See, here's the great thing about being a premarital-sex-having middle-class feminist who earns her own money:

not only can I buy my own lingerie, but I don't have to wait until my wedding night to try it out! So what I have, essentially, is not a hope chest but a fulfilled chest.

My boyfriend and I have been living together for four years, and we're starting to talk marriage. But I have no idea what we would even ask for as wedding presents. Because after four years, we have, like, everything we could possibly need.

The only other thing we even want for our house is to set up our 55 gallon aquarium, and we'd need fish to stock it. But I don't think keeping fish in my hope chest until we get married is really the best idea. Oh, and he wants a microscope. Actually, if they would put a microscope in the hope chest for me, I would totally enter this contest. Those things are expensive.

Hey, I'll bet we have a lot of students on Feministing. I'll sign up for the creepy calendar if we can send the contents of the hope chest to a shelter. I'll even take my chances with the chest's alleged, mysterious crazy-making properties.

Cedar-lined? Cheapskates.

(The best thing of all is you don't even have to be engaged to be married to win ... that's why it's called a hope chest!)

Whereas if you are engaged, the message is... what? "If I'm gonna marry this bastard there damn well better be some material incentive in it"? I thought that was what the engagement-ring tradition was for. I suppose a sturdy box full of unmentionables has more practical value, though.

Application not valid until U.S. Hymen Code is verified in all 50 states. Some restrictions may apply; "Like a Virgin," "Half a Virgin" and "Born-again Virgin" not accepted.

I don't get it-- why would man-haters want to get married? You'd think they'd thank the man-haters for not watering down the contest.

It sounds like they're only doing it in an effort to make someone mad. That's silly.

exelizabeth, at that point I'd just start asking for fun things, like a vintage Pac Man arcade cabinet or something. That's what my brother and sister-in-law did. They didn't get any of it, people still got them dishes and such, but at least they knew what they really needed. ;)

Definitely doilies, and tea towels embroidered with images of cats and sheep baking pies...

Growing up in a fundamentalist family, my dad bought my two older sisters hope chests when they graduated high school. My dad never bought me one... I was never too torn up about it, but then again, I've been anti-marriage since I was 13.

My point-- not only do these people exist and really buy into this shit, some of us were raised by them.

Also, can we talk about the headlines? Liberal Policies: Threat or Menace? WTF? Those mean the same thing! (Hey, what does that remind me of? "Iraq War: Great war, or greatest war?") And Survey: Women LOVE a Man in Uniform, and True-Life Drama: "I Was a Liberal"? Are they kidding?!

exelizabeth, I waited until I was a grownup before I got married, too, and consequently already had a toaster and an iron and whatnot.

We deputized my brother to be in charge of the honeymoon fund, and instead of giving us gravy boats people chipped in and sent us to Italy for 2 weeks. Which kicked ass.

Who said feminists can't have hope chests? I have one and I enjoy the irony. Guys should have them, too. They're great for storage.

Am I the only person here who doesn't know what a hope chest even *is*? I gather it has something to do with lingerie?

*shrug* My mom gave me lingerie at my wedding shower, knowing I had lived with my now husband for 2 years prior. I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with hope though.

When you open the hope chest*, Ann Coulter pops out, clad only in an American flag, singing "Like a Virgin".

*Disco ball not included.

Well, Wikipedia says this, but in lots of fiction I've read that refers to hope chests, there is a clear and definite implication that the linens in question also include adult undergarments that a married lady might want but a virtuous maiden would have no need for.

Le me just say, though, that according to Wikipedia, hope chests are called "glory boxes" in the UK, and that "glory box" is the best obscene-sounding term ever. From now on, I'm going to call my vagina my "glory box."

The idea here sucks, but I want to stick up for hope chests, at least my definition of them. In my family, they're not full of any of that stuf. In Eastern KY, they're just all the family's historical and sentimental objects. And we don't get them when we marry, but when our parents get really old and decide to pass them to us. In our fam, there's nothing about marriage nights and so on. It's just a chest passed down that contains whatever was sacred to the people that had it before you. I really look forward to getting my family's chest some day. It was built by a great-great grandparent and means a lot.

But I see the issue with the other kind.

Why do you care about this? Seriously. It's a piece of furniture that you can store sheets and towels in, not a chastity belt.

Happily UN-married to my significant other for almost 8 years. We had a big not-getting-married-ever party last year after our daughter was born. Invited all our friends and family to watch us being simultaneously deleriously happy and not married.

It makes me happy that our little celebration would have made the Luce Ladies' heads explode.

leah, it's the chest where you keep the 'trousseau' (i.e. lingerie, doilies and linen) that you spend your whole pre-married life making, because marriage is your sole aim in life.

I think the idea of the hope chest was negated if you didn't make or collect the contents yourself, since part of the point was learning skills like stitchery and sewing to prepare yourself for marriage. A good trousseau was partly a sign of a woman's eligibility. "Look! Not only did her parents buy her the best quality linen, but the neatness of her sewing makes her a real catch! You won't have to buy her another dress for years, so she'll save you money too!" :p

Ugh. This just seems like yet another instance of the anti-feminist brigade not recognising just how much they rely on the progress made by feminists. A hope chest where you buy all the gear is just an empty gesture glorifying marriage over other life choices - unless they're also advocating a return to the days where marriage was a financial transaction between groom and bride's father.

Peepers, when you get your calendar can you scan it and post it somehow for the rest of us? I'm morally opposed to donating $25 to CBLPI, but I have GOT to see this! And hopefully we'll get the hope chest too...

Ha ha! That conversation killed me! Wit and cynicism are the only old-fashioned marriage I want!

I say we take back the hope chest! ("Hope" as in "Gosh, I hope the economy will improve enough in the next 15 years that my daughters will be able to move out on their own.") Here's what I'd put in for my daughters:

* Condoms.
* Surge protectors and extension cords (can't have too many!)
* A jar of quarters
* My (annotated) copies of books on feminism that I read during college
* Bricks of pu-erh tea (gets better with age!)
* BUSTED: The Citizen's Guide to Surviving Police Encounters on DVD
* A few copies of our attorney's business card
* Are there such things as pre-paid taxi cards?
* Vintage t-shirts! (Well, they will be by then.)
* Home and travel first-aid kits
* Road maps!

I'm sure I can think of more. (As a quilter/knitter/embroiderer, I probably would include a few more traditional items, like an afghan or a quilt.)

@ Tara K. That sounds like a wonderful tradition.

I actually have a hope chest - okay, to be truthful I have a hope-collection-of-cardboard boxes-stashed-somewhere-at-my-parents'-house. My childhood babysitter is an avid knitter/crocheter and whenever I go visit her now she gives me a homemade doily "for my hope chest". She's been doing it since I was a teenager. I may not be in any rush to get married, and doilies may not fit my lifestyle, but I absolutely love her for thinking of me anyway.

I think they would be happy if America could just warp back in time to the Gold Rush era with bonnets and covered wagons and log cabins.

I can't help but to wonder what kind of weirdo Handmaid's Tale shit would happen if these far-right types ever did take control of things.

When I was young (13ish), I had a friend who had a hope chest. I had no idea what they were.

She told me it was stuff that women needed after they got married.

I was confused because I figured that if I needed something when I was older, married or not, I would have a better idea of what I wanted and buy it then.

And I'm still confused. Things like linens that I would share with SO: wouldn't he get a say in what we got, too?

It's just as well. If I had a hope chest when I was a pre-teen, it would have been filled with New Kids on the Block stuff.

The scariest part of this whole page was the article titled "10 policy positions that will make him crazy".

This one sentence encaptulates everything about the antifeminists that terrify me.

The core message: women are so insignificant that even their core values and political positions should only be designed to entice and attract a suitable mate.

SoM-

I do love the idea of reclaiming the hope chest (though we may need to update the name since it has too may connotations that I wouldn't want to pass down)! I will definitely pass down feminist literature, great movies and music...come to think of it, I will have to pass along stuff to my future sons as well.

Needless to say, this whole contest is creepy. But I am curious to see what's in it and what's in the calendars!

"I don't get it-- why would man-haters want to get married?"

The first thing that occured to me when I read this was "in my state, marriage doesn't require a man."

The second thing that occured to me was "what if they accidentally pick a lesbian to win?"

"Here's what I'd put in for my daughters:

* Condoms.
* Surge protectors and extension cords (can't have too many!)
* A jar of quarters
* My (annotated) copies of books on feminism that I read during college
* Bricks of pu-erh tea (gets better with age!)
* BUSTED: The Citizen's Guide to Surviving Police Encounters on DVD
* A few copies of our attorney's business card
* Are there such things as pre-paid taxi cards?
* Vintage t-shirts! (Well, they will be by then.)
* Home and travel first-aid kits
* Road maps!"

Cool! :) It's like letting the "hope" in "hope chest" be hoping for a fun and independent adulthood instead of just hoping for housewifery.

Speaking of travel and power cords. how about a set of power outlet adapters for travel, so that she can plug in her laptop during a field trip no matter which continent?

Also, how about home and travel tool kits (my travel version has smaller screwdriver heards that are interchangeable with the same handle)?

As for road maps, a handheld GPS unit might give more coverage.

Maybe the hope chest includes some of those crotchless pantaloons.

silence-is-betrayal, if I had sons, I'd definitely do the same thing for them. I never had a hope chest growing up, but my mother did buy and refinish old trunks that she bought at junk stores for each of her children. Mine is full of old trophies and newspaper clippings, and it doubles as my nightstand.

So maybe instead of "hope chests," we could do... I dunno... "self-actualization trunks?" "Graduation trunks?" "'Isn't it about time you got your own place?' trunks?" Ooh, "independence trunks!"

Mina, those are fantastic ideas. I am definitely making up a list.

"Let me just say, though, that according to Wikipedia, hope chests are called "glory boxes" in the UK, and that "glory box" is the best obscene-sounding term ever. From now on, I'm going to call my vagina my 'glory box.'"

Well, hot damn, now I understand that Portishead song a little better.

I've never had someone try to offend me with a piece of furniture before. That's a new one. Maybe if they decoupaged pictures of Bill O'Reilly on it... but that would mostly just gross me out.

How about a "heritage chest"? I'd love to have a box full of stories and things from all of my awesome female relatives to hand down to my niece to show her how much progress women have made and how cool the women in our family are (and have been).

Although the overall idea is horrible, I find that I wouldn't mind a cedar chest of my own for storing family memories and my own linens, but this is probably because my parents had a cedar chest (note: not a hope chest) for storing their linens and blankets and therefore the scent of cedar is soothing to me.

I don't want one badly enough to sign up, however...

this just reminded me of one of my favorite lines from a movie ever (from Superwoman):

"what the box wants, the box gets!"

Hey, while we're at it, let's bring back the dowry. Cuz that's working so well for people in other countries...

Hope chests make feminists crazy? I haven't even heard of them until now, and I still don't even know what they are. That just makes me crazy!!!

My boyfriend and I have been living together for four years, and we're starting to talk marriage. But I have no idea what we would even ask for as wedding presents. Because after four years, we have, like, everything we could possibly need.

My husband and I were in the same boat. However his mom spread the word that we wanted to save for a house so most people gave us money. For the sake of some who couldn't make it to the wedding (we kept it small and moved up the date) I registered for a few things here and there that we could (like cookware and bedding)

And I must add that when I read this post I was like "What the hell is a hope chest?" LOL Trust me I started racking up lingerie LONG before we even got engaged ;)

funny story about a hope/cedar chest.

my gramma was engaged to this guy. they exchanged presents - she gave him a radio, he gave her a cedar chest - this was in the 40s. for some reason, the engagement was called off. he asked for the cedar chest back; so she told him to give up the radio. he didnt want to part with the it, so now the cedar chest is in my parents sitting room.

my gramma was a kick-ass lady.

Hmm, the only thing I'll take when I move in with my girlfriend is my pinball machine, my B&O railroad lantern, and my engines. A pinball has a 'cabinet' i suspose thats close for a lesbian union (marriage if i ever can)!

I have a "hope chest" but I'm not using it to store linens of any kind. A couple years ago I found a set of dishes that I really liked and my mom and I started purchasing pieces of it here and there, and they're all in my hope chest. They're great for storage, if nothing else, and they're very pretty too. I love the smell of cedar. If I ever have a daughter (or a son for that matter) I'll probably get her one, but explain what hope chests' purpose used to be, and that I in no way think she should use it for that purpose.

I'm curious...how do you pronounce "Luce"? Because if it's the way I'm pronouncing it in my head, then "Luce Ladies" doesn't sound like a name for people obsessed with traditional chaste women. :/

Dude, I'd love to have a cedar-lined chest. Without stuff that "any newlywed would envy" though... Not a bad idea to get one for my kids. (Gasp! Boy with a hope chest?!? Faint! Shock! Or, cunning plan to make him more eligible to women who happen to like cedar-lined chests...)

Like downside-up pointed out, the point of a hope chest was that it was full of what YOU had made for your future life as a housekeeper. Not only demonstrated your embroidery/crocheting/whatever skills, but also meant you'd have enough clean sheets and stuff when you had your own house. And then came Walmart!

You want to "reclaim" the hope chest? Work on giving children -- male and female -- the skills they'd need to fill their own. If marriage is intended to be a LIFELONG thing, which will be useful for the couple's relationship in a few years: the ability to quickly and easily repair a torn shirtsleeve, or the fact that they were virgins long ago? Maybe a virgin-when-married can repair shirtsleeves with her still-sticky duct tape or something.

(I'm not suggesting that women's only learned skills should be sewing, by any means. I find it useful and enjoyable, but I'm a lot more SATISFIED with my career as an engineer and hobby as a computer programmer. I just like being able to repair a shirt more than I do having to go to the store and buy a new one.)

Can someone make a parody video that goes, "My hope chest brings all the boys to the yard"?

That would be sweet.

I wouldn't mind a chest with linens in it! I'm living off those school loans right now, and I've got the same sheets that I did back in undergrad. But would I have to wait to open the chest until my wedding day?

Even for their ridiculousness, I still feel a bit sad that the product they've put time and effort into isn't taking off. I always feel this way when a company fails, even if I hate their product. It's often not what people are putting out that will incite my rage, but how they do it (like using fraud and the like). Strange?

EG,

"glory box". That's great. You just made me laugh out loud.