Checking out the Onion this morning, I nearly mistook it for iVillage. That's right -- a special women's issue. Chock full of cleaning tips, weight-loss advice, women's history timeline, and faux feminism! The whole thing is packaged like a douche ad, which makes it extra realistic.
The best part, though?
"As recently as 15 years ago, a woman could only feel empowered by advancing in a male-dominated work world, asserting her own sexual wants and needs, or pushing for a stronger voice in politics. Today, a woman can empower herself through actions as seemingly inconsequential as driving her children to soccer practice or watching the Oxygen network."
This is the premise that Female Chauvinist Pigs was built on -- if a self-identified feminist is doing something, that must mean she feels "empowered" by it. And it's also a lovely satire of the odd perspective that the Pussycat Dolls are somehow icons of modern feminism:
Whereas early feminists campaigned tirelessly for improved health care and safe, legal access to abortion, often against a backdrop of public indifference or hostility, today's feminist asserts control over her biological destiny by wearing a baby-doll T-shirt with the word "Hoochie" spelled in glitter.
And, finally, an infographic of euphemisms for menstruation. Hilarious. As a huge fan of the applicator-less tampon, I hope #8 really takes off. (#1 and #6 aren't so bad, either.)
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I have nothing original, so I'll just quote Clueless: "I was riding the crimson wave and had to haul ass to the ladies."
LOVE The Onion!
#6 just killed me.
I'm definitely using that one from now on. Bwahahahaha!
I also liked the editorial How I Can Use Feminism to My Advantage:
"When I first read Steinem, she awoke ambitions I never knew I had. I wanted to be just like her-- powerful, famous, and financially well off."
Wow. The Onion has this amazing ability to use satire to just cut right to the core of things that I've been struggling with for ages to express seriously. Awesome.
Not being a fan of euphemisms in general, I have to say I vote for #9.
The Onion is clearly amazing.
"It's 'that time of the month' when I'm 'not at my best' because 'my vagina is bleeding'."
*dies laughing*
Oh Onion, how do I love thee?
Yeah, number 9 has been my favourite for a while.
The household tips section makes me want to start a cleaning products company called 'Girl Power' just for the complete non-irony of it. Girl Power would beat Mr. Clean any day of the week, baby!
Man, I really loved the timeline, especially:
1963 – Betty Friedan fucks her way to the top of the Modern Feminist Movement.
Classic. :)
Hi five to the Onion staff. I suspect working there is both surreal and fantastic.
Glancing elsewhere on the page, I found the headline: "New Bill to Defend Marriage From Sharks". Hilarious.
I was a fan of #4. I'm going to say I'm falling to the Communists next period.
I too love the idea of "falling to the Communists". I also love that the "everything empowers women" article comes by way of Oberlin Ohio. Awesome.
Of course shopping is empowerment--this is America. If a way can be found to put a positive spin on consumerism, count on it happening.
Hmm...sounds awfully like some empowerment talk I was reading the other day. How did it go? Oh yeah: "Trust me on this one - when you're a feminist, day-to-day life is better. You make better decisions. You have better sex. I have a job that I love that I owe to feminism (as a writer and one of the founders of feministing.com). I have an amazing group of women friends who spend their days speaking out against sexist idiocy - and who also happily dance their asses off with me when we're out clubbing."
Oooh. Empowering!
For more on how you too can be empowered (of course, never dare to challenge to the economic system itself), find some convenient tips on the pseudo-revolution here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/gender/story/0,,2059641,00.html
Saying that being a feminist makes a lot of various things about life better is a lot different than saying everything you do as a feminist (the example of dancing in clubs you use above, Polly, for instance) empowering. It doesn't make it bad, of course. But I don't think Jessica ever said dancing in clubs was empowering. (Probably having awesome female friends who she can challenge the patriarchy with intellectually and in her professional life would be empowering, however)
Also, I'm fairly sure a lot of people on this site (perhaps most) care about challenging the economic system. Have you noticed the couple of threads about woman's work and woman's unwaged work that have been put on the site in the past few weeks?
Thanks for the insight, Polly. We've been waiting for you to come along and tell us what kind of feminists we are. Good luck with the ecomonic revolution you got going on over there. I sure hope "cosmetics, reality t.v., and soy ice cream" survive it.