Plus who wants to walk around with their rape (or abortion) emblazoned on a t-shirt anyway? I think it works as a poster or something, but not as a t-shirt.

I was discussing this t-shirt with my boyfriend last night. He didn't understand why women would want to "advertise" this.

I saw from the original post that the woman who created it wanted survivors to feel less alone in their experiences. Then, if someone who has just experienced sexual assault can see that another woman shares a similar experience from what she's wearing. She doesn't have to know the woman's personal story to know that she's not alone.

I also think it would be effective in showing how prevalent sexual assault is. I've known more than one person say, "If it's 1 in 4, how come I don't know anyone who has been raped?" This way, if they see a woman in one of their classes or apartment building, or an acquaintance they didn't know well, they couldn't deny that rape exists and has happened to women they know.

I don't think this t-shirt should be a uniform for those who have survived sexual assault. Women can wear it if they want, or decide they're not ready to wear it yet, or never want to wear it. Recovery is a unique road for every woman and no one should judge how people rebuild their lives after experiencing sexual assault.

My main concern is with assholes who see women wearing this shirt. There's nothing to stop them from saying something insensitive, blaming, or damaging for a survivor to hear. Society doesn't like to be reminded that sexual assault is a problem and many people will lash out at those who show that it still is. But I would expect that is for the individual women who own the shirt to decide for themselves: whether they're ready to take on the assholes of the world who would say something to them about their victimization experience.

ellestar: My main concern is with assholes who see women wearing this shirt. There's nothing to stop them from saying something insensitive, blaming, or damaging for a survivor to hear.

That was my concern too. I made it all the way to teh "Submit Order" button to buy the shirt and changed my mind. I've been reading other comments about this shirt and the theory behind it: allowing women to be free of the blame and place it on the rapist, is great, but I don't know if this shirt accomplishes this.

Other suggestions I've read for a more effective shirt are: "My rapist is in jail" or "I prosecuted my rapist." I did see a shirt yesterday online that said, "I told."

As a survivor who prosecuted and had my rapist convicted those shirts seem great to me. However, there are many women who decide not to prosecute or who prosecute and their rapist is not convicted. I wouldn't want to divide survivors into groups of those whose rapist was convicted and those whose rapist went free.

In the end, I bought a shirt that says, "This is what a SURVIVOR looks like." I can't wait to receive it. [giddy]

I think this t-shirt, like the "I had an abortion" t-shirt that Baumgardner previously designed, are at their most powerful in a specific context like a protest or performance event. I understand that she is trying to de-stigmatize women's experience in both cases, and that making these t-shirts part of everyday wear might help with that . . . but I feel like the messages they attempt to convey are awfully complex to be boiled down to a slogan, and very prone to being mis-read.

I have not been in either situation (needing an abortion or experiencing sexual assault), but just as a personal decision I would probably only wear a t-shirt like this in an act of orchestrated solidarity.

Cheeky: I guess we'll see by the shirt sales.

I think that this shirt is much more likely to be worn by smart-ass college guys on Spring Break, and anyone else who views rape (male or female) as a joke, than actual rape survivors. Therefore the end result is likely to belittle of rape rather than increase awareness of it.

A few things:
I think this shirt would work well for people attending a women's event or protest or something.

But I don't think it will be received well by the general public. I can definitely see bone-headed, sexist people reading the shirt and interpreting it as bragging. "See, rape mustn't be so bad! She even says it on her t-shirt!"

And I predict guys will buy the shirt for themselves and wear it "ironically" (groan).

I think the "This is what a SURVIVOR looks like" t-shirt is a better concept (though I do like the way this one is designed).

Best of all would be "I'm a rapist" t-shirts for the perps.

I was never raped, and I am not a woman, so this opinion is merely based on what I know about rape through academic research, society's victim-blaming mentality and the lack of voice rape survivors have.

I like this idea. I really, really like it, because Take Back the Night simply is not enough. Once a year, we have a night that is dedicated to rape survivors, and it's not enough. That nearly 30 percent of college-aged women will have been sexually assaulted by the time they graduate is something that's often lost on campus, until April comes around. This gives survivors a chance to question their own experiences about "gray" situations (no thanks to Laura Session Stepps), and perhaps acknowleged that they've been raped.

This is a conversation starter, it highlights that there is indeed a rape crisis on campuses, and that there needs to be more rape education and awareness.

Moreover, it also allows rape survivors to see they aren't alone. Often times, the support networks aren't always available, and instead, even society at large starts to ask questions about victims' roles in rape - what they were wearing, whether alcohol were involved and whether or not they acted within their gender role.

This empowers rape survivors. It allows them to speak about their experiences, and studies have shown that having a cast of support and those who believe in them are critical to survivors' recovery.

So, this is good: it highlights problems, it gives voices to victims, and it educates potential rapists on the impact they may have society at large.

Marc

I don't know. I'm torn. I'm fairly open about my sexual assault. I don't tell just anyone I meet, but I most certainly don't hide it from people I'm close to. I feel like it does define me, in a sense--surviving it has made me stronger, and I want to share that with others. I don't want to hide it because I don't feel ashamed and there is no reason for me to.

However, I'm not sure if I would wear this shirt in everyday life. As a part of a march or some kind of movement, yes, but otherwise it would give me pause. I'm perfectly comfortable wearing t-shirts about my eating disorder and subsequent recovery, but somehow that's different. I suppose because I have come to terms with that period in my life 100%, whereas my assault--which is so tied up in my ED anyway--is just too close. I think wearing the shirt would cause me to be reminded of it more often than I already am, and I already think of it daily, though it was years ago.

I disagree however, on your comment about taking the rapist out of the equation. At a certain point, at least for me, the sexual assault ceases to be about what happened to you, but how you have dealt with it since. The rapist has nothing to do with that. Someone hurting me didn't make me a stronger person. Recovering from that on my own terms did.

I guess I just worry that a t-shirt trivializes the issue... I don't know.

I think taking away the stigmatization of rape victims is obviously good but I'm just not sure that this does that.

I guess I just worry that a t-shirt makes rape seem like some trivial event...I don't know.

I think taking away the stigmatization of rape victims is obviously good but I'm just not sure that this does that.

I have mixed feelings on it. I don't think I'd wear it, as a survivor, for a few reasons. First, I JUST named what happened to me as rape...I always just called it "molested," that benign code-word for rape that happens to children that people use so they don't have to face that PEOPLE RAPE CHILDREN (/rant). I haven't fully come to terms with the term rape as it pertains to me, yet. Second, I don't think I could deal with the harrassment that would come with wearing it. I would, however, wear it to an event.

I, too, like the, This is what a SURVIVOR looks like" better. That, I'd wear.

I am a survivor of sexual assault and I don't like this shirt. I can't say exactly what, but I just don't like it. Maybe 'cause it's a reminder of something horrible that happened? But, I don't know, that's just me, maybe there's other survivors that would wear this shirt. I can see this maybe being work at a take back the night march where the atmosphere is supportive, but out in public, for me, no way. Maybe, that's saying more about the general attitude towards rape than anything. That the public is generally hostile towards rape victims. I think that this shirt would invite that hostility, but then again it could also help change this attitude. So I see the purpose here, of this shirt trying to demystify rape and bring a human face to victims. I guess it's just my personal view that I would not want to wear this shirt out in public because I feel like it would invite all that hostility. I hope there does come a time, though, when rape survivors can talk about what happened to them and not be subject to all the meanness that currently exists.

While we're on the subject, why not tattoo the foreheads of rapists with the word "rapist". Why make the victims carry this cross, when it's the rapists who should be singled out.

I think the shirt is a positive thing. Rape is such a marginalized crime; it's often a hushed word when it is brought up-oftentimes because people fear offending those who were raped. I think bringing it into public light like this makes it a more accessible subject for discussion. It's the right step towards making it ok for women to speak out about their rapes, and perhaps even lead to more convictions. Hell, if it's less a taboo subject, perhaps that might even dissuade men from forcing themselves on others if they know their crimes will be aired out in the light of day.

I don't like the design. It gives the impression of someone whispering (small print on a little card) a dirty secret from a dark, deep place (the safe).

I've never been raped, but I have been sexually harassed by a supervisor (I know, not even in the same category). Whispering the truth would not have made a difference, we had to shout to be heard.

Ok, I come to this website everyday and have never posted any comments, but I couldn’t let this one go by. I think this shirt is so completely wrong. First of all, I think the picture portrays a very negative view of not only rape survivors, but of women in general. Safes are what you are supposed to protect and guard your most valuable objects in. I’m sure Baumgardner is not intending to, but it seems to me this is just reinforcing the idea out there that a woman’s pure sexuality is what makes her valuable. The safe was broken into once when she was raped and now all that’s left there is the mark of that. There’s nothing else there, it’s totally empty. Why is that? There can’t be more to a woman other than the fact that she has survived this horrific event? It just seems to me that if they were going to make a shirt like this they could have at least made the survivor seem strong, instead of empty inside.

Second, I think this is just another way that violence against women is just going to become normalized in our society. It’s already everywhere on television and in movies, and now it’s on our clothes. I know a girl who bought a knock off of Jennifer Baumgardner’s “I had an abortion� shirt off of eBay, not because she had an abortion, but because she liked the statement. I also know a guy who made his own knock off of the shirt. Obviously he has never had an abortion either, but he is pro-choice and wears his to show people where he stands on the issue. People like these shirts with radical statements because they like the point they are trying to make. However, so many people unconnected to the true meaning wear them that they become fads and their messages become less meaningful. That could really hurt the intending meaning of the shirt, particularly in this case. Especially if it is worn by people who view rape as a joke or who use the word as a joke in daily conversation (and I know there are tons of both males and females who do so).

I can support what this shirt is trying to do in theory (sort of, ignoring that it's still a teeshirt made for sale), but here are my problems with it:

The shirt might normalize the idea of rape in the public consciousness. While this is fairly hypothetical on my part, look at what Baumgardner did with the "I had an abortion" shirt: As far as I can tell, that shirt attempted to make abortion just a little more acceptable. Could this shirt, in stating little except a passive personal experience, likewise suggest not only that talking about rape is acceptable, but that raping -- or, in the case of this passively phrased shirt, being raped -- is also acceptable? Obviously that isn't the intention here. But put enough women wearing the shirt in a group, and their shirts could gloss over and normalize their individual traumas at the hands of rapists.

Likewise, the shirt doesn't really speak out on behalf of survivors who might have been torn about the task so much as it admits something passive in a small voice. I really don't understand the idea that the shirt encourages survivors to "own" their experience, given that the graphic on the shirt emphasizes no agency on the part of the survivor but only the fact that he or she was robbed of something valuable. It likewise emphasizes no agency on the part of the rapist -- nor any indictment of him. The effect, I think, is that it makes it seem a bit like rape just happens in a vacuum.

These problems are, of course, just possibilities that I can see arising from something like this. I, too, am still uncertain of how to feel about something like this. But I really don't understand Baumgardner's reasoning behind the design of the shirt, especially her rejections of earlier designs for being "too shocking," etc. What exactly is she going for here? On some level, it seems like the shirt is trying to make rape, or at least discussion of it, palatable on a mass-market level. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I saw this on the NYTimes blog, and was really surprised at people's reactions to Baumgardner, portraying her as a self-promoter just doing this for attention -- and illegitimate as a spokesperson anyway, because she herself had not been raped.

Personally, I don't find this compelling as a concept -- why should I have someone else's images on my body or words put in my mouth, to describe my experience? -- and the design is fairly awful, as posters have already pointed out, esp. that weird picture of a safe...

I would maybe wear this en masse at a protest with fellow survivors, where it would be a collective statement of mutual support, but would never want to go through a day alone while wearing this. Since my memory of being attacked is largely blacked out at this point, my identity as a survivor is tied to my experience prosecuting in court at age 13, rather than from the abuse itself. I would want to highlight the part of my experience that was about seeking justice and recovery, rather than emphasize what happened TO me in a moment when I was helpless.

elissa:

the way i see it, the design calls out more to the fact that most victims remain silent, therefore keeping the fact that they were raped a secret, locked in a safe somewhere. this t-shirt represents the fact that they are no longer afraid to talk about it (anyway that's how i see it). i don't think the message baumgardner wants to pass is that women's sexuality should be pure, or that violence against women is ok...

As a survivor and as someone who has worked in the rape awareness/advocacy field, I am really torn about this shirt. I think the image does a good job of explaining the emotions many survivors feel when they name it. It feels like a secret, one that you have to lock away but that the act of hiding it can feel huge. The safe protecting the secret is so much bigger than the secret itself.

However, I get sick of the message that rape is something that happens to women. It happens to people because other people perpetrate. The perpetration is what should be focused on, and it rarely is.

I might see myself wearing this shirt while participating in something for work like take back the night or presentations, but I don't think I would wear it in my time off. The shirt that I like to wear is from the Louisiana Foundation Against Sexual Assault "1 in 3 you, your best friend, or me" which I think addresses the idea that someone you know has experienced sexual assault. My sister in law wears it too and she is not a survivor as far as I know.

I've never been raped either, but I have been sexually harassed, and I can't imagine wearing a shirt that said, "I've been sexually harassed." In theory, the idea is great, but in practice, I would simply never wear it; I wouldn't want to have that be the first thing strangers find out about me. I want strangers to meet me with as little preconception as possible, so that they are forced to learn who I really am rather than relying on my appearance to tell them. It would feel like I was reducing myself to one single negative experience that I was only passively involved with. It's not shame (though there is some of that - I think it's important to acknowledge every feeling that comes along with experiences like this, even if we don't accept that a person should have to feel that way) because I won't wear my "This is what a feminist looks like" shirt either for the same reasons, even though I'm incredibly proud of my feminism. It's more like I would be turning myself into something less than a wonderfully complex human being, and that is part of the problem in the first place.

if they see a woman in one of their classes or apartment building, or an acquaintance they didn't know well, they couldn't deny that rape exists and has happened to women they know.

ellestar, this is a really good point and probably what makes me most support tshirts like this. It's unapologetic and straightforward, and although we could (and will!) think about and discuss and challenge this idea to the nines, I think that, especially being a t-shirt, the first impression is what matters most.

I would expect certain people might be assholes about it, but I think most people, if they even got to the point of reading it, would just take it in. That guy across from you on the bus or the friend that just didn't want to bring it up would remember it, and whether it starts a conversation with you or not, they hopefully start a conversation with themselves - or at least that's how I see it.

To Amanda: Other suggestions I've read for a more effective shirt are: "My rapist is in jail" or "I prosecuted my rapist." - I honestly think those are much stronger statements, and really, truly put the power in the hands of the woman wearing the shirt rather than the rapist, but the issue is, like you say, what about the ones who aren't/didn't?

I didn't prosecute. I barely really told. I didn't want to go through that more than I wanted him to. That was my choice. That was my way of taking the power back for myself (or so I tell myself now) but how do you put THAT on a t-shirt?

My issue with a t-shirt that says "This is what a SURVIVOR looks like" is that most people won't know what that means. Wearing a shirt like that I'd feel more open to comments from others than the "I was raped" shirt because of curiosity, then needing an explanation. I have an easier time ignoring assholes than explaining to people who want to understand but don't.

Kate said: At a certain point, at least for me, the sexual assault ceases to be about what happened to you, but how you have dealt with it since. The rapist has nothing to do with that. Someone hurting me didn't make me a stronger person. Recovering from that on my own terms did. And I really agree with that. That's how this shirt speaks to me. I feel like this note has been locked up in the safe the whole time, and now it's finally open for everyone to see. And what an unnecessarily large safe to protect this tiny note.

In the past I've put too much effort into hiding my experience because it was embarrassing, because I was afraid of people not believing me. I would feel, well, yeah, almost proud to wear this and say "yeah, so what?" It happened TO me, not because of me, and that's okay. It is acceptable to have been raped (whereas it's not acceptable TO rape, but that part is not the survivor's fault.) I feel like it's a sign of moving forward when you can take hold of a statement like that.

I also just don't see a shirt like this making sense in an ironic way, and that's what I think makes it powerful. I can't see an asshole college guy wearing this and not being pointed out for the asshole that he is.

I am a rape survivor and I would never wear this shirt. I would rather be defined by the positivity I bring to the world, the hard work that I do, the person I am. I would not want to "brand" myself in regard to a heinous attack that happened to me over a decade ago. I've grown, I'm over it, it has nothing to do with who I am today. Been there, can do without the t-shirt.

"sort of, ignoring that it's still a teeshirt made for sale"

The proceeds from the sale would go to benefit a center that aids survivors.

The purpose of this shirt was so that survivors who would /choose/ to wear the shirt, could let people know and connect with other survivors.

It's a personal choice issue, and it's really, really important to respect individuals' choices with how they feel they can best cope with and recover from their rape.

Chances are no one will choose to wear this shirt without first thinking through possible negative consequences. But people have a right to weigh the pros and cons and make a decision, I think.

And as far as asshat college guys wearing the shirts? Yeah... could happen. But we /already/ have t-shirts poking fun of rape that they could choose to buy -so I call mostly irrelevant.

Anyway, if any of you saw the clip on CNN one of the supporters of the shirt was interviewed, and in her own words they did a craptastic job of splicing up and misrepresenting what she'd said. If you want to read how she felt about the whole thing herself go to: www.femmerotic.com and look for the "journal" section.

I am afraid that certain people are making mountains out of mole hills in regards to this shirt. It is not about advertising one's abortion or rape experience; it's about not being embarrassed to acknowledge that it happened to you.

The "I Had an Abortion" t-shirt was made to go with "Speak Out: I Had an Abortion," the documentary Jennifer made with Gillian Aldrich. Similarly, this t-shirt is with the upcoming "I Was Raped" documentary. I never thought that "I Had an Abortion" t-shirt caused a division among women who have had abortions, so I don't see that happening with rape survivors, either.

I am afraid that certain people are making mountains out of mole hills in regards to this shirt. It is not about advertising one's abortion or rape experience; it's about not being embarrassed to acknowledge that it happened to you.

The "I Had an Abortion" t-shirt was made to go with "Speak Out: I Had an Abortion," the documentary Jennifer made with Gillian Aldrich. Similarly, this t-shirt is with the upcoming "I Was Raped" documentary. I never thought that "I Had an Abortion" t-shirt caused a division among women who have had abortions, so I don't see that happening with rape survivors, either.

I don't like the safe imagery either. I get what katrinaholloway is saying, but the first thought I had was of the chastity movements and their fetishization of an intact vagina. I know that's not what was intended, but it was the first thing I saw.

I understand the impulse behind this, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. There are good thoughts on both sides. I guess in the end, it's up to each individual survivor (and let's not forget there are male rape survivors too, while we complain about the men who might wear this 'as a joke').

My main concern is with assholes who see women wearing this shirt. There's nothing to stop them from saying something insensitive, blaming, or damaging for a survivor to hear.

I'm not worried about that; assholes do that anyway, all the time, and I trust survivors to think through all the possibilities before buying and wearing this shirt. Ultimately, I think that's what it comes down to. Nobody's forcing this shirt on anybody else, there are good reasons on both sides of the issue of whether or not to wear it; I can see why some survivors would and some wouldn't.

From a design standpoint, it's so small that you'd have to go right over and stare at a woman's chest to read it, and that I do find problematic.

admittedly a lot of people have said most of what I think-nobody would force someone to wear this shirt(at least I hope not) and obviously the context in which you're wearing it is important. I do like the 1 in 3 shirt better, because I do think that people(mostly men, though obviously women as well) insulate their minds from the reality of rape because they don't want to believe that it actually happens as often as it does, to as many and as diverse of people as it does. the more that insulation can be broken down, probably the better. Is this shirt the only way to do that? oh heck no. is it the best? maybe not. is it one option, maybe the one some women choose as best for them? I'd like to think so. And as for the comment about making rape victims seem all female, my impression was that most of them are. not all, sure, but a huge majority.

deleahrium saidThat was my choice. That was my way of taking the power back for myself (or so I tell myself now) but how do you put THAT on a t-shirt?

Exactly. That was exactly my point and I completely respect that you (and many others) didn't prosecute. I will tell you, it wasn't easy. Everyone is different and I happened to have a support system that really helped me through the circus hoops of prosecution.

The "This is what a SURVIVOR looks like" shirt has a teal ribbon behind the words so those who know what that stands for will know I'm a survivor of sexual assault. And if someone asks, I can explain it the way I want to. I think that's what I like best about it.

I think-wear it if you want, don't if you don't want. If I saw someone wearing it, it would remind me of the resiliency of people, why we continue the fight, and that people are no longer remaining silent. I hope they sell it in men's sizes, too.

I definately want one. I fear the "Survivor" shirt not be as impacting, seeing as people might thing it is for cancer or some other disease. I am not putting down people who get those in lieu of this shirt, but I find this shirt empowering for myself, as a victim. Obviously, not all victims need the same things. And if any assholes wanna say anything to me, all I can is...
Bring it.

As someone who is actually one of the people Ms. Baumgardener is interviewing for the film, i must say, i think her intentions for the shirt are of good nature. Im sure I will receive one of these shirts when Im done with my interview, however, I don't think i will wear it.. but perhaps use it in another way, maybe frame it. I dont know if i would really want to deal with the assholes who will see my shirt, and give me shit for it. But for those who do choose to wear it proudly i say, more power to them!

in solidarity

As someone who is actually one of the people Ms. Baumgardener is interviewing for the film, i must say, i think her intentions for the shirt are of good nature. Im sure I will receive one of these shirts when Im done with my interview, however, I don't think i will wear it.. but perhaps use it in another way, maybe frame it. I dont know if i would really want to deal with the assholes who will see my shirt, and give me shit for it. But for those who do choose to wear it proudly i say, more power to them!

in solidarity

I first heard about this T-Shirt in a video interview clip at CNN.com. My initial reaction was shock; however, after watching the coverage and listening to the interview, I am torn. First of all, I agree with the shirt’s designer Jennifer Baumgardner in that the bold and public statement will cause people to think about the often silenced act of rape as a reality. In addition to this, the statement and shirt are so controversial that it would without a doubt spark much needed conversation and thought. In response to the actual design of the shirt, I think the symbolism of the message inside the opened safe was a creative and accurate portrayal of how many rape victims feel. As a rape survivor myself, I know that wearing this T-Shirt would have the ability to both empower me and leave me feeling vulnerable. It is all a matter of when and where I chose to wear it. As far as the general public is concerned, I do not think that this message is always appropriate. Although I feel that people need to understand the effects of rape, I do not think that, for example, any passerby should have to be exposed to it, such as children. I also feel that there is something about the shirt that makes the message seem devalued. The actual words are so powerful, but the way that they are presented on a plain white T just doesn’t seem to be enough. Most people associate short phrase graphic T’s as being comical, and I feel that this message has the possibility of coming off as humorous, contrary to what it really represents. Furthermore, I am happy to see that this is being covered in the media, because as we all know, rape is so commonly avoided in discussion. I would consider wearing this T-Shirt only in support of its message, and only in the privacy of my own house; however, if I were to see someone else wearing it in public, I would wish I had the guts to do so myself…

1. I applaud the sentiment behind the shirt's creation.

2. I have a problem with the message: The words are being whispered, written in tiny letters on a dainty card. They're not jumping out of the safe - they look to be timidly subserviant. The image just isn't confident or strong enough for me. Were the words bolder, bigger - it would be better. Asi is - it seems like a whisper, which is appropriate considering that it might be a secret. However, the image just seems disempowering.

3. Question: Is this shirt necessarily for only rape survivors? I saw it more as a statment that we should let rape out of the safe and open discussion, which would be okay for anybody to wear. OR -- am I wrong? I'm totally open on this one.