And just what exactly do they think will happen once she wakes up and finds that taped to her forehead? She's going to pull it off and feel special that he used a cute little post it instead of writing it on her forehead with a sharpie pen? Oi.

And where's the post-it for his forehead that reads "Jackass"?

To quote my mother: "Well, shit." I LOVE post-its, and now I have to add it to the ever-growing list of things I won't buy.

What I will never understand is why the average man eats this shit up with a spoon, instead of realizing that advertising execs are basically calling men a bunch of total and complete idiots without a single brain cell in their heads. But no, they think it's HI-LARIOUS.

Then again, I guess the only conclusion I can draw from a man who thinks this is funny is that he really *is* dumb as a box of rocks.

"Yes men, you are too stupid to remember something as simple as a name, but don't feel bad - we've got just the product for you!"

Retch.

Really, a scrolling LED name tag is much classier.

Of course, the ad becomes funnier if one imagines Spud's predicament in Trainspotting.

I can't be too critical, since back when I was an immature teenager, I wrote "Property of [my name]" on my girlfriend's ass with a Sharpie while she was asleep.

Are we sure this is an ad created by Post-It, or just something someone thought was funny and started forwarding around the internet?

I agree about the ad.

I don't agtee with this comment: "What I will never understand is why the average man eats this shit up with a spoon . . . ."

Oh, come on! Sure, immature frat boy-types might eat it up with a spoon, but "the average man"? Surely you don't believe that merely because some ad agency is peddling this, it represents "the average man," do you?

You mean just like "the average woman" eats up shit like women happily doing all the domestic jobs around the house? Or buying everything "pink"? Or just like "the average man" eats up all those shitty commercials where the man is a complete moron and can't get anything right wihtout help from his all-knowing, put-upon wife?

The message of this ad is insulting to both genders, and a terrible gender stereotype about males. Yes, it might be comical to some that someone could be this shallow and indecent as to not know the name of his sex partner (and that makes her -- what?), but I assure you that most men aren't sitting there secretly applauding this depravity.

mzstiletto--tim makes some good points.

also, to the extent that average men are at least "ok" with stuff like this--i think some of them may be able to overlook the fact that it's calling them idiots because they can think "some OTHER dudes are dumb, lol!" so they can sort of think "i've never forgotten a girl's name so i'm better than that, i deserve a pat on the back."

that's just a theory, so men here feel free to add your interpretations/corrections.

I received this same photo some months ago and I don't think it had the Post-It logo on it, I'm pretty sure I would have remembered that.

If anyone can find it to be the work of the company I would be interested to see that, but I think it's just some knucklekhead's Photoshop mashup.

And of course they use the generic woman name, Jane, not Kirsten or Condoleeza. Because we're all interchangeable. This is one of those ads that makes me extra glad I'm a lesbian. Seriously.

I think Romy is to blame.

Yikes.

Sorry for voicing my opinion, Tim.

Obviously, you are ASSUMING that I am basing this statement on an assumption of my own. Does it not occur to you, Tim, that I am basing this opinion on actual reactions that I observe actual men actually making? Of course not. I'm just a stupid feminist, prone to knee-jerk reactions, after all. Isn't that what *you're* implying? Why not assume that I know where I'm coming from, instad of assuming that my opinion is simply reactionary? Yes, as a mater of fact, I see it all the time - I see men reacting to ads like this one, as well as all the sexist beer ads, etc., with guffaws and statements like, "That's SO true!" and "FUCK yeah, I SO wish my girlfriend acted like that!" And these are men in their 30s, not frat boys. Hardly "secretly applauding", they are blatantly doing so. This is the kind of behaviour the article linked in the post speaks of - grown men behaving like adolescents. So, yes, on average, the so-called "men" I see and deal with on a daily basis do seem to find this shit extremely funny, and use it as an example for how to behave. I have even seen grown men trying to act out their favourite beer commercial fantasies with women in bars. They're always disappointed when the women won't play along, though...
So maybe I'm just unlucky when it comes to the class of person I seem to tend to run into, but I don't think that's a good reason to launch an attack on myself.

rileystclair - I see where you're coming from, and you are probably right in many cases. But to think that there aren't grown men out there who think this is a cool way to be, then you're just fooling yourself, because I see it every single day.

Hence my statement.

Perhaps not "average," but there are certainly enough men who do to be worrisome. As to why some me act like idiots and are OK with this type of ads--it's so easy to be stupid.

"I'm too dumb to do dishes; I might break them all. I'm too dumb to do laundry; I'm going to waste the detergent and make a huge mess. I'm too dumb to take care of a baby; I might diaper its head. I'd better go watch sports/play video games/drink a beer instead, so I don't hurt anyone."

This is from personal experience; stupidity was one of my biggest tricks for getting out of housework as a kid, and I see my as-of-late-reverted-to-the-mental-capacity-of-a-3-year-old S.O. do this all the time. And after cleaning up enough messes, it seems easier to let them go and play. (Not that I do; I guess I'm just a "bitch" that way.)

I'd like to revise this: "Perhaps not "average," but there are certainly enough men...." I should have said "people," not "men." I've seen enough women do the same sort of crap over changing a lightbulb, or picking up a spider, or checking a car's oil. C'mon, people, we're all quick-witted enough to figure out routine tasks, no matter what the gender stereotype attached! Quit playing stupid to get out of work.

Damn, that ad is insulting and degrading. To all humanity, regardless of gender. But I feel that way about advertising most of the time...*sigh*

Personally, I like to think the "average" man, if there is such a thing, would at least be mildly insulted by this particular advertisement. But maye that's just my boundless optimism talking.

I have to say, Mz.Stilletto, that if you had meant "many of the men I know and associate with," you probably should have said that, rather than a catch-all like "the average man." But personally, I kinda dislike talking about the "average" anything. That kind of thinking tends to be, well, divisive. IMO. *shrug*

-Nick

Frumpiefox,

You're totally right. Humanity likes to default to the "I'm too dumb to do this," instead of the more honest "I'm too lazy, and I know I can make you if I don't."

I had a housemate in college who, when it was his turn to wash the dishes, would inevitably leave them still greasy and disgusting when he was through. Eventually we just started washing them for him. Funny how that works.

-Nick

rileystclair: also, to the extent that average men are at least "ok" with stuff like this--i think some of them may be able to overlook the fact that it's calling them idiots because they can think "some OTHER dudes are dumb, lol!" so they can sort of think "i've never forgotten a girl's name so i'm better than that, i deserve a pat on the back."

That's close to the way I took the ad. I found it a humorous hyperbole of a flaw that is common in men (poor/selective memory). It's funny because in a way it IS true while also being ridiculous, and many guys (and girls) can relate to it.

Mz.Stilletto: But to think that there aren't grown men out there who think this is a cool way to be...

And whats wrong with highlighting how ridiculous they seem to the rest of us.

cheekykitten: And of course they use the generic woman name, Jane, not Kirsten or Condoleeza. Because we're all interchangeable.

I read it as saying that men who behave that way are little more than vine swinging brutes.

This is one of those ads that makes me extra glad I'm a lesbian.

There are plenty of women who behave the same way.

Well, Nick, IMO the phrase "many of the men I know and associate with" is synonymous with "average", probably because I have a very low opinion of the "lowest common denominator" type of person, and they seem to be EVERYWHERE. (YES, both women AND men.) What you & the other male seem to be missing is that if I consider that type of man to be "average", then doesn't that make you & others like you "above average"? Shouldn't you be taking that as a compliment? Not that you should even give much of a crap about what I have to say... Not trying to make it sound like my opinion is the end-all be-all.

I was not referring to ALL men, as implied by Tim, but "average", which is obviously not the entire male populace of the planet. There are many men whom I would consider "above average" (I happen to be married to one); unfortunately, the ones who cannot seem to think for themselves seem to be the standard these days, and there seems to be a whole helluva lot more of them than anyone I would consider "above average". If the scales are ever tipped in favour of thinking, feeling, intelligent humans as far as their numbers go, then THEY would become the norm and therefore "average" to me. And what a happy day that would be... Alas, I am still surrounded by morons who generally think that disrespect=funny, so I'm not holding my breath.

This is one of those ads that makes me extra glad I'm a lesbian.

There are plenty of women who behave the same way.

Yes, but I still think you know what I mean. There is something very different about a lesbian player who doesn't learn the names of the women she sleeps with. She hasn't spent the last several millenia banishing her sex partners to roles of baby factory and fuck vessel, and her attitudes toward sex with them isn't disseminated in media imagery and in every damn thing that comes out of every Chris Matthews-esque asshole's mouth on television. See where the difference is?

And I am. Very.

This is one of those ads that makes me extra glad I'm a lesbian. Seriously.

Post-it notes makes a sexist advertisement, therefore all men are undateable brutes? Ohhh-kay.

cheekykitten: There is something very different about a lesbian player who doesn't learn the names of the women she sleeps with. She hasn't spent the last several millenia banishing her sex partners to roles of baby factory and fuck vessel

That's funny, I don't know any male players who have been alive for the last several millenia. I guess you mean that all males alive today are guilty for the sins of their ancestors. It all makes sense now! You know, if you'd be interested, I know some of Christian groups who believe in Original Sin (and in thousand-year lifespans)...I can give you phone numbers and everything.

Are there absolutely no women in charge of the post-it corporation that objected to this commercial/ad? I know I would find it deeply offensive. I would have found it offensive if it was on the guy's head and said Joe. People need to grow up.

Did I even SAY that? When I say this ad makes me glad I'm a lesbian, I mean (and it seems pretty obvious what I mean) that it means I don't have to deal with people like the guy in the ad. And that makes me really happy, because there are about a zillion of that guy running around out there. I know. I dated them before I was gay. And the whole time I've been dating women, I've never once felt that piece-of-anonymous meat feeling that I used to feel. Yes, lesbian players are out there, but I believe I've covered that point already.

I'm less concerned about preening my own ego than I am about reenforcing stereotypings upon entire genders. *shrug*

Just because female stereotyping is inherently more damaging, due to the power imbalance in our society, doesn't mean male stereotyping is harmless.

I normally never go anymore, but it seemed necessary in this thread.

She hasn't spent the last several millenia banishing her sex partners to roles of baby factory and fuck vessel

Neither have I. Or that imaginary guy in the photo, for that matter. He can't have been at it for more than a decade or so, from the looks of him. Unless we're talking about Methuselah here.

The real enemy here is the *patriarchy*. Not a random group of people selected based on a chance occurence at conception. I just kinda like to see us focused on that.

her attitudes toward sex with them isn't disseminated in media imagery and in every damn thing that comes out of every Chris Matthews-esque asshole's mouth on television.

And there's the patriarchy. Let's hate on it. Not men. Hating on men does not make friends and allies.

-Nick

I don't know any male players who have been alive for the last several millenia.

Seriously. That's the best response you can come up with? Don't pretend that the image of the male player isn't glorified in our culture and hasn't been condoned for centuries, and don't pretend that the double standard that says women are whores if they behave the same way doesn't exist. And why are you so threatened by the idea of a woman feeling no sexual or emotional need for a male partner? What is that about?

Okay, back on topic...is this a real advertisment?

I mean, the more I look at it, the more it seems like a photoshop job. I just can't believe an *office supply company* would advertise in such a non-businesslike fashion.

-Nick

No one here is saying they hate men. Not men as a whole, not every single man. Just the guys who act like that.

Cheekykitten,

My apologies. It seems, as often happens on the internet, that there was some miscommunication.

Your original, brief post, was very easy to misread as "men are such pigs. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with them." You didn't actually say that, mind you, but it was vague enough to be taken in a variety of ways, of which that was one.

Really, though, as your later posts have clarified, you were actually saying "the patriarchy, and its historical influence upon our development, causes our society to accept, condones, and even encourage men to be pigs. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that dynamic."

With that, I can 100% relate...I wish *I* didn't have to deal with it, and I'm on the theoretically favorable side.

-Nick

I decided to ask my husband for his perspective on this. He thought overall the ad was dumb, but figured that she was a "new girlfriend" and didn't quite have a handle on her name.

Of course, that prompted a rather entertaining discussion in which I wondered if he knew my name when we first started dating.

The answer: "Probably not in the morning."

Someone clearly suffers from foot in mouth disease and just brought out old issues (like looking me dead in the eyes and telling me that an ex is cute).

So apparently even supposedly sane men have this problem. Yeah.

I sent an email to 3M and asked if the ad was real or not. Maybe if more people wrote in, they would address it.

OKay, confession time. Back in the dorm I had one of those new Dymo Labelers (the digital kind) for labeling all my stuff. My boyfriend at the time turned it on and saw my name on the screen, so he printed it out and stuck it on my forehead. (But cute-like.) We were joking around about that, and it ended up with us putting labels on the ceiling above our respective sides of the bed that read:
(HER NAME IS ANNA)
(HIS NAME IS LEIGH)
It was particularly funny since we're both near-sighted and couldn't read them even though the ceiling was about 3 feet away. (the bed was 4ft off the ground with drawers under it. I had to buy a step-stool because I was tired of having to take a running leap to get into bed - total discrimination against short people, but whatever.)
My point is, it would totally be salvageable if they put one on his forehead, too. Sorry, I ramble.

Nick: causes our society to accept, condones, and even encourage men to be pigs

As much as I can see that this attitude exists, I think its wrong to suggest its part of society rather than a subculture. From my experience the vast majority of people from working class poor through to professionals on both sides of the gender divide take a very dim view of this type of behavior. "Sleeze", "Womaniser", etc are all negative terms used to refer to these types of guys.

cheekykitten: And I am. Very.

Well at least it seems you're past that denial stage.

BADNFLUENCE SAYS:
Post-it notes makes a sexist advertisement, therefore all men are undateable brutes? Ohhh-kay.

Although I generally don't like the "This makes me wish I were a lesbian" sentiment, it's not implying that all men are undateable pigs, but rather, that these sorts of attitude are surprisingly prevelant, and one never knows which man carries them. That nice, charming guy at the party could be a wonderful boyfriend, or he could be the kind of pig who finds "jokes" like this (and tacky beer ads and such) hilarious.

Tim and everyone. Normal male humans really do believe this stuff, at least until they are 25. I teach gender stuff in college, and I often leave classes suicidal because of what is considered normal. Young men in the United States do not think women are human. Period. I weep for my the young women in my university and I often have dangerous violent thoughts about the young men who feel fine spewing hatred.

If this is not indicative of the average male's view of women, then why are those of us that are women routinely subjected to hostile, objectifying views of women? And then told we are humorless or bitchy when we disagree?

At work, at clubs, at school, at the doctor, when we have our car window rolled down, when we have our TV on, when we have the radio on, when we am online, when we are shopping, when we are at the gym.

Everywhere.

I was watching a dating show the other night on TV, and I know the show isn't meant to be highbrow, but as soon as the woman got into the taxi after they said their greetings, the man looks at her and says, "I hate woman. I can't stand a single one. I can't stand to be around them," chuckles, and looks to his date for a response. She sits for a second, then titters nervously.
I've heard that before in social situations. How am I, as a WOMAN, supposed to respond to that? I can either 'let it slide' for the thousandth time because I don't want a confrontation, or I can confront the guy, and risk probably being degraded, possible violence.
It's pervasive. I do not by all means hate men. I hate hegemonic masculinity.

I find it fascinating how everytime there is an ad that reinforces female stereotypes (too emotional, likes shopping, finds absolute delight in cleaning and washing etc), a lot of posters will protest against such stereotypes, declaring that most women are not like that and how women don't have a Hive Vagina. And of course, all the anecdotal evidence that clearly points out that women aren't like that at all.

And then when it comes to ads that reinforce male stereotypes (misogynistic, treats women as sexual objects, completely incompetent and irresponsible, slacker, etc), it of course, must definitely be true! Why, almost all men are like that, (and 'average' qualifies as almost all, due to the nature of being "average"). Then of course comes the anecdotal evidence that reinforces these stereotypes and proves that yes, males definitely behave like this due to my experience.

In a way, it kind of makes me glad that I'm not an American male. But even so, it doesn't matter where I go in the world, the stereotypes will always be there. As a man, I'm obviously a slave to my dick, incompetent and irresponsible, a slacker, boorish, sexist, aggressive, buys big cars to overcompensate for small accoutrements, a worse companion than a dog, etc. And that's only what you see in one of those emails that everyone passes along in the office.

Definitely, women have their own stereotypes that they must battle against. I guess I would just be happier that instead of both parties protesting against their own sex's stereotypes while agreeing with the stereotypes of the other sex, both parties can fight against these unfair and malicious stereotypes that propogates due to the media and culture. Of course, it is not easy, but I think the easiest way is to start with one's self, and choosing not to judge a majority of the other sex based on these laughable stereotypes.

I'm still, (every time it gets mentioned) rather curious about this whole "man-boy that needs to grow up" complaint many feminists throw out.

When it comes right down to it, it's none of your business how a man chooses to live his life.

Just as you expect men to respect your choices and ways you wish to live your life, it's not up to you to tell a man that he needs to grow up/stop playing video games/get a better job/whatever.

It's sexist as hell to attack men for the ways they live their lives, while demanding no one tell you how to live yours.

Besides all that, what's your solution for "men growing up to be men", instead? "Men growing up to do what I want them to"?

88mph -

Actually, I'm not adverse to my partner playing video games all night after work - well, as long as we've got time for lovings. And as for the "better job", as long as he's not sponging off me for his Warcraft account, I don't care if he works minimum wage at Chapters (although if we're living together and he doesn't help make rent because he's spending it on video games, then Houston, we've got a problem).

However, I do take offense at the idea of being an interchangeable vagina, whose identity he can't keep straight unless he sticks a Post-It note on my forehead. It seems that the whole Man-Boy trend isn't about Warcraft accounts or video games or a second X-Box, but rather that the women in these "Men-Boys" lives are less like people and more like accessories that can be used and discarded when they are no longer "fun". Caring about someone else's feelings isn't always a walk in the park but that's what "responsible adults" do, and the antithesis of this is what this trend seems to celebrate.

88mph -

Oh, and incidentally, these ads, this entire Man-Boy sub-culture (Meta-culture? Pseudo-culture?), is ALSO telling men how they should live their live