Well, I just looked at the info. I'm either at work, or I have a performance of my own to attend, so I cannot go. Perhaps next time.

And yes, it will be very cold--fifteen below, not counting wind chill. Dress warmly!

cute article. In my family my dad sorta took on a single parent role in taking care of our dog. My mom has allergy issues and can't spend to much time near him. My dad has always walked, fed, and disciplined our dog (though my mom was actually the one who painstakingly went with Baxter too and from obedience school every sunday, she didn't much like the chewing and peeing on the carpet.) I helped out whenever I could, but I had school plus a million extracurriculars which kept me out of the house from 8 in the morning to 9 at night. I was really more like a sibling to him. I played with him, and took him for walks sometimes and gave him treats. It's funny how a dog really does become another child in the family. Now we have an 8 month old foxhound who is a little brat in every sense of the word (but she's just so cute!). Baxter now has to deal with not being the only furry guy that we love, the jealousy is pretty evident.

Jessica, put down the doggie shaped sweater. Back away from the doggie sweater. Don't do it, don't become that dog owner.

Dog "clothes" are for those little, helpless dodos who can't generate enough body heat for themselves so they need the extra padding. Monty's a big dog, with his own big boy fur, don't shame him around the other dogs by dragging him out in a sweater you do doubt picked for him. It's the same as when you'd do it for a child. All the other dogs will laugh and snicker and you don't want to give him a complex, right? ;)

PS: Minnesota is cold.

Cold and beautiful. I miss it! Minnesota pro-choicers are the bomb. Enjoy hanging with them! I wish I could be there!

see, that pesky "tickin'" isn't all in a gal's head. I certainly felt it like nothing else.

Alas, I'm feeling it again, since we lost our ancient ferret, and with a not quite 2 year old human kid, a hundred pound dog and 2 cats, I'm not sure where to go with my "baby" feelings. I want another dog. Or cat. Or kid. I can't decide which would be the least tiresome for my partner and I!

And bye the bye, babies are 50% easier than puppies. I promise. I will never do a puppy again, but a baby I'll do.

Heads up to Seattle-area folks: NARAL Pro-Choice Washington is putting on a great event called Chocolate for Choice, check it out!

http://www.prochoicewashington.org/events/choco4choice.shtml

Jessica, it snowed here in Williston, South Carolina yesterday. That deflated my big fat ego, meaning that I won't pick on Minnesota about its cold weather.

And about Monty, I'm hoping that he won't bite.

I think there is definitely a ticking clock to take care of something and be responsible for another's life. For me that is my cat. No desire to actually reproduce. So suck on that patriarchy, I get plenty fulfillment (if not more so) taking care of a cat, dog, or chinchilla (I want one) than a kid. I was a nanny at one point so I kinda know what it's like.

There is nothing like fuzzy, unconditional love. And animals are somewhat self-reliant in the sense I can't leave a kid in the house all day while at work.

That's my neck of the woods. But even though I work ON the U of M campus, I don't know if I'll be able to sneak away to see your reading tomorrow. Maybe! Let's hope!

That article was way too cute. And we already know that Monty has been tortured with the doggie sweaters. There's proof! And another great thing about canine starter babies, you can stick them in a cage for a couple hours and nobody complains!

my uber-conservative religious inlaws (seriously, when we got married they gave us a book by Dobson as a gift) live in MN unfortunately cool shit like this is never going on when I'm up there.
Last time we visited I couldn't even get away to visit the feminist bookstore I read about on this site cause it snowed so much..instead we went to church 3 times in less than 48 hours

ps: totally get the puppy love. We have two dogs and they are our babies...that we can leave home alone and lock out of the room when we want to have sex...i hear those things are considered appropriate to do when you have small children

I am so glad that you posted that you are in MN. Since I go to college in Wisconsin I don't hear about what is going on at the U of M, but I am home in MN for break and I hope I can make it to the U tomarrow to hear you read. Have a great time in MN and it is super cold here I don't even want to go outside.

I don't relate to the article, but that's just me. My desire to have pets has nothing to do with wanting to take care of something and everything to do with the unconditional companionship that they give. I just don't have a parental side, which explains why I don't want children. I can't see my kittens as my "babies" - I love them and dote on them, but only seeing them as objects to take care of? Kinda makes me puke a little.

Picked up the last copy in the bookstore on campus and double checked the room number.
Can't wait!

Oh, and it's not that cold. No, seriously.

Welcome to Minnesota, Jessica!

As a former Jersey girl going to college out here, I'd caution you:

1) Don't be alarmed when people stop for you at intersections. It's normal.
2) Or when strangers say "hello."
3) They call that sack-type thing a "bayg."
4) You'll need a hat/gloves/scarf to walk half a block.

I'm at Carleton and we have classes tomorrow, so our pro-choice club and feminist club won't be able to make it... up for a 45-minute detour?

Good luck and enjoy the brrrisk weather.

"Dog "clothes" are for those little, helpless dodos who can't generate enough body heat for themselves so they need the extra padding."

EXCUSE ME. My dog is in no way a "helpless dodo" because she is small with a high metabolism. Long skinny legs and a short coat do not a dodo make. She is a fierce, feisty little thing. I'm pretty sure she's smarter than most people (definitely the people who called Animal Control to get her mom mere hours after she gave birth to my girl and another puppy. She's also smart enough not to make generalizations based on the size of a dog.) I am so fucking sick and tired of people making these types of comments about small dogs. Learn about breeds before making these kinds of statements. Start with Miniature Pinscher and then talk about little dogs. I think the only dodos out there are the people who judge dogs based on size.

Goddamn.

Holy schnikeys! Did people just see Chris Matthews apology on Hardball?

Wow, I can't believe the way the people on that site jumped on you for that article! They're all hollering "having a dog is NOTHING like having a baby!!! How DARE you think it's the same???!!!" While I'm thinking, "um, wasn't that kind of her point? That she gets to nurture something that is, in fact, far easier than having a child?" People need to just calm down already.

That said, I do think having a dog prepares you for children in one way: you get used to cleaning up disgusting things that come out of one end of the body or another.

Patriarchal construction? Blah. Changed mind or not, its insulting and condescending to dismiss a feeling expressed by many women in this way. (Is it any different than dismissing women who do NOT hear the tick-tock as man-hating feminazis?) Also, enough about Monty already.

Patriarchal construction? Blah. Changed mind or not, its insulting and condescending to dismiss a feeling expressed by many women in this way. (Is it any different than dismissing women who do NOT hear the tick-tock as man-hating feminazis?) Also, enough about Monty already.

what grumps.
I have found having a dog to be wonderful and fulfilling in its own right. And, I have learned lots of skills, and lots of things about myself and my partner, that will come in handy when we have children- which we are excited to do. To learn that the wonderful but somewhat irresponsible person I fell in love with at university is not only capable but willing to get up at 4am to let the crying puppy out when we were housetraining? Priceless. Negotiating what training things mattered to each of us? Really useful. Having the awareness that I can take care of something else unconditionally and passionately and with lots of love? Great.
Couldn't agree with you more Jessica.

I had no idea you were coming to the U. I live in Minneapolis too and wish I could come! I'm going out of town tomorrow. :(

Loved the article about Monty...my puppy Mario is my starter baby, and oddly enough, even though my fiance and I would call ourselves feminists, we too have fallen into the same gender roles in Mar's care. It's interesting for sure.

Have a great time in Minneapolis! Stop by the Women's Studies department, it's housed in Ford Hall right across the street from the bookstore/union on campus :) Stay warm!

My boyfriend and I have a "starter kitten." Though, I thought of it as more of a commitment thing. "I am willing to share an apartment and a small animal with you." :) He definitely is the disciplinarian, but that's because he squirts them with a water bottle when they do something bad, and I prefer the "make a loud noise in cat's direction." approach. My little bob-tailed kitty came potty trained though, so, a lot easier than a dog. Though, she is very needy and wants to be in whatever room you are, which can make the bathroom awkward.

Hey, I'm here in MN, will be unable to attend, but loved the article!!! As for the cold...this is the first year since I moved here that folks are saying is a "normal" winter. Finally!!! Be prepared for your nose hairs to freeze.

Loved the article, Jessica! I have several of professional female friends, all of whom (and I) are dog "mommies" and none of us has any human kids yet. You're spot-on about babying them. I know it can seem a little bit ridiculous to the unintiated, but dogs give so much love and adoration and expect nothing in return -- it's impossible not to love them back.

And, I am not ashamed to admit that my 20-lb mutt, Cujo, has a lime green sweater as well as a gray wifebeater that says "Beware of Bad Ass." To the extent there's anything biological about wanting kids or whatever, I think this is how it's manifesting itself in me (and there's nothing wrong with that)!

I am so fucking sick and tired of people making these types of comments about small dogs. Learn about breeds before making these kinds of statements. Start with Miniature Pinscher and then talk about little dogs. I think the only dodos out there are the people who judge dogs based on size.

Goddamn.

Well fuck me. Liza, did you read my entire post or did you fly off the handle before you got that far? I had no idea that some people were so sensitive they couldn't read an entire quote that's OBVIOUSLY made in jest (dogs getting picked on in parks? "big boy fur?") that they'd just go nuts.

I called small dogs fucking DODO for christ's sake, who the hell uses that word? I didn't say they were worthless, should put down or not exist. There are small dog breeds that ARE mostly helpless. Despite that, it's quite apparently I'm JOKING so don't be so sensitive.

Man, who would have thought this thread would make people all riled up.

That said: I do not have dogs because I ONLY want to take care of them. I have dogs because I love dogs. I love their behaviors, i love the affection the show you, I love the personality they develop and I love having animals in the house. I feel it makes a house less lonely.

No one here says they have a dog cause they just want to take care of something so please let's not start reading things into people posts and then making comments like
"It makes me want to puke"

I'm one of those crazy girls who loves small fuzzy critters and I have the most amazing Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and I won't lie I paid a few hundred dollars just for a burberry collar for him!

Anyways, the only problem I have with the article is the idea that pets are starter babies. Many of us have pets to have pets, and have pets INSTEAD of having children. Individuals who choose not to have children but love their pets in much the same way they would love and care for a child are often ridiculed that their beloved pets are only starter children and shouldn't dare be considered replacements in the way they choose to live :(

Welcome to Minneapolis! I had no idea that was going on and sad I couldn't make it. That being said, if you're going to be in town for a couple of days, the Frida Kahlo exhibit is wrapping up this weekend at the Walker Art Center and you should check it out! It's truly amazing. The next stop on the tour is Philadelphia, so if you can't make it while you're here...

Heh, my car is in the shop and I've had to take the bus for the last couple of days. A very tiny part of me is thinking "Global warming be damned, I want my cozy, warm pollution maker back right now!"

No, I read the whole thing. I'm just sick and fucking tired of stigmas against small dogs and things associated with them (read: dog coats/sweaters). I had to deal with snarky comments every day when I walked my Zelda in Savannah, and I'd have thought a site where people are supposed to be generally open-minded wouldn't leave room for judgments.

Nothing sounds like a joke in type. Especially when it's something that's been said in complete sincerity to my face.

The only helpless dogs are that way because their owners made them so. Well, sometimes it has to do with breeding (inbreeding is a HUGE problem with "purebred" dogs at puppy mills and through backyard breeders), but I'd say at least 90% of the time it's the owner's doing. It can be done to any dog of any size by over pampering and mollycoddling. Any size. But because of prejudices and stigmas, people recognize it as such in small dogs and joke it away in big ones.

Kind of like if you see a fat girl eating ice cream and think "she should NOT be eating that" then see a skinny girl eating the same thing and think "wow, she's so lucky she can eat that and stay that thin." It's bad for both of them, but it's only recognized as such in one of them. And I can use that analogy because I'm fat and have heard it personally.

So maybe I'm sensitive. But at least it's based on something real, on personal experience, things I've dealt with in my own life.

Shoot, you're in my hood? Should have called for a Minneapolis-Feministing Social! Half-price whiskey night at Psycho Suzi's + feminists = awesome.

(Also, I know I have a big mouth. I like to think it's good for my future as a writer. Minimal filter, no apologies. But it did get me kicked out of the New York Miniature Pinscher Meet-Up Group. I had an opinion, apparently that meant I was "disrupting the group." I'm actually kind of proud of that.)

Thanks folks. It's funny, the commenters at Babble are fucking brutal and seem to think I'm some airhead hipster druggie who is using Monty as a way to feel relevant. Or something. It's so interesting to write something out of my feminist comfort zone and see how people take it. Very odd indeed.

LOVED the article, Jessica!

it was awesome...some of us wish we could have starter babies...hahaha...maybe we would be less critical of ourselves by the time we are actual parents...

personally, i enjoyed reading you outside of your "comfort zone".

thanks for sharing!

and i know you must get a million annoying dog questions a day...

do mini australian shepherds shed a lot?

Christ, they are brutal. If that's what having kids does to you, remind me to stick my junk in the microwave.

Don't pay attention to the brats on Babble, Jessica. They sound like a bitter, unhappy lot. Seriously, to be able to take a fun, silly article about dog-rearing and turn it into an attack on your values and everything that is good and right about the world takes some SERIOUS victimization talent. And to think these people are raising the next generation of Americans...

Hey macfrugal, I want to do that! At least next time there are Feministing parties on the coast, can we do it?

What kind of community is Babble anyway? I've never heard of it before. Is it a liberal parenting community? A general parenting community? A feminist parenting community?

Another MN gal here! Unfortunately I can't make it either due to previous plans! Ahhhh! Wish I had known...Oh well.

Anyway, word of advice, be prepared that tomorrow is going to be even colder. Just bring the hat, gloves and scarf everywhere with you! And if you have time, explore a little - even check out St. Paul if you're willing!

1) Don't be alarmed when people stop for you at intersections. It's normal.

Wow, they do that out in Northfield? Here in Minneapolis they sure don't. You've got to make sure they don't mow you down.

WOW! I *just* read this post today and am SO HAPPY to hear that you are in MN, let alone the U of MN!

I am totally going to be there, and I'm picking up a book on my way, too!

Welcome to Minneapolis! (Don't forget to check out St. Paul while you're here, too!)

lawfairy said: Seriously, to be able to take a fun, silly article about dog-rearing and turn it into an attack on your values and everything that is good and right about the world takes some SERIOUS victimization talent.

Seriously. No joke. I think the problem is (and I said it over there) that there is this idea that being a parent is some super, awesome, amazing gift that only a chosen few with the RIGHT attitudes, preparation, and seriousness towards the situation can fully appreciate. It's this absolute conceit that being a parent equates to being responsible, god-like even, and that there's nothing to JOKE about. You should see the way the parents (mostly moms) crucify each other over at some of those sites (babycenter is the WORST in the posts). And what's pathetic about it is that it's all a marketing ploy- the increased "specialness" of being the perfect parent is a marketing trick to get people to buy videos, puzzles, games, clothes, toys, books, etc. We've been taught somewhere that parents are responsible for every success and failure their children experience, and that if we aren't diligent and perfect, they will not have the best opportunities, and while most of it is done out of concern and care, a lot of it is done out of the desire to top other parents, to "win" at the parenting "game." And equating a dog to a starter baby diminishes that achievement, and sets the mouths a-foaming.