It seems like a female-free activity of men rooting for sports played by other men allows them to openly display emotions among themselves for people they have never met. It also seems possible that this is largely single sex bonding and inclusion of more than a few women will restrain even this emotional display.

Hmm. I'm all for men breaking through gender boundaries, but I'm not sure the self-expression provoked by football is exactly an emotional catharsis (sp?). I would thing there would need to be a wider range of emotions, and for them to defy masculine expectations, they would need to be un-masculine emotions. Aggression and frustration have never been feminine emotions. Besides, I don't think they're breaking any norms unless they're talking about emotional origin or something. Expressing emotion through aggression is a very manly thing, hence domestic violence.

Regardless, I don't think this book she be cause for much worry. I don't see it making the bestsellers list.

Might I suggest something by Holly Robinson-Peete (yes, she used to be on 21 Jump Street!): Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game: A Woman's Guide to Loving Pro Football. I mean, it's not a very complicated game: just rugby with forward passes and 2 minutes between plays instead of continuous action.

And if I saw somebody cry during a football game, they would be mocked incessantly, assuming they are significantly smaller than or distant from me. Actually, freaking out over the hamstring injuries of strangers while not sending your own mother a get well card is a mild form of psychopathy.

Of course, being an unwilling Houston Texans fan, my current mood is generally: despairing :(

Considering the fact that yesterday's game had my boyfriend and I yelling "shit" and "fuck" every two minutes during the second half, I'd say that it's a good outlet for both men and women to "express our emotions". But a haven from masculine-free emotion? Nah. Don't think so.

Also, making football romantic? Please. I don't expect my boyfriend to get all huggy on me during a live concert (something I like just as much as football), and I sure as hell don't need affection when I have pizza, beer, and cake in front of me.

(go ahead and imagine scare quotes around any use of the words "feminine" and "masculine" in this, or derivations thereof. I'm not going to bother with the shift-apostrophe the whole time, but it's a given that I don't actually think emotional displays are the purview of women any more than men.)

We men are required to go through some sort of ritual obeisance to patriarchy any time that we need to let emotion out. Watching sports teams is one of these, as the feminine emotions are masculinized by proximity to oh-so-manly combat taking place on the screen.

Another of these little rituals is "getting in touch with one's feminine side". It's less masculine than emoting over sports, but still acceptable because the emotions are relegated to an inner woman who is, generally speaking, kept in line. The phrase is used as a joke by misogynists about feminization of our culture, but it's really just a way for men to pretend that we're not the ones that had those feelings.

Other little ritualized emoting happens with anything that's particularly male-affirming. Wars, births (sons, especially), etc.

Of course, I don't actually have a feminine side. If I watch a sad movie, and I cry, it's because I'm sad. The same side of me that cries at Beaches (maybe I have bad taste. Sue me.) is the same side that . . . does some traditionally masculine thing. I'm drawing a blank at the moment, but there's something, I'm sure. The point being that these are all ways of pretending that being overcome by emotion is womanly while allowing for that fact that men are human, and will be overcome themselves from time to time.

So, the analysis that football licenses men to express emotion is, to some extent, true. If someone has a real investment in their team, there's nothing wrong with that. It is problematic, though, as another compartment to put emotions in so that they don't really count.

If football watching is "masculine," my grandma is more of a man than I am.

While the book's selling point sounds like utter bullshit, the argument that football allows men to express emotions (a feminine-labeled behavior) is true. This includes not only joy and tears, but bonding with other men. (Even the occasional pat on the ass of another (straight) man is appropriate in some sports-contexts!) However these emotional displays are coupled with a sense of ritual attached to watching sports, esp. football, which creates one instance in our social lives which traditionally affords men "feminine" behavior with safe, "masculine" gloss.

So now it’s a safe haven for masculine-free behavior?

I'll buy that the first time I see a male football fan kiss another guy after a touchdown.

I wonder what does she do with couples like me and my husband: I'm the bigger football fan and know more about the game than he does.

And I nabbed my man by being "intellectually sexy" not football savvy. :)

every emotion possible?

I find it hard to believe that watching football allows access to every emotion possible. Don't get me wrong--I'm a baseball fan, and there are very emotional moments. But every emotion? Only if your potential array of emotions is very narrow indeed.

I'm so fucking happy my boyfriend hates football. Here's an idea for bonding; how about couples bond over activities they both like?

I don't think "every" emotion is okay in football -- for one thing, there's nothing in football that suggests, remotely, respect for/love for/emotion about women. So to the extent that men are allowed to express their emotions in football, they're doing it in a way that clearly emphasizes masculinity and male superiority. The only women that are a staple of football are the pretty cheerleaders. You don't see the football players talking about the cheerleaders with respect the way they do their teammates/opponents ("oh man, I was really feeling down when Bobby missed that touchdown pass. But I looked over and there was Jill, cheering her heart out and clapping for me, and I really rallied, you know?"). Football enforces male-ness. To the extent any non-masculine emotions are allowed (and there's very little -- most football emotions are excitement and aggression/frustration/anger), it's only in reference to other MEN. There's still a strong norm against showing emotion having anything to do with WOMEN. And we wonder why we have such a communication problem in relationships?

And I'm with the others who say there's nothing romantic about football. After three or four beers and a hamburger/bratwurst/etc., romance is about the LAST thing on my mind.

Oh yeah, and fuck the stupid Colts :P

Don't worry, Law Fairy, there are pioneers seeking to bridge the great pigskin gender divide:

"After running by cornerback Jason David (in front) and running away from safety Bob Sanders (in back), [Bengals receiver Chad Johnson] pointed to the crowd and sidelines. He went from the end zone to a Ben-Gals cheerleader, got down on one knee, asked her to marry him, and when she said, “Yes,� they kissed and it was only after the game he found out her name is Daphne, an account executive at Cincinnati radio stations Kiss 107 FM and Mix 94.1."

Maybe that's not what you had in mind.

Wow.

The funny thing is, her boyfriend's gonna be really pissed.

"Oh yeah, and fuck the stupid Colts :P"

Haha, Amen, Law Fairy.

I haven't watched a Super Bowl since I was 12 (Super Bowl XXIV, Broncos-49ers), and that was because it was pretty much mandatory in my house that year. I ate lots of junk food and tried very hard to be entertained. It didn't really work. Any woman who gets into football to snare Tom Head is going to be very disappointed, because Tom Head is bored out of his skull by the whole idea.

Mom and her partner love the Super Bowl, though. They watch it every year.

Cheers,

TH

Da Bears were fun in the 80s but during this Super Bowl, I was at the (empty) mall.

Norb-
1) On the crying bit, I have to ask, as a Texans fan would it induce tears if I were to link to Reggie Bush highlights?

2) Why use the fake proposal when you can use the real thing: (See: Ian Johnson after this years Fiesta Bowl-- quite possibly the best ending to a football game ever, literally like something out a movie.)

I honestly think that women knowing something about football would actually make many men feel threatened. I just cannot picture it going over well in the majority of cases.