Well, it's hardly a Footloose-level emergency.

damn, what year is this? i coulda sworn i was in the 90's for a second. or even the 50's when the "twist" came out

My niece, 14, just graduated from Middle School and she has quite a well developed feminist consciousness for someone so young. She's told about seeing really vulgar things at Middle School dances--particularly the kind of role-play dances that involve treating the girls like the Grand Theft Auto Prostitutes--such as "grind and bitch-slap," "Make Her Pant Like Dog," and "Stripper Pole"--where you're supposed to use a boy like a stripping pole.

So, is this "conservative" reactionary thinking or a balanced and responsible reaction to the well being of all students--including teaching girls to respect themselves? I don't think that a dance in which girls are normatively treated like sex-workers is good for anyone--and if a Christian happens to agree with me, well, isn't that nice that we can at some level agree? I don't think that its too important to focus on who agrees with you and why their reasoning might be objectionable--its important to look at what is going on.

I don't think that canceling dances is the best way to go either. More chaperones, security, and teachers present who actually take students who perform (or participate in the case the male students as pimp/pole) offensive dances needs to be swift and sure. Perhaps having a couple guest dancers come into school dances and have special lesson dances--like Salsa, Mambo, Ball-Room folks could volunteer and every 10th song could be a lesson song and students could learn how to actually dance, that would be nice. Yes, dancing is flirtation, seduction even, but the kind of grinding and stripping that is going on today has totally take the art of it--I've always thought the kind of lame dancing that goes on in clubs/frat houses in adulthood is due to our lack of actually learning to dance in youth. Dancing is good, but playing prostitute and mock-stripping should not be normative.

peace

As with most things kids want to do, forbidding dancing would only drive it underground. As in Dirty Dancing: "The kids are doing in the basements back home."

But not "seeing girls playing out, or being forced to play out, sexually submissive roles" seems like something you ladies should be all about.

Wow. If only this were happening in a place where responsible adults could take on the responsibility of mentoring children in things like gender studies and feminism. Like, a place where kids could be taught about what's wrong with the forced submission of women and the problems that crop up in a patriarchy.

What's that, you say?

Oh.

I agree with Heather. Please someone teach kids how to dance.

I no longer go to heterosexual clubs because inevitably some man I don’t like and want nothing to do with comes up behind me and tries to grind. And I am obliged to use foul language and threat of bodily harm to get him away from me. Yuck! I don’t think this is a prudish response. If someone did this to me on the subway, I could have him arrested. And what these poor Middle School girls are reporting is far worse.

Although the way partner dancing is taught tends to create too much of a gender binary for me, I still think it can do a world of good. The film “Mad Hot Ballroom� is an interesting example. As a general rule North Americans don’t know how to dance with a partner. But traveling in both Central America and France where partner dancing still exists (in France they do this kinda “Saturday Night Fever� and twirl you around a lot),well, those places aren’t exactly bastions of gender equality.

Most of the heterosexual North American men I know have a taboo about dancing. They are afraid of it, and I think they are missing out big time on the delight of just moving to music and interacting with others. So my question is: how could dance education be used to foster cooperation between male and female students? There seem to be many programs to get girls to play sports, why not programs to get boys to dance?

I agree with Heather. Please someone teach kids how to dance.

I no longer go to heterosexual clubs because inevitably some man I don’t like and want nothing to do with comes up behind me and tries to grind. And I am obliged to use foul language and threat of bodily harm to get him away from me. Yuck! I don’t think this is a prudish response. If someone did this to me on the subway, I could have him arrested. And what these poor Middle School girls are reporting is far worse.

Although the way partner dancing is taught tends to create too much of a gender binary for me, I still think it can do a world of good. The film “Mad Hot Ballroom� is an interesting example. As a general rule North Americans don’t know how to dance with a partner. But traveling in both Central America and France where partner dancing still exists (in France they do this kinda “Saturday Night Fever� and twirl you around a lot),well, those places aren’t exactly bastions of gender equality.

Most of the heterosexual North American men I know have a taboo about dancing. They are afraid of it, and I think they are missing out big time on the delight of just moving to music and interacting with others. So my question is: how could dance education be used to foster cooperation between male and female students? There seem to be many programs to get girls to play sports, why not programs to get boys to dance?

What ever happened to dancing alone? Partner dancing's fun and all, but why can't a group of people just get together and be surrounded by good music that their bodies individually respond to with movement? A few years ago, I did competitive latin ballroom dancing and that was a hell of a lot of fun but really, you can't escape that gender binary [especially when the description of one dance, the paso doble, is that the woman is the cape of the matador] and it's not like you can whip out a rhumba routine at your club with the first cute dude you see. I don't go to clubs anymore because I don't want some sketchy dude's crotch on my butt, but I have been known to go to "rave" dances where people dance by themselves for the most part. In situations like that, it's about creating a sense of music/movement community and interacting with people of all genders that have the same interests as you do. Sketchballs are rarely tolerated.

I'm only 19, and I remember middle school dances really vividly. Half the time, the "popular" girls and boys were rubbing their barely-developed bodies all over each other and imitating the sex that they'd never even had, and the other half of the time the teachers were yelling at them for doing so. Looking back on it, I don't really see why someone would [disregarding social norms and expectations] want to do that at a dance with someone that you have no interest in and don't plan on sleeping with... and you're 11 years old.

Aw, link no workee.

Not having read the article, my take on this is that while people freaking out over couples dancing too close together or shaking their hips back in the 50s was excessive, the fact is that the envelope keeps getting pushed farther and farther, and now, half a century later, what passes for dancing is far more sexual, and I'm not sure that's a good thing, at least not when kids who aren't really old enough to have sex are emulating "dances" that essentially pantomine sex.
However, I don't see why the response has to be to shut down the dances entirely. Even in the 50s the response wasn't that extreme--instead they had chaperones (sometimes even walking around with rulers to ensure that couples weren't dancing too close) placing restrictions on how "far" the kids went. Are adults so lazy now when it comes to dealing with children that they think the only options are black and white, either let them do whatever they want, or else lock them in a cage? It's called adult supervision, people! Honestly...

I'm in full support of teaching the kids how to dance, but so long as you have the bump-'n-grind, pimps&'hos attitude be the dominant factor in musical pop culture, I have my doubts regarding whether or not the kids will be samba-ing along to the music

I have to agree with Heather and others... I understand where they're coming from with this. Far be it from me to be prudish about not exposing kids to the facts about sexuality... but the type of dancing that goes on in clubs (which I suspect is mirrored by the dancing these kids are doing) is sexist and demeaning. Modern dance clubs have turned into *slightly* tamer versions of strip clubs. And the women are playing right into it.

Like capucine, I stopped liking straight clubs long ago because I don't like being groped by strange men unless I specifically indicate that's what I want. I'll be dancing with a group of my girlfriends and suddenly some guy is humping my ass. WTF?? The worst part is, whenever I'm with a group of friends, there will always be one or two who enjoy the attention, and then we can never ditch the losers.

In college, I got into swing dancing, and I cannot recommend traditional partner dancing highly enough. Yes, the leads and follows are traditionally segregated by gender, but most places are not at all strict about this. I used to dance at the VFW in uber-conservative Colorado Springs every Sunday night, and you would OFTEN see men dancing with men or women dancing with women, or men and women switching between lead and follow. It wasn't about adhering to gender roles; it was about becoming skilled in BOTH sides of the dance. Even people in a conservative town felt no need to mandate that women always follow and men always lead. Both genders were encouraged to learn both halves of the dance. Similarly, the code of conduct is that everyone dances with everyone. It's antisocial to keep to yourself and only dance with one partner. Dancing is fun and friendly and, while it can certainly be flirtatious, it doesn't have to be. It's great exercise and it requires practice and skill. The people I danced with danced because they loved dancing. It was about the art, the skill, the fun. If sex came into the picture, it was later -- no one felt the need to parade his/her sex life in front of everyone else there. Call me old-fashioned, but I MUCH prefer this attitude to the horrific grinding that passes for "dancing" nowadays (and I'm only 25!).

I can't add too much that hasn't already been said: Dancing tends to be sexual in nature and I'm not surprised that junior-high and high-school age kids are adopting or creating much, much more explicit dance moves. There's usally some drift that occurs over time, with the younger generation adopting attitudes and behaviors that make the older ones uncomfortable.

That being said, the objectification that appears to be happening in parallel is absolutely intolerable. From Heather Nan's comments, the "grind and bitch-slap," etc. dances sound awful. Anything that objectifies either sex, particularly at such a young age in such a social arena, is bad and must be stopped. Stopping dances outright is probably not the answer--education is. And since it's school dances where this is happening, you would think that some sort of pro-active solution could be formulated. It wouldn't "solve" the problem, since its roots lie in our society and culture, but it could alleviate some of the more severe symptoms.

Swing dancing would be a great substitute for the bump n grind style mashings that are popular today. Really rudimentary swing is so easy to teach, however teaching kids dancing in schools will never become mainstream. You might see dancing clubs, with 1-2% student body enrollment, or you might see a passing nod to dance at gym class, but setting aside other courses at the expense of dance? Never.
I don't think it would really solve anything anyway, until you address the underlying issues of why there is such a power descrepancy between the male female roles then you're just going to see the same undertones with the swing dancing, only now the girl will likely be upside down half the time.

It is too bad most north american men find dancing to be taboo. Though, while the rest of the men shudder in time with the music with a beer in one hand, men that take the time to learn to dance are the darlings of the dance floor, so I'm not going to be too vocal in persuading my peers to learn.

ha ha I thought my "kids need to learn to dance in Gym class!" idea was going to be UNIQUE!

I took "folk dancing" as a PE elective in high school and I can tell you BEYOND a SHADOW of a DOUBT that OUR culture totally stinks in the whole DANCE arena.

Dancing dance steps is FUN; you get to be close to the other sex without it being gross; it's good exercise and it's FUN and EVERYONE should learn to dance actual dances. ESPECIALLY kids.

And no "dirty dancing". That is just completely gross.

Back to Square Dancing for the hard cases

Learning social dance (swing, salsa, cha cha cha, merengue [if you can walk, you can merengue]) was the high point of the last decade for me. I wish I'd learned as a kid. Dancing is less about sex when there are some basic steps to learn and it would have made sock-hops a helluva a lot less awkward. My experience was similar to TLF, especially w/ swing. The grown ups who want to go clubbing need to find actual DANCE clubs that exist soley so people can (drink and) dance w/ partners. The kids, well, I bet the adults who run these dances could move away from the bitch/slap and into an actual dance event if they would invest some time in getting the music (and the instructors) right. Most DJs for hire for parties play undance-able crap.

kmt, great point about learning basic dance steps itself being fun. I know they've recently started recommending Dance Dance Revolution to help combat obesity, which is a GREAT idea. I use it for cardio a lot because I HATE running/other forms of cardio, but DDR is FUN!

Similarly, I think incorporating partner dance into gym classes, as long as it was not done in a sexist manner (hahahaha, listen to me the optimist), would be a great way to teach kids to be respectful of each other while having fun. Sitting in an etiquette class is boring. Participating in a dance class? Way fun.

Maybe this is just me being a product of my generation... I grew up with movies like Swing Kids, I was in school during the big swing revival in the 90s, I listened to Brian Setzer driving to my high school job, etc. Geez, I can't believe I'm already an old fogey.

I saw this kind of 'dancing' working at summer camp - it is *not* Dirty Dancing's dirty dancing...

The boys were mainly lined up, leaning against the wall and moving any part of their bodies except their hips, grinding into the asses of the girls pressed up against them. The girls were slightly more mobile than the boys, but I don't know if I would call their motions dancing either. There wasn't really any partner changing either.

Standards for dancing change, and once upon a time waltzing was considered to risque for nice girls. But that doesn't mean there should be no standards at all. I do think dancing should mean something different from communal outercourse

I live in Mexico. At festivals and open parties, I see women dancing salsa together quite a bit when they dont have a male partner. I also take lessons at which the male instructor can teach the female steps and the female instructor can also teach the male steps. It does not have to be so gender rigid.

Besides, it is much more respectful than they kind of dancing that goes on in clubs in the U.S., and it is much easier to get rid of a partner that you dont want to dance with.

I have to express skepticism about the benefits of dance class. I had to take folk/square/ballroom dancing in high school as a gym requirement and it was exactly like every other gym class I had to take. The athletic, co-ordinated kids did well and then made fun of the rest of us, and I, who can barely walk down the hall without tripping over my own feet, was paralyzed into a state of self-conscious misery, made all the worse by being forced to partner up with some appalling boy my age, who usually was nasty to me and I wanted nothing to do with. It was not fun. I did not enjoy it. I did not learn to dance. In fact, part of the fall-out was that I refused to dance in public for many years, until I was in my late 20s and realized I didn't have to care what those wretched children thought of me. To a certain extent, teenagers are mean and nasty to each other, and no dance class in the world is going to change that.

Now granted, this is beside the point, because I was not the kid dirty-dancing at the school dances. I was the kid whose mother made her go to one or two school dances, and who brought a book with her and sat in the corner and read until she could finally leave, and whose mother finally gave up and let her do what she liked, which was reading.

But realistically, I think that adult attempts to police kids' dancing are doomed to failure. It reinforces a power dynamic far more blatant to your average 13-year-old than sexism: the adult-child power dynamic. Children are arguably the most disenfranchised class in the world, and acting out through dancing and sexual display is a fairly time-honored way that kids rebel against that disempowerment. While I'm not a fan of 13-year-old girls stripper dancing, it sounds to me like a symptom rather than a problem, and I second the poster who suggested teaching opportunities about gender. Though that's equally unrealistic, isn't it?

A have lots of thoughts but my primary one is that these are great opportunities to open a dialog with the boys about what constitutes abuse, about negative cultural stereotypes about women and about not abusing girls sexually ever in any way. That is NEVER how these things play out, though. It is always up to the girls to resist and not to perpetrate.

Our culture will never change until we make it NOT OK for boys to harass or assault girls.

Thanks for letting me share my dream in your space.

I am a high school teacher and see the "dancing" that is being mentioned in this article every day. I agree with the principal who is quoted above. A lot of the comments made here have talked about teaching the kids how to dance "for real". It's not that the kids don't have the talent to dance in another way, its that they don't care to learn. They are simply imitating what they see on television.

While there is a certain amount of free expression that is involved in dancing, I don't think what these principals and school officials are talking about in any way compares to the Twist or anything else. Seeing girls with their hands on the floor in front of them with a guy banging his crotch into her ass somewhat to the beat of the music doesn't really constitute dancing.

I don't feel very articulate today, but a lot of what goes on in schools when it comes to dancing is far from appropriate whether it's the girls or the guys doing it. Simulating sex acts, whoever is dominate in the situation, has no place in school.

Obviously we want to first of all make sure that dances are safe places where nobody is being abused or coerced in any way that it is possible to ensure this. Then I agree with those above that the school should actually TALK about their concerns with students. Have their teachers, counselors, whoever, tell them it is totally normal and ok and natural to be really interested in sex and in exploring sexuality at this time (yes, even this young. even though socially we have tried to delay and deny sexuality as much as possible I do not think 5th or 6th grade is too young to start talking about it), and nobody's "in trouble" for feeling sexy at dances. Then the grown up needs to say this is what concerns us, these are gender roles and this is how they get formed and these are the consequences. That rape happens, and sexual abuse and assault and harrassment happen (not only in dances but in locker rooms and bedrooms and cars and parks, just those places don't have as many parents around), and it's not always because girls are slutty or boys are aggressive or like to hurt. In many cases it is because kids just aren't equipped with ways to deal with their sexuality and all the conflicting messages that are hard enough for a thirty year old with a PhD in sexuality to figure out, they aren't talking openly about it, there is a huge amount of shame and of course kids are gonna be acting out any taboos possible. So I think there should be a school conference, and lots of talks in classrooms about what it means to be sexual, if it's dangerous for women to act submissive sexually, and why, and what the kids think about it. Workshops and speakers and videos and role playing. Cancelling dances and punishing kids for acting out things that we are all struggling with, with no real adult support or processing, just seems cruel and like the adults are acting out their own anxieties on the kids. So I guess the dance class suggestion is good in the sense that it gives kids some structure to deal with wanting to be close to people in a different way from before. But they probably won't want to do that kind of dancing to their music; if you can figure that out you should definitely do it.

I agree with much of what has been said, but like Vanessa I'm not sure the problem is nessacarily the dance moves, but what results in them (assults, groping and general mistreatment of the girls). Perhaps we should try to leave behind the culture of the bump and grind, but that may not take place before we start talking to kids about gender equality and the rights each one of them has to their own bodies and the responsibilty they have toward one another. I know from my own schooling (about 3 years ago now) I was told almost nothing about sexual assault, and what I was told was basically blaming the women if she can't say no loud enough or whatever crap they tell you to do to prevent rape and sexual assualt, and never ever talked about the boys and their responsibilities. Education before these dances take place needs to happen, and with that education the dances (even if they are full of bump and grind) can happen in a more respectful and responsible way.

Also, the bump and grind (the dance most people at "clubs" dance) can be a fun activity, but like most things you do need respect on both sides, a partner that does more then just stand there, and learning how to dance to the beat is also very important (like in most dances). Although finding these things together can be very difficult.

I'm on the Student Council at my school, and we've been struggling with the issue of inappropriate dancing a lot this year.
I would like to point out that when we're discussing what we don't like, the conversation tends to look at the girls as being the victims of harrassment (in fact, one of the girls on the council was grabbed from behind by someone she didn't know... and who refused to let go for a while...). Otherwise, we speak of it in terms of offending couples. So, at least at my school, we are not labelling the girls as being the sole troublemakers. That said, the restriction on the dances would hopefully be a restriction on students expressing their sexualities. This is not because StuCo doesn't want to see anyone's purity violated but because we feel that a public school is not the place to be expressing your sexuality explicitly, especially when the allowance of such expression makes it easier for harrassment and assault to occur on the dancefloor unnoticed.
Furthermore, while most dances are somewhat sexual, the dances we're seeing are more dry humping in rhythm to music than any kind of dance. Individualism and mature, acceptable displays of sexuality do not have to be compromised in order to dance appropriately.
While I would jump up and down and pee my pants with joy if my school was to conduct a seminar on gender issues to bring awareness of the damage caused by degrading dances to students, I highly doubt it would happen. Slightly more likely, though still unfortunately unlikely, is the possibility of mandatory dancing lessons.

Some ideas we are trying are these:
1)Change the music played at the dance. I hate to put all hip-hop in a box, but it seems like most of what gets the mainstream attention in that genre is degrading to women and to people of color in general. These songs are the ones that get played on the radio, and consequently get played at dances (at my school, almost nothing else is played). They are designed to facilitate highly sexualized "dancing" and often to objectify women. We're trying to open up the playlist of our DJ to a bigger variety of music (that hopefully the kids will figure out how to dance to), such as swing, country, electronica, and other danceable music. We're keeping it about 50% hip-hop, to ease the transition, but we're making sure all the songs, from all genres, are relatively clean.
2)We're considering using a punishment or reward system. For example, we might put all students at a dance on a list, and if they make it through the dance without being written up for dancing inappropriately, they don't have to go to study hall one day on the next week. We're also considering kicking offenders out of the dance, giving them detention, revoking their prom tickets, or several other punitive measures. This would be preceded, of course, by extensive announcements about what will be tolerated at dances and what will not be. There will also be a warning or two given to students at the first few dances we implement this strategy, if we choose to do so. A less likely, but more desirable option, is that offenders will have to take a mandatory partner-dancing class (without polarized gender roles, I assure you).
3)Dance contests. This is a fairly new idea that has been thrown out there, but we've considered reserving three songs of difference styles during the dance for competition. The new guidelines for appropriate dancing would be in effect, of course.
4)Actually enforcing the school rules that are in place. We have rules against inappropriate dancing, but the teachers and chaperones seem to embarrassed to go grab a student who is breaking the rules and tell him or her to quit rubbing his or her genitals on someone else. So we have rules, but all the students know that the rules are a joke. If they would just be enforced for once, a lot of kids might clean up their acts.

I have more, but I don't think anyone is going to read it, so I'll quit. But if you have any suggestions, please, e-mail me! At marzipan882@yahoo.com

Thanks, and I

Well I think makes perfect sense. All stereo systems and music making devises are owned by schools, so canceling school dances will completely eliminate any risk of sexy dancing.

Like I said, it makes perfect sense.

Well, we don't want to cancel them completely because a)we want to give the kids a chance with new rules in place and b)the revenue we get from dances pays for our homecoming and winter homecoming coronation assemblies.
The students would probably get very angry if we cancelled the dances and coronation out of the blue without giving them a chance to shape up their act while knowing the consequences.

freakin' aint going nowhere.

i dont think its particuarly harmful in itself either. the real problem i think is when it stops being consensual dancing and the guy starts getting grabby. which is where the "respect the ladies" should come in, but sadly guys are taught to pretty much not respect women showing sexuality, which is why this is such a hard thing to deal with (especially in middle school, where they just copy what adults do). i like dancing like that and have never met another girl who likes danceing to dislike it too (and since i was in middle school in 1998, im also talking of my experiance with school dances). but its when the guy comes up and starts grabbing your ass and otherwise showing disrespect is when they need to take responsibility for there actions.

Leb, I think your ideas are fantastic and incredibly proactive. I really hope there are lots more high schoolers like you. Keep up the good work, and thanks for sharing!

I recall being really uncomfortable dancing with one of my male friends (who is still a good friend) in high school when he suggested that dancing was supposed to be like simulated sex, but without touching. Thank God for that last part. As a 15-year-old girl, I didn't quite have the resources yet to say no, not even to one of my friends.
I'm betting that neither middle- or high-school-aged party in "freaking" really understands what's at stake , but I guarantee that the guy gets it more than the girl. After all, what's being communicated there is that he's in control, because he's acting like he's screwing a completely submissive woman up the ass. And the girl is on all fours, taking it. It's designed to make not only submission, but assault look and feel socially acceptable--much of the rest of the guy's social experience will reward him for being a big, fully sexualized man, expressed by dominating a girl sexually.
I was going to say I have no words for how sick "freaking" makes me, now that I have ten years between me and high school, but apparently I do.

Lighten up people.

The future generation of lap dancers has to learn their trade somewhere.

Why not high school?

I don't know the answer to this question, but given that I'm pregnant with a baby girl right now it's something I've given a lot of thought to. I love to go out and dance, and I tend to dance in a really sexual way... yanno the whole bend over, grind your ass into the guys crotch thing. Fun fun! The thing is, I'm an adult. A 14 year old is not. I'm well aware of what I'm doing, who I'm doing it with, and what the repercussions can be. A 14 year old is absolutely not.

But kids want to do what they see older people doing, right? So maybe I should stop, because of the effect that type of dancing may have on young women everywhere. I have faith in my ability to kick some guy in the nuts if he pisses me off. I'm not so sure about a 14 year old girl.

I don't presume to want to tell other women what to do. But I know that sometimes I listen to music which would make me shudder if I thought a little girl were listening to it. I know darned well that if I saw MY little girl dancing on a guy the way *I* dance when I go out, at 14 years old, I would FLIP OUT.

I am not a prude. I'm not even against the idea of my daughter becoming sexually active young, as long as *she* is in charge of her destiny and choices. I do have a problem with her setting herself up for harrassment and worse. Unfortunately, there are real physical and emotional dangers involved in this type of dancing, as I can attest to... if you think that type of dancing doesn't get a guy thinking with his little head, well... you're wrong! So I don't know what the answer is, but I just can't be mad at these principals who are doing what they believe is the only thing they can do. I know if I were principal of a high or middle school there is no way I could watch these young girls engaging in this type of behavior without doing something, and I doubt their parents would want me to.

I'm with hifi parasol on this one, seems like a good oppurtunity for a discussion to be had to me, not for dances to be cancelled.

I am also a high school girl, and I find that school dances tend to be really, really awkward. My friends and I, all girls, will dance "sexy" together because that's how your supposed to dance to that sort of music, and we aren't comfortable grinding all over some random boy.

This makes things even worse when one of us has a boyfriend, as we don't want to leave him standing all alone, but we don't want to act like some sort of beginning stripper either. It just feels like there isn't any real middle ground.

I have to say, I would agree with EG. Gym class dancing would only be at all enjoyable if we could pick partners, and as most of the time we aren't in classes with those we'd be comfortable dancing or messing up dancing around, it wouldn't be fun at all.

But canceling dances really isn't the best option either. We really do have fun at them, awkwardness aside.

Just something to add... school DJs definitely need to play a variety of music. Often, even if we request something that doesn't involve 'pimps and hos' they won't play it, because its not what the majority of bumping and grinding teenagers want.

I like Leb's plan, with the different types of music played. I know for one that my friends and I would love to see some more electronica or techno played.

I just read through everyone's comments and I think that everyone has a lot of good ideas. No I don't think that school dances should be canceled just because the kids are "dirty dancing" and whatnot. Back when my mom was in highschool, they put balloons between couples that were dancing "too close". But that idea is stupid too.

I remember back in college (and even during highschool) when there were dances, there was always inevitably some dipstick that thought it was okay to rub his hands all over your body, even when you put out absolutely NO vibes whatsoever for that to happen.

I think that maybe some of this should be included in a sex ed class. Respecting each other's bodies and "personal bubbles". Someone somewhere (including parents, but not limited to) need to be telling these kids (both boys & girls) that it's okay to say no to unwanted/unwarranted attention and touching and that not all touching leads to sex, and that you need to understand the difference