Hey, there's a Booby Ball, why not a Slut Ball?

At my Slut Ball, everyone would dress however they wanted, and no one would criticise women for either being too sexy, or not sexy enough. And of course, there would be no rape apologists allowed.

I consider myself sexually autonomous, but I'm married (and faithful). Can I still go to the slut ball?

It would look like Prom, except it would be like the fun little alternative prom we had in Jr. High called MORP (prom backwards people) except for no chaperones (sp) telling the girls and the boys not to do the bumping and grinding and everyone would be wearing little pins saying what they're looking for for the night: One Night Stand, Weekend Stand, A top, A bottom, Both, I like spanking, I like to be spanked. I like girls, I like boys, I like both! You get the picture...

There would be rainbow flags everywhere and people treating people like, *gasp* ADULTS. There would be bowls of condoms and lube instead of punch (but don't fret! there will be punch and pie!) and there would be an understanding that everyone has a right to say "No" and to go home how they see fit.

And sex in the champagne room is allowed.

Ummm, lunch with the my friends? Because we are sexually autonomous, we do talk about it (sometimes even over lunch) but it really is not that much of a big deal.

Of COURSE, Barbara! As long as you consider yourself sexually autonomous, which I'm guessing you do. And feel free to bring your sexually autonomous husband/wife as well.

My guess is it would look like, oh, pretty much EVERY PARTY WORTH GOING TO THAT WAS EVER HELD.

I mean, as far as I'm concerned, every party I host is a Slut Party. If two of my friends want to go home together, good for them. If I want someone to stay over (and he wants to), good for us. If no one wants to sleep with anyone that night, good for everyone.

My God what a little slut I am!

I went to the post and read the comments, and I chortled when I read this one:

Understand your point about the gender/sexist thing. However, the sexist notion is just feminist dogma. These Purity Balls are (to my knowledge) Christian sponsored events, and according to the Christian faith, the father is the head of the household (hey, don't have to like it, but God instituted it that way), and the primary responsibility for leading the family falls to him. (Written by the same guy who proposed the slut ball.)

I bet this guy doesn't do everything that the Bible(TM) tells him. Only the things that fit with his patriarchal view of the world.

who would your date be? based on the purity/integrity ball model, it would have to be someone with a sick, misguided investment of some sort in your sluttiness. who would that be? oh, probably the people who benefit from your sexual free will, by which i mean the partner of your choosing. doesnt that sound like a much more fun date than your mom or dad?

kathryn, except that at the Slut Ball, you don't have to have a date. Sexual autonomy means the option to never ever have sex, if you don't want to, and to never ever get married, because you're autonomous. Unlike these poor girls who are raised to think they amount to nothing without a husband.

Wouldn't a slut ball just look like most halloween parties?

I absolutely love the post and all these comments. I needed a little after-lunch humor. UltraMagnus - That is the best idea ever: no worries about misconstruing someone's intentions; it's written right there for everyone to see.

I think we should definitely host one, and all proceeds could go to viable, comprehensive sex ed where women are women, men are men and cars are, well, cars.

"And sex in the champagne room is allowed."

I've just found Feministing, and I'm falling in love with all of you! MWAH!

If I wanna be sexually autonomous, can I wear a short skirt and a shirt that says "Askin' for it"? That's what all 'sluts' are really like, right?

I'm not quite sure what a Slut Ball would look like, but I'd definitely go to one, even though I'm a virgin!

FEMily, you slut! How dare you flaunt your autonomy!

;)

I think everyone at the Slut Ball should go stag...that way it's a little easier to slut it up with strangers...or slut i up by yourself...or not slut it up at all, if that be your perogative.

I think the charity event is a great idea. fantastic. that way we can all give it up (or not) for the betterment of socity.

Till get this planned I'm gonna keep on living everyday like it's a Slut Ball.

I think everyone at the Slut Ball should go stag...that way it's a little easier to slut it up with strangers...or slut it up by yourself...or not slut it up at all, if that be your perogative.

I think the charity event is a great idea. fantastic. that way we can all give it up (or not) for the betterment of socity.

Till we get this planned I'm gonna keep on living everyday like it's a Slut Ball.

What about champagne in the sex room?

i'm gonna wear my white (okay, off-white) wedding dress and my glittery red shoes... k ?

And i really think it would be a great idea to host one of these for charity... donating the proceeds to sensible sex education sounds like a plan to me !

I have a friend whose college had annual events like "Dress to Get Laid Night" and the "The Transvestite Ball"--I should drop him an email and pick his brain for ideas...

Invitations to a Slut Ball would feature groupings of happy people of all sexes, genders, orientations, and numbers, happily dancing, flirting, snogging, and just plain talking, and a copy of the Real Consent Manifesto.

The dress code would be "Whatever makes you feel sexy."

It would have great food, great drinks, great music, great dancing, niches and nooks for private conversation, and a web page where people could post their pre-Ball hopes and post-Ball stories (How do you hope to slut it up, aka celebrate your sexual autonomy, and with whom? How did you slut it up, and with whom?)

It would have a backrub room. It would also, sadly, have a Designated Decorum Moderator (pink boa optional), whose function would be to remind anyone who needed reminding that sexual autonomy includes the right to say "That's enough, thanks."

Me thinks it'd feature just a huge bunch of women (since, apparently, guys can't be sluts, they can just be "lacking integrity"), dressing in a sexy fashion and drinking lots of alcohol and dancing to good music, freely doing whatever makes them happy without being inhibited by what guys will think of them.

And---this is the unbelievable part, because of all the scantily-dressed women and the alcohol and the party---not one of them will be raped. Because it's for sluts only, no guys. Because they can't be sluts, they can only be "lacking integrity." Or "players," depending on who you ask. So they can't come. (Well, they can, but they can't at the Slut Ball.)

Condoms and emergency contraceptives on the buffet table!

go to Cake.com and you will see pics of a real slut ball. their parties are SO MUCH fun! Slut ball, i say lets do iit

whoops cakenyc.com.

i've heard weird things about Cake parties, but i've never been to one.

katie, i assume from your comment that you've been to one...enlighten me....please.

Sorry. I can't make it.

Busy that night.

I have been to one about two years ago. It's pretty crazy and what i would imagine a slut ball would look like. half dressed men and women dancing, booze, crazy costumes. everyone just livin it up doing their own thing. definitly not for the conservative. the cake people just wrote a book on female sexuality, i havent read it but supposedly its good.

ok, i looked at the pictures from past cake parties and i think the Feministing Slut Ball could be better.

while the cake party looks like fun, it seems to be a very contrived representation of female sexuality: i.e. it's cool to be slutty if you're skinny, pretty, made-up, and look like porn stars.

while i disagree with Kyra's comment that men shouldn't be invited because they can't be slutty, i think it's a little weird that all the men at the cake parties seem to be of a certain economic status.

i want a Slut ball for real people...not just unbelievably beautiful ones.

but i'm not meaning to bag on your endorsement of them, katie, like i said, i've never been to one so this is all conjecture.

well, those are mostly the performers. i am far from perfect and beautiful and i managed to have fun. personally, i wouldnt want to see me or anyone who looks like me on a stage performing in a skimpy outfit;) the men definitly arent all from a certain economic status, and there are many races represented interestingly enough. if anything, i would say most people who go are the starvin artist/blogger/freakshow types. but really, thats just what i think of when i think of a slut ball, but i am pretty sure feministing could improve should they decide to. i say go for it.

Slut balls = every college party I went to when I was a Theater major. At least for me...

A purity ball is a ceremony involving a public declaration of intent to preserve one's virginity as a tangible commodity until it is "given" to a future spouse.

The opposite of that would be based on the premise that my sexual activities are nobody's damn business, so a Slut Ball would not exist as a public ceremony. A Slut Ball would be whenever I had consensual sex with a partner(s) of my choosing in the manner of my choosing, without third-party scrutiny, and without the movements and physical states of my genital tissues becoming a matter of public record.

But that's probably too esoteric for the virginity police, so, yeah, let's all just leather up and have a big ole party.

I'd join you in the Slut Ball, but Georgia would have a fit...

At my Slut Ball, there would be a special room for a paper shredder. Next to the shredder would be piles and piles of forms that have the option to check "male" or "female," but not "other." Any kind of forms, applications, insurance, whatever. We could shred them up and then use them as confetti on the dance floor.

We have something similar in our college (dorms). It's called "Shagfest", it's a yearly tradition, and it's as close to a Bacchanalian orgy as you could get without any actual sex.

Having a Slut Ball to raise awareness of sexual safety, health, and education, and raising funds for related charities, seems like a grand idea. The Women's Group at our uni organized a Women's Night last semester (it had a better name...) and apparently it had performances, speeches, songs, dances, burlesque, what have you. Hmm...*mental cogs spinning*

There would have to be a pledge of some sort. A promise to do whatever you want with your vagina and uterus and boobies and penises or whatever.

::de-lurking::

I haven't heard of the Real Consent Manifesto before - could someone point me to a copy online?

Frequent reader, but my first comment. This was just too good to be shy about.

I would totally go to a party like this, especially for charity, if only there was one in my backwards conservative little town. I agree with what you all say about what it would look like. Only thing I've got to add would be the election of a Slut Court, based on "anti-purity" ideals--perhaps your knowledge of safe sex practices--and pledges that your virginity (or lack thereof) is no one else's damn business.

I love how there are apparently only two possible options: a pure and chaste virgin, probably dressed in a flowing white gown; and a rampant slut that mounts anything and everything. Madonna or whore, there is no option (c).

Hmm. In terms of near-sex or pre-sex or even sex bacchnalian orgies on college campuses, check out Brown University's "Sex Power God" party. It was quite spankin' - until Bill O'Reilly snuck in a producer and put up the footage on Fox News. (Without blurring the student's faces. Unethical journalism, by all means.)

>>and everyone would be wearing little pins saying what they're looking for for the night: One Night Stand, Weekend Stand, A top, A bottom, Both,

The website is in French (although the bracelets aren't), but a friend of mine made bracelets like that to hand out at parties.

>>and everyone would be wearing little pins saying what they're looking for for the night: One Night Stand, Weekend Stand, A top, A bottom, Both,

The website is in French (although the bracelets aren't), but a friend of mine made bracelets like that to hand out at parties.

I went to the DC Matzah Ball this Christmas Eve and it basically was what you might call a "Get Laid" ball for singles. (In this case mostly Jewish, although not entirely Jews).

The first hour I was there I realized how uncomfortable I was, since it was the most blantant "meat market" I've ever been to that wasn't actually selling meat. Sure every college party is kind of like that, but typically not 100% of people at a college party are single and looking.

But the weird reversal for me is that when I go out for smaller private parties or nights out with the girls I'm *always* looking around for someone to mack on. I don't know why a party built on the concept of macking made me skittish. Maybe the difference between feast or famine? (Most small parties I go there there's only one cute guy and he's often taken). But in any case Ann if someone in the DC area wants to throw an ironically-named Slut Ball I will help out. I'm underployed as it is...

I am consistently amazed by just how much these people hate men. They think that men, particularly young men, are wild animals, irrational creatures that lose 100 IQ points the second they get an erection, and immoral beings who don't care about respecting half the human race.

I beg to differ. Guys can be sluts. There are times when one must focus sluttiness on one partner. However all that training need not go to waste....

this seems like another manifestation of that smarmy cultural binary: man does / woman is.
it implies that women are to be cherished and protected, but men are responsible in realms such as law and personal accountability.

Here is the little thing you can say:

I, (name), choose before all to be myself and act as my own authority and protection in the area of greatness. I will be awesome in my own life as a woman, feminist, and mother (if I choose to be). I will be a woman of integrity and accountability as I lead and guide. This covering will be used by me to influence generations to come......

adjusted from:

I, (daughter’s name)'s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.