Thank goodness I turned off the Today Show before I saw *this* gem of a story.

Just curious, if you don't get married or have children - do you *have to* be obsessed with your career? I must have missed the memo.

Hoo yeah, I saw this. A while ago! I love the straight faces those women have while they verbally assault some of their own as "fembots". I don't even know if that hater-ass word could ever even come out of my mouth.

This reminds me a bit of the people who are constantly asking me, "When ae you going to have a baby? A baby will change your life! You NEED to have a baby!!" And I get SO upset with those people... Most of the time I tell them that I am far too selfish to have children, and that I would be a terrible mother because of this, and that I really like my free time and disposable income, etc. etc. Even when I was a child I knew I didn't ever want to be a mom. So now, when some of those people start getting really obnoxious about it, I tell them that when they say, "You need to have a baby", they might as well replace the word "baby" with the word "cancer", and that would give an indication of how I felt about the subject!! (Not to say I'm making fun of people with cancer or anything like that, so please don't take it the wrong way.)

Anyhoo, I now refer to those people as "breeders". ;) I don't have anything against people who have babies, want babies, or want to raise a family in the traditional sense - more power to you! But if someone is going to start harassing *me* and insinuating that my life is incomplete unless I procreate, I'm perfectly prepared to get quite nasty about it!

And Q, you've got it right. I am far from being obsessed with my job - I wouldn't even call it a career, it's really just a paycheque.

Fembots my ass!!

P.S. I do have a family of sorts - I have 9 cats, so I am well on my way to being the "crazy cat lady" (I've been referred to as such more than once) but I don't mind that nearly as much as being told that I need to start spitting out babies! But the whole "crazy cat lady" thing is a whole different can of worms to be opened some other time!

Mz. - I'm a cat lady too! And my mom is a dog lady.
My family has come to terms with the fact that I don't want children. Neither my partner nor I actually even like children, so it wouldn't seem fair for us to bring a child into the world if we weren't completely committed to being parents. It has nothing to do with my job. My job pays my bills so I can come home and do the things that I like to do. If that makes me some kind of robot, then beep beep bloop bloop.

I'm pretty sure there was already a definition for "fembot," and that ain't it.

Sooo...fembot=career driven woman=cupcake hater on her birthday? WTF? This was IMO, a hastily thrown together segment with no organization or factual merit. And now there's a new sexist, ignorant term out there to combat. *Sigh*

Right, so the "psychiatrist" has been reading too many popsci books. Women are not "hardwired" to be nurturers; this has in no way been proven. Also, animals can't connect emotionally? WTF? Yes they can. Has she ever had a dog? Or read about Harlow's famous Baby Monkey Love experiments? Did this woman even take Psych101?

Also, being disconnected from everyone and self-centered is a problem, but not exclusively an issue for women or in any way related to not wanting children and making your career a priority. Why was there no discussion of men who don't want children or concentrate only on their careers? Manbots, if you will. Oh wait, I'm sorry, that's they're supposed to do. Because they're not "hardwired" to give a shit about other people, so it's not a problem. Silly me. I should really get back nurturing...my plants or something.

Well, you know what? I am committed to my career. I have made a career out of one of my passions and I adore it. I have spent 8 years of my life in training for my career. Why should I--or anybody else who is fortunate enough to earn a living by doing something they love--be castigated for that? My mother remembers when calling a woman "ambitious" was an insult, and she constantly marvels at how open my friends and I are about our career goals, and how blunt we are about pursuing them. And she's thrilled.

"Where were all these smart, ambitious women when I was young?" she once asked me. "When I was young, women just didn't talk the way you and your friends do. It brings tears of joy to my eyes to hear you."

And I am great with kids. I feel just as driven to become a mother. And while my children may not have a SAHM like I did, they'll never have to bear the pressure that so many children of 1950s housewives did; they'll never have to hear "don't you know what I gave up for you?"; they'll never have to feel that they are solely responsible for my emotional well-being and fulfillment; they'll never come home to a mother drugging herself with valium out of sheer frustration. (Let me add that none of these things happened to me or my mom, thank goodness.)

If that makes me a robot, then being a robot sure beats the hell out of completely submerging my own identity.

I do love how they try to make "fembot" into a kind of positive term, saying it's just when you don't care about if your girlfriend is having her period (really, who the fuck actually does?) but it implies that you are in fact NOT HUMAN.

And Irene beat me to it but here's where "what about the MENZ!!!" should come into play, if men put off children and marriage that's a-okay, but when women do it we're regarded as defective. Go figure.

I love all this talk about how women are "hardwired" to be nurturers.

Gee, you'd think that if we were all hardwired for it, they wouldn't have to waste so much time, energy, and social pressure trying to convince us to do it. And if we're hardwired for having babies and taking care of them, can we demand required paid maternity/child-care leave? After all, we're just born that way, and we shouldn't be discriminated against!

Oh. I thought not.

By the way, focusing on my career is nurturing. It's nurturing my soul.

So, wait. I'm married, but I don't have kids and never will. So what am I? Half woman half bot? Oh this brave new world we live in, where one can be human and machine at once!

Wow, as if we needed any more proof that women aren't considered people -- just robots, with no moral or human value whatsoever.

Also, I love how the fucking ignoramuses who bleat about women being so NATURALLY nurturing fail to recall that in England and Ireland, and probably many other countries, it used to be common for wealthy mothers to give their children to foster families to help cement political ties; society's views on what's "natural" for women are always dictated more by politics than nature, and right now the nurturing point of view is big because powerful fundies want to put women back in the kitchen and make them slaves to their husbands again.

Also, does this make anybody else think of the Heineken ad? Maybe the vapid, reactionary women from Today have been sitting around watching too much TV lately.

MzStilleto, I sometime ago switched from "breeder" to "reproducer." It sounds less like animal husbandry but keeps the same biological (not emotional or mystical) tone. It reminds them that having children is not some miracle. I also say, I have chosen not to reproduce rather than I chose not to have children.

I knew there was a reason I didn't like Marie Claire.

I'm looking for the menz here too. First women were supposed to stop being dependent, whiny victims and become the kind of peppy, self-sufficient woman who would never drag a man down. Now if we make our living any other way than by raising a man's children, we're bots?

Hmm, I get it. Old stereotype + new stereotype = cheerful servant! Wow, where do I sign up for this exciting role?

What a ridiculous idea. One of the guests says 'It's not a matter that a fembot is a negative characteristic' but they're still using an insulting term (Fembots. I mean seriously?) and describing career driven women as baby hating, cupcake shunning weirdos. Thanks.

and describing career driven women as baby hating, cupcake shunning weirdos.

and i fucking LOVE cupcakes!

Yech! It's depressing to note that the host of the segment, the only one of the three who recognizes the term as hateful, is also the one who gleefully spites career women.

The other two, who seem to believe they're genuinely supportive of career women, nevertheless try to put a positive spin on the term even to the extent that one of them (as Eef notes above) tries to claim that it's not insulting.

One might almost feel sympathetic for such people, who live each day with such an astounding level of cognitive dissonance.

Almost.

-=kwantam

Yech! It's depressing to note that the host of the segment, the only one of the three who recognizes the term as hateful, is also the one who gleefully spites career women.

Also ironic because the host is obviously a career woman herself.

"It reminds them that having children is not some miracle."

mirm, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be having people insist that you have children, but do you have to be so insulting to those of us who do want them? In my opinion, the entire process of human life and reproduction IS a miracle - and I'm an atheist! It kind of saddens me that you've lost your sense of wonder about life - to me it's such an incredible mystery. Again, I have no problem with people who don't want children - the world's overpopulated anyway - but you don't have to use rude terms for people who do have children as a defense mechanism against those who criticize you.

Ew. Ew. Ew. And the icing on the cupcake, if you will, is the way they go on about how socially acceptable it is for a woman to have non-traditional priorities-- oh, sorry, I mean be a "fembot"-- and then proceed to attack these women, call them sad and imply that they are unnatural and sick! Classy.

The word "miracle" generally implies a circumstance that is rare, uncommon, or ordained by God/some other supernatural force. Given the high rates of childbirth and the known science of reproductive biology, I would agree that reproduction has very little to do with miracles.

My response to The Today Show--

To Whom It May Concern:

I recently watched a Today Show segment suggesting that the word "Fembot" is now synonymous for confident, career-driven, non-relationship obsessed, childfree women. Furthermore, the host and guests go on to imply that these ambitious women are also selfish, emotionally distant, and "sad" (read: 'pathetic'). Additionally, Guest Janet Taylor makes the broad and patently false claim that all women are hardwired to be "nurturers".

The falsehoods and stereotypes pandered in this clip are dangerous, unhealthy and demeaning. The overall implication reads loud and clear: women who are not excessively interested in babies, cake, and periods are "robots", or less-than-human. This sexist ideology has been force-fed to motivated women for centuries, only beginning to diminish when challenged and debunked in the 1960's. It is now 2007, and I was under the impression that our society had evolved to a more enlightened consensus. Sadly, this segment seems to indicate otherwise.

I am unsure of the motivation for creating this segment. However, I assure the producers and staff of The Today Show that the views of your host and guests do not reflect the views of your audience. Pandering myths, stereotypes, and lies about women does not help your ratings, and the implication that motivated, passionate women are inhuman is both ignorant and insulting.

Please refrain from further, gender-based slurs in future programming.

Sincerely,

Alex Remy

Nice letter Remy.

Raginfem, it's entirely possible to have a sense of wonder re: natural processes. Just because one doesn't believe in miracles doesn't mean they don't appreciate & love nature.

Like Cara, I'm another woman/fembot hybrid in that I'm married and don't have or plan to have kids.

To those of you who are offended at being called breeders or reproducers, while I don't normally resort to that (unless heavily provoked at the wrong time) I have to sympathize with those who do.

We are a minuscule minority compared to people with kids and talking with people, many of whom automatically put us in some sort of "abnormal" category, about the subject can get very wearing.

I'm appalled that the Today Show aired this segment. So full of stereotypes and sexist myths. Please write to them to voice your opposition to this dangerous way of thinking about women and women's lives.
I hate that unmarried and/or childless women are labeled "lonely" "cold" and/or "selfish." As though a woman can't be generous, kind and giving towards people OTHER than biological children. Some of the most charitable, compassionate women I know are single with no children. Durrr. And I know I'm far from lonely. I have a boyfriend I've bene with for almost 5 years, a dog I adore, and friends and family I love dearly. But I enjoy my career and have no desire for a wedding or babies, so I must be a miserable bitch? I don't think so.

I'm picturing 7 of 9 from STNG.

Gee, I thought our opposable thumbs, the ability to reason or high capacity for language was what separated us from the animals.

Ability to emotionally connect? Yeah, right. Anyone who has had multiple pets knows that if one dies, the other will grieve. I'd say they were emotionally connected. After all, emotion is just a chemical reaction to an external stimuli (generally speaking). There's not anything magical about that nor it is unique to humans. We may be more “advanced� in that area, but enough already!

But, I digress... If this is such a rare and "extreme" case, then why is this relevant? Good idea, posting those "warning signs", we really needed to make it easier for others to twist that and pigeonhole successful women.

Good job. Thanks to you quacks, it now just got even more difficult to be a woman in the workplace.

Sooo...fembot=career driven woman=cupcake hater on her birthday? WTF?

Exactly. It's hard to argue against something that makes no sense. I mean, being a nurturing person is great...for some of us. But since when did not oohing and aahing over a baby become a character flaw? I think I'm going to use that time to eat your cupcake.
It's too bizarre to offend me, in a way.

*ily
http://theonepercentclub.blogspot.com

Sooo...fembot=career driven woman=cupcake hater on her birthday? WTF?

Exactly. It's hard to argue against something that makes no sense. I mean, being a nurturing person is great...for some of us. But since when did not oohing and aahing over a baby become a character flaw? I think I'm going to use that time to eat your cupcake.
It's too bizarre to offend me, in a way.

*ily
http://theonepercentclub.blogspot.com

Here's my email to The Today Show:

"Regarding your fembot segment, I found it both offensive and confusing. The beginning of the segment described me to a tee, only to be followed by 'I find this sad.' Well, that's a first. I've never thought of myself as sad at all, and I'm pretty sure no one else does either!

Then they launched into this whole thing about not being able to feel and express emotion, which completely isn't me... Although I certainly don't go around emoting and being unprofessional in the workplace, and yeah, I sure as hell think that saying women are hard-wired to be nuturing is rather simplistic.

And I just didn't get the use of the word "fembot," which is clearly derogatory.

All in all, I found it to be a poorly produced (in that it was really confusing just what they were trying to say) segment. I mean, seriously, if someone brings a baby into the office, and I keep working instead of gathering around and cooing on company time, there's something wrong with me? Because I'm a "fembot." Are you kidding?

If I gather around and coo at the baby, am I still allowed to be pissed when I don't get a promotion?"

Dude, that Today segment totally hurt my feelings!

Book_Grrl -

Seven of Nine is on Voyager, not Next Generation. (sorry, just my inner geek coming through there!)

But yes, she would be the ultimate embodiment of the term "fembot".

aaaand outrage emailed!

this stuff makes me want to stab things. i'm sick and tired of being told (or "hinted at") that i'm defective for not wanting to procreate simply because i have a vagina.

ponies and rainbows - i just saw that heineken ad last night while i was watching "bones" (a show with a really kickass female protagonist, incidentally) and i had to shake my head and sigh.

the ad doesn't even make any sense--it's just a jumble of sexist imagery to sell beer. if only real women were scantily-clad, hot,robots who never spoke, but just danced around seductively and could like MAKE beer and then extend their robotic arms to serve it to you, right?

good thing heineken is a shit beer already so i don't have to go out of my way to not buy it.

I said I switched from "breeder" because it sounded too much like animal husbandry. In other words, to avoid being insulting. I don't see how using the appropriate biological term for the act (e.g. reproducing) is insulting.

Of course, I didn't call anyone a fembot. Can I have a cupcake?

so, if we don't absolutely adore children, our own and other people's, then there is something wrong with us? oh dear. well, count me in. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but I am glad they're grown and on their own. and the fact that I won't be a gramma because both my daughter and daughter in law (and my son too) are not the mommy types. and these are two of the most amazing, caring people I know. the criteria that your ability to care about others rests on your primarily on your ability to adore babies is absurd.

I thought a fembot was a the term for the robotic sex slaves in Austin Powers.

...although I suppose robots can't legally get married and would find it physically impossible to have children.

Hmm.

Fembots, indeed. Anyone who has used the man-in-the-box activity in schools, healthy relationships programs, violence prevention, or other efforts to confront the culture of male violence, will immediately recognize the list shown on the screen during this discussion as attributes for men who are "in the box." Emotional unavailability? Unable to identify how others feel? Difficulty expressing emotion? Lack of curiosity about life? Incapable of giving and receiving love? These are all problems men deal with every day, this is what boys learn growing up. It's interesting how these women have stood the reality on its end. Fembots sounds like something invented by the father's rights movement. Are these women disciples of Ann Coulter or what? The backlash lives on and on, doing the work of the patriarchy.

And what does this make the men of the world who don't want kids? Oh, my bad, no one bothered to ask THAT question.

I'd love to have at least one child, but only when I'm in a stable, long-term relationship with a man that I'm deeply in love with. People ignore the fact that it's harder for people to have children now due to the enormous costs of simply being alive. And just because some individuals choose not to have children doesn't mean they are self-absorbed or robotic. I admire those who refrain from having children because they know they won't put in the required effort. Isn't that better than a child having uninterested parents who neglect them at every turn?

This is the kind of sexist drivel I have gotten used to from the Today show. Just a couple of months ago they had a segment about tomboys that contained the same kind of b.s.

To make conservative friends to shut up, one may mention Mother Theresa who never married and never had children.

I see Piotrek went to the same place I did. Hrm. Childless? Check. Unmarried? Check. Career-driven? Kinda. Sure, sounds just like Mother Teresa.

I agree...the fembot term sounds somewhat manufactured to me. Why tie those traits to gender otherwise? And more specifically, try to paint those folk as atypical of their gender--almost unnatural. Otherwise, I might have thought we were merely discussing narcissism and depression, which can strike anybody. (Seriously, did they think that only career women, these so-called fembots, showed these traits? Surely no men or women with kids ever get that "unhealthy disconnected feeling.")

Le sigh.

Shadowen, the original fembots were robots in female form who battled the Six Million Dollar Man and the original Bionic Woman. Austin Powers just appropriated the name.
Does mentioning Mother Teresa actually work? I'd expect most conservatives to brush that off because doing God's work is Different--just as Beverly laHaye and Phyliss Schaffly have built thriving careers around telling other women to stay home and not have careers.

Cara and Twincats: I guess the three of us are cyborgs. ;)

As an SF geek, I find it odd that "fembot" should be used as slang for an independent, career-oriented woman -- in most science fiction stories, fembots (or, to use the more sophisticated term, "gynoids") are servile and sexually submissive. (This isn't necessarily because of sexism on the author's part; rather, it seems to be a recognition that many gynoids would be built with such programming.) Only a rogue fembot would be out for herself!

The word "miracle" generally implies a circumstance that is rare, uncommon, or ordained by God/some other supernatural force. Given the high rates of childbirth and the known science of reproductive biology, I would agree that reproduction has very little to do with miracles.
In your limited definition. "Miracle" also implies something wonderful or awe-inspiring. Now, I'm aware that NASA has yet to explore the entire universe, but we can be pretty certain that Earth is the only planet around that even has life on it. So, I think it's pretty rare and amazing. We're not little protazoans floating about in muck; we're human.

---

It irks me that "nurturing" is equated with "child-rearing." I'm quite nurturing, but have zero desire for children of my own. I do love, however, being a big sister, and will probably be a very doting aunt some day. I also "adopt" all sorts of younger "siblings" - I think, at last count, I've had about a half-dozen teenagers declare me to be their big sister.

...but, apparently, since I'm "nurturing," I should be a mom. Otherwise, it's a waste of "nurturing," or, as per the Today show, I'm a fembot.

What about doctors? missionaries? profs at small liberal arts colleges who mentor their students? judges who keep in touch with their clerks? So they are soulless fembots, because "nurturing" and "childrearing" are inextricably intertwined? Riiiight.

My email:
To Whom it May Concern,
A segment on the Today Show referred to women who do not get married or have children as “fembots,� and women focused on their careers as “emotionally unavailable.� I would like to thank you for perpetuating these dangerous gender stereotypes, thus contributing to the hostility that has been directed at me throughout my adult life. I have repetitively been called selfish for not wanting children, I have been told I will suffer deep unhappiness throughout my life for this decision, and I have been named everything from not a real woman to inhuman. I also work VERY hard for my career goals because I want so badly to fulfill my lifelong passions. I hardly think that striving for one’s passions and choosing the life path that I want most, defying socially expected and enforced gender roles, qualifies as being a “fembot.� I have family, friends, and a long-term boyfriend I love very dearly. My career goals are built around my deep compassion for humanity and my need to put an end to discrimination. Please explain to me how rejecting my expected role in order to fulfill my greatest passions makes me “emotionally unavailable� and akin to a robot.

Ok, so watching the segment objectively, I honestly got the impression that the 2 guests believe this "new type of woman" to be a positive and powerful thing (unfortunate choice in the label of "fembot" aside). It seemed to me when they brought up the "emotionally unavailable" part they were meaning more a small minority of these so-called "fembots," implying that most of them are healthy and happy.

More than anything, I think it was the host who put the negative spin on it all and kinda put words into the guests' mouths. Which still sucks...

PS- I really wish we women could stop judging each other based on our decisions to reproduce or not do so (as in our choices to pursue a career or not, etc etc etc). It tears us apart, and weakens and undermines us as a group.

Soooooo nuns = soulless fembot? Florence Nightingale = soulless fembot?

No?

"I thought a fembot was the term for the robotic sex slaves in Austin Powers."

They also had machine guns for breasts. Wouldn't that be useful!

Marcy:

I agree. It seems that at the end of the segment the women tried to say that fembots are positive figures. Unfortunately, those last few moments are completely lost under the weight of focusing on the emotional unavailability of some fembots and the fact that the interviewer even points out how fembot isn't a very nice name.

No matter how they try to play it off, the damage is done within the first minute of the segment where they discuss how "sad" it is to not care about babies and birthday cakes.

Add that to the fact that they trot out a psychologist who talks about how women are "hardwired" for nurturing...and it makes me question whether they truly think fembots are good or if they were trying to save face at the end.

I am disgusted that these sexist remarks are coming out of women's mouths! What is the world coming to?

Oh vomit.

I have a child. He seems to be plenty nurtured. I also hate office hugs, outearn my son's father, hate baby showers, and hate talking about my feelings.

Know what else? I want to shove cupcakes up the asses of the Today Show producers.

Regardless of whether the segment was actually positive or negative, it is lame to have a special sub-human term for a woman who chooses to not have a marriage or babies.

Here's my letter:

To whomever produced and condoned the recent segment about alleged fembots:

Young women these days are faced with all sorts of stereotypes about what women are supposed to be. Women are supposed to be sexy, but not too sexy or else they're sluts. Women are supposed to age gracefully, and yet look like they're in their 20's. Women are supposed to strive to be anything they want, as long as it involves marriage, children, and more than half of the housework. Women can be either smart or beautiful, but not both.

Classifying some women as "fembots" because they choose not to get married or have children is so patronizing. Last time I checked, people can have fulfilling lives without either one of those things. Apparently, when women do it, they're seen as "emotionally-unavailable", whereas when men do it, they're just perpetual bachelors (or one of those lovely man/boy hybrids that we see in TV shows and movies all the time).

I find it both offensive and ironic that the three women on your show obviously have their own careers, and yet they spend their time classifying women who have careers (outside of their "natural" career as some sort of domestic slave with a clown car vagina) as sub-human. I find it sad that a woman's choice to not get married or have children somehow makes her "emotionally-unavailable." It seems that the women on the show are just clinging to an updated version of the tired "spinster" stereotype. What about women who get married but don't want children? Or vice-versa? Are they another sort of cyborg?

It is not scientific to claim that women have more of a sense of "nurturing" than men do. The hunter vs. gatherer stereotypes are so tired and sexist. I don't see men who choose not to hunt animals called emotionally unavailable cupcake haters.

I find it sad and indicative of the patriarchy that these women on your show can be so openly misogynistic without even batting an eye. What's next, a segment about stripper-pole empowerment? Seriously.

I don't watch your show on a regular basis anyway, but now I have a good reason to avoid it.

Mary B.
Exeter, NH

I could understand an argument that says being totally detached from your emotions and focused on your career without any attention to human relationships is a bad thing. But that's totally different from being career-driven and uninterested in typical "feminine" activities like babies and cupcakes. It certainly doesn't make you some less than human robot. We don't expect men to ooh and aah over babies, and we don't call them robots if they're reluctant to talk about their feelings. Grargh.

lizriz-

Thanks for the correction! I'm from the Kirk and Spock generation, I keep getting the later Star Treks confused :)

I would like to take this moment to apologize to all the women out there that don't want children. You know those people that tell you: "I know a woman that said she NEVER wanted to have children. Now she is [insert age here] and trying to have a baby. You'll change your mind." I am that woman and for that, I am sorry. I hate the thought of being used to beat up other women for making a perfectly valid choice (I realize that this isn't even a choice for some, it is something that you just know). Again, I apologize. If it makes you feel any better, I still get it for only wanting one child: "You can't just have one! That's not fair to the kid!" - huh?!? I know several only children and none have ever expressed that they felt cheated out of having a sibling.

I have no idea why the thought of a woman consciously deciding not to have children (or - *gasp* - having one with out a man) is so scary to society-at-large. I guess it frightens them that women are individuals and have individual lifestyles. IMO, this is why Clinton is focused on every time she speaks or appears out of the prescribed character MSM and the public has given her.

But since when did not oohing and aahing over a baby become a character flaw?

Because: Women love babies, ALL women love ALL babies!! (just ask Leslie Unruh)/sarcasm
You know, since I've decided to have a child, I still don't ooh and aah over babies (except my nephew because he is gorgeous!).

When I think of "Fembot," Austin Powers is the only thing that comes to mind. I don't remember a reference to them in Six Million Dollar Man or The Bionic Woman (are those on DVD? I'd love to re-watch the cheese), but I was a wee lass at the time. The neighbor's Six Million Dollar Man doll was my absolute favorite thing to play with when I visited. You could look though the back of his head through his bionic eye...it was awesome!

I used to get a lot of grief from people about having kids. Then I got my tubes tied. Now, instead of telling me I'll "change my mind" or whatever, it's much easier. They get this shocked look on their faces as if I've just informed them of some terrible tragedy. Then they either change the subject or ask "why" in this really quiet way and actually listen to my answer.

Those of you who don't want kids might try this approach (even if it's not true). It's made my life much easier.

Do they realize that by this definition the vast majority of American men are manbots?

I agree with ShifterCat. To me a "fembot" implies a female-looking object who has no self-identity and was programmed for a purpose, generally pleasing men. She is either a hot sexy babe, or a Stepford wife. A woman who is out for herself and does what she wants for her personal fulfillment is by definition not a "bot" of any kind. But if being career-oriented, not particularly nurturing, ambitious and self-driven makes a woman a fembot, then most American men are bots.

BTW, it is possible to be a cold hard bitch, ambitious, driven, and the kind of woman who hangs up the phone on telemarketers and tells panhandlers "No" in a sharp, loud monotone, and still love babies and ooh and ahh over other people's babies and be caring and loving to your own. I am not interested in being emotionally available or nurturing to anyone but the few people I have chosen to nurture, and I expect everyone else to act like an adult and not expect me to take care of them. This does not make me non-nurturing, but it does make me selective in who I nurture. And yes, I love babies and small children, and yes, I wanted my own, and yes, I went out and had them. That still does not mean I'm going to be nice to *you*, Mr. Guy On The Street Who Wants Me To Smile. Loving mom != doormat of the world.

So, they're saying a woman who doesn't want to have children and who cares about her career, has some sort of mental illness and needs help?!

This reminds me of an article that was featured on yahoo news today. Titled, "The Crying Game: Male vs Female Tears." The article states women are judged more harshly for crying than men. It discussed how women who cry are seen as irrational, and those that dont are seen as inhuman.

A quote from the hugest fucking misogynist Bill Maher said on his talk show, "at this time when the entire nation is saying 'hmmm, can we have a woman president? Maybe theyre too emotional,' I dont think this is helping." He then added, "if I was a woman I would be embarrassed right now. I would be embarrassed for all womankind."

I hate Maher.

I'm so delighted to see that many other feministing readers are childfree by choice.

I don't know the rules about posting links - so I apologize if this is inappropriate.

WeKidYouNot.org is a fun, social message board worth checking out. :)

Thanks Gopher! I hadn't heard of that particular CFBC board, I just bookmarked it. I'm glad that there are so many of us out there!

Book_Grrl and MLE and ShifterCat:
My inner geek also reacted to this (although I didn't watch the segment - I just couldn't bring myself to), except I'm a Buffy geek.

Does anyone remember the girlbots from Seasons 5 and 6? April and the Buffybot? Like ShifterCat said about the Fembots from Bond and Austin Powers, they were all about sex and pleasing their man. "She's only programmed to be in love." A choice scene:

BUFFY: Can you cry? Sometimes I feel better when I cry. But ... there might be rust issues.
APRIL: Crying is blackmail. Good girlfriends don't cry.
BUFFY: Oh.
APRIL: I rechecked everything. I did everything I was supposed to do. I was a good girlfriend.
BUFFY: I'm sure you were.
APRIL: I'm only supposed to love him. If I can't do that, what am I for? What do I exist for?

And the only reason that the Buffybot fought demons and such was that Spike, the man she was made for, requested it. ("I fight with weapons.") To me, that's a fembot. Not someone who is being themselves, doing their own thing, and not being defined by their relationship to a man.

That'll put Marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!
(sorry, Buffy geekdom has taken over . . )

How confusing! At first I thought, "Hmmm...they are reappropriating "fembot," and "Their rhetoric says 'bot,' but their content says 'inist.'"

Then they did it. They pathologized feminism. Specifically in working women.

Yes to GinnyTonic. They are saying that career-oriented, non-gender-stereotypic women are nuttier than squirrel shit.

Bastidges.

Hee, violetlightning.

"Oh, Spike! You're all covered in sexy wounds!"

Wait a sec....I thought all feminists are fat, ugly lesbians....wouldn't that imply that we would make a mad dash for the cupcakes?

Golly gee! The contradicting stereotypes are confusing my pretty little head!

Wait a sec....I thought all feminists are fat, ugly lesbians....wouldn't that imply that we would make a mad dash for the cupcakes?

Golly gee! The contradicting stereotypes are confusing my pretty little head!

Know what else? I want to shove cupcakes up the asses of the Today Show producers.

That is a horrible thing to do to a perfectly tasty cupcake.

Alara,

Agree completely with the "smile!" thing. Last time someone said that to me, I had just pulled an all-nighter - basically, three hours of sleep in 48 hours. Plane rides, luggage disasters, and no good food = very tired person who wanted nothing more than a warm, comfy bed and a nice, home-cooked meal. Apparently, that just wasn't Suzie Homemaker enough for the jerkoff whose day was ruined by the fact that I wasn't smiling.

You know what, though? Americans smile too much anyway. Second, I love the idea that I have the power to ruin some chauvanist's day by being serious.

I used to get a lot of grief from people about having kids. Then I got my tubes tied.
Kimmy, how old are you? How did you get a doctor to do that?

Oh! It all makes so much sense now! My not wanting to marry right away is led up to my fembot personality. What the hell? And what's up with nurturing being 'wired' into my mind. I guess I'm just a bad woman.