And I thought "Little Red Recycling Hood" was cheesy...

That is the coolest song EVER!

Oh, wait. It's not satire?

I don't know about you guys, but I don't really worry about "what disease is in my underwear tonight," as I usually remove my panties before I have hot unmarried nonprocreative sex with my partner.

But, of course, if you're abstinent and willfullyl ignorant, you probably don't want to understand the mechanics of sex, so I can see how it would be confusing.

WOW. That was appallingly stupid. Those poor, brain-washed children.

I get it.. so just don't wear underwear, right? Or at least not when you want to do it.

Or maybe the message is: Throwing oversized tighty-whiteys over your shoulder is the way to get chicks?

Underwear? I thought it was all about the stilsuits!

In any event, life after TV has not been too kind to the Apple from the old Fruit of the Loom commercials, although he appears to have lost a good deal of weight.

I don't even understand the message. I wish we could view it from beginning to end... although I should be careful what I wish for.

Do they think wedding rings cure STDs? The girl's going to have HPV whether you screw before or after prematurely marrying her.

Gah! These are the same people who bemoan the 50% divorce rate (when they're not battling the "gay agenda"). There wouldn't be nearly as many divorces if people didn't get married too young to the wrong people for the wrong reasons (like family/government/social pressure)!

"I get it.. so just don't wear underwear, right? Or at least not when you want to do it."

This is the message I got. ...So I went and took them off.

I hate using this little face, but its my only reaction:
o_O

It's so horrible, it's awe envoking. Were the people high while making this? Surely it was for kids, because no adult would ever sit through that. Do they actual think kids would believe this crap? Had I been there, I'd be sitting in the back with my friends, making fun of it.

It's HPV! That's what's in there.

However, the songwriter deserves some credit for saying "... he never thinks about his future wife." I'm so sick of the ruined-flower feminine abstinence metaphor that disregards men's premarital sexual experiences. It's almost refreshing to hear someone out there acknowledge male virginity as a commodity too, if we're gonna commodify it in the first place.

I agree with your point, cycles. The abstinence-til-marriage message is usually aimed at females. "Think of your future husband, think of your daddy, yada yada yada."
That, and only that, is refreshing about this song.

I have E. coli in my undies. Damm tacos!

I have narcissistic personality disorder in my underwear.

I don't know whether to laugh or to feel cry that our teens are being brainwashed by this nonsense.

This is something that will get these kids hired in the future when looking for gainful employment. Resume bullet: "I played syphillis in high school".

Damn that is just plain weird

I'd like to think they were being progressive with the reference to future wives and so forth...but I think it's actually about as progressive as them saying "You (or at least your intact hymen) are a beautiful rose..." etc. and calling it "empowering" to girls because they're teaching them how "valued" they are.
I suspect they made the boy the protagonist just to illustrate why young men should stay away from those filthy sluts with their dirty, diseased vaginas. Because obviously a good, pure virgin girl wouldn't be willing to put out, so if Mr. Tighty Whities is sleeping around, it's gotta be with the sluts, right? The dirty, nasty sluts with not one but three STDs--for the trifecta!
Obviously the "future wife" he should be thinking of is one who will come to her wedding night complete with a disease-free, original-factory-sealed and shrink-wrapped vagina.

Either way, I smirked at this until I realized this is what passes for sex ed these days. Now I'm rather depressed...

I love how the boy is the innocent bystander and the girls are all infected already. Although I wish I could see the whole thing to get a clearer view.

That's it. I'm never wearing underwear again.
/snark

Stupidest crap. I remember in high school sitting through crappy shows where the varsity football team stood on the stage and the cheerleaders (our colors were black and white) would rub their hands up and over their bodies and do a little strip tease. They would turn a blacklight on so their gloves would appear to be glowing in the dark, and would make the impression of phantom hands over their bodies. This was only about 4 years ago.