to my pre-holidays weight, I refuse to stress about it.

Down with stupid bride shows! Up with awesome parties with your friends that happen to occur on or near the day you get married, comitted to eachother, or do anything else awesome and worthy of celebration!

That video is fucking stupid and I can't be arsed to watch it.

I personally find it pathetic when brides-to-be diet for their weddings. Or wear contact lenses, or bleach their hair. On your wedding day, you won't be the woman your boyfriend/girlfriend fell in love with. S/He's basically going to marry someone else. Someone cranky, hungry and depressed. And you won't enjoy the preparations properly, nor the hen night, not even the wedding day, not even the honeymoon, because you will be too busy counting calories and holding your hunger.
You only marry once. Or twice. Or thrice, even seven or eight times. But each time should be unique and beautiful and irreplaceable, and if you eat nothing but carrots and you are too tired after twisting around a pole for ages, you won't be in your five senses to feel it. It will be like marrying half-asleep, and you won't remember it.

21stCenturyMom: Thanks a lot for the book suggestion. I'm "in plans" of getting married (not officially engaged yet), but I don't want to fall into the patriarchal/industrial whirpool.

Okay, so I just couldn't resist any longer. After finding one of the Bulging Bride's "casting calls online I just HAD to send them the following...

"I would simply love to partake in this wonderful opportunity to be a featured fatty on Bulging Brides. First let me say I just love your show and I am so glad there's a network out there like Slice championing REAL issues that women face all over the world such as nuptual obesity! This is why I am so stoked to be 25 years old and getting married in Vancouver in June, 2008! Perfect timing for your casting call, eh!? Oh and I definitely need to lose those extra lbs
in time for the big day! I think I would be great for your show because I'm highly motivated to be as skinny as possible for my wedding day because it's only like the most important thing I'll ever do EVER. I've already taken the vital step of purchasing a dress 3 sizes too small so I can really push myself to lose that GROSS extra
weight (I know I'm really lucky even to have landed a man with all this unsightly flubber) and make my wedding day truly what it's meant to be about, losing that extra flab so I can love myself again!

Anyway, thanks for the opportunity. Pictures are attached. Keep the great women's programming coming Slice!

Sincerely, A Beefy Bride-to-be in Vancouver!"

Then I attached two pictures of horridly emaciated models I found online for good measure.

I have not seen that show, but it does not surprise me. Other "rigged" tv shows were Extreme Makeover and "The Swan"?. Look at Dr. 90210. I swear the world has gone crazy when this type of crap is shown on tv.