Why does it have a Xanax dispenser and a condom dispenser, but no birth control dispenser? Wouldn't a condom-dispenser make more sense on, I donno, a he-phone?

I guess contraception is something only women have to worry about.

OK, this is way off topic. BUt am I the only person who has a problem with vibrators shaped like bunnies, dolphins, and other animals?

VT: no weirder than cartoon character thongs, I guess...But I did see a Hello Kitty vibrating "keychain" over at Fleshbot...so creepy. So yes, I am totally tweaked by cutesy vibrators. Ugh.

When I sold vibrators, I was told that it is illegal in some countries where they are manufactured, it is illegal for them to make them look like like genitalia. In some states in the US, you can't sell unless they are sold as a novelty item, how much more novelty can you get than a vibrating dolphin or rabbit?

Ugh, that's just disgusting. I'm even more pissed off because I work in the tech industry. What I need for my phone has nothing to do with this bullshit. If this were a parody I'd find it hysterical -- sadly it seems to be sincere.

wow, aside from the phone and dental floss applications there's nothing really useful on that fone. i'm not saying that the other items wouldn't be useful, but that's why i carry a small purse.

And at age 44, i think i can probably wait until i get home to use a vibrator, a home pregnancy kit, spray pefume, self tanning device etc.

It's hardly like i sit at my cube, working on construction documents thinking to myself, i need to orgasm STAT but in order to attract me to me i have to be TANNED...afterwards i need to make sure i didn't impregnate myself...and then I have spray myself with perfume to hide the musky afterglow.

I think we can be pretty confident that this is a joke. Whether or not it's funny...

I think we can be pretty confident that this is a joke. Whether or not it's funny...

So amazing!!! How much for it?

I just love the humor in "just make sure to pick the right setting!" when you need to choose Mace or perfume. Because nothing is as hilarious as a would-be rapist smelling like Vanilla Fields or something.

Blocking other's cell phone calls? Why?

Most phones go on vibrate. Now raise your had if you've ever used yours to get off.

I thought not.

The most disturbing thing about this is that the creator is Mia Kim. She's an insult to the sisterhood, non?

Ah, they aren't even trying; they left out the cliches about menstruation and PMS.

All the retarded stuff that makes this completely offensive aside... rabbit vibrators aren't actually shaped like rabbits. They're just called that because they have a protrusion that, along with the, err... "main feature", makes it look vaguely like bunny ears.

Honestly, I think the most offensive part is the pregnancy test... and the Xanax... and the tanning laser... ok... the only thing on this entire phone that I don't find offensive is the corkscrew.

Ok, so maybe not the reason they list for the corkscrew.

Gadgets on a totally useless 'dream' phone I'd find useful.... a usb flash drive (something easy to plug into any computer and download what you need), pocket knife (seriously, they are always useful), a drink analyzer (to check to make sure nothing has been put in a drink) and all wrapping in a color that is NOT PINK. But wait, then maybe guys would want it too!

Ok, so maybe that isnt so useless. I feel bad about adding a drink analyzer, but unfortunately it happens to enough people that is would be nice to have readily available.

W. Kiernan, I know, right? Where's my midol dispenser and tampon inserter?

i'm not gonna lie, i'd like a phone with a breathalyzer and a corkscrew, but that is because i am a functioning alcoholic.

in addition to the obvious, i'm also offended by the "voice analyzer--is your BF where he says he is?" so not only are we appearance-obsessed nymphomaniac pill poppers, we're also insanely jealous, paranoid and scheming!? awesome!

I think Mia Kim just unpacked a major load of personal baggage in that illustration. That might be a practical phone for her, but it probably isn't for most women.

The first thing I thought when I read the description was: Mia Kim must have created this phone for a character from Sex and the City, in which her entire day is spent obsessing about looks, sex, alcohol, and/or any combination of the three, than any real woman with real problems.

I have to wonder why she didn't make the whole damn thing Pepto-Bismol Pink, just to top it all off. Everyone knows women are afraid of technology unless it's PINK!

Aw, sorry. I missed that Vanessa already noted that the shePhone isn't pink.

Speaking as a sex-toy saleslady...

@VTIdealist: It's all a matter of taste. Personally, the closer a sex toy looks to an actual body part, the more it creeps me out. But some women (and men) like the disembodied body-part toys. On the other hand, others like sex toys which look like friendly, cuddly companions.

@June: Actually, there are a lot of sex toys which look like bunnies. And the clit-stim part of a Rabbit-type vibe is often made to resemble its namesake, complete with ears which can be placed on either side of the clitoral hood.

I'd also like to note that they have vibrators shaped like cellphones, for the whole "vibe in disguise" thing. It's quite reasonable not to expect anyone to use an actual cellphone as a sex toy, because who wants to have to clean girl juice off the keys?

And, you know, on this model the vibrator is right next to the mace atomizer. What if you get those mixed up? Perhaps, if one accidentally confronted a mugger with a pink vibrating bunny, one could hope that the assailant choked to death on large, moist snorts of laughter.

"When I sold vibrators, I was told that it is illegal in some countries where they are manufactured" SassyGirl...

Try the State of Texas!

Apparently it is illegal to own two or more vibrators, or to use them in a "lewd or indecent manner."

Of course you can keep as many GUNS in the house as you want ...

I don't know who Mia Kim is, so I don't know if there's any kind of history, but this looks to me more like a meta-joke than anything -- a sarcastic jab at the stereotypes.

I wouldn't want to talk on my phone if it had been where a vibrator usually goes. (And I don't really have time to go into the ten billion other problems with this "product"... oy.)