Co-worker: I love your perfume! What is that?

You: Oh, it's my underwear. It's melon scented.

(later)

Your Boss: Okay, I know you saw the sexual harrassment training video...

If I wore underwear that felt "like a second skin" I would never be able to get rid of the yeast. If, for some reason, women can't be found to design underwear, could the designers at least consult with a few before coming out with this stuff?

I refuse to believe that the Melon sisters are actually women.

Scented stuff = UTI, yeast infection, or both. I think I'll pass. Plus, why on earth do I need coochie perfume? I think I'll stick with plain old soap and water.

While this sounds like as ridiculous an idea on the face of it as any other gimmick to sell clothing, I'm really curious as to why you think it's more likely to cause yeast infections/UTIs than the detergent/dyes/fixers normally resident in pant cloth --- or for that matter, the bacteria in the vagina in the first place.

What the hell is a UTI???? I don't get it.

Anyhow, Jen's take on this post reminds me of the Vagina Monologue's "My Angry Vagina" and how the author said she didn't want to smell like spring-scented flowers.

"MY PUSSY IS SUPPOSED TO SMELL LIKE PUSSY!" That's one of the classic lines of the Monologues.

God -- or whomever, bless Eve Ensler.

UTI= urinary tract infection.

I don't need to be using a dryer sheet--or something that looks/smells like it--as a built-in pantyliner. What about watermelon-scented boxers to get rid of that ball-sweat smell? Can't we just smell like, you know, humans?

@PFM:

UTI is Urinary Tract Infection. Much more common in women because of the fortunes of evolution. Most commonly experienced as a "peeing glass" sensation: not fun. Common agents like E. coli cause it, and they're all over your skin anyway. Which is why a lot of women get them after penetrative sex.

And some people think we were designed by a benevolent deity...

I think I'll skip the yeast infection and stick with my trusty odorless undies.

First of all, I wear underwear way more than 15 times before I throw them away (or use them as rags, whatever). Why would I buy something- and pay more for it- when it won't even last through the lifespan of the product? And it sounds vaguely like its supposed to be used by people who don't wash their underwear in between uses, which, ick.

You know, sometimes I find when I'm reading a post here on Feministing, that my mouth starts to hang open and brow begins to furl. Do you know the look I mean? What would possess someone to develop and/or purchase this product?

That's the oddest damn thing I've ever heard of. (Okay, not the oddest but then I've heard more than I need to about Anna Nicole Smith's sex life.)

I wear my underwear once and then I wash it. I've never found that one wearing imparts an odour that required covering.

Seriously. I make sure I don't use those sheets when I put my underwear in the dryer. I don't understand why you would want to introduce more possibly aggravating chemicals to the area.

Fruit flavored vagina sounds like a fundementalist christian's attempt at "converting" a gay man. "I know you think it's nasty, but here, it smells like watermelon. Isn't that nice? Jesus says it's nice." ;)

um, one of my friends used to place a drier sheet between her underwear and her bum when she was particularly gassy but had going-out plans. and it actually did help, but not completely cover things up. once we all knew her secret, tho, it was the drier sheet scent not the fart scent that gave her away. so, anyway, perhaps THAT was part of the inspiration??? (just grasping at straws here.)

personally, i use perfume & dye free laundry detergent (and NO drier sheets) because my sensitive cooch gets red and angry if i don't. and i agree: my vagina is supposed to smell (and taste) like vagina.

Sue me, but I like this idea.

I'm a big gal, which means a lot of crotch sweat because I don't get a lot of air circulation through there. I wash plenty, of course, but eight hours in summer is enough to make me quite ripe, thanks.

If the scent is mild and odor-absorbing and the chemicals aren't likely to come into direct contact with anything other than my pubes (which we all do have, yes?) then there should be no potential for irritation.

Also, since apparently no-one here knows this: yeast infections are not caused by chemicals, but by lack of air circulation, usually from nylon instead of cotton underwear. And UTIs are caused by direct introduction of e coli bacteria into the urethra, usually either from having sex while not entirely clean, or from wiping back to front.

Let's put a feminist spin on this story: as society has it, most women are already shy about their vagina as is. Do we really want to go forward with making a vagina into something it's not really supposed to be? Part of consciousness raising is making women realize that the vagina isn't something to be ashamed of. This product is just doing the exact opposite.

Besides, and I don't mean to be crude, I am a fan of the vagina. But, I am staying away if it smells like 1800flowers.com just delivered it to by door.

Actually Trash Queen, yeast infections can be caused by more than one thing. Lack of air circulation is only one cause. Another big one is antibiotics, especially those used to treat UTIs (that's what I usually get them from). The chemicals in scented products can irritate the vaginal area, making you more susceptible to yeast infections. They can also irritate the urethra, making you more susceptible to UTIs. Most medical advice sites will advise women looking to prevent yeast infections or UTIs to stop using scented products. So there's no need to talk down to us.

Someone's already brought this up but why don't they have these things for men? Their groins smell too and yet you don't see apple cinnamon boxer briefs. I honestly think this is just playing into "your vaginas are icky and smell bad" attitude and that they must never, ever, actually smell like a vagina.

UltraMagnus: Abso-f'in-lutely.

And OK, I'm sorry, but I am actually both amused and impressed by plenilune's friend's fartproofing solution. I', considering sewing dryer-sheet pockets in the butts of my panties.

WTF?! Seriously, why do I want my vagina to smell like melons? And with dryer sheets, I tend to allergic to those so that's a no go (even though I wouldn't try it). What people do boggles my mind. If someone showers regularly and wears clean underwear they should smell fine unless they have an infection or something. I know I have never gotten any complaints...

Under_zenith: none of the things you mentioned actually CAUSE yeast infections or UTIs.

Irritation does make it easier for the fungus and bacteria (respectively) to take hold, but it doesn't actually cause those infections.

The key point, however, is that that irritation doesn't happen unless the chemical-laden product comes into direct contact with the interior of the vulva. Unless one is in the habit of stuffing one's underpants directly between one's labia, there shouldn't be enough direct contact between the (presumably mild) chemicals in this cloth and the sensitive tissues.

Only women who shave their pubes (and none of us would do that, right?) should have any risk of irritation from mild chemicals on underwear cloth. If we did, we'd be foaming up every other day just from laundry soap residue (which, I guarantee, is there regardless of what kind of detergent you use.)

If you want to entirely avoid any possibility of irritation and therefore potential infection, you probably shouldn't touch your vulva ever, with anything. No washing, even with plain water--that might wash away too much natural secretion. No wiping--too much abrasion. And certainly no sexual contact. Not, of course, that anyone would want to get near one's stanky snatch if one never actually washed or wiped the thing.

I'm not advocating Lysol douches, here. I'm just saying that having a mild scent in one's drawers is not the end of the world. And it's certainly not a feminist issue. Sheesh.

Yeah, actually, it is, Trash Queen. Women (as noted, disproportionately to men) being shamed about their crotches is an issue. Smelly products for your crotch are just so much more damaging shaming.

So is judging what people do with their pubes, though.

melon scent + coochie smell + a hot day = DISASTER.

i shall rephrase that to melon scent + coochie scent + a hot day = DISASTER.

'Cuz no, coochies don't smell bad naturally (well, at least they're not supposed to...) I

'tis all...

Only women who shave their pubes (and none of us would do that, right?) should have any risk of irritation from mild chemicals on underwear cloth.

You seem to want to be passing judgment on the feminist identified women who do shave their pubes, seeing as you've mentioned this twice now in a very questionable/scolding fashion, as if it were wrong if women were shaving their pubes.

I missed that...what is wrong with shaving/waxing, etc. if I choose to? And no- I do get UTI's or any other irritations as a result.

Someone please clarify. I hope feminism does not require a dress code now too.

i meant *do not get*...geez...this is what happens when you type and eat

Trash Queen, if you want to be pedantic, yeast infections aren't CAUSED by a lack of air circulation either. They're caused by an overgrowth of yeast. It's a feminist issue because it's just one more way in which women are expected to put their health and comfort second to being appropriate sex toys for men.

And, yes, the vagina is self-cleansing, and over washing it or washing it with harsh or scented soaps can cause irritations that can in turn cause it to smell much worse than if you had just left it alone in the first place.

Trash Queen- I shave my pubes and if YOU have a problem with that, then YOU need to get a LIFE and stop obsessing about other women's body parts.

And no, I haven't had more than one UTI in the past 10 years. I had more yeast infections, however, when I DIDN'T shave.

Powder-fresh melon???

"um, one of my friends used to place a drier sheet between her underwear and her bum when she was particularly gassy but had going-out plans. and it actually did help, but not completely cover things up. once we all knew her secret, tho, it was the drier sheet scent not the fart scent that gave her away. so, anyway, perhaps THAT was part of the inspiration??? (just grasping at straws here.)"

That actually makes way more sense than these panties. The dryer sheet got between the odor and anyone's nose, and her panty was between the dryer sheet and her genitals - so she wasn't risking her health applying dryer sheet stuff to her genitals.

"i shall rephrase that to melon scent + coochie scent + a hot day = DISASTER.

"'Cuz no, coochies don't smell bad naturally (well, at least they're not supposed to...) I"

Coochies don't smell naturally at all. Noses do that. ;)

Fuck yes this is a feminist issue. It's yet another way to make money off women's shame about their vaginas/vulvas. Vaginas are not supposed to smell like flowers or fresh fruit. I've heard guys deny that women poop, fart and bleed once a month; the poor lads can't keep their stiffies if they acknowledge that we're real people with human bodies. You don't see lavender scented boxers for men! Guess that's because ball stank is what makes men manly. Unfortunately for us women it's our very womanliness that makes us "disgusting."

Trash Queen, I keep my bush nice and fluffy, and I still get irritation if I use dryer sheets or scented laundry detergent. My OBGyn told me not to use scented stuff or soap on my vulva, and I've been irritation free ever since. I tend to trust her expert opinion over that of someone who apparently thinks coochie grooming is off the table for feminists.

I agree with the comments re: why can't men have scented underwear. Men's 'areas' get pretty sweaty and ripe, especially when paired with an ungroomed bush... Anyway this is definitely playing into women's insecurity about their bodies, and I'm tired of it, but then again that's what a lot of consumerism is based on.

Actually Trash Queen, getting waxed might be something you'd want to look into if you have a lot of sweating issues and you aren't that sensitive down below. I'm completely waxed, and partly because it makes me feel less sweaty and cleaner. Hair tends to hold sweat longer. I think it's bizarre that you would say this product is a good idea because it fits one of your needs but then insinuate that you know what's best for other people's pubes.
Anyway.
I can see how this type of fabric would be a good idea for clothes..a lot of people love the smell of "fresh" laundry. However, the only people who get close enough to smell your vagina are generally people who WANT to smell your vagina. Based on that, it's obvious that this underwear is trying to perpetuate the idea that vaginas are stinky. Sigh.

I actually like the idea. I'm a pretty big fan of sexy underwear and fruity smells. Combining the two is a dream come true for me.

I hope nobody here uses scented tampons, because those are even WORSE for your bod. Both my roommates use them, so I can't even swipe one of theirs if I'm out or something.

This is why I love my fiance. His two (highly sarcastic) responses to this:
"Well God knows I always wished you smelled less like an actual woman and more like a laundry sheet"
and:
"Well what is a delicately balanced pH system for if not to be discarded for the pleasure of men?"

I had the misfortune of accidentally buying those scented pads once... I didn't realize what they were until after I had bought them and desperately needed them...

Anyways, the scent on the pads combined with my natural smell to create this funky stank far, far worse than I have ever smelled on my own. These panties are not a good idea because chemical perfumes and vaginas... just don't get along.

Even without the anti-feminist implications of this product I imagine that this product wouldn't work all that well anyways. I mean, your vagina's never going to smell like melon, no matter how hard you try.

And, good lord, why would you want it to?!

No one has considered that training our noses to associate melons with vaginas could cause people to have inexplicably intense urges in the produce aisle.

Okay, since we're on this subject, there's something I'd like to bring up regarding the whole period thing.

At the NOW conference a few weeks ago, one of the vendors was selling the tampon "hiding" products for women.

Now, I've never had a period, I don't know how periods work, and didn't know the difference between pads and tampons a few weeks ago, but I still bothered me that they were selling this: http://www.simplydiscrete.com/

What does everyone think? This vendor was selling this shit at a feminist convention! So what did I do? I played football with it.

Holy crap, ProFeministMale.
That simplydiscrete shit is truly disturbing. They're basically selling rose-scented little plastic bags so noone will know you might actually be an adult woman with a regular menstrual cycle. Um, I'm not ashamed of my period, it's part of my definition of myself as a woman and I refuse to apologize for or be embarassed about it.
I really think this ties in with the scented panties, though. It's all about hiding your less-than-airbrushed womanly qualities. Cootchie smells fresh thanks to my scented panties, but that used tampon is destroying my illusion that I have a flower garden between my legs. What's a girl to do? Simplydiscrete to the rescue! Gag me.

I guess if you want pretty-smelling undies, that's cool. But I really hate the plethora of products designed to make women think their vaginas smell bad--seriously, how much money goes into the production and marketing of sprays, douches, powders, etc. that come in nice little scents to cover up the smell of cunt? Not to mention that perfumes and scented products, when applied to the sensitive tissues of the vagina, can lead to irritation, which in turn can leave a woman more susceptible to infection (and if you're not infected, you still have an irritated vagina, which is never a good thing).

Just as an aside, I have a cure for yeast infections (and by "cure" I mean you will never get one again.) I was having a hard time with yeast infections, getting them every month after my period and my gynecologist suggested I buy empty pills from the pharmacy (size 0) and fill them with boric acid. Put one in your vagina every night for about a week and you will never have a yeast infection again. I haven't had one in about 7 years after having them literally every single month. If you Google this, you'll see it's a well-known cure for yeast infections.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Do not sue me. Ask your doctor about this cure. Proceed at your own risk.

But seriously, it worked for me and saved me a ton of agony and money. A $25 copay and a $20 RX for one little pill every month was killing me.

Here's something I'm not getting. Just a couple days ago in the "Australian lad mag holds 'sexiest feminist' competition" post, we were outraged by one of the prizes that'll be given for the women with the most sensible shoes: a year's supply of deodorant. Now some of you are offended by these pretty smelling panties that aren't even marketed as a product to mask our stinky vaginas. So which is it? Is it more feminist to smell good or to smell bad? As for me, I just don't want my personal hygiene to be an indication of where my loyalties lie.

Dude. Whatever happened to just drinking pineapple juice? Not to mention that a real fruit smell would be a lot nicer than a fake fruit smell....

If your vagina smells like melons, does that mean you now need a scented bra so your melons smell like ...

No, I'm not going to go there.

Just for the record, I think that's supposed to be something like "Melon-brand scented underwear" since it later refers to "a powder fresh scent" and "Melon, started by Brooke and Meredith Sloane". However, I too did the double-take: "Melon-scented cooch? Gross!"

Yeah, I'm constantly frustrated by the idea that my vagina is supposed to smell like anything besides vagina.

I'm not particularly fond of the omnipresence of the "powder-fresh" scent, either. I think trying to make women smell like baby powder has some implications, too. That could just be me, though.

I'm really surprised that no one has mentioned cancer yet. There's concern that chemicals in tampons and makeup may cause cancer, and I can only imagine what clothing your vagina in a plethora of chemicals could do to your body. How can we let marketers know they've gone way too far with this? I wonder if the FDA would have something to say about this potential health risk?

I'm really surprised that no one has mentioned cancer yet. There's concern that chemicals in tampons and makeup may cause cancer, and I can only imagine what clothing your vagina in a plethora of chemicals could do to your body. How can we let marketers know they've gone way too far with this? I wonder if the FDA would have something to say about this potential health risk?

My very valid concern about yeast is the 'fits like a second skin' part more than the scent. I know my body, and I know what triggers me to have yeast infections.

The scent? Unnecessary. Under normal circumstances my natural smell is very nice.

As for all of you talking about scented pants for guys; as a man, I would love scented boxers exspecially cinnamon or :D "nut"meg.

Although, I did have a girlfriend once whos bits smelled naturally like sherbet. That was great!