I actually saw this ysterday (oh the joys of being unemployed). Sadly I don't have the video. The segment was pretty short, and Dr. Phil wasn't all that critical, not like I expected him to be. It was unfortunate that the woman they chose to represent the "other side" didn't get much of a chance to speak, and wasn't all that articulate. She didn't raise any feminist critiques, or even point out how CREEPY the whole thing is. Her position was that one shouldn't expect young teenagers to make big decisions about sex and sexuality. Her reasoning seemed to be that she had make a purity pledge as a teenager and now she was a sexually active adult. And she wasn't messed up at all! And she had a good relationship with her father! So there!
The worst was listening to the daughter of the guy who started the whole purity ball phenomenon. She went on and on about purity, and how she'd never kissed anyone. At no point did they explain why purity is supposedly a good thing. Or why it's somehow not totally creepy for father's to be so preoccupied with their daughter's sexuality. Or why we should be equipping teenagers to make decisions about sex that are good for them, instead of decisions that make their parents happy.

A slideshow/rundown of the show is available here:

http://drphil.com/shows/show/889/

I am mortified to admit that I watched that episode of Dr. Phil yesterday. The theme of the show was "Is This Normal?" To which, I think the answer is, if you have to ask, it's not. But anyway, other guests included a maniac girlfriend who spied 24/7 on her boyfriend. Obviously, not normal. Dr. Phil was pretty half-assed about condemning the notion of the purity ball, but I think they were running short on time. And what's he gonna do? Accuse the dad of being a creep with pedophilic tendencies? The two Stepford Daughters were equally creepy and seemed in love with Daddy Dearest. God knows where mom figures in the equation. Yuck.

why are we always surprised at Doctor Phil? I mean, wasn't he a pet project of Oprah? AND, if there is one person more responsible for the constant stereotyping of male behavior, and a sharp divide of the sexes, it woudl be her--oh, and her lap dogs.
Dr Phil is a sneaky chauvinist, and his terrible false and covertly standardized expectations of men are just plain destructive.

I caught that segment as well. Have you ever watched an argument or debate (in which you can't take part) where you have very strong opinions for one of the sides, yet you must admit afterwards that the other side totally won? Well, in great part because of the reasons explained by debbie above, this is exactly how I felt. It seems that Dr. Phil chose his "pro-purity" family very carefully, in that they were well-spoken, attractive, and quite charismatic. The other side was not well represented at all, and the issue was dealt with on the superficial level of “I think it’s important that fathers take an active role in their daughters’ lives�, which can scarcely be argued with.

I couldn't stand how many times they said the word "purity." Makes me sick.

There's nothing tainted or impure about a woman who has had sex. We're still 100% pure human beings.

roro80, I agree.

The "pro-purity" family is actually THE "pro-purity" family, the family that started it all -- or at least had one of the first:
http://www.generationsoflight.com/generationsoflight/html/About.html

I totally agree that the "other side" was not chosen reasonably at all.

It felt "stacked", as in when Fox News tends to make the Republican guests more attractive and eloquent and the Democrats stupid and unattractive and unable to talk their way out of a paper bag.

Ugh, I saw that segment. I've never seen such a group of dull-eyed brain -washed teenagers.
I think that Dr. Phil did say it was a little creepy. But people are right, the pro-purity ball side were really well represented while the opposition was pretty crappy & got very little time.
This movement really bothers me. My relationship with my father is very shaky--he sprained my arm when I was 16 & I stopped seeing him (My parents are divorced) until I was 19 or 20. I love him but I don't want my dad owning my virginity. I think that it's better in some cases to have no father than to have a bad father.
No one seems to be bringing this up but, is it really a good idea to be completely sexually inexperienced before your marriage? What if you both turn out to be completley sexually incompatable? I just think that we should accept that teenagers are going to have sex and encourage healthy sexual exploration.
Word to your mother, conservatives--sex is not the enemy. People wielding sex as a weapon are.

I can´t stand it why this Purity pressure is only put on the girls, it´s the same with rape, women are handed the responsability there too. It seems like men are just free floating in all this.

No one seems to be bringing this up but, is it really a good idea to be completely sexually inexperienced before your marriage? What if you both turn out to be completley sexually incompatable? I just think that we should accept that teenagers are going to have sex and encourage healthy sexual exploration.

Gasp, Moxie! I think you must be crypto-European with such a progressive attitude towards teenage S-E-X. For some reason, it's totally taboo here to say "Teenagers have sex, or will soon become adults who have sex. Let's help them make good decisions about it that are going to make them happy."

LoL nausicaa.
Blame my parents--they taught me that my self-worth doesn't reside in my hymen, which seems like a better message than, "If a boy touches you you're TAINTED!" If anyone had mentioned a purity ball to my parents they prolly would have made a joke about "balls" then laughed in their face.

i didn't watch the show, but that slideshow is puketastic. i could write a book about all that was wrong and/or disgusting in that recap.

but i will say that the douchebag king-of-the-purity balls did get one thing right: it's not about the daughters, it's about the fathers. it sure is. if it were about the daughters it would be about educating them so they can make intelligent decisions, learn from their mistakes, and forge their own way in the world. you know, like what sons are taught.

I hear ya on the gross slideshow, plenilune. I also missed the show, but this line from one of the guy's daughters stunned me:

"This culture is not my standard; my father is my standard because he tells me who I am to be in life."

WTF??? Pledging purity just took a dangerous fucking leap into the rest of this girl's life. He tells you who you are to be??? That is the most fucked up thing I've heard in a long time.

Moxie, you bring up a point that these people seem determined to brush aside. When I was in high school, a pro-abstinence group came in to talk to us, which was super creepy. One of my girlfriends got up and asked them, what if you marry someone and then find out afterward that you're sexually incompatible? I thought this was a very important, mature question to ask, and was very proud of my friend to bring it up. The pro-abstinence people laughed, and replied "C'mon guys, the parts fit." THAT was their answer. Ugh.

you know that quote?: "when authorities warn you about sex, there is one very important lesson to be learned. Do NOT have sex with authorities."

I think you can sort of substitute "puritans" for "authorities" there.

Of course the mother's don't pledge to protect their son's purity. Such a double standard.

I'd like to hire a neighbor boy to be my son for the night and show up at one of these balls.

In case y'all missed this:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9019249422941584807&q=CareNet+pregnancy

is it really a good idea to be completely sexually inexperienced before your marriage? games